Blah blah blah blah comic blah. Blah blah contest blah funny blah blah.

Anyway, for this contest, I'd like you to make a strip about a great moment in history. Or maybe a not-so great moment in history. But it must be set at some specific event in the past. Although you can be as revisionist as you like.

Some more rules, just to make me feel all self-important:

[list]
[*]I have a short attention span, so single strips or two-parters only. Please.
[*]The usual in-jokes are getting boring. Any appearances by Tobor or Cowboy physics etc had better be good or I'll be like "pfft".
[*]On the other hand, I'm all for running jokes into the ground, so if anyone can think of any new in-jokes or one-note characters, that would be great.
[*]Photoshopped entries will be accepted.
[/list]

Judging will be sometime Thursday/ Friday-ish.

Kramers Krazy Komic Kontest by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 5-26-03

Ok ... Grassy Knoll , Rifle Loaded , presidents motorcade in sight, Patsy already set. Man this is going to be easy. And what in the name of fuck do you think youre doing? erm , hey officer. Im a US Government operative hired to shoot pidgeons off windowledges in case they crap on the presidents motorcade. In retrospect , saying im a CIA assassin would have been a better career move , right? Yup.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Kramers Krazy Komik Kontest - 2 by Kevin_Keegans_Perm 5-26-03

STOP Godzilla. Please , do not destroy Hiroshima as you have destroyed Tokyo. I beg of you .... GRAAAHHH!!!!! What the fuck was that? I dunno , but i suddenly feel like im out of a job.

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"Life Sucks, Then you Die. The bit inbetween isnt very funny either"

Kramers Krazy Komik Kontest by Bastaard 5-26-03

Timeline: around the year 1492. Ahhh, the lord will find His followers here in this new world. Welcome to Vengengingy. All these natives must be taught about the Lord Almighty and His divine plan. Are you listening to me? We shall call this land Amorica! Thats it, i'm getting my bow and arrow.

S'been a while since we've seen any of them.

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Dad was flammable

CC 189 - Great Moments Of History by Chi_The_Cynic 5-26-03

Mummy why is the White House white? Well... once upon a time some British soldiers came to Washington and they... 1814: Washington Hah HAH! That'll teach those Yankees a damn good lesson, what! ...painted it white? Err, yes... yes, that's right, they "painted" it white...

Goddamnit internet. 100,000 pictures of Abe Lincoln and THIS is the best picture I could find of JWB.

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

CC 189: Sub-Standard! HaHaHaHaHa! by MaxPayne 5-26-03

1955: The Nautilus, the first nuclear-powred submarine, sets out on it's maiden voyage.

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

CC 189: Unbreakable! (Oh wait, wrong movie) by MaxPayne 5-26-03

This ship can never sink! It's iceberg-proof! Well, just in case, put on this diamond necklace and take off all your clothes. Well, that was fun. What - OMFG an iceberg! Never let go.... umm.. Leo...

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

CC 189: June 25,1876: Custer's Last Stand by MaxPayne 5-26-03

Surrender! Dude, we've got you surrounded! OMFG LAG!

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

CC 189: Russian Occupation of Afghanistan by MaxPayne 5-26-03

Sweet! The Russians left behind all their RPG's & vodka! And plenty of tanks, too! What should we do with all this shit? Well, the Russians DID destroy our entire economy and ravage our natural resources... Let's bomb the U.S. !!! Let's bomb the U.S. !!!

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

CC 189: I have a dream! by Ewwwww 5-27-03

1935, Atlanta Georgia... Whats the matter son? Sniff sniff... Did you wet your bed again? I had a dream.

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

I don't know If you will except this one, but it deals with a famous speech.

Best Pickup Line Ever 2 by Ewwwww 5-23-03

I haven't 4 scored in 7 years. Damnit, that one should have worked.

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

Ewwwww's entry made me want to enter this one.

I had a dream... by jes_lawson 5-21-03

Jes! I am Dr. Martin Luther King. Do not be alarmed, as we are both dreaming, and as such both occupy a single point in Space/Time! Wow! So...in reality I'm asleep in 2003...and you're asleep back in 1963? Correct. In fact, I'm in the middle of a very profound dream I'm going to write a speech about... The one where little black children will join hands with little white children and walk as brothers and sisters? No. The one where the black children set fire to all the white children, and then I ass-rape Martha Reeves, but that scans a lot better. Thanks.

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

CC189: The Decade (So Far) in Review by Bargaintuan 5-27-03

Afghanistan Iraq The Dixie Chicks

And here's a blast from the past, regarding the Clone-Aid/Raelian "controversy" from earier this year:

Cloning Around by Bargaintuan 2-06-03

Hello. My name is Sally. My name is Eve. I'm a clone. Silly Eve, clones don't exist!

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Life is a lot like getting mugged; you get your kicks, you take your punches, and when it's over, someone else gets your cash.

sorry about the quality, but I started with a fuzzy Gore image

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

CC 189: The Rest of the Story by kaufman 5-27-03

December 16, 1903, Kitty Hawk, NC Please, sir, step over here and remove your shoes. But I'm already late. I have a flight to catch. Yo've been randomly selected for a carry-on luggage inspection. I'll have to look through your entire bag. And that's why the Wright Brothers flew on the 17th. What? I have no photo ID! I'm sorry, then, Mr. Wright, but I can't allow you to board the airplane. You'll just have to come back tomorrow.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

January 6, 2001 by kaufman 5-27-03

Let there be light.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 189: The Assassination of Caesar by kaufman 5-28-03

Cassius, we need to kill Caesar. The question is, how to do it, while making it look like an accident? Brutus, I've told you again and again, quit calling me Cassius. My name is Muhammed. I float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. Whatever ... Sting like a bee. Hmmm ... Caesar's allergic to pollen. We can bring him some flowers, and he'll suffer a fatal reaction. That might just work. I'll pick you a nice bouquet. Hi, Julius, I brought you some flowers. I hope you like them. ACHOOOOO, Brute!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Just Before the first Shot of the Civil War by Spankling 5-28-03

Yo mama so stupid, her breasts are square cuz she forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box. Yo mama so poor, the only time she smelled hot food was when a rich man farted! Yo mama so ugly, when she masturbates she gets arrested for cruelty to animals. Yo mama so ugly, yo father's breath smells like shit 'cause he'd rather kiss her ass. Yeah... well yo mama... yo... Yo mama so nasty she did the splits and stuck to the floor.

OR

Not the Easiest Relocation by Spankling 5-28-03

So Moses. You gonna split the red sea again or what? How the hell did God expect me to get across that fast? I mean, you seem to be wondering like you're lost. He said "Wave the stick! Trust me!" And now I'm all wet, listening to this whiny bitch! An' it wont take long to find the promised land, right? Cuz I hate being in the sun. Maybe I should study Taoism.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

CC 189: The M in MTV Stands For Motherf&!^@#!! by MaxPayne 5-28-03

August, 1981: MTV goes on the air And now, The Buggles wth: Video Killed the Radio Star! This is pretty rad! A whole channel devoted entirely to playing music videos. 1 day later... And now we go to Bill Belamy with some stupid whores dancing in a pool! WTF? Well, I guess they'll show videos later. 2 days later... And now, Road Rules VS. Real World All-Terrain Extreme Bungy-Jump Bowling! I fucking hate you MTV.

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

CC 189: Salem, MA. 1692 by jes_lawson 5-29-03

America must not ignore the threat gathering against us. Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof. Proof? What proof? ...that of a smoking gun in the form of a mushroom cloud. Yipes! You've convinced me! What do we do now? Throw any suspected witches in the lake. If they don't drown like good Christians, they're obviously in league with Satan! And if they are, we'll burn them at the stake! I'll go get my mother-in-law...

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

In the beginning...

CC189 Entry 1 - 2001: A God's Ooopsy-Daisy! by Shadow_Artist 5-29-03

Hey Dad! What's that strange black thing you've got there? This, son, is the Black Monolith of Infinity! I combined its awesome power with my own when I created the Earth. Cool! Give us a look...ooops! Jesus, you goat-tit! You've dropped it on the Earth! Who knows what twisted ideas my creations will have now thanks to the Monolith's terrible energy! Woah! The yellow phallus fruit actually tastes a lot better if you roll back the foreskin first! Just like in real life!

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Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive. And don't ever apologize for anything. - Harry S Truman, 33rd president of US (1884 - 1972)

Another Day in Ancient Rome by kaufman 5-29-03

Ok, Mittens, go get 'em! We have to fight THAT? That's not a lion, it's a pussycat. Yes, but remember, we're Unitarians.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

The first one was inspired by Bastaard.

CC189-The Day after the first Thanksgiving (est. 1610) by mmyers 5-28-03

Hello, noble savage. I noticed that you left your hammer lying on the ground over there. May I borrow it? I guess so. Weeks later... Hey, you borrowed my hammer a couple of weeks ago. Can I get that back from you? What hammer? I don't know what you're talking about? *Sigh* Hey, can I borrow your tee-pee next?

CC189: Independence Day (July 4, 1776) by mmyers 5-28-03

I'll be there in a minute. Hey John Hancock, come on. We're all lining up to sign the Declaration of Indepence. Don't worry, John, we'll save you some space down at the bottom. Yep, don't worry. We'll all write our names small so there will be room for you. Later... Hey, that asshole signed his name bigger than the rest of us. Boo-yah!

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.