All comics by Boritom

Profile

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
I Did it! I cloned a deer! Boy, the guys in my biology class are gonna cream over this...
Guess I won't tell them I was actually trying to build a paper mache volcano.

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Why does this... guy, I guess, keep staring at my crotch? It's really starting to creep me out!
Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock!
Boy, is he in for a shock!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
When is the show starting?
Shhhh!
What, "Shhh," Nothing's happened yet!
Shhhh!
I'm so gonna tear your lungs out and force-feed them to you while a team of angry lesbian midgets use mellon ballers to neuter you, and Tom Jones chews your eyeballs out of your face, you dirty cock!
sh!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Hi, my name is Barry, and I'm going to sing "Proud Mary," but I'm doing the CCR version, not the Ike and Tina version, okay?
I just have one question...
Why are we having Karaoke night in the men's room?

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Hi!
Hello
Got a minute?
Sure.
Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock...
...and silly me without my trademark hammer and nail today.

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Are you a Libra?
No... Why?
I've always wanted to do it with a Libra.
You do realise I'm only ten, right?
I can wait...
I'M NOT A LIBRA!!! GO THE FUCK AWAY!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Cool... this is the part where they have the huge shootout in the restaurant!
Yup... any time, now...
Fucking Kevin Coster movie!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock...
Excuse me... are you an homosexual?
Uhhh... No. Why do you ask?
You keep yelling for people to show you their cock. Since you yourself are a male of your species, I naturally assumed you were gay!
Well.... what should I be yelling?
Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat...

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
ngflurrrshhh.... ngflurrrshhh.... ngflurrrshhh....
I wish he would quit breathing like that!
ngflurrrshhh.... ngflurrrshhh.... ngflur*
Cool.

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat! Twat!
Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock!
<3
<3
So, you from around here?
Cock!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
While experimenting with his time machine, Roger discovered that static electricity didn't look as cool as it felt on his genitals.

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Okay... go ahead... I promise I won't peek!
You still there?
Putz!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Ma'am, would you like me to help you across the street.
Oh, no Deary, that's quite all right. I can manage fine by myself!
Okay.
I hope maggots infest your fucking implant scars, you smelly little cunt!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Now, hold steady, there... Don't lose your balance...
Now... what happens if I pop the beach ball with my knife?
I rip out your jugular vein and live off the meat of your rotting corpse for three weeks, till your wife gets home... Then I fuck the shit out of her!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Dance for me, you dirty little bitch!
Why should I do that?
Cuz... uhhh... If you don't, I'll... uhhh... I'll stab you?
That'll make it kind of difficult for me to give you the best blow job of your life, won't it?

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Hi there, Kids! I'm Mr. Smokes, here with another health safety tip...
Never douse your self with gasoline then set your ass on...
YEEEEAAAARRGGHH

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Hmmm...
Do you see it yet?
Nope...
How about now?
Look... I'll tell you when I see it, okay?
Jeez... who came on your face and shat in your sister's pussy today?

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Do you want some of these cheeseburgers?
Not now... I'm driving a nail into my brain.
Why?
...
You had to go and ask me that AFTER I pierced my temporal lobe!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Damn...
I mean... Just... DAMN!
That's the first time a date has actually spontaneously combusted from eating my lasagne.

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Yo, Yankee...
Since when do confederate soldiers say, "Yo?"
Since when do people driving nails into their brain give a fuck about authentic confederate vernacular?
Touche'!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Oh look... another zany Random Comic Layout strip...
Will the hilarious jocularities never end?
Strange that I'm not oozing entrails all over this cop car...

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
There are many ways to interpret this image... Perhaps the guy in front is excited to see the boy because they're cousins who only get to see eachother once a year...
Or perhaps he's trying to contain his excitement because he knows the boy will really like the birthday gift he got him...
Unfortunately... this is Strip Creator, so the punchline is probably going to be some offensive crap about tiny wee-wees or pedophilia or something!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Awright, Pal... Don't make a move!
God, I feel like a fucking idiot!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
So then I tell him, "But if mankind could think of something such as evolution, could that not also be part of God's Plan?"
Heh... What did he think of that?
*tsk*
What?
Never mind... Moron!
I don't get it.

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
This strip has no dialogue because bees and snowmen can't fucking talk!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
So... a cave, huh.
That's right, Babycakes. I've always wanted to bang a hot broad like you in a cave.
...and yet, I'm down to my bra and panties, and you're still in your leisure suit. Charming!
You know it, Sweetcheeks.
I hope you brought the Rohypnol!
Never leave home without it.

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
nghblpblpblp.
Al, do ya hafta make dat dizgustin' noise when ya drink?
Yup...
How come?
I've got a deviated septum, and I forget how to breathe sometimes.
Oh........................... well now I feel like a complete bitch!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
I got a new robot for my birthday, and he doesn't work. I'm so depressed, I could cry my eyes out!
He looks so sad... sitting there... motionless... without a soul... poor little automaton...
God, I wish that greasy fucktard would quit staring at me so I could go assrape his cat!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Herro, Sandy Craws!
Emiko! I am ashamed of you! To think you, of all people would cowtow to this repulsive Asian stereotype! I honestly thought better of you!
Rut de fugg are you dalging abouth?!? I dusht game from de Denthitht and had thwo egthtractionth... My mouf hurd rike a sonovavitsh!
Oh... Shit... I am SO sorry... I didn't mean to be so insensitive!
*sigh* Thath ogay... you didn't know...
So.... does your mouth hurt too much to earn yourself an extra five dollars?

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Seems like I've been waiting for this bus for days...
That guy behind me is starting to stink, and I'm motherfucking hungry!
Mmmmm.... Squirrel!
Fuck off, Kid! Better men than you have tried to take a chunk outta me and not lived to tell about it!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Okay... I'm going to ask 20 questions, and you have to tell me the truth, okay?
Okay
Great! Question #1: What in the name of holy bubbling FUCK are You?

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Gee, Gilligan... I guess it's just the two of us, huh...?
Yeah... Guess so.
Kinda funny how, after I said I wouldn't fuck you if your were the last guy on the island, the Skipper, the Professor and Mr. Howell suddenly turn up dead, victims of a grisly murder...
heh... Yeah... What a coincidence...
...and then when I told you I was a lesbian, Mrs Howell and Ginger turn up in a shallow grave, hacked to bits as well...
Destiny works in strange and mysterious ways, Mary Ann. Now, PLEASE take off your top for me!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Damn... I hated to kill Mary Ann too, but she was being such a bitch... Oh well... I have the whole island to myself, now...
hmmm....
Shit... There's nothing in this fucking book about building yourself a pleasure doll out of palm fronds and coconuts!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Dude, Gilligan and the Skipper should have been back from that three hour cruise quite some time ago, don't you think?
Hmmm.... Yeah, I guess so...
When did they leave again?
I'm not sure...
I think it was about 1963!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Mary Ann... I am Satan Incarnate! Submit your soul to me nooowww!
Stay back, or I'll kick you square in the cajones!
I'm a demon, you stupid bitch! You think YOU have the power to hurt me? That's the funniest damn thing I've heard since...
Ha-JAH!
ooooowwwww.... my naaarrds!
Now... Where's that asshole Alan Hale? I've got a few scores to settle with that ham-handed groping pig as well!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Heeeyyy... I don't remember anyone else being shipwrecked with us on this island.
Dude... Chill... It's me, Dobie!
Dobie? Dobie Gillis? From the time when I was a beatnick>
That's it, Maynard! You remember!
My name ain't Maynard, asshole... it's Gilligan!
To be honest, both names make you sound like a complete loser-limp-dick fucktard!

 

by Boritom
5-20-05
Oi'm a woild, mad kangaroo, matey! Oi gots me moy own bluddy roiful, and Oi'm gonna blow the shit outta that there squoill!
Learn to talk right, you pasty meat sack!
Oi?!? Wha'd you just soy ta me there, bloke?
Cut out the fucked up accent, grease licker! You're giving me a fucking headache!
Oi gotta gud moind ta blow your bluddy carcass to kingdum come, ye wee poiker!
Yeah? And I've got a good mind to tear out your vocal chords and use them to string Pete Townshend's fucking guitar just before they do, "Baba O'Reily!"

 

by Boritom
6-07-05
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?
I simply came to pay my respects to my dearly departed grandmother. I realize it's late, but I just drove here from Minneapolis, and...
I COULD GIVE A RATS ASS! THE CEMETARY IS CLOSED! HAUL YOUR FAT ASS OUTTA HERE BEFORE I HAVE TO DIG A GRAVE FOR YOU!
Really, Sir, there's no reason to be hostile. I simply need about 10 minutes, then I will be on my way...
LOOK, FUCKTARD, I ANI'T GONNA TELL YA AGAIN! SCRAM, 'AFORE I LOAD YOUR FACE FULL OF BUCKSHOT.
But my Viagra is almost worn off as it is!

 

by Boritom
6-07-05
You look like you're about to open a can with your sphincter!
Would you like help with: Placing the Can into position? Sharpening your sphinter muscle?Locating a firm surface on which you can...
Shut the fuck up!
You look like you want me to shut the fuck up! Would you like help with: Making me? Putting up or shutting up? Getting your ass handed to you...
If there is a God, that fucker will die of cock cancer!

 

by Boritom
6-08-05
How ya doin' back there?
Miserable... How much farther is it?
About six more kilometers.
Fucking Limey! How far is that in American.
Just far enough for you to piss me off to the point where I tear your asshole open large enough to stuff a Joshua Tree up it.
Good luck... I've got hemorroids the size of fucking Grapefruits!

 

by Boritom
6-08-05
Are you the ghost of my daddy?
Yes, my child...
Cool... Can I ask you a question?
Of course, my child.
Can I let Timmy Wilson play around in my panties if he promises to wear rubber gloves?
Uhhh... Shit... uhhh... Go ask your mother. I'm lousy at this kinda stuff!

 

by Boritom
6-08-05
I'm so depressed... I just wanna end it all.
Okay
I'm serious... I'll do it! I'll eviscerate myself right here and now!
Okay
You're not going to try to stop me?
Dude, have you read my fucking strip?

 

by Boritom
6-08-05
Hey Guys! Check out the cool snowman I built!
Guys? Come on!! Doncha wanna see this kick-ass snow man I built... with no snow anywhere... in the middle of June?
Fuck! You mean I squeezed out all my blackheads for NOTHING?!?

 

by Boritom
6-08-05
My Spoon is Too Big!
In all poetry, there exists the possibility of violence and peace. Place within yourself the coal of your burning desire, and expel the gift of nocturnal regression...
Canary

 

by Boritom
6-08-05
Merry Christmas!
It's June, you simpering fuckstick!
Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock...
Oh fuck!

 

by Boritom
6-08-05
Oh my goodness... a poor orphaned child, left behind by its mother here at the convent...
I shall take him in and he will be raised as a faithful servant of the Lord's word!
Damn... That broad has some nice looking titties! I hope my dick gets bigger soon!

 

by Boritom
6-08-05
Muff Diver!
Snatch Lapper!
Bull Dyke!
Lipstick lesbian!
Ya busy Friday night?
Fuck, No!

 

by Boritom
6-08-05
Hey, Santa! Remember me?
Uhhh... not right off-hand, no...
1978... Billy Wilkerson asks for a bunch of M-80's and an entire gross of sparklers for Christmas, and you said, "What the heck! Why not?"
Uhhh.... Okay.
I'm what's left of his little brother, Phillip, and I'm gonna fuck you up, asshole!
God... I am so glad I'm fucking stoned off my ass, and that this is just a hallucination!

 

by Boritom
6-08-05
Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring- Bananaphone!
Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring-Ring- Bananaphone!
SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!!!

 

by Boritom
6-08-05
Hey... don't I know...
Yes, yes, yes... you're my evil duplicate from an alternate universe, just like on Star Trek!
But, don't you murder and torture everyone you meet in a variety of grisly, disgusting manners?
Of course.
Then what makes ME the Evil one?
YOUR hockey mask isn't NHL Regulation!

Showing page 10.

« Previous Next »