It's their fault I have so many cousins!

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Dad was flammable

quote:

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It's their fault I have so many cousins!

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Damn cousins.

It's there fault I have so many catholics.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

What's so bad about cousins? It's not like they're making you MARRY them or something.

They're not, right?

They're not making him.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

quote:

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It's their fault I have so many cousins!

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Plus the fact that the Catholic religion is very hard to understand, from the outside looking in. My mother was Catholic, and my father was Southern Baptist. I went to both churches, therefore I'm christian, I guess. Anyhow, my mom eventually decided to go to the Baptist church and somehow became no longer Catholic, and apparently they won't take her back? Very confusing.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

None of this would have happened if you beleived in the gospel of Ron Jeremy.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

I say, start your own form of Christianity. All you need is a Bible and a collection plate.

Church of Brad.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

If Henry VII can do it, then why not us? And we'll hold our congregations* at a pub

*piss ups

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Scratch and sniff porn isn't as good as I'd hoped

i'm glad that i'm not a catholic in the 1950's.i mean, going to hell because you had a beef jerky on a friday? not my religion

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No.

Making sense has never been the Catholic strong suit, folks. This is the same institution that has the gall to ask for dontations when Vatican City is one of the most opulent palaces in the world. The gilding on a single fireplace alone could feed a village for a year. Nevermind the fact that the vaults contain the spoils of hundreds of sacked cities, eradicated cultures, and massacred innocents whose only transgression was to believe in an alternate viewpoint. It boggles the mind.

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The woman said, "Sir, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea." Churchill replied "madame, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.

I did a few comics on Catholicism once. I spent 4 years in Catholic school, and I don't think the basics of the religion are hard to understand. All the crazy minutia you have to do to avoid hell isn't so easy, but who cares?

"The basics," by the way are, "There are a bunch of crazy minutia that will send you to hell."

Slip-Up by Scyess 7-02-02

The pope is the leader of our religion, and as such, is infallible. ...in the name of the father, the son, and Roy Orbison -- wait, I mean the holy ghost. Well, I guess that blows a hole in your little theory. Damn.

Don't Feed the Dogma by Scyess 7-02-02

You can't dismiss the pope just because he made a recitation error. He's still infallible. How can he be infallible if he made a mistake? "Infallible" in the Roman Catholic definition means, "Incapable of error in expounding doctrine on faith or morals," not just any mistake. So, you see, by that definition, the pope is still infallible. Oh, I see. In that case, I hereby define you to be a turkey sandwich. Just sit still while I grab a beer and devour you.

Oopsie by Scyess 7-04-02

Darn it, stop arguing. The pope is infallible, and that's that! "Pater Noster, qui est in --" *pthsltlptlt* "Aw, crap." I think you mean "incontinent." Holy shit!

Didn't Know That, Did Ya? by Scyess 7-04-02

I don't understand how you Catholics can be against abortion AND contraception? How do you justify that? Well, son, it's a matter of moral choice... It's also a matter of the multi-billion dollar underground baby-selling businesses we run. Ah.

Why Does God Look Like a Big, Menacing Owl? by Scyess 8-29-02

God sent dreams to Joseph, sent plagues to Egypt and a friggin' burning bush to Moses... if he's so almighty, why doesn't He just show up once in a while and just SAY it already! *-*-*--POOF!!--*-*-* Know what? You're a jerk. Yike! Then again, subtlety does have its advantages. I didn't say a thing.

[Click to view comic: 'Aw, C'mon. You Saw It Coming.']

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"Old" is the old new.

I was brought up vaguely Catholic, therefore I'm allowed to make jokes about it, so there's nothing you gay niggers can do about it.

Catholic Physics by KajunFirefly 4-29-03

One day at the bar... So then I says, "withdrawal method?" and that's the last time she spoke to me. Ha, ha! What the fuck are you talking about?

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Dad was flammable

I hate that they act like they been around a long time just because they been around longer than say... the Rolling Stones. Religions that began before written history should be the only ones that can say they been arooooound.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

But what about the promiscuous religions?