Blatant attention whoring *grins*

Necromancer's bane - Interlude 7 (blatant attention whoring) by mutsje2000 7-30-02

Apparently to get attention... ... budding newbie scripters... ... must insult veterans. Kaufman sucks. Totally.

/benny/

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My metaphors are metafives...

You need to work on your haikus. The first line has four syllables too many, and the second one too few.

Try:

To get attention
A budding newbie scripter
Must insult veterans.

Doesn't the feng shui smell nicer already?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I was just wondering why the two guys felt they had to spend all their time hanging around a graveyard.

Necromancer's bane by kramer_vs_kramer 7-30-02

How long have we been waiting out here? That's four days now, I think. Are you sure you gave the guy in Ikea the right address?

Necromancer's bane by kramer_vs_kramer 7-30-02

That's us been out here five days now. Uh-huh. Just admit it. There is no secret Backstreet Boys gig.

Incidentally, Dr K, I make your last line as having 6 syllables, unless you pronounce "veterans" as "vet-rans".

My accent pleads "no contest."

(I do try to keep syllabically ambiguous words out of my haikus, but that one snuck in.)

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Well shucks... shame it wasn't s'posed to be a haiku, but that would've been funnier. I'm not worthy *Bows down*. How about...

Insulting old faves
Is the ticket to stardom
In this goddamn place?

See, I'm no poet, so I stick to my strengths. Namely keeping two guys in a graveyard for days on end to resurect dead chicks and have sex with them :)

/benny/

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My metaphors are metafives...

Necromancer's Bane by kramer_vs_kramer 7-30-02

I've just heard. Apparently we're here to try and resurrect dead chicks and have sex with them. That's just sick! I know. If my wife found out, she'd kill me!

Neuromancer's Bane by kramer_vs_kramer 7-30-02

What are you doing over there? I'm trying to jack our brains into the neo-cyber-matrix zone. Very clever. Can you take us back to the graveyard now, please? Hold on, I'll just look it up in "Jacking your brains into the neo-cyber-matrix zone for dummies". Okay, I think I found the right command. Huh? Where are we now? By the looks of things, this is your bank account.

Necromancer's Bane by kaufman 7-30-02

Ok, I'm going to resurrect this dead chick and have sex with her. Not that one. Find another chick. Why not this one? You want her? Are you kidding? Read her gravestone! Here lies Emily Jorgenson, Jan 15 1861-Nov 24 1876, Loving and devoted yada yada yada ... See? SHE'S UNDERAGE!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Aaaaw... you're killing me, guys! *Wipes away a tear*

Necromancer's bane - Interviews with a Necromancer 5 by mutsje2000 7-30-02

Kramer_vs_kramer has asked, why are you always hanging around the graveyards? He makes me. I could've got laid by a real girl in a Catholic schoolgirl's uniform... He's really pissing me off. It was a small sacrifice to make for our service to the greater darkness of Chernobog. Er... hi, still intervieing... hello? Can you hear me? Dude, Chernobog can suck my dick. I was going to get some real pussy on Saturday! I can't believe you're so fucked in the skull that you don't get it... Mmm... fucked in the skull. I haven't tried that one yet... Okay... so, back to the interview. You've made some serious accusations against scriptcreator.com veteran, Kaufman. For an interview exclusive, then... does Kaufman really suck? Oh, totally. Fuck yes.

You're using all my jokes... *Wipes off at least three more and grumbles* :Þ

Necromancer's bane - Interlude 8 by mutsje2000 7-30-02

[*Dialog stolen by Kaufman*] [*Dialog stolen by Kaufman*] [*Dialog stolen by Kaufman*] [*Dialog stolen by Kaufman*] [*Dialog stolen by Kaufman*] [*Puncline stolen by Kaufman*]

(Necessary disclaimer: The opinions of the characters are not necessarily the opinions of the author. Benny doesn't fuck dead chicks. Honest.)

/benny/

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My metaphors are metafives...

Necromancer's bane - Interlude 9 by mutsje2000 7-30-02

I could've been anything if not a lackey to a failed necromancer... A taxidermist... an accountant... hell, even a comic strip artist. Damn. I could've been Kaufman. That'd suck non-sequiter donkey balls.

/benny/

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My metaphors are metafives...

kaufman doesn't suck.

Kaufman is one of the great Gawds of Stripcreator.

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This is not my empire.

And now for something completely different part 2 by mutsje2000 7-30-02

Hi, I'm Benny. You might know be better as mutsje2000. I'd like to take this moment to address a few issues that have cropped up of late. I recently said Kaufman sucks. Yes, he kicked my ass for it, too. Thank you all for your support. Assholes.

^_^

/benny/

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My metaphors are metafives...

quote:

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kaufman doesn't suck.

Kaufman is one of the great Gawds of Stripcreator.

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And now you can, thanks to the Kaufman School of Strip Creation. By the end of the semester, you'll be writing comics indistinguishable from his. Just ask former valedictorian ElTigreMask2K!

Final Exam at the KSCS by kaufman 7-30-02

Let's see what you all have learned. You're doing a comic about a guy digging up female corpses to screw. How do you make it funny? He speaks solely in rhyming haiku. Just as they're reaching climax, the girl's father comes up and says, "Moh." I create a new character, Mickey the Mad Maggot. I shoehorn in puns naming all 206 bones in the human body.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Necromancer's bane - Interlude 11: More Haiku Narration by mutsje2000 7-30-02

Cletus catches up... ... on Kaufman's witty reply... ... who said dead females?

*Flogs dead horse*

Last one, I promise >:D

/benny/

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My metaphors are metafives...

I really wanted tibia kaufman clone, but I knew you guys would just rib me about it.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

Necromancer's Bone by kramer_vs_kramer 7-31-02

For god's sake man, put your trousers back on.