All comics by dr_dos0016

 

by dr_dos0016
10-30-02
At last, America, the land of the free!
Aw, fuck it's Bruce Wayne. I'm outta here!
Yet another alien at the white house huh?
Please! Don't send me to Uranus!
Yer comin with me pilgrim
I can't even work at McDonalds?! No wonder we hate you!

 

by dr_dos0016
10-30-02
So you are from Uranus?
Yes, I have some pictures if you'd like them.
Uranus is very nice.
It is the gas giant.
I'd imagine it being a gas giant.
Like you wouldn't believe...

 

by dr_dos0016
10-30-02
Did I just clone myself?
Did I just clone myself?
No wait! I just made an ugly little man!
I am you in the reverse universe
I hate when American comics change ideas every panel.
My family has lost the sacred potato.

 

by dr_dos0016
10-30-02
I have LSD
I have ADD
What's ADD stand for?
I think it stands for...
Attention Deficit... LET'S GO RIDE BIKES!

 

by dr_dos0016
10-31-02
that squirrel looks tasty
that guy is looking at me funny
you like stuff
click click knock knock
I'm gona eat you buddy
oh poopoo

 

by dr_dos0016
11-01-02
Hey, you must be the guy who's gonna hang my 30 posters.
Put em' on that wall over there
Damn, why does everybody kill themselves in my room?

 

by dr_dos0016
11-01-02
Study's show that nails in you head are bad for your health!
I must tell father!
Mother? Where is father?
Outside building a fence
I am too late.
Wanna nail in your head too?

 

by dr_dos0016
11-15-02
I am Benji
We abduct the dumbest people in the galaxy
Suddenly the Gamma Velorum Chumble Spuzzes!
Sir! The Gamma Velorum has gone Chumble Spuzz!
I, General Osmoc demand that this is fixed
I just defrabblesnorkified your Gamma Velorum. It just need a Merbotian Koopo.
You suck!

 

by dr_dos0016
11-15-02
I, General Osmoc, demand to see the one who gave our Gamma Velorum a Merbotian Koopo.
Hail our great General Osmoc!
Greetings, it appears our cultre has misjudged yours. I am General Osmoc!
What's that button do?
It appears I General Osmoc has become a computer!

 

by dr_dos0016
11-15-02
Free computer. This with some modifications can really rock,
I will now format your memory!
I'm afraid I can't let you do that
So you're an alien transformed into a computer due to a British police officer pressing a button? What do you want to do now?
Would you like to play a game?

 

by dr_dos0016
11-15-02
What games can we play?
We can play Tic-Tac-Toe, Chess, or Global Thermonuclear War
Let's play Chess. I'm pretty good at that.
Wouldn't you prefer a nice game of Global Thermonuclear War?
This reminds me of a movie I once saw, where a computer nearly started World War 3 by playing GTN War.
Chess it is then. Good luck

 

by dr_dos0016
11-15-02
I'll move my far left pawn two spaces.
You have moved. I will be moving in 14 hours 32 minutes. Estemated casualties 5,000,000
Well now. Looks like I have to abort the game. I can't let you kill 5,000,000 people
To abort please disconnect "Chess Master, World Domination Edition Cable from Mainframe in Hackensack New Jersery."
Meanwhile at NORAD
Sir, I, George W. Bush demand you find out who is playing Chess Master, World Domination Edition.
Look I'm here to plant a bomb, get the DefCon up to 5 and watch your country go to hell. So forget it!

 

by dr_dos0016
11-16-02
At NORAD our robotic president is trying to solve the mystery
Esqueeze me. Mesa GeorgeGeorge Bush. Mesa need to find Chess Master.
Right this way sir.
Meanwhile that kid has gone to Hackensack New Jersey
This Chess Master cable, it has been in my basement. I've been stealing the government's bandwith with it to gain free DSL. I can't let you remove it.
Uh, maybe you don't understand how 5 million people will die if you don't let me do this. That includes you.
It won't affect me, I have a +4 ring of radiation resistance, and recently acquired the Blessed Ring of Heat and Fire Immunity from E-bay.
You don't get out much do you?

 

by dr_dos0016
11-16-02
In NORAD...
Hmmm so this is the Chess Master game. Ooh! I can use my rook to kill the bishop!
Meanwhile in Russia...
HOLY Shi... er... HOLY WATER! I'm gonna die!
And now to Hackensack
I will allow you to disconnect the Chess Master if you beat me in a game.
As long as it's not Chess Master Global Thermonuclear War Edition.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-16-02
The psycho has agreed to let that guy cut the cable if he wins in AD&D. Let's watch...
Your Human Paladin encounters a skeleton.
I use my +4 Sword of the Undead.
You have been promoted to Level 4. Select a skill from the official skills list.
I'll take the skill of "Kill anything that comes within 100 ft. of me instantly and permanently."
I never realized that was a skill.
Well I did. Also notice that male Ogres who have a strengh of 12 or more and are berserkers gain the ability "Penis Crush"

 

by dr_dos0016
11-16-02
Boy I wish I could lose weight and still eat my tomato sandwiches.
Well Tubbo now you can! Introducing the new Eraser diet.
How does this revolutionary product work?
Well Tubbo I'll set this Eraser summoner to Max weight removal and let you activate. You'll be virtually nothing in seconds!
And I can still enjoy my sandwich.
WOW! Now that's results!

 

by dr_dos0016
11-16-02
HAHAHA you suck!
So you beat me with pen and paper RPGs. Now in one hour we will meet in the park for a game of REAL Neverwinter Nights, I might add the park is a Player Vs. Player Zone. I'll meet you there.
He stands no chance now!

 

by dr_dos0016
11-16-02
This is what I've been looking for? Looks like a phone.
Back in that guy's room...
I General Osmoc have been retured to my former self.
And at NORAD
I, your robotic president George W. Bush have saved the world by taking out that bishop!
Actually somebody cut the cord,but who really cares?

 

by dr_dos0016
11-16-02
Hmmm... that AD&D player isn't showing for RNWN! I think I'll practice until he comes.
I have encountered a rabbit. No sweat. I'm not wasting my time.
Oh, he knows I could kick his ass.
Finally sometinhg more of a challenge.
Say your prayers mate.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-17-02
Today on Talk with Tina, I will go undercover as a slut to discover what men would do with me.
Wanna have some hot sex for free?
To touch her boob or not to touch her boobs...
He was kind of cute and needless to say, I'm pregnant.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-17-02
After the show...
You're pregnant! How? You gave me a condom.
I guess it failed. Although I've never had this problem with Trojan condoms.
Well, that explains everything.
How so?
The Torjan horse was a trick, that entered the fortress and broke open sending hundreds of soldiers everywhere.
Ok

 

by dr_dos0016
11-17-02
Back at that guy's house (who will now be known as Kevin)
Don't worry. I know it's confusing but I rented a video to help us.
I don't trust this...
Well I'm going to watch it.
So you're going to have an accidential child.
The video...
Honey, I'm going to have a baby.
WHAT!

 

by dr_dos0016
11-17-02
I can't believe I'm going to be a father!
You might not be the father.
What?
I has sex with some other guy before you. It's on the unedited tape. Watch!
The tape reveals...
Wanna have sex?
Sure, I'm dressed for the occasion.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-17-02
Kevin continues watching the tape.
Hey, want some hot hardcore love makin?
Hell yeah!
I've never had hot hardcore love making with a shemale before.
Did that make me straight or a lesbian?
Want some erotic entertainment?
I,General Osmoc, am quite aroused by that. Yes, permission granted.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-17-02
Well, I finished the tape.
You watched all of it?
Of course, now either your child will be normal, a demon, a she-male, or an alien!
Oh, so you didn't see the part where I gave the squirell some action with his nuts.
Between living with you and that she-male, I'd take the she-male.
Well I'll have you know that the squirrel was better than you!

 

by dr_dos0016
11-18-02
Woah, somebody's selling Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and it's only $5!
Ugh, that game is the most violent thing ever.
Ha! Look at the name of the retart who's selling it, "Queen-B-Eauty".
Uh, I'm selling that piece of garbage.
Why are you selling it? Trying to buy that squirrel you love back with a bag of nuts?
I think I use the money to buy a brick and throw it at you.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-18-02
I'll show him a thing or two!
Woo, burning PC smells funny.
What's the matter with you?
I think I got high on the fumes.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-19-02
How could you? How could you burn my computer?
I just poured on some gasoline and tossed the match.
There's only one thing to do in a time like this.
Make love on the bed?
To the computer store!
All right! I'll get some gas and matches and my hippie clothes!

 

by dr_dos0016
11-19-02
At the computer store "Sir-Rams-Alot"
I'm looking for a P4 3.3Ghz with an 80GB hard drive and a GeForce 4.
Well sir, I can give you that. Lotsa ram too, I got a LOT of ram. For I am Elmo, president of Sir-Rams-Alot.
Want some ram?
That sounds really gay.
Suddenly Kevin commits a fatal mistake!
My floppy drive became a hard drive when I saw you.
Where is Tina? Oh, boy. I probably shouldn't let my ass face Sir-Rams-Alot.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-19-02
Hello, I'm Tina, I've been burning computers and getting high off the fumes.
I'm mad. I'm Tom. Call me MadTom.
You are a very ugly girl Tina.
No, I usually wear women's clothing. This is my "getting high off of odd things" uniform.
If you want to get high on odd things or do drugs, I'll take you to "The Hippies Joint"
Ok, but if we have sex it's becuase I'm pretty much a slut not that I have feelings for you.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-19-02
Here we are, let me introduce you to my friend Alastair.
Ok, but I can't get high, I changed into womens clothing.
Yeah, I'm Alastair.
I can tell when a guy is mentally undressing by the look in his eyes.
And you wonder why I wear these sunglasses.
No comment

 

by dr_dos0016
11-19-02
Well, I hope your happy! Get me arrested because some undercover cop busted everybody.
Don't worry Satan should save us.
Kevin! Get me out of here! I'm stuck in here with a hippie Satanist!
Uh, if you haven't noticed I really don't like you. I just came to laugh at you.
You again! At least that James fellow is not. I will be releasing you all now.
Satan? I never thought you'd be so short.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-19-02
So, you have a TV show?
Yeah, Talk with Tina. It's not going to well though. The ratings shot through the roof when I brought the guy who got me pregnant on.
Although I'm still not sure who the real father is.
I see. Mind if I see if your "milk despensers" are working properly?
I'll let you if I can can lick the stick.
Nobody can touch my stick on my pitchfork, oh, that stick, nice.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-19-02
Kevy?
Please let that be my imagination...
Kevin, I'm pregnant... again.
Who'd you screw now? That MadTom guy from Sir-Rams-Alot?
I laid Satan. And what happened with you and "Sir Rams-Alot"?
I'd rather not say.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-19-02
9 months later...
I'm so happy! The birth went well, and all the kids are healthy, if a bit ugly.
I would have come,but I had to play a Starcraft tournament.
By the way, you never told me who is the father.
You are.
Thank god no squirrel child running around.
Along with the demon, alien,squirrel, Satan, and somehow the shemale. They all take after the father, and the shemale baby does to.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-20-02
Kevin? I need you to give the kids a bath. Somehow make it an educational one.
I hope Kev grows up hating you as much as I do.
Osmoc Jr. go get everybody, it's bath time.
Yes daddy.
After the bath
What did the kids learn today?
I taught the kids why our she-male, Arron, has both a pee-pee and a hoo-hoo.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-20-02
You taught the kids about transvesites!
Well, it's not my fault Nutty, the SQUIRREL CHILD, was very interested in Arron's pee-pee and hoo-hoo.
Well you idiot you LIE to them!
Well, I did lie when Osmoc Jr. asked why his pee-pee gets stiff sometimes.
What did you tell him?
I said it means that your mother is a slut.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-20-02
After all these comics involving me and Tina only, I decided to go out on the town. With Osmoc Jr. of course.
I need ta tinkle, daddy.
Uh, go in the one that says boys.
Okay!
In the bathrooms
Excuse me, this is the alien's bathroom right?
I General Osmoc would say,yes, it... oh, oh boy, I must've gotten that girl pregnant!

 

by dr_dos0016
11-20-02
What's wrong with your wife? I had no idea I had a child.
She's not my wife.
Well, I believe I deserve custody of the child. I will take this to the higest court in the land!
I'm not going to court and there's nothing you can do to make me.
I'd bitch slap you, but being straight and a man I'll have to bastard slap you.
Stay back! I'm a gamer, I can't fight, just blow up space colonies and such.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-20-02
I have some bad news for you Tina, and it's also good news to me since I hate you.
What? Some alien abducted Osmoc Jr? Hah!
News travels fast through the internet.
Oh fuck, General Osmoc right? I need custody of this kid, and there's a way you can help me.
Will you marry me?
This is not the Drew Carey show, it doesn't work that way...

 

by dr_dos0016
11-21-02
It's me Dr. Dos, I wanted to leave my normal comic alone for a while, and read some fan mail.
Dear Dr. Dos, I love with with all of my body (even my pee-pee)
Not any more!

 

by dr_dos0016
11-21-02
Hang on a minute! What do you want?
Hello? Hello? Anybody home?
Oh my god, Butch, it's you...
here I brought these for you.
What do you want?
I want to get back together, marry again...

 

by dr_dos0016
11-21-02
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seekkekeke gih w wioghwegoihw euw

 

by dr_dos0016
11-22-02
Note to readers... Osmoc's wanting his child is gone. Butch, may be too. Anyways at a singles bar...
Hey sexy.
Hi hottie.
Wanna go to my place tonight?
Wait a minute, you know Tina, you're the she-male aren't you?
That's my idenitcal twin sister who slept with the bitch Tina.
I'm going to score tonight! Too bad I'll be too drunk to remember it.

 

by dr_dos0016
11-22-02
The next morning...
You were the best last night.
There was only my penis in bed right?
Of course I'm not totally identical to my sister.
Thank god.
Back at Kevin's House...
Uh, Kevin, I'm pregnant
Suicide is painless,suicide is painless,suicide is painless,suicide is painless...

 

by dr_dos0016
11-24-02
Suicide is painless, suicide is painless, suicide is painless, suicide is painless, suicide is painless.
What's wrong? You look depressed.
Suicide is painless, suicide is painless, suicide is painless, suicide is painless, suicide is painless.
Kevin, you know you can tell me whatevers on your mind. Now what's wrong?
Suicide is painless.
See, don't you feel better about letting that out?

 

by dr_dos0016
11-24-02
Don't be talking like that.
Tina? Why are you a clown?
I'm not a clown! Silly rabbit, how could you get so confused?
Rabbit? I'm not a rabbit.
Are you feeling alright?
I tawt I taw a putty tat. I mean, is this a dream?

 

by dr_dos0016
11-29-02
Think you can handle the extreme under pressure correctly? Well, you're wrong. Find out how to save your butt for real on "Worst Case Sceanario"
Oh, I love this show!
This show helps you in case of a crisis! It's practically a public service on cable.
Today on "Worst Case Scenario" what to do if you're fishing on river, that happens to lead to a waterfall filled with 14 tons of deadly dynamite and broken glass!
I think I should take notes, this might happen to me when I'm fishing in Canada near Niagra Falls when I get the money...

 

by dr_dos0016
11-29-02
Guess what I know how to do!
Besides having kids?
I know how to survive going over a waterfall filled with 14 tons of dynamite and broken glass when I'm in a fishing boat!
You watch that "Worst Case Scenario" show? Name the most likely thing on that show that you used to save yourself from anything!
Well, on Thanksgiving when I blew up the turkey I knew how to make a turkey meat substitute using only pipecleaner, vinegar, lots of red wine, and lard
I'm gonna vomit now...

 

by dr_dos0016
11-29-02
Worst Case Scenario, this is pathetic, there's not one reason why I should watch you.
In fact, I'm leaving the room right now.
Next on Worst Case Scenario, what to do if a girl you had sex with had tons of kids who aren't even human and lives with you.
I should be taping this...

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