Dear models,
Do you get boned enough? Because you sure are hot. I hope you are getting boned a lot, because you deserve it. If you're not, give me a call, I'll be happy to accomidate you. Thank you for your time and consideration,
mAAk

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Vote Jeb Bush 2008

Does this also go for male models?

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Batman created by Bob Kane

what about new car models? and model airplanes?

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

Wasn't he referring to them? I thought MaKK was looking for a job as a fluffer.

By the way, MaKK, you forgot to include your resumé with this cover letter. How would people know if you're qualified?

Is this as in a pillow fluffer or a really bad actor (as in flufing your lives)?

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

My grandfather had a Model T. I totally would have sex with that car.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Open letter to fashion models.

Dear Fashion Models,

Just because we like to break all the old rules doesn't mean they no longer apply. We are working with a vocabulary here, a visual one, and you are the narrator, so to speak. So you must hone your craft so that you know what you are doing when you break the rules. Otherwise, the audience will think you're just a ditz, and you won't get gigs. Actually, the client won't even let your shots see the light of day.

Here's what it comes down to. When we're shooting a coffee ad, and I tell you to look sad and pensive, you'd better not look pouty. Or if I tell you to look like you're having serious fun for this cigarette ad, you have to give me some gravity, and to do that, you have to know which way to stretch and twist, which muscles to tense, without my telling you. I'm not going to pose you like a goddamn action figure. I'll stop the shoot and get another girl. I've done it many times.

You'd better take ballet, because if you look at a bunch of poses, you'll see that the basic ones are founded on the five positions of ballet. When I say "quatrième position croisée," it's not to hear myself speak French. You should also take acting, so you know how to take direction and how to emote, although most modeling will not require you to speak, and thank God for that.

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What others say about boorite!

I'm sorry. I thought this was an open letter to ex models. My mistake.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Oh.... and just because you're an ambulatory mannequin that gets paid Paul McCartney money to prance about and look mildly disaffected while wearing oddly shaped clothing doesn't mean that you have something inherently profound to say about life on earth.

More prancing, less sound bites.

Thank you.

P.S: I'm down with the boning thing. Thanks.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Well, I guess I forgot to specify women..
I suppose I have to honor my offer though (bunner, I had no idea you were a model)

*makk hesitantly bones bunnerabb all night*

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Vote Jeb Bush 2008

*makk wakes up.

*makk rinses the goo out of his sheets.

*makk dreams of other gay conquests

Ad infinitum...

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

where did you hide the cameras WHERE

THIS IS A GROSS MISCARRIAGE OF PRIVACY

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Vote Jeb Bush 2008

I'd like to say something, at risk of being verbally attacked. Models don't make that much money in the beginning, and it takes the incredibly strong to survive in most cases. They verbally abuse you, they charge you for the clothes they have you model, and they *try* to starve you (what you eat when you get home is a totally different story, and you will be abused for it at the next shoot when you've put on .5 pounds). Maybe they don't have much of a brain, but that's because they are conditioned in that way. They're not paid to think for themselves, they're paid to say what their agents want them to say. Yes, some are brain dead, but you would be too if you were constantly toking up to stay thin enough to model.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

I've always thought being a model would be both very difficult and very boring.

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What others say about boorite!

Well I think if models were smart they could be actresses instead.

I know I can say that without offending Chicka becasue we all know she is smart.

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Vote Jeb Bush 2008

It's a gig. Honest work, IMHO. I'm sure there must be at least a few MENSA hopefuls in the profession of clothes modeling. However, I still think that being a public figure doesn't inherently make you somehow privy to great societal or cultural insight that must be shared with the unwashed masses.

This also applies to:

Musicians.
Politicians.
Actors.
Architects.
Civil servants.
Physicians.
Athletes.

Being famous for being famous just sort of gets on my tits, I guess.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Dude I am just straight up talking about boning people. Really. Just boning. And those important people aren't reading you here anyway.

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Vote Jeb Bush 2008

They aren't important.

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"In a thousand years there will be no men and women just wankers and that's fine by me."

Hello Tuscaloosa!

Are you guys ready to ROCK?

Save the rain forest!

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What others say about boorite!

Dude.... this is Ottumwa. You are so not being a good rock star.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

While this may be true, they pick their profession. I believe that if you pick your poison, you really can't complain about it, unless you are trying to make it better.

Oh, and toking up makes you LOSE weight? I don't know about the rest of you, but pot gives me serious munchies.

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Welcome to Bohemia. Population: a lot Cash flow: a little