All comics by shohmyoh

 

by shohmyoh
5-17-04
Hey man what are you doing up there?
I said I was the son of God and the Romans put me up here.
No wonder they put you up there, that sounds like a big load of crap. By the way does it hurt hanging up there?
Only as much as you think it would hurt getting nail through your hands and feet
That must suck.
it's not too bad. It might hurt but not as much as you will be hurting when you're burning in Hell

 

by shohmyoh
5-17-04
Oh shit I died without repenting. Now I'm doomed to live the rest of my life suffering in hell.
Hey come on, it's not so bad. You lived in sin on earth now you still get to enjoy it.
hmmmmmm. That sounds ok. I liked stuff like gambling killing, fucking, getting drunk and countless other things when I was alive
Well you still get to enjoy that stuff down here plus don't forget the gay orgies we have.
ummmm I wasn't gay Mr. Demon
Oh shit, really? Man you're going to hate the weekend.

 

by shohmyoh
5-17-04
Hey Billy. I think you spend to much time on the computer.
hmmmmmm.
Anyway, I'm going to go play baseball. You can find me in Verdun it's a few miles west of here.
hmmmmmmm.
A few weeks you didn't know cause you've been on that computer all day long
Hey Justin wai-- Holy Shit how long has he been dead like that.

 

by shohmyoh
5-17-04
Sometimes I like to come to the park and think about life. Why are we here? What is the point of life? What do I want to be when I grow up? you know stuff like that.
............
I'm also thinking about why that Squirrel is turning me on.

 

by shohmyoh
5-17-04
Oh man that kid crying is driving me nuts!
WAHHHHHHHH!!!!
WAHHHHHHHH!!!!
That's much better.

 

by shohmyoh
5-17-04
Hey Cera did you go to Meg's party last night?
Yeah but I left before the Pachycephalosaurus drowned in her Tar pit she calls her hot tub. Anyway I've gotta get back to my cubicle
Oh hello Boss.
Hi Rex have you-- "Sniff" oh Man I told Cera to stop smoking in the office.
Cera's position is now extinct
CERA YOU'RE FIRED!!

 

by shohmyoh
5-17-04
God is the true creator of everything.
No Satan is.
No God is
no it's Satan
Wrong you Fools. I Zeus live on Mount Olympus and I created Everything.
Thanks Zeus
Thanks Zeus

 

by shohmyoh
5-17-04
Yo baby what's shakin'
ummm. My mommy said not to talk to strangers.
This girl will be hard to get. I know, I’ll use my secret weapon.
My momy says I should kick them where it hurts, and tell a police man or teacher about them.
I have candy and kittens in my car.
Kittens are cuddly and candy is tasty. O.K. lets go mister.

 

by shohmyoh
5-17-04
Hey I was in the tundra in only my T-shirt. Can I use you to warm up?
GO ahead man
1 hour later
This is nice some of the ice is starting to melt. I can wiggle my toes again.
Yeah
12 hours later
Thanks a lot you should have warned me that I would melt into mush.
That's because I'm fire, and fire is hot you fucking dipshit.

 

by shohmyoh
5-17-04
Welcome to Silly food, where all kinds of silly stuff can happen. May I take your order?
Can I have the happy Hamburger?
Sure that will be $3.00. Would u like any Toppings on that?
Mayo, Ketchup, and Lettuce please.
ARGHH!! I hate giving people ketchup. I wish I was putting the "Mayo" on the burger.
Tee Hee The ketchup come from your head, that is so silly. Ha ha ha. Hey wait a minute what to you mean you'd rather put the Mayo on?

 

by shohmyoh
5-18-04
This isn't good
This plane is going down and I still haven't had sex. This is good I can definitely score now. People usually look really hot in life threatening situations.
Hey baby since we are both going to die in a minute or so. WANNA DO IT.
OH GOD YES!!

 

by shohmyoh
5-18-04
I hate the circus.
Ditto

 

by shohmyoh
5-18-04
Hey Robot can you please reattach my arm?
God Damn Humans. Bunch of bastards. NO I WON'T REATTACH YOUR ARM!! I'm glad you guys fucked up and Y3K happened
You guys disserve this nuclear wasteland. I worked my claws to the circuit and what did I get out of the deal huh... Nothing not even a God damn oil change once in a while you fucking pricks.
Screw you then. I'll go do it myself.
Please come back... I'm so lonely.

 

by shohmyoh
5-18-04
Merry Christmas Tom.
How can you Celebrate Christmas when the world could end at any moment?
C'mon tom in our 5 years of marriage you've never been right once. World ending at any moment that's so unlikely... WHOALY SHIT!!!
WOAH!!!
Oh my God. Life is over then end of the world has happened. Death will probably take us soon. How can you be so happy right now?
YESS!!! I was right, I was right, I was right. For ONCE in 5 years I'm right!!

 

by shohmyoh
5-18-04
What the fuck am I doing?

 

by shohmyoh
5-18-04
Dear me I seem to be lost. Maybe this nice young man will help me?
Hey baby are you here for the corpse orgy?
Corpse orgy?
Yeah some buds and I dig up some graves. Then we each pick a coffin and open it up and fuck whoever's inside. It's a mystery until the box is open.
I'm not here for that. I'm looking for the church so I can do my confessions.
That's sorta the same thing isn't it? Except the difference is you go in a box and only get fucked if you're an Altar boy.

 

by shohmyoh
5-31-04
I'm wearing this suit to protect my brain. The Iluminaty will use their special space rays and read my mind if I don't. They have the power and they will kill me if they find out what I know.
I know about their secret socieity. They are connected with the Knights of Templar. That's what their 7'th sect is, they have called in that. They worship a black stone in the middle of a pentagram
They do this cause they worship the devil. They are satanic and they will enslave us all. They will read all of our minds. They are using the TV to know what we -----
Can I have a blowjob?

 

by shohmyoh
5-31-04
Hmmmm... He looks dead.
He also looks fucking Ugly.

 

by shohmyoh
5-31-04
Oh hello Lenny how was the service.
It was fine father. I must be a strong beliver because the wine actually tasted like blood. Also the crackers had a bit of a meaty taste to them.
I knew that was a good way to get rid of that body.

 

by shohmyoh
6-01-04
Hey it's 3:17 am right now.
I know.
I don't have a clue what I should write right now?
Me to. Wanna go to bed?
ok. This puts me to bed quickly ARGH Passing out from lack of blood.
It looks painful and it is very painful but it does work. I've tryed it. Well Good Night everyone.

 

by shohmyoh
6-02-04
Someone once asked me what do I find sexier a sheep or a goat. After much contemplation I would have to say a sheep.
A sheep's wool is really soft and you can get a big handful for leverage. Also a sheep's body temperature is 4 degrees warmer then a human's.
And a goat... Well a goat is sexy and all. But they can chew through tin cans and you don't want to be messing with that shit.

 

by shohmyoh
6-09-04
Hey sheep I know I said I perfered you to goats but I found out that If an animal humps your leg it's viewed as ok. But if you hump an animal it's concidered beasitality, and you go to jail.
BBBBAAAAAA!
So I guess it's ok for an animal to have sex with you as long as they don't penetrate you. Sorry Sheep I don't like getting my leg humped.
BAAA!
So does that mean if I get a monkey and it's gives me a hand job it's considered ok. I mean it's the monkey's doing, plus they arn't penetrating me and I'm not penetrating it.

 

by shohmyoh
6-09-04
Oh man this computer rules. I can play games and E-mail, and surf the net, and Instant message my friends, Plus I can use it to help me write essays for school.
This computer isn't that good. I feel riped off. All I can do is play games. This computer sucks.
That's because your using a PS2 you idiot.
Ohhh

 

by shohmyoh
6-09-04
I hate the Mafia.

 

by shohmyoh
6-09-04
Did you hear about Jill at work. She wouldn't have sex with me at the Christmas party.
Vincent no one will ever have sex with you. Your a eunuch remember. Black Queen takes white knight and check-mate.
Bitch!

 

by shohmyoh
6-21-04
Damn Monkey.
Now we're out of fuel and stuck here.
I told you that their were no Gas stations on the moon.

 

by shohmyoh
6-21-04
Hey Ho, ya gotta wash that cunt o yo's. I can smell it from here. Go Douche it.
I would douch it but you won't buy me any douches.
That smell is bad for bizznas. Just use the public douches by the washrooms in the mall.
You mean the drinking fountains?
Shi' I always thought they was douches. Ma Ho's have been using em for years.
That God I was never a mall rat.

 

by shohmyoh
6-21-04
May I take your order?
Ya I'll take a hambur--- Holy Shit you were in that movie "Good burger"?
Yes but it bombed and I have to work here to make a living wage sorta.
Wow you must be living a dream now. Well get me a Hamburger, you ass hole.
I hate this job.
Thanks for the burger ass hole. Your movies suck

 

by shohmyoh
7-01-04
Dear stick man: almost every comic creator here loves you. Could u please do that funny thing everyone seems to make you do? Have a nice day.
Fucking fans.
ARRRGHHHHH!!!!

 

by shohmyoh
7-18-04
I have a job working on the phone all day. It's not so bad untill you get people that can't speak english.
Hi this is Shohmyoh calling is Mr. X there?
Yes. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. No.
I've got no problem with Multiculturalism but if you live in a new country can you try and learn the primary Language.
Ummmm. O.K. So Mr. X isn't there?
No. No. Yes. Yes. No.
I tend to get a few people like this per day. PEOPLE IF YOU'RE GOING TO COME TO A NEW COUNTRY LEARN THE DAMN LANGUAGE
ummmm ok I guess. We'll call back later then. Good bye. **Click**
Yes. No. No. Yes. Bye bye. **Click**

 

by shohmyoh
7-18-04
God the internet is so boring...
It's like T.V. millions of chanels and nothing is ever on. Wait a minute what am I saying. I can just go to www.rammingtrannyfanny.com
Oh baby hot tranny action. Looks like it's time to pet the bunny Tee Hee

 

by shohmyoh
7-18-04
Hi Frosty what are you doing here?
Just thought I'd make your christmas a little more special by helping you open your presents.
Wow frosty you're the best.
Well you know, I help when I can.
Too bad The girl didn't know how to turn off the Heat to The house.
Thanks a lot Frosty you melted and ruined my electronic presents. You fucking suck. I hate you, I FUCKING HATE YOU.

 

by shohmyoh
7-21-04
What did you think of Father Martin's service?
ummm I'm not to sure... I fell asleep ten minutes into it.
Oh dear, You should go repent for that sin quickly, before God sends his wrath apon you!
Yeah in a minute sister I have to ask---
Oh no, you didn't do it fast enough now look what God did to you.
AAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!

 

by shohmyoh
7-21-04
Ha Ha Ha, old fool you have died and have never asked Jesus into your heart now you will suffer forever HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
Yeah I never did because I always thought that the bible was a load of shit. I thought that you would die and that would be the end of you and that scared the shit outta me.
HA HA HA HA errrr what--
Come to think of it now that I'm dead and I know there is an afterlife it's comforting to know death isn't the end. An eternity of pain and suffering is better then just having my life force stop.
God should have thought of a better punishment to free thinkers then to send them here.
I may be in hell but I feel so much better now that I know that I will live forever.

 

by shohmyoh
7-21-04
Wow nothing on my e-mail account but spam for, Porn, Increase my penis size, Ejaculate 500% more, Get out of debt, Get an Education, Hot chicks on cam, etc, etc.
I do like porn, I do want a bigger penis, I do want to cum more, I do want to get out of debt, I do want a better education, and I do like seeing girls on webcams.
I know all this spam is just junk, but it's nice to think that someone cares for a loner like me.

 

by shohmyoh
7-21-04
Wow look at all the paramedic Units.
Yeah, Who knew that when I droped the Piano on my brother he would crush like that?

 

by shohmyoh
7-21-04
Wow I didn't know japanese porn was so fucked up.
Akira no baka, Akira no baka, Akira no baka.
Holy shit he's wraping a rope around her tits and hanging her by them, Oh man her boobs are turning purple. I wonder why the Vag hair has a blurry Mosiac over it.
ahhhh, Itai, Itai!
I guess they don't want to offend anyone.
Itai, Akira Itai Itai!!!

 

by shohmyoh
7-21-04
Did you know that sperm has lots of pheromones in it? Pheromones are used to attract members of the opposite sex.
Now I know how to get lucky on this blind date tonight.
A few hours later
Hey baby, how are you doing tonight?
Hi I-- ewwwww that's sick man. Why the hell are you covered in Jizz?

 

by shohmyoh
7-21-04
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
KIIIAAAAHHHHH!
A few hours later.
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
KIIIAAAAHHHHH!
Fucking Americans. Ever since they have made all the stupid ninja movies (Surf Ninjas, 3 Ninjas, American Ninja, Best of the best, The Challenge etc.) I've never been able to look menacing anymore.

 

by shohmyoh
7-21-04
O.k. Jacko get back in the pen we will have more kids riding you tomorrrow
I hate the kids riding me, they are too fat now a days they are almost breaking my back. People need to feed their kids good foods not fast food's greasy burgers. The worlds to fucked up now a days.
You know what's more fucked up then fat kids?
What?
You talking. You're a fucking donkey. Donkeys don't talk. And this fair is fucked up too it looks like a swirling acid trip.
Yeah I know. That's why you should only drop acid on days when you don't work.

 

by shohmyoh
8-05-04
Farmer Brown he had a dog and BINGO was his name oh.
B-I-N-G-O B-I-N-G-O B-I-N-G-O and BINGO was his name oh.
Farmer Brown he had a dog and INGO was his name oh. errr ummm Shit I can't clap the first letter.

 

by shohmyoh
8-05-04
Man I'm so depressed.
Would u like an acorn?
No answer, well screw you then. I'm outta here.
That's strange that animal just talked... Oh well

 

by shohmyoh
8-05-04
Hey Jake, I'm glad there is a T.V. in here but Prison is still pretty bad.
It's not so bad at 11pm.
Why what happens at 11?
You'll see
Later at 11:01pm
AAARRGGHHH JAKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OH CRAP THAT HURTS STAY OUT OF THERE ARRRGGGHHHH!!!
JUST GRIN AND BARE IT! OHH YEAH.

 

by shohmyoh
8-05-04
My friend said that there was a dead body here. All I see is a big Missle.
AARRRHGGHHHH!!

 

by shohmyoh
8-05-04
I heard a good joke a while back, Wanna hear it? If you do I hope you're sitting down cause it's funny.
What's red and runs up a woman's leg?
A home sick abortion.

 

by shohmyoh
8-05-04
Man I hate working as a secret agent for the president.
Yeah nothing ever happens.
WOAH CRAP!!!
SWEET LORD!!!!!!
Shit, nothing we could have done about that.
you should have taken the hit to protect the house from being destoryed Fred. I mean afterall I took that bullet for the president Last week. It's your turn this week to act as a human Shield.

 

by shohmyoh
8-05-04
Rudolph, I'm sick and tired of how you always get te credit and the other deers just get forgotten.
We've been pulling Santa for years and do we get any songs no. It's Always you you you
Shut-up Dancer or I'll have the KGB kill you.
KGB? What the hell? You don't know any KGB members.
Yes I do. I know all of them. After all they don't call me Rudolph the "RED" for nothing.

 

by shohmyoh
8-05-04
Look at that wonderful valley. How many blades of grass will achieve enlightenment?
Yeah it's kinda nice. Hey being a monk is kind of boring. I wanna go watch T.V.
But their are no T.V.s in the temple. To achieve total enligtenment you must do away with the earthly things.
Can't I watch T.V. as a Buddha
No you can not. There are no such earthly things in Buddha's Domain
Man being a monk sucks. I can't watch T.V. as a Buddha then there is no use of becoming one. I'm outta here.

 

by shohmyoh
8-06-04
Hi, what's up. What are you wearing?
Well arn't you forward, but if you must know I shirt and jeans.
Mmmmm sounds sexy.
Yeah I think so. It's starting to make my cock hard.
urrrrr your a guy, Well that turns me off cause I"m a guy too. Sorry about that. See ya later.
Hey don't run away so fast. C'mon man skin is skin lets get it on.

 

by shohmyoh
8-06-04
What are you in this graveyard for Father Tom?
Hi God I'm just coming to see how my mother is doing.
Your Mother is Fine She's in heaven right now sucking my cock.
I don't think you're telling the truth Lord. My mother wouldn't just drop to her knees to suck off some random guy.
Tom you Idiot, I am the Lord! I made and know everything. Your mother is going down on me right now and she's good. No go back the the church and screw some Altar Boys.
Oh well, your the boss. See you later.

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