All comics by Shadman

Profile

 

by Shadman
9-04-01
Dan The Man tries to make his own comics
Holy Shit these comic characters are fucking gay.
Ching Chank CHAYAYAAAAAA
Don't you Speak any damn English, bitch?
Me love you long time. Sucky Sucky 5 Dollar.
I got 5 Dollars! Wanna suck my nuts? Get it, I am a damn squirrel. Ohhh, this sucks.
AYEEEEEEEEEEE.

 

by Shadman
9-04-01
Gay-Cowboy tries to pick up little billy.
Wanna have a good time? I have some candy for you if you come see the back of my van.
Don't touch me! I'll telll my daddy!
Billy gets his father.
No, don't tell. I am too frail for prison!
I am Billy's Dad. I am calling the cops you fag cowboy!
The gay cowboy gets his in the end.
Prison sucks. I want my mommy!
Hey, I dropped my soap. Can you get it for me, bitch?

 

by Shadman
9-04-01
Peter goes to hell
Where am I? A second ago I was in a plane!
You, damned one, are mine!
Holy shit it's satan...I thought you would look different.
Pay no attention to my appearance, damned one. Be more worried about my minions tearing you apart and eating your intestines for all of eternity. Here comes one now!
Things get a little too out of hand for Peter.
Prepare for a billion years of pain and torture!
What's this a fucking joke? Where am I, really?

 

by Shadman
9-04-01
Hey there little girl. Wanna get down in my junkpile?
Stop you child molester! I will set you on fire with this gas and a lighter!
Don't slip.
Oops. AHHHHHH!
Let this be a lesson! Don't try to fend off Child molesters with gas and fire. Use an Uzi. (If you are under 18 years of age please ask a parents permission before shooting any child molesters.)
Stupid Bitch.

 

by Shadman
9-04-01
Peter finds himself in a new place.
Where am I? A second ago I was in a burning building....
Welcome to Heaven. *DING* You've got mail!
Why is a computer in heaven? I better check this E-Mail.
This is the HP. The Heaven Pakard. Just type in what you want, and it will be given to you Peter.
Peter finds himself in a new place.
Wow. I wonder if this thing has Minesweeper on it.
*DING* Marilyn Monroe wants to Instant Message you. Do you accept?

 

by Shadman
9-04-01
Peter finds himself in a new place.
Where am I? A second ago I got into a fight with O.J. Simpson.
Welcome to the realm of the dead!
Here you will walk the earth for all eternity seperated from the realm of the living.
....And you are....??
Remember me? I used to be your pet cat "fluffy" before you forgot to feed me and I died of mal-nurousment. Now I will haunt you forever!

 

by Shadman
9-04-01
A day at Wal Mart
Hi can I help you?
Yes, can you tell me where the akjhdfoiewuaqkljdaf is?
Pardon me? I didn't catch that last part you said.
I said I need to find the akjoiuerere. God! I can't find anything in this store.
Things take a turn for the worse for.

 

by Shadman
9-04-01
A day at Wal Mart
Hi can I help you?
Yes, can you tell me where the akjhdfoiewuaqkljdaf is?
Pardon me? I didn't catch that last part you said.
I said I need to find the akjoiuerere. God! I can't find anything in this store.
Things take a turn for the worse for.

 

by Shadman
9-04-01
A day at Wal Mart
Hi can I help you?
Yes, can you tell me where the akjhdfoiewuaqkljdaf is?
Pardon me? I didn't catch that last part you said.
I said I need to find the akjoiuerere. God! I can't find anything in this store.
Things take a turn for the worse for.
I'm sorry, but you have to speak more clearly. Sorry I can't be as much help to you if you don't speak up.
HEEEEHHHHH. Get me a manger.

 

by Shadman
9-04-01
The Wal Mart Saga continues...
This lady wants to speak with you.
Ok, just show me where she is...
The Manager is in way over his head with the whining bitch.
Damn this bitch is crazy.
bla bla bla....bad service.....bla bla bla.... I can't find anything....bla bla bla...your and asshole.....bla bla bla..... where is the bathroom.....bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
It's times like this I wish I accualy went to college instead of that fake-ass Wal Mart Manager school.
Are you even listening to me?

 

by Shadman
9-04-01
Will this comic ever end???
So we are at agreement then?
Yes. You do this, and I won't call the corporate office on this place.
This is the part of the job I hate..... Oh wait the part of the job I hate is dealing with these fucking bitch customers.
It's time to pay the piper.
*BEEP*
Will Andrew please come to the personel office? Andrew to the personel office.

 

by Shadman
9-04-01
Time to pay the piper. Oops did I already say that? How about, "the bitter punishment". Yeah, that sounds much better.
Sorry, but I have to punish you for what you did.
What? I didn't do anything! I didn't know what she said! How can I be punished for this? This is unfair.
Sorry, Andrew, but its out policy to please the customer to the best of our power. That means I have to tell you to do exactly what she told me to.
What does she want me to do?
First, you have to go out there, bow down and claim her as your one true god. When you are done with that spit-shine her Wal Mart discount shoe wear and claim you are shit. Then your fired.
If you want me I will be writing obsenites on the bathroom wall with my Wal Mart approved Marker.

 

by Shadman
9-04-01
Finally. The end!
Well, I hope you are happy. You got me fired.
I hope this just goes to show you that the customer is always right! HA HA HA. Enjoy unemployment.
You know, since I don't work here I can do whatever I want now you filthy whore. That's right, you fucking skanky bitch.
What do you plan on doing?
And with that the evil bitch who plauged the Wal Mart Employee's was gone forever. Andrew was still fired though.
I never told managment, but I made a rocket out of the spare stuff I found in recieving. Prepare to see what the inside of the sun feels like.
AHHHHHHHH! What did I ever deserve to be treated like this?

 

by Shadman
9-05-01
Hello there, I am here to visit the life on this planet and obtain any information I can come by.
Chink Chank Ching chang.
What the fuck? Don't you speak English?
Ching Chang?
Hello there, I am here to visit the life on this planet and obtain any information I can come by.
Oh, What the fuck is it now?

 

by Shadman
9-05-01
Lets see. I am looking for Chester. Do you know where I can find him?
Hmmm.... I think Chester is out trying to pick up on some chicks.
Chester. You must appear in court for accusations of Child Molestation on October 3rd. Thank You.
Hey. Who the hell do you think you are, anyway? I am not a child molester! Get out of my fucking face, you stupid cock master.
Hey there sweet thing. I got a nice new Barbie doll if you lick my apple-bag for me.
What's an "apple-bag"?

 

by Shadman
9-05-01
Hello. I am from the Planet Uranus. My mission is to obtain any information I can about yout planet.
???
Hello. I am from the Planet Uranus. My mission is to obtain any information I can about yout planet.
???
Hello. I am from the Planet Uranus. My mission is to obtain any information I can about yout planet.
Tonight on Raw, The WWF Champion will put his Title on the line...

 

by Shadman
9-05-01
Chester Molester applies for a new job.
Hello, I am here for my interview for School kindergarden teacher.
Mr. Molester, we are having a few problems with your application. You want to start calling the kindergarten "Chester's Junkpile" if you get the job here?
My motto will be "Get down and dirty in Chester's Junkpile". It sounds catchy, doesn't it?
Well, later in the application it says you worked as a photographer at "Craigs world of child porn and waffles"? That could cause a problem.
All that means is that I have expiereince taking nude pictures, oops, I mean taking care of young children.
You got the job!

 

by Shadman
9-06-01
The Visitor Returns home.
So, how was your exploratoin to Earth?
It was great. I got a device called a COM-POOT-TOR. It will allow us to comunicate with human's from Uranus. Check this shit out.
Wow this thing is great. It says I have an "Instant Message" From an Earthling named "6InchesOfPleasure"!
Do you want to spank my harry ass?
Wow, I never knew Earth could be so interesting.
I shaved my balls this morning. Want me to E-Mail you the picture?

 

by Shadman
9-06-01
Now the Uranus-Sapiens can talk to humans from the comfort of Uranus.
My name is Gork. I am from Uranus.
Hi, my name is Mark, and I think I want to visit Uranus.
Wow, should I send a rocket to pick you up so you can visit?
I got an eight inch rocket right here ready to luanch strait to Uranus, big boy!
Oh, you do? When should I expect you to come?
Give me another 5 minutes.

 

by Shadman
9-06-01
It's Chester's first day at work as a Kindergarten Teacher. Let's see how he is doing...
No, your out! I hit you with the ball! Don't you know the rules to Kick-ball?
I ain't out.... Oh no, here comes the Teacher! We are fucked now!
He comes Chester to break up the scuffle.
Please don't yell.... We were just playing Kick Ball, teacher.
Kick-Ball is way to violent of a game. I don't condone with the kicking of balls? How about we play a game where we are nice to the balls?
All in all it's a good first day for Chester.
What kind of game do you have in mind, Mr. Molester?
Well, let me get my balls out and we can play a nice game of Massage The Balls. Sound good?

 

by Shadman
9-06-01
Chester decides to have one of the girls from his class make lunch today. How sweet!
What would you like me to do first Mr. Molester?
Well, you could get started by tossing my salad.
Well, what am I going to eat?
Once you are done tossing my salad, I promise I will have a nice Wiener for you to gobble. Would you like to gobble the wiener?
For desert may I have something with nuts on it?
Only if that happens to be your chin!

 

by Shadman
9-06-01
I am really starting to get the hang of this WEB BROWSER thing-a-ma-bob!
**Click here to see Donna get mounted by her own Dalmation!**
Wow, I didn't know earthlings got down like that!
*Oh SPOT! Bad DOG....BAD DOG!*
Holy shit, I need a dog!
*I know someone who isn't getting a dog biscut!*

 

by Shadman
9-06-01
The Visitor gets ready for his next mission.
I need you do go on another mission and bring me back a dog!
You got it your High and Allmighty King of Uranus!
Ready My Rocket to Earth!
And with that The Visitor returns to earth with a new mission
LIFT OFF!
WHOOOSH

 

by Shadman
9-06-01
The Visitor is on his merry way to fullfilling his second mission to earth.
Your a dog aren't you.... I have orders to take you back with me to Uranus.
Squeek Squeek
Seriously. Get in the fucking Rocket and there won't be a problem.
Squeek Squeek
Ok, mother fucker. You want to do this the hard way? Get in the fucking rocket or I will blast your mother fucking head off, you piece of shit!
Squeek Squeek?

 

by Shadman
9-06-01
I have returned with your Dog. My mission has been accomplished.
Excellent.
Welcome to Uranus. Would you like to mount me? Bad dog! Bad Dog! Hey, why aren't you mounting me?
Squeek Squeek?
Don't want to cooperate? Well fuck you then!

 

by Shadman
9-07-01
The Visitor starts his newest mission
My new mission is to find one "Calito Blades" and give him an anal probe. Anal probes rock the party that rock the body.
I am Mr. Blades. How can I help you?
Bend over so I can stick this anal probe up your ass and relay the informatoin back to my home planet, Uranus.
Dude that's fucked up. I don't want that up my ass, but I know someone who might want it... His name is AF.
Where do I find this AF?
Do you know where Canada is?

 

by Shadman
9-07-01
The Visitor finds the strange land called "Canada".
Are you the one known as AF?
Yes, that is me. What do you want from me?
I am here to anal probe you. Bend over and let me stick this probe in your ass.
Goddammit. I don't want anything up my ass. What information can you possibly get from sticking that thing in my rectum?
This comic has been brought to you from the mind of Carlito Blade's. It's still a Dan The Man production.
There's only one way to find out. Drop your pants now, earthling!
Ok, but hurry up. Hockey practice is in 15 minutes.

 

by Shadman
9-07-01
Yes it would be great if I could meet you.
Good, I have some anal-nitrate and 6 inches of pure pleasure for you. What do you look like and how big is your dick again?
Well, I am 5 feet tall. Grey all over. Big Black eyes, and no hair. My species does not have a penis. Instead we urinate out of out mouths and poop out out noses.
Wow, you have it rough buddy...
Damn, this guy is fucked up!
We reproduce with our feet...

 

by Shadman
9-07-01
Damn, I can't believe you did this to me!
Are you having second thoughts about your transformation?
I know you want me to go and kill the president, but I don't think he will be that scared of a giant fly.
Well we can try something else....
Please don't mind this comic...I know it sucks....It will lead somewhere though.. Don't worry.
Ok, asshole. This is one big joke to you isn't it?
If you don't like this I have a program that can turn you into a giant Shih-tzu...

 

by Shadman
9-07-01
What's my mission? Go kill the president?
Exactly. But first you must aquire a gun. I know just the place to go find one....
Welcome to Wal-Mart. What can I help you with?
Where are the guns?
Guns are over in sporting goods, but you need a hunting liscence
You don't understand. I am a mutant bunny. I don't need a liscence. NOW GIVE ME A FUCKING GUN!

 

by Shadman
9-07-01
Heh Heh Heh. Now it's time to kill the president!
Excuse me, but do you know where I can find the president? I wish to kill him.
Finally. Someone with some balls to kill this mother fucker off. He is right inside the white house. You can't miss him.
A little block in the road, but This sick fucker is determined to find his prey.
Your doomed Mr. President!
I'm just here on the tour, I really don't know where the president is, you sick fuck.

 

by Shadman
9-08-01
Hello, I am the founder of Wal Mart, Sam Walton. I am just a good old fashoin guy with old fashion values.
Your a fucking redneck!
My goal is to bring the customer some good old fashion values and save you a couple of dollars.
Your still a fucking redneck.
Who do you think your talking to like that? Do you know who I am?
Yeah, your a fucking redneck. Don't you fucking listen?

 

by Shadman
9-08-01
I am Sam Walton. King of all Wal Marts in the world. I am worth over a billion dollars!
What do you want a meadal, you fucking redneck?
All I want is some respect! It's me who brings you those good old fashion values.
I'm on to you. I know your nothing more than a con-man. I know you are in the grand wizard of the KKK. Yeah, that's right con-man. I am on to your conspiracy!
I think I liked "Fucking Redneck" better...
Oh, your still a fucking redneck....Nothing can change that, fuck face.

 

by Shadman
9-08-01
The sick cat-loving fag decides to have some fun with the internet sicko's.
Right now I am petting my pussy.
Kewl.
The internet sicko obviously falls for the cat loving fag's trick.
I am rubbing it's soft skin.
Holy shit, this chick is sick!
Meanwhile, the conversation is monitored...
Holy shit this is some good stuff.
Would you like to come over and pet my pussy?

 

by Shadman
9-08-01
Hello, I am Sam Walton. I own this store!
Who the fuck is this guy?
Well, don't you want to welcome the guy who signs your paychecks? The guy who gave you your job? The Walton who put the Wal in Wal-Mart?
Hold on, let me get a manager.
I'm telling you, hiring that actor to play me in the Wal Mart Training video's was a bad idea...
Hi, can you tell me where I can find Pussy Food?

 

by Shadman
9-08-01
Author's note: The last few comics didn't make too much sence. You know, the ones with Sam Walton...
What? I don't understand....
You see, Sam Walton is dead!
Wha...?
I'm afraid it's true sir.
May he rest in peace...
Oh well, at least I brought the people good merchandise at reasonable prices while I was alive.
Wanna pet my pussy?

 

by Shadman
9-08-01
To understand this comic you must know that Bilbo works at a pet store...
Hi, I am Bilbo. How may I help you?
I need to find some things for my pussy.
What are you looking for?
I need to find some things for my pussy.
Hi, I am Bilbo. How may I help you?
I need to find some things for my pussy.

 

by Shadman
9-08-01
To understand this comic you must know that Bilbo works at a pet store...
Hi, I am Bilbo. How may I help you?
I need to find some things for my pussy.
What are you looking for?
Just something to put in my pussy
What are you, some kind of sick fuck?
All I want is some pussy food! That is all I want.

 

by Shadman
9-08-01
Heh Heh Heh. This is going to great!
*RING* *RING*
Hello?
Hi, I am calling from Sears installation. Is your refrigorator running?
Yes.
Well then you better go eat a dick! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

 

by Shadman
9-08-01
*RING* *RING*
This is going to be better than the last one!
Hello?
Hi, I am calling from Sears installation. Is your refrigorator running?
Bilbo isn't very bright, is he?
Didn't you just call here 2 minutes ago and ask me the same thing?
Well you better go fuck you mother! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

 

by Shadman
9-08-01
Dan's Comic seems not to be up to his standard....
Hey, boy. Would you like a peanut?
Please.
Hmmm...How can I make this funnier?
In the end he figured out what to do...
Hey, you fat mother fucker. Do you want a damn peanut, you son of a whore?
Don't make me stick this trunk up your fat ass, bitch!

 

by Shadman
9-08-01
*RING*
They won't know what's going on!
Hell, Pet Store. How may I help you?
Yes..he he... Do you sell Bat Food?
Yes, I know this is really immature.... But it REALLY HAPPENED!!!!!
No, sorry, we don't sell bat food...
What you mother fuckers? Why don't you fucking sell bat food you assholes! FUCK YOU!

 

by Shadman
9-08-01
Hi, I am Dan The Man A.K.A. Shadman. I am here to apologize for a comic I made a couple days ago...
www.Stripcreator.com
The comic featured a Mutant Bunny and a Mad Scientist who plotted to kill the president. This just plain sucked, and I apologize for it.
Yeah, we suck. Sorry about that.
I sincerly apologize for wasting your time. I'm sorry for sucking so goddamn badly.
Maybe I should have put more thought into that whole killing the President Comic Strip idea...
Hey, make some more comics about Child Molesting!

 

by Shadman
9-08-01
I bet the readers of this comic would love some hot Asian lesbo action...
This other Chinise chick is really turning me on.

 

by Shadman
9-08-01
Welcome to the MTV Video music awards! We have a special night for you tonight. And now N-Sync!!!!
Hello, we are N-Sync. Here is a special Live song!
STOP THE SINGING! STOP THE SINGING!
YEAHHHH YEAHHHH! Don't you love the way I shake my rump! POP!

 

by Shadman
9-08-01
Hello, we are N-Sync. Thank you for this Video Music Award.
We would like to thank our dancinc insturctor, out make up artists, and the guy who clips all our toe nails! YAY!
I still can't believe my son's band got this famous. I am so proud.
We would also like to thank Satan...

 

by Shadman
9-10-01
Now class, today I am going to teach what you do if you see a stranger. If he offers you candy take it. No Matter what! Free candy is the best kind of candy!
The stranger may ask you to do things your not comfortable with, but in the long run it's always worth it. Hey, here comes a stranger now!
Hey kids. I have some candy in my camaro down stairs. Want some?
Now class, I want you to practice what I taught you today...

 

by Shadman
9-10-01
I can't beleive not one of my students went with you.
Yeah, it really sucked. You told me you broke these kid's spirits already!
Thier parents must have taught them about taking candy from strangers.
Hey, we had a deal! You said I was gonna get some 5 year old ass today!
It's not my fucking fault! Maybe you should have worn deodorant and the kids wouldn't have been so scared when you invented "hug the stranger time."
I guess its a good thing I didn't really have candy in my car then.

 

by Shadman
9-11-01
Ready?
Ready.
Go!
Heh heh heh....
I think I have been tricked

 

by Shadman
9-11-01
Purgatory sucks.
Oh, will you shut the fuck up?

Showing page 1.

Next »