Tard Boy and Finkelman by squidrabies 10-21-02

My doctor just called. He says I contracted ebola when I fucked a monkey at the zoo last weekend. I'll be dead by wednesday. Zounds! They should really put warning labels on those things. Or at least stitch up their diseased simian love holes. Leaving them open is like an invitation to taboo monkey pleasure. Damned promiscuous monkeys! Their free and easy love may spell the destruction of the human race. I will wage a great and bloody war with the monkeys. PRAY TO YOUR MONKEY GODS, FOUL BEASTS! NONE SHALL SURVIVE!

Melty the Snowman by squidrabies 9-22-02

This is a home invasion, please remain calm and you won't be hurt. Where are your valuables located? Please don't steal my George Forman grill. How am I going to make hot sandwiches? I have seen the error of my ways. Please call the police so that I may give myself up. Okay. Do you know the number? Ha! I am a recidivist! I'll have that grill, fool! Curses! Failed again by our corrupt criminal justice system!

Tard Boy and Finkelman by squidrabies 9-24-02

What is the meaning of life? The question is the answer. I see. What you're saying is, there isn't just one answer for everything, we should try to find meaning in our own lives. Sorry, I thought we were playing Jeopardy. In Jeopardy, the question is the answer.

Mr. Monkeybottom by squidrabies 8-27-02

Do you like being a police officer? I'd like to beat you to death with this here night stick, blackie. Excuse me? I said, 'Yes, I love being a police officer'. That's not what you said. Dispatch, I got a 309 in progress, I'm going to need a baggie of drugs and a gun to plant on the suspect's body.

Hi? You funny. Me funny. We have super funny.

Don't ask me why, but I kinda like some of this stuff. Specifically the one with the Jeopardy punchline.

I think it's pretty good too.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

I think their amazing.
I'm putting you on my favorites list.

Best comics this month, I say. More, damn it, more!

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"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." -- mrjass@mindless.com

*the applauding*

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What others say about boorite!

Wowee, thanks! I like to think up more, but sometimes my thinker gets tired.

Super!

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Dad was flammable

Tard Boy and Finkelman by squidrabies 10-22-02

UH-OH, I MADE A STINKER! Wow, farting is really funny! Ha ha ha I know! I mean, not only does your filthy asshole make a silly noise, I also get to inhale putrid smelling air that used to be INSIDE your filthy asshole! What fun! Hmm, I'm picking up on a 'farting is actually not funny' vibe. No really, it would be even better if you could just take a shit directly into my lungs! Cut me open, funny man!

tee-hee.