All comics by THESANDWICH

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by THESANDWICH
11-29-03
One peaceful day in peaceful land...
Hello.
Hello.
Suddenly:
Do you like my hat?
No I do not like your hat.
Meanwhile...
Why did sandwichman's password get mailed to me? WHO IS THIS STALKER?
I am the worst computer ever. =(

 

by THESANDWICH
11-29-03
Boo.
...what?
I scare you, right?
Here. Eat this small asian girl who has suddenly encased my body.
Soon...
WOAH! IT'S ALL SO COOL NOW!
Shut up. I can curse you, as I have more money than you do.

 

by THESANDWICH
11-29-03
Mom, why did you wake me up so early?
Your father wants to speak with you, young man!
Yo, son! I'm a farmer!
THAT'S IT? THAT'S WHY YOU GOT ME UP AT 4 IN THE MORNING?
Wait, how are we here now?
You forgot about my magic farmer powers.

 

by THESANDWICH
11-29-03
Sorry, I couldn't say the real reason there. Today is the day of your initiation into the order! Now, what is your name?
You know that already. It's Jimbobninjafuheadmittens.
Sorry there! Your name is above 15 characters! Your new default name is Bob!
What? My name is Jimbobninjafuheadmittens and you know it.
Shut up Bob. The order hates people who reject their new short names! Now, what is the date and time? Your gender would be nice too.
I hate the order and I hate you.

 

by THESANDWICH
11-29-03
Sorry, I couldn't say the real reason there. Today is the day of your initiation into the order! Now, what is your name?
You know that already. It's Jimbobninjafuheadmittens.
Sorry there! Your name is above 15 characters! Your new default name is Bob!
What? My name is Jimbobninjafuheadmittens and you know it.
Shut up Bob. The order hates people who reject their new short names! Now, what is the date and time? Your gender would be nice too.
I hate the order and I hate you.

 

by THESANDWICH
11-29-03
Several hours later...
Now, that should be all. Follow me.
Whatever.
Hey there, Bob! How are you?
What? What are you doing here, my best friend named Jim who is incedentally much cooler than I am! How did you know I was here?
It's my initiation today too! Isn't that great?
HELP! METEORS ARE ATTACKING THE VILLAGE! WE MUST GO BACK RIGHT AWAY!

 

by THESANDWICH
11-29-03
Using his magic farmer powers, Bob and Jim got back to the village.
Oh God! They're eating people!
I'm the meteor king!
What are you doing here? Why aren't you a meteor?
I lied. I just felt like eating a village with my troops. They're all behind me, just outside the panel.
I don't like you very much. You ate my mom. I think I want to fight you now. And uh, Jim does too.
...you're kidding, right? I'm the boss of the game. Oh well.

 

by THESANDWICH
11-29-03
BATTUL MOED!!!!!!!11!!1!!!!!!
I attack with my right hand for 8 damage.
I kill you.
I do the same as Bob, as THESANDWICH is too lazy to think up a good early battle thingy.
I kill you too.
Isn't this cheating? You can't just kill us right off the bat!
Yes I can. This battle's rigged, genius. I win because it's the beginning of the game. And I can do anything I want, idiot. And you're not really dead. I just knocked you out anyway. Quit whining.

 

by THESANDWICH
11-29-03
I like boats.
MUAHAHAHAHA! Now I have beaten you, and I will take your farmer AND your kitty cat Mittens!
I hurt.
Rainbow pudding > boats, though
Damn! We need to get more party members now! Are you with me, Jim?
Sure. Whatever. I can't argue because I HAVE NO FREE WILL.
HEY EVERYONE! WHOEVER JOINS OUR PARTY GETS A T-SHIRT!
You should offer something better. We have about 800 cracked lances. Try that.

 

by THESANDWICH
11-29-03
They went to the land of inconsistent backgrounds.
OK, name?
I AM THA WIZARD!!!!11!!1!!!!11!
I AM STILL THA WIZARD!!!!!11!!1!!!!!!!1111!!!!1!
Jim, what do you think?
THE END
Hey, hey. Ask me if I have a point.
...I hate you.

 

by THESANDWICH
11-29-03
Hey, I'm hungry. Want a mullet?
HAHA! That's funny. It goes on the board.
Why did you do that?
That's funny too! It goes on the board TWICE!
For every nail that's in my forehead, you REALLY suck.
Y4Y! U R TEH FUNNAY!

 

by THESANDWICH
11-29-03
Hey, what did I say to me?
Dude, I DON'T CARE.
No, JESUS CHRIST!
Damn. I lose again.
This is going to send THESANDWICH to Hell, isn't it?
I don't know, but this is the crappiest looking Hell I've EVER seen.

 

by THESANDWICH
11-30-03
Yeah, what d'ya want?
HAI!
Please stop talking in all caps. Please.
POWER PUNCH HAI!
You see? THIS is what happens when you talk in all caps.
...We meet again. Damn.

 

by THESANDWICH
11-30-03
Hey, there, Daniel! How're you doing?
n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b!
What?
n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b! n00b!
Meanwhile, somwewhere infinitely more interesting...
Come over here. I've got chesnuts.
Chesnuts?

 

by THESANDWICH
11-30-03
Y4Y! +3|-| 9|^\1\//-\73 |-|@99y |_/-\|\||) 4 /\/\3!!!!11!!!!1!
Would you like some more HAPPY?
Y4Y! 73|-| /\/\0|^\3 |-|/-\99Y 4 /\/\3!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!11!!!!1!
I wish I was voiced by Norman Whatshisface.
I FOUND THE MINICONS!

 

by THESANDWICH
11-30-03
One blissful morning...
Let's see... today's mail... I WON A DOGGY!
OMGHAHALOLWTF
Who, or what, are you?
Later that ninja
If you had a hat, it would suck.
Shut up! I'm stargazing.

 

by THESANDWICH
12-02-03
Hmm? "chaosmechasonic wants to chat. Do you want to do so?" Sure, why not.
DO U LIEK TINY TOONS?
Uh, yeah, they were OK.
OK. DO U LIEK ANIMANIACS OR SOINC X?
Oh, I can just TELL that this is going to be fun.

 

by THESANDWICH
12-02-03
I JUST SAW THE MATRIX 2!!!!!1!!!11!!!1
You mean Reloaded? A lot of people didn't like that. I did. Must have been unacievably high expectations or something.
DO U LIEK CR2NZ?
Yeah, I'm watching Naruto right now.
DO U OWN ANE VIDEO GAYMES?
Uh, yeah... I've gotta go. Bye.

 

by THESANDWICH
12-02-03
Jesus, man, this guy's been IMing me for the past month. I never accept any of the damn things, but just a couple of days ago, he invited me to a chat. A CHAT. He can't take a hint!
Block him.
Nah, the primal part of me wants to see how long he's gonna keep this up. OH CRAP. I hit enter when he IMed me. JESUS! He's retarded.
Have fun with that.
asdjklhflasjkdgo ;ashdnfj kabs dio'gh a sdj.fbasdk;uf
Oh, joy. Not being able to ignore is simply FANTASTIC.

 

by THESANDWICH
12-02-03
R U THER?
Fuck off.
WAT?
Y U SWAR AT ME?
El blocko.

 

by THESANDWICH
12-02-03
A message from "PowerGears"? Ah, let's see how this turns out.
Hey, are you a friend of chaosmechasoinc?
He thought I was, but I thought he was a whore.
OK, 'cause he told me to tell you to "fuck off u stupad bithc"
OK, thanks. I'll take that to heart. Have a nice day.
You too, man.

 

by THESANDWICH
12-04-03
I have a beard.

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