All comics by boorite

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by boorite
7-09-03

 

by boorite
7-10-03

 

by boorite
7-10-03
I confess, you have presented me with the most compelling sales pitch I have heard in some time, but it is sadly lacking in specifics. Would it trouble you to elaborate somewhat?
There's not much to elaborate. Res ipsa loquitur. No fine print or hidden catches. Just my pole in your cornhole.
Yes, yes, the banalities are well within my power to understand. What I'm asking is, if you mean to provide this "service," a term I use advisedly, then what consideration do you demand in return?
Ah, the source of our misunderstanding emerges. Allow me to clarify: No consideration is required, and none is expected.
That is a generous offer, though one I am still inclined to decline, for the sake of my general welfare. Unless, of course, my consent is another item that is not required?
Neither required nor expected. I apologize if my original wording did not make these terms quite clear.

 

by boorite
7-10-03
Do you hear the music?
No.
Do you hear the music?
No.
Do you hear the music?
Fuck off.

 

by boorite
7-10-03

 

by boorite
7-10-03
Do you hear the music?
I preferred your older comics. Recently they've just been surreal.
No offence or anything.
You don't hear the music.
Does Fannypack count as music?

 

by boorite
7-11-03
Aha! You DO hear the music!
No, I don't. I told you already.
Yes you do! You hear that fucking music!
I said NO! Now fuck off!
"...if you like Pina Coladas..." dammit!

 

by boorite
7-11-03
It seems FannyPack is a serious deal.
They're getting airplay. They're getting writeups from MTV and newspapers and stuff.
They're being hailed as the next Lisa Lisa and Cult Jam.
Previous message was not received because of error: User is not available.

 

by boorite
7-14-03
Stripcreator: host not responding.
This is my chance to get out and expand my horizons.
moh

 

by boorite
7-14-03
I've written up my own philosophy of life. It's all about free will, hard work, and individual initiative.
That's not your own philosophy. That's the ideology of capitalism.
No, I'm fairly sure this is my handwriting.

 

by boorite
7-14-03
In the clip I'm about to show, Tobor administers his own brand of justice using a telescoping appendage, seen here only in shadow...
What's that look for? I think you get it.
Oh, you get it alright. Don't you, Professor?

 

by boorite
7-14-03
Rage.
Horror.
Ecstasy.

 

by boorite
7-14-03
Cute shoes.
Thanks.

 

by boorite
7-14-03
One day at the country club...
So I says, "them rotator cuffs ain't gonna generate tendinitis by themselves!"
Ha, ha.
My ex-wife got the summer house.

 

by boorite
7-14-03
Newbies and regs, we'll all end up like you. Were you a reg? Where are your one-liners? Your inside jokes?
No, you are the comic strip now, death's everlasting punchline. Gags get tired from running, and message boards crash and burn...
...but yours is a complexion inked in colors that Time cannot fade.
Somebody get this guy a ball gag.

 

by boorite
7-15-03
How about that local sports team?
They are doing well or badly.

 

by boorite
7-18-03
Mother, do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?
Lil missy, I'm et up with weapons-grade crotch-rot.
I'm givin' off visible stank waves over here.
Was there somethin' you wanted to ask me?

 

by boorite
7-18-03
Stripcreator is STILL down.
OK. Maybe I'll check out this Shape Factory thing.
Oh, dear God in Heaven.
I got some pure evil on my soul. Can you hose it off with God or something?
Sorry, no, but we are having a bake sale.

 

by boorite
7-29-03
Come here often?
*fweeeeeeeeee*
*fweeeeeeeeee*
*fweeeeeeeeee*

 

by boorite
7-29-03
I made a blowup doll comic.
I'll bet it was hilarious.
*throws a pie in your face*

 

by boorite
7-29-03
Let's have sex.
No thanks, I'm straight.
The President says a blowjob isn't sex.
Oh! Well have at it, then.

 

by boorite
7-29-03

 

by boorite
7-29-03
Many of the preceding comics were made in under 30 seconds.
That explains their extreme awfulness.
Ostensibly.
Ostensibly.

 

by boorite
7-31-03
You'll be visiting the States in October then?
Let me consult the 8-ball...
It saaaaayyysss... "Eight."
Hm.
Fucking hell, it always says that.

 

by boorite
7-31-03
So then my wife says, "HOLD THE GODDAMN PICKLES!"
Ha ha. What a story. Now... how'd you get started hammering nails into your skull?
Oh for... you know I hate to go on these things and just talk about my work.
I'm sorry. It's what the audience wants.
Look, the nail thing is just something I do for money. Just the way folks at home deliver mail or milk cows.
Except you hammer pointy steel things into your forehead.

 

by boorite
7-31-03
Wow, you're really fast!
It seems that I am!
Oh, no. My leg is broken.
Mine, too. But we still have that fighting spirit!
Wow, you're still really fast!
Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.

 

by boorite
8-04-03
...and the Iraq war continues to boost President Bush's approval rating.
Surely no Democrat can beat him!
Sadly for Bush, the check was not in the mail. It was the economy, stupid.
Did two terms of Clinton teach the Republicans anything?
...and the Iraq war continues to boost President Bush's approval rating.
Surely no Democrat can beat him!

 

by boorite
8-04-03
I'm simulating the circuit that's giving me these problems. I saw that one clock before it reads from 69, it also writes to address 7X, an unknown address.
Who knows what writing to an unknown address will do to it internally? Although because whatever 7X is, it's not 69 because 6 isn't 7, it shouldn't affect 69...
It needs a real address or it causes unknown states.
Like West Dakota?

 

by boorite
8-07-03
So, Arnold Schwarzenegger, eh?
Don't be silly. A 5th-rate actor could never be elected Governor of California.
....well, he'd never be elected President...
...well he couldn't get elected to two terms...

 

by boorite
8-11-03
God, I know I haven't been in touch lately, but if you could please, please, just let me draw an easy opponent...
Hi, is this the Battle Royal? You must be Lenny.
Swell. Thanks, God.

 

by boorite
8-11-03
You better watch out. I took three months of Taekwondo in college.
I'm Death.
I can break a board with my head.

 

by boorite
8-11-03
I know how to beat Death! I'll cut out the between-meal Doritos...
...and I'll start going to the gym!
Die.
And I'll get thse gnarly moles looked at... hey, where do you think you're going? I'm not done with you!

 

by boorite
8-11-03
That Lenny didn't put up much of a fight.
Well, there's something you don't know...
Right before your match, he wrote an epic fantasy novel incorporating Teutonic mythology and classic heroic themes.
So let me guess. Lenny cheats Death by achieving immortality through his art.
No. The book totally sucks.

 

by boorite
8-12-03
So when the pimp comes back to the card game with the jade frog, he figures out the hooker and the cop were the same person! So, what do you think?
Sounds fine to me.
Sounds fine to you? Can't you give me a little more than that?
Honestly, my attention wandered a bit.
Christ, I'm trying to write a movie here!
Yeah, I'm the same way in movies.

 

by boorite
8-15-03
Daniel Pipes is an anti-Muslim bigot.
Haha.
Appointing Daniel Pipes is a slap in the face to the Muslim community.
Hee hee hee.
What the hell is so funny?
You said "Pipes."

 

by boorite
8-18-03
Where have all the flowers gone?
Kajun got his penis out!
What? That doesn't...
Oh.

 

by boorite
8-19-03
I'm collecting for the poor.
I'll give you these boxer shorts.

 

by boorite
8-19-03
Hello, I'm whoring for godfuckers.
You brute-evil pig's cunt!
GO RAPE A DEAD RAT!!

 

by boorite
8-21-03
They mixed up our mail again?
Well, you know... Santa's Workshop, Satan's Workshop....
Yeah, thanks for bringing it over. Wonder what it is?
Just a molten lead enema kit and a Pauly Shore video.
I mean that's my guess.

 

by boorite
8-22-03
It's Easter!
That magical time of year!
When I lay psychedelic eggs...
And I rise from the grave! Sweet dreams, kid.

 

by boorite
8-22-03
What do you think of my comic?
It contains a grammatical error.
Cunt off.
The imperative sense.

 

by boorite
8-25-03
Do you have any feedback on our new website?
I'll gladly "feed back" the piece of crap sideways down your sperm-gurgling esophagus.
That's not very professional.
I work for NASA. I'll vaporize your little web server with space lasers.
Wow, you guys can do that?
Oops.

 

by boorite
8-26-03
Will you be my Valentine?
Go away!
Well, if that's how you're going to be...
YOU'VE GOT A DATE WITH THE FREEZER CHEST!

 

by boorite
8-26-03
Ho, ho, ho!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

 

by boorite
8-26-03
Where have you been? I muh-- ... I meh--
You what?
I m-- .... I m-- ...
You missed me?
I'm... having a stroke.
You didn't miss me?

 

by boorite
8-26-03
Happy triumphant return to StripCreator!
Yes! Welcome back!
Who the fuck are you, again?
Yes! Refresh our memories! Who?

 

by boorite
8-26-03
I'll take half a pound of your finest aged semisoft cow's milk cheese.
How about a bucket of stale party mix?
OK.

 

by boorite
8-27-03
You won the contest!
High five!
lukket
you
complete
cunt! Please give my entries due consideration in the next CC.

 

by boorite
8-27-03
This is Mark Slackmeyer with another edition of WBBY and You. Today our guest is famous stripcreator, boorite. Boorite, what's wrong with my comic strip?
Well, to start with, Mark, it's too wordy. No one is going to read all these words. They skim it to seem intelligent. In fact, I'll bet I could say "cunt" 50 times and no one would notice.
An interesting theory. Do you think the Republican administration deliberately feeds into our readership's diminishing attention span to serve corporate interests?
Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt.
Well, that's all the time we have today, campers! Be sure to join us next time for [wry leftover hippie joke].

 

by boorite
8-27-03
Would you like to try our new Rotisserie Mung Biscuit?
What the hell is it?
What the hell does it sound like?
Like a savory hair pie, trapped in Elmer's glue and flogged with a genuine toadskin mallet.
Nope. It's an aged priest's beanbag, lightly shriveled and tossed in festive pine vinegar.
Does that come with fries?

Showing page 14.

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