All comics by AndTeenAngstForAll

Profile

 

Hey, Kid. Are you Daniel Cloneton?
Uh, yeah. Why?
It has come to the Government's knowledge that you recently became a Teenager. I've been ordered to deliver your Government-Issue Teen Angst, Attitude Problem and Acne.
*Rolls Eyes* Great, I always wanted to read "The Catcher In The Rye."

 

So for Friedrich Nietzsche's Birthday you got him a Card?
Not just a card! An Ubercard. And I put some Ubergeld inside, of course.
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-15-07

 

Liam, I'm breaking up with you.
No, Sophie! You can't! Think of all we've been through together! The Protests, Pot, Boycotts, Marches, not Showering and Pink Floyd Concerts! Didn't they mean anything to you?
Sorry, Liam, but I have to be going. I'm meeting Sean to go protest the Public Library. The glue they use to bind those books is made from Animal Products, ya know.
Sophie, come back! Uh... Everytime you break my heart a baby Seal is clubbed to death, or something.

 

So, you don't believe in Abortion?
Correct. It isn't in the Bible, so it can't be real. People killing babies before they're born? Come on, that just has to be an Urban Legend. It is just something made up by the Liberal Media.
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-16-07

 

I like your place. I never knew you had such a large Movie collection.
Yeah, I love Movies. What's your favorite Genre?
I guess I would have to say Black Comedy.
I love Black Comedies! Next Friday was a great Movie!
... I meant like dark humor.
Oh, uh...

 

So last night I had this girl over. And she was giving me head. She was really bad at it and I was like are you a N00b at this or something? So I taught her how to do it right.
You've never actually kissed a girl, have you?
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-16-07

 

Pretend these guys are Native Americans.
The Whiteman is taking mor and more land everyday. What should we do?
Let's give them Tobacco.
Tobacco?
Yeah. We'll lie and say that it's cool and that we smoke it all the time, so it's safe. Then they'll all get addicted, get Cancer and then die!
Hey, Buddy!
Awesome! More Cigarettes! *Smokes Ciagrettes and gets Cancer*

 

I totally get why I had to learn Trigonometry in High School.
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-18-07

 

I hate when people asks the questions: 'What do you wanna be when you grow up? And what do you wanna be for Halloween?' in the same converstation.
Why's that?
Because I have the same answer for both questions.
And what is that?
A fat, white, middle-aged Accountant.
AAAHHHH! *RUNS AWAY*

 

I don't give a fuck if we're in a severe Drought, my grass is gonna be motherfuckin' green!
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-19-07

 

Ya know, if you don't clean your room, me and your Mom are going to send you to one of those Third World Countries where they practice Female Circumcision.
*Cries*
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-20-07

 

So, my friends never called me to go with them to the Zombie walk. I guess they don't care enough about me to wanna eat my brains.
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-20-07

 

Alright Class, today we're going to talk about domesticated animals. Jill, can you name a domesticated animal?
Pigs!
How 'bout you, Alice. Can you give us an other domesticated animal?
Cows!
Mark, do you know any domesticated animals?
Women!

 

 

It seems that during my research I've discovered some frightening news.
What's that?
Some people actually think Bob Saget is hot.
Ew.

 

To some people this is hot.
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-20-07

 

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20071019/od_afp/australiavoteoffbeat_071019162250
I'm the Prime Minister, not a Magician. I can't pull Rabbits outta my hat!
How 'bout you pull this outta a hat! Sic Semper Tyrannis!

 

http://archives.cnn.com/2001/WORLD/asiapcf/east/05/23/dalai.bush.02/index.html
President Bush, it's so nice to see you again.
Who are you, Ninjaman? You can't be the Dalai Lama, you don't have big boobs and sing country music.
I think you have me confused with Dolly Parton. I'm the Dalai Lama, the leader of Tibetan Buddhism.
Damnit. Well, wanna hang out anwyays?

 

Daniel Johnston is a genius. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R0w94SIrwJ8
Don't play cards with Satan. He'll deal you an awful hand.
:(
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-22-07

 

Must....Eat....Grains!!!
Aahh! It's a Zombie! Everyone run for your lives! He wants to eat our Brains!
No, no, no. I don't eat Brains, anymore. I'm on a diet. I need to get more Grain products in my diet.
Whatever you want. Just don't eat my Brain!

 

So what have you been up to lately?
Just wonderin' what I'd do if I was told that I only had a few Weeks to live...
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-23-07

 

You know those people who get turned-on by diapers and stuff, right?
Uh, I guess. I'm not one of them or nothing. What about them?
Do you think they had those, like, in the past? Like, do you think there were Ancient Greeks who were into wearing diapers?
Um... Good question.

 

... And that is where Babies come from.
Babies come from Vaginas!
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-23-07

 

88!
If you're the Master Race, why were you molested as a kid?
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-24-07

 

A new study on Depression came out today finding that I'm depressed as hell and hate my life. Also, I want to die.
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-24-07

 

Nice beard.
Yeah, I know. I've been meanin to shave for a while. I just hate shaving my face.
I could shoot it off your face.
No. I, uh, don't think that's a good idea.
No, really, I'm a good shot. I'm a motherfuckin' William Tell!
Yeah, I'm gonna go shave. I'll be right back.

 

Say 'Hello!' to Heart Disease, Motherfuckers!
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-25-07

 

I'm gonna fuck you so good, you won't mind getting knocked-up, then me leaving you, and you having to be a Single-Mother who doesn't get any Child Support.
:)
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-26-07

 

Sophie, come back! I'll do anything! What does he have that I don't have!?!
A boat.
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-27-07

 

Does this Outfit make my ass look big?
Yes, yes it does.
:(

 

If you hate your life so much, why do you 'make love' to yourself all the time?
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-28-07

 

So, you should believe in me. I mean I died pretty badly for your sins.
I dunno. It couldn't have been that bad.
What? Look what they did to me!
I think I can one-up that.
Shit.

 

I'm so horny for your money.
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-29-07

 

What are you doin' back here... Are you masturbating?
SHUT UP! DON'T JUDGE ME! I'M AN ARTIST!
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-29-07

 

Wanna see my 'Thermal Expansion'?
Yes. Yes I would.
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 10-30-07

 

I like Halloween because its the one night a year where a girl can dress up like a slut and no one can say anything about the way that she's dressed.
But, Mother Sarah, you're a Nun.
Exactly. I otherwise have no chance to show off 'what God gave me.'

 

Do you think that Goth kids see Halloween as their Valentine's Day?
Yeah, I bet they do.
The pale Samhain moon makes your skin look like death.
I love you so much.

 

Trick-or-treat!
Um... What are you supposed to be?
A horny Teenager. Now give me candy.

 

So, uh, what's up, Doc?
You're dying of Cancer.
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 11-01-07

 

These are Scene Kids. Can you say 'pretentious'?
So who is your favorite Math Rock Band?
Joy Division.
Um... They're not Math Rock. They just have a math term in their name. Do you even know what Math Rock is?
Oh, well, um... I've heard of it, but I've never heard it before.

 

They space inbetween the two Siamese Twins is to cover up where they're connected.
I hate being a Siamese Twins. Why do I gotta be connected to this Jerk-Off.
Ya know, even though we're only connected by the hand, we still share the same brain, Asshole.
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 11-03-07

 

Look! Up in the sky! It's a flying Hippo!
That's hip-posterous.
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 11-04-07

 

Watch out! I'm a mother fuckin' Bee! I'll sting yo' ass!
I don't think so. You're just a Bee, I'm a WASP. You best be scared of me.
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 11-05-07

 

Man, after 9/11 bands like Vegan Reich just aren't cool anymore.
Yeah, and with the current threat of War with Iran I wouldn't even think of listening to Fearless Iranians From Hell.
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 11-06-07

 

If you could have any Superpower what would it be?
Um... I don't know. I guess I'd wanna be able to fly. What power would you want?
I already have a Superpower.
Oh yeah? What's that?
I can turn into motherfuckin' Samuel L. Jackson at will.
Holy Shit!

 

So do you like coming to the Office with Daddy, Linda?
Not really. I don't like the Xenophobic Machine.
Uh, do you mean the Xerox Machine, Sweetie?
Whatever you wanna call it. I clearly heard it say 'Go back to China!'

 

So my g string broke on my guitar and i dont know how to change it.
Why were you playin' guitar in your panties, anyways?
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 11-09-07

 

I hate Humans.
Yeah, they're nothin' but a bunch of dirty Airbreathers.
I can hear y'all, I'm right over here.

 

When I signed up as a Political Science major they should've told me I was really majoring in Greek Philosophy.
by AndTeenAngstForAll, 11-11-07

 

Ya motherfuckin' PeePeePooPoohead.
Ya fuck with me, you'll end up dead.

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