Mystery Comic Cup 2

Yes, it's time for Mystery Comic Cup 2 to actually begin.

The rules:
[list]
[*]People participating in the Cup will vote for the best comic in each round.
[*]Revelation of your identity does not disqualify you anywhere along the way.
[*]All participants will reveal their identities at the end.
[*]Feel free to confirm or deny your identity if someone guesses it, but personally I think it's more fun if we reveal at the end.
[*]If I find anyone has entered under multiple identities, all of their identities will be disqualified from further competition. Don't fuck with me, or I will chop off your head and have Tobor cornhole the stump.
[/list]

Rules for each match are typical Cup rules. Submit a single comic based on the rule for that round, yadda yadda. The only oddity will be the third round, where there will be three contestants. I figured that was better than eliminating four contestants or giving someone a free pass to the final.

We're gonna move this puppy along. Forty-eight hours maximum for a comic submission and 24 hours for voting, with some slack for the weekends. You snooze, you lose.

Kajun_Firefly is your backup host for those times I am away. I'll try to give him enough notice. If he fails to live up to his awesome backup host duties, I invite jes_lawson and andydougan to step in and keep things running smoothly.

For each round I will give you one of the rules submitted by a contestant, and a random serious poem from Rafi's Random Poetry Generator for you to use as inspiration. I realize that I didn't ask for nearly enough rules, and this is my way of providing a theme for each round while incorporating your content rules.

Your contestants are (seeded in alphabetical order):

[list]
[*]BobbyExtreme
[*]Cancer_Spy
[*]cappy_coke
[*]el_hijo_del_iris
[*]FourKneeKate
[*]GravyBoat2003
[*]HDB
[*]MotherGoose
[*]Mr_Doom
[*]ReplacerEraser
[*]y
[*]youdontknowme
[/list]

The bracket can be seen here.

First round to be posted shortly.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Minor correction. HDB lost access to his/her account and is now known as I_Smell_Like_Poo.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Round 1, Match 1

BobbyExtreme vs. Cancer_Spy

Rule: All characters in the comic must be female.

Poem:
[i]
She darkly raises the dreary tables
Because the trees go behind the small sheep.
Where does the worm fall so secretly?
What is a woman?
A salesman smiles cleverly above the quick chairs.
The snakes write.
[/i]

Since this is the first round, I want to make it clear -- just use the poem as some sort of inspiration. You aren't required to explain the poem or use lines from it.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

MCC 2: What those newsgroup poems are really for by BobbyExtreme 6-04-03

This is stupid... Come on, I'm sure this will work. Can't we just go out and buy a new one? No. Now put your costume on. All this trouble to try and resurrect a broken vibrator! Come on Stacy, Cyber Wicca? Do you want to use the bedpost again? OK - say what I say: "She darkly raises the dreary tables..."

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I am Bobby Extreme.

MCC2: How do you milk them? by Cancer_Spy 6-04-03

What is a woman? They're like us, but with less nipples. Like bulls? Kind of, yes, but they're more dangerous. They have bigger horns? No, they use guilt.

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I once drew a man with no hat, he cried

BobbyExtreme

BobbyExtreme

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Ask me about the Witness Protection Program.

BobbyExtreme

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I am shrouded in mystery, no?

Bobby Extreme...

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

Actually, Ewwww, you should vote using your alias account, not your actual account.

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Dad was flammable

Yea, I kinda messed up...

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"No obscene images." I guess I'll just have to settle for saying cocksucker a lot.

Cancer_Spy

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Hi, I'm Kate. I have four knees.

bobbyextreme.

Furthermore, I would like to guess that ewwww is fourkneekate in the event that he may not have had the foresight to wait a few hours before posting his vote and then, to throw people off the trail, voted for the opposite. It is more a joke than anything, because I don't think anyone short of Devin is quite that stupid.

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groin grabbingly funny

BobbyExreme!!!

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"Hey! You really do smell like poo!"- One_Eye_Jake

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"Are You The Drunken Fighter?" "I Dont Know About Fighting, But I Sure Am Drunk."

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, Ewwwww.

He's obsessed with the "HDB" thing and obviously smells like poo.

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Dad was flammable

hdb!

BobbyExtreme

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COME FOR A RIDE ON ME, THE USS GRAVY BOAT 2003!

2 things...
1. GravyBoat2003 is dcomposed.
2. Why does kajun hate me? It says you shouldn't be taken orally, which makes since you are a very Anal Person.But nice guess for a drunk, I mean a Scotsman...

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"Are You The Drunken Fighter?" "I Dont Know About Fighting, But I Sure Am Drunk."

Bah!

Well, it was a fun few hours.

I can wait another year for the 3rd installment.

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I once drew a man with no hat, he cried

Winner of Round 1, Match 1: BobbyExtreme

The bracket is here.

Round 1, Match 2

cappy_coke vs. el_hijo_del_iris

Rule: Involve the term Penal Code somewhere in the comic.

Poem:

[i]
We slowly examine the dreary house
And the snakes fight on the small cows.
What do the bears build so openly and cleverly?
Where are the people?
The dancers fall lovingly on the face of the pale lion.
The moons love.
[/i]

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

cappy_coke is SOOO k_v_k.

For the record, Devin, I also think you are stupid.

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Vote Jeb Bush 2008

cappy_coke is SOOO k_v_k.

I bet you $10000000000 he's not.

Aw, you're so sweet, ya knucklehead.

MCC 2: The true meaning of 'random' by el_hijo_del_iris 6-05-03

Oh man, I just found the funniest thing online. A random poem generator! What do you do? You just tell it to make one and it does it? Yup. Check it. "We slowly examine the dark house..." Ha! This stuff makes no sense at all. That's great! It's completely random and nonsensical. They must have one of those programs that randomly assigns verbs and nouns in preset sentences. I can't think of what else to write in this poem...how about "And the snakes fight on the small cows?" I'm sure this is a violation of the penal code.

Fight, fight, FIGHT!

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I am shrouded in mystery, no?

Here Cums Santa Claus, Here Cums Santa Claus by cappy_coke 6-05-03

So, what're you in for? I was dressing up like santa and raping young boys. You? I dropped some acid and started to see snakes fighting and bears building a house. I tried to pull the snakes apart so they'd stop and one bit me. I called the ambulance and they sent police. and of course they arrested you for possession and use of acid. Right...So...raping children huh? DEFINATELY something in the penal code about that! Heh heh Yeah, but the important thing rigth now is that MY penal code says you are my new bitch. Bend over sweetheart.

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groin grabbingly funny