I don't know if there are more than a couple of you that care enough to try this again, but I'll give it a shot. Plus I'm interested in running one with the new rules rather than the ones I came up with. So give me a few minutes and we'll have another contest raring to go...

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I would like to make a request - can we quietly shoot my contest format in the head and bury it in a shallow grave in the back yard?

Simply guessing rules was a lot more fun than the brainhurtiness[1] of bouncing strips back and forth.

[1] Brainhurtiness (abstract noun) 1. State of confusion and/or headache caused by excessively complex thought, 2. Material or activity, analysis of which causes confusion or headache.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

I am going to make a psychic leap and submit a comic that meets all 69 of your rules before you even think of them.

SCA by Spankling 6-06-01

It says here, "Men and women with sex chromosome abnormalities (SCA) are able to complete high school, hold full-time jobs, marry and have children, according to a new report." It would also appear that they are able to create online comics.

How close did I get?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

You think? I was digging it. Granted it took a lot more work... But either way would work. In fact, the rules can be a little different if you're just guessing. If one of my rules is 'Name a famous author', and you slip in the name of someone I've never heard of, then it makes things tough, 'cause somehow you have to relay that to me without spilling the beans for other people.

On the other hand, your way makes it so that anyone could win, right up to the end. If you fire off a bunch of correct guesses right off the bat, everyone else is gonna have a hard time catching up.

Whatever the case, I'm willing to go with the majority.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

quote:

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I am going to make a psychic leap and submit a comic that meets all 69 of your rules before you even think of them.

How close did I get?

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Ok, looking over the last few of these contests gives me a good idea that I think will work well. Rather than confine it to one or the other, we'll let people do both.

If you're pretty sure of a rule, just spit it out and you get credit for it if it's right. If you're not quite sure and you don't want to spill the beans on a good lead, make a comic and submit it and I'll tell you what's right or wrong.

What does everyone else think? Since there are only about four or five of us that actually play this?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Thanks for the comic.

1. There must be a frame without dialogue.
2. Refer to a medievalist group.
3. A hyphenated word must be present.
4. A Prop in every frame.
5. Same background in every frame.
6. Stretch the comic vertically.
7. Three-letter title.
8. The use of the letter 'z' is prohibited.
9. No animals!
10. A pair of opposites must appear in the dialogue.
11. All dialogue on the left side of the frames.
12. No narration.
13. Must have a list of at least 3 items.
14. A Character must touch the side of the frame.
15. No references to anal sex.
16. All dialogue balloons must begin with the same word.
17. The capital of Nebraska is Lincoln.
18. Use a 10-letter word of Greek origin.
19. Use a word associated with drug use.
20. Use two consecutive words that begin with the same letter.
21. Use a word in which the name of a fruit is embedded.
22. There must be green in the background.
23. Quote something.
24. The author must insult him/herself.
25. Only one sentence per dialogue balloon.
26. All Characters must be bald.
27. No seven-letter words.

... and 42 others, left as an exercise for the interested reader.

==Ken

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Ok. Here goes. Open season on rules. Ask questions. Post your own comics. State what you think the rules are. Anything works. Following is the standard 3 strip intro...

Follows Rules 1-5

A Demonic Link by gabe_billings 6-16-01

Ok. Time for vampire, werewolf and Gary Coleman hunting. Wooden stake, check. Silver bullets, check. Baseball bat, check. Get me my fruit salad. And remember... I don't want any lemons or melon. No lemons, no melon! So what do they say? We've got to stop reanimating corpses. Shit. Being an evil scientist these days sucks.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Follows Rules 6-10

Quarks, Noble Gasses and Cheese by gabe_billings 6-16-01

So I was working third shift down at the steel mill when they told me they was shutting down. That when I started up in the adult film business. Damn. That's some stone cold shit. Say... How would you like to come see my new car. It's a Ford, and it's a beauty. We could check out the backseat, eh? Ah, a christening. I'll put on my special underwear. Am I gonna have to step on you, squirrel bait? Just 'cause I'm a smaller version of you doesn't mean I can't kick your ass.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Follows Rules 1-10

Annoy Screen by gabe_billings 6-16-01

That stupid captain drove right into that fucking iceberg! He did, eh? So this is where your family fortune comes from? I started up my own little gold mine right down there. Come up here every week in my truck to get my pickings. The guy who writes these things really sucks ass. They should delete his account. Well, he is from Cleveland.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Follows No Rules

Wirthling Sucks Volume XVII by gabe_billings 6-16-01

You got my check, right? He'll be taken care of. Don't worry. You're gonna probe him good, right? The Probulator 5000 will do the job. What are you gonna do to him? I was just planning on eating him.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

These are my preliminary guesses, and I will submit a strip later on...

- Six completely different characters (can't be the same character in a different pose).

- No apparent restrictions whatsoever on props - you used none of them in any strip, compliant or non-compliant.

- Someone has to stick "eh?" on the end of their dialogue.

My brain is tired - I will think more later.

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This signature has performed an illegal operation and has been shut down.

I was going to think up a strip, but I decided not to, as I have too few of the rules.

I agree about someone having to say "eh".

I think you have to have six different poses, but not necessarily six different characters. This assumes that all yellow-shirted Gabes are considered to be the same character. If that's not so, then I'll agree with the six different characters.

I suspect that characters who share a panel must also share a taxonomical classification (e.g. both are humans, or both are birds, or something like that -- I guess it would be okay if both were robots).

I also suspect that the strip must make mention of some kind of metal or mineral.

There must be some rule about backgrounds, because I can't imagine why else Gabe would choose such arbitrary combinations of backgrounds, but I can't figure out what it is. It may have something to do with the sequence of backgrounds rather than certain ones being legal or illegal.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Fully Compliant

Cesium Rot by gabe_billings 6-17-01

Bob! What? The end of this contest is nowhere in sight. I'm going out for nachos. You in? Shit yeah. But I don't think I'm gonna fit in your pissant Hyundai. Let's take my Lincoln. Damn, Bob. Where'd you score this Mark VII? It's one phat ride. I boosted it.

This answer any questions? evil_d is close on one, starting to get good ideas about another.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Here's a clue... None of the rules have anything to do with marmosets.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I have no idea yet about nine of the rules. However, rather than spelling out the other one ...

I think I know one of the rules x 44 by kaufman 6-17-01

Lickee my bush, $3.50, poke me with your johnson for twice as much, for $25 we use a Garfield doll, nix on the freebie, fill more of my pocket before we begin, or my ray gun will blow you to atoms. Can a D-student afford that? It was cheaper in Lincoln, Jefferson City, Cleveland and Washington, even doing it with Michael Jackson. Can I be subsidized by an NEA grant if I use a Hoover vacuum? Say, do any of you know the Madison? Oh bummer, is that van burning? With the sun rising, how're you going to put it out? I should have stayed in Africa, nothing but common rows of veldt there. The grout's melting in here, call a tiler, not a tailor, for harding it up! You in a haze or what? Will Sonny Bono and Arthur Harrison pierce through those flames? And is Clint in there? Be a true man and fill up you cannon of water and put it out! We'd have to melt Mt. McKinley to get a sufficiently cool edge to put it out. She must be daft. Cart her away!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Sly kaufman gets credit for rule #6. And being the bastard he is, has chosen not to come right out and spell it out for you.

But unless you're a total gimp, you should be able to figure this one out.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

You've actually got a couple more here you conformed too. I don't have my list with me, but they're definately all in the 6-10 rule set.

#7 and #10, and #8 possibly if you wanted to argue it. I'd give you credit, though if you knew what the rule was there'd be better choices.

But you still only get points for #6 until you prove you actually know the rules. (Which you obviously do for #6.)

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

This may follow a few rules ... intentionally.

Rock and Rosary by kaufman 6-18-01

Judy! Sorry to butt in, but it's been a while. What's new? Other than my divorcing Phil? You're finally getting rid of that sleaze-bag? Good for you! I've decided to join a convent and get into heavy metal. That sounds a bit contradictory to me. Jackson Browne I could understand, but how will you pull this off? Nun of your bismuth!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Rock and Rosary by Kaufman
Follows: 4,6,7
Breaks: 1,2,3,5,9,10
Iffy: 8

4 & 6 were intentional. I'm guessing you just stumbled over 7 & 8. If you knew rule 8, you'd pick different characters.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Follows 1,3,5,7,9
Breaks 2,4,6,8,10

Social Change by gabe_billings 6-18-01

So, are you going to enter the human crushing contest at the state fair this weekend? I was thinking instead we should throw a little shindig at my place. Get the old pit of despair working. Party boobytrap! You got it, my man. I don't know if the zoo is going to give us any more tigers. I've got some eels in the fridge.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I think I know one of the rules x 44 by kaufman 6-17-01

Lickee my bush, $3.50, poke me with your johnson for twice as much, for $25 we use a Garfield doll, nix on the freebie, fill more of my pocket before we begin, or my ray gun will blow you to atoms. Can a D-student afford that? It was cheaper in Lincoln, Jefferson City, Cleveland and Washington, even doing it with Michael Jackson. Can I be subsidized by an NEA grant if I use a Hoover vacuum? Say, do any of you know the Madison? Oh bummer, is that van burning? With the sun rising, how're you going to put it out? I should have stayed in Africa, nothing but common rows of veldt there. The grout's melting in here, call a tiler, not a tailor, for harding it up! You in a haze or what? Will Sonny Bono and Arthur Harrison pierce through those flames? And is Clint in there? Be a true man and fill up you cannon of water and put it out! We'd have to melt Mt. McKinley to get a sufficiently cool edge to put it out. She must be daft. Cart her away!

I was pretty amazed by this when you first posted it, but I didn't really wade through it 'till now. It's a work of genius. How long did you spend on this? You didn't miss any!

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

If I ever win any more comic contests, which I doubt, the rules for the next one will be simple:

Make me laugh.

Love,

bunner

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

wirthling, show bunner your dick!

This one is fully compliant.

Bestial Juror by gabe_billings 6-18-01

So your mom got hit by a bus, huh? Washington can be a rough town, maybe you should hang with me for a while. Mom? Shit, that explosion didn't hurt us a bit, did it? Next time, y'all better bring Kryptonite, beeeatch! Ming na. Time for you to insert one of your sterling automoblile poetry pieces. 'Tis in a DeSoto sedan I sit...

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Idunno, 10 or 15 minutes? I just started plugging things in, occasionally going down the list to make sure everything was there.

Of course, if I were really inspired, I would have shoehorned in five duplicates, but I figured that there was enough gore already in there.

==Ken (who is obviously having too much fun, and who also knows what won't be the topic of any Comic Contest in the foreseeable future)

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com