I've got two candidates for future major characters, who could be on par with Dr Pedantic or Sticks-his-dick-in-your-ass-when-you-turn-your-back Man.

Or maybe I don't. Here's the first one:

The new legend by NeoVid 5-16-01

Someone is making a great impression on the people... He's promised to stop all H4x0r5 from making comics! And he's going to require all comics to actually be funny! Who is making these promises to make stripcreator a better place? And he's going to outlaw all donkey sodomy references! AND people who say 'moh' or 'all your base' will be shot on sight! *BLAM* urrrrkk... It is the new hero of the people, Senator Lipservice! Good news! I've made Tobor promise to stop cornholing! RAAR!! TOBOR DEMANDS LIP SERVICE!!

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Annnnd here's Xox-xox the Martian Lawyer.

Counselling by DH-01 5-13-01

Sachiko meets Xox-Xox... [ It will make its case by brining up your tortured childhood. If you did not have one, it can willingly give you one in the space of a few hours. ] ... I *LIKE* you. Fuxxxor meets Xox-Xox... [ It will show the audience that your means of torment is relatively harmless, even enjoyable with copious amounts of lubricant. ] ... I *lIkE* yOU. The Warden meets Xox-Xox... [ You did not touch the sprinkles. It is not amused. ] ... ow.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Wes Craven's Wishmaster meets Skee Lo, zaniness ensues by TEDA 5-13-01

You have woken me from my ancient imprisoned slumber, and in gratefulness I will grant you one wish! But beware, for it may hold dire consequences for the unwary! HAHAHAHAAHAAAAA! I WISH I WAS A LITTLE BIT TALLER I WISH I WAS A BALLER I WISH I HAD A RABBIT IN A HAT AND A SIX FOOT FALLER VERY WELL. Okay? You now shall force yourself into my piss-hole until my tender velvety urethra is packed with your shredded sinew and viscera. Oh, and the honeys still laugh at your yellow hatchback. I guess it's kind of poetic. CONSIDER ME PRICKHOLED SIR

I'm rather partial to Wes Craven's Wishmaster, who is a dirty, dirty cumgargle.