All comics by edoggydog

 

by edoggydog
3-20-06
...so, I says, "Bolt on a rotor turbine and drop it. It'll be looking stupid-fresh after that!"
Groovy!
Oh, did I tell you? My wife's pregnant!
Congratulations! So, who's the FATHER?
POW!!
I was only joking, dude... *gasp*

 

by edoggydog
3-25-06
I'm Dr. Cumstein, and I'll be giving you your physical today. And, if you're really nice, I'll have Nurse Titty give you a barium enema!
Groovy!
Anyoo... Before we start, are there any concerns you might be having with your health?
Yeah... Everything I eat turns to SHIT!
Really? How long has this been going on?
Since birth.

 

by edoggydog
3-26-06
We will return with more "Girls Gone Wild- Beastiality Version", here on Animal Planet, right after this word from Nissan...
Groovy!
Right here! Right now! Right here! Right now! Right here! Right now! Right here! Right now! Right here! Right now! Right here! Right...
What the..?
(Not so much a comic, as a commentary on this lame-ass commercial!)
...now! Right here! Right now! Right here! Right now!Right here! Right now! Right here! Right now! Right here! Right now! Right here! Right now! Right here...
GODAMN, WILL YOU SHUT-THE-FUCK-UP WITH THE "RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW!" BULLSHIT!!

 

by edoggydog
3-28-06
Yesterday, a bunch of illegal alien students walked out of class to protest President Bush, who just happens to support their cause...
Groovy!
I think "estupido" is a better word! Anyhoo... One of the illegals got hit by a car and died!
Really? Do you know what this means..?
No. What?
One down. Eleven million, nine hundred ninety-nine to go!

 

by edoggydog
3-29-06
...so, I says, "Tweet, tweet, tweet?" And, she said, "TWEET!" Then, we fucked the bird-shit out of each other!
Groovy!
Anyhoo... I just heard on Lox News that the Israelis just elected an omelette prime minister! An OMELETTE! What da FUCK? I mean, I thought them Jewbies were supposed to be smart or something!
No, you dumb, newspaper shitting-on moron! They elected a man named Olmert!
Oh... Never mind... [*frrrrrpt*]
Maybe, it's time to feed you...TO THE FUCKING CAT!!!

 

by edoggydog
3-29-06
...then, I says, "Them fish ain't gonna catch themselves!" After that, I smote the whole lot of them dumbasses...
Groovy!
So, my son... What can I do for you?
I need a new Bible verse to win CC:316...
Okay... Try this: (whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper )
Wow! That's absolute GENIUSNESS!

 

by edoggydog
3-29-06
...so, I says, "1001 0110 11011?" And, she says, "10101!" Then, we went back to the crib and I ended up downloading all over her motherboard, if you know what I mean!
Groovy!
By the way... What did Jesus give you for a winning new Bible verse?
(whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper )
Really? That's got to be the DUMBEST thing I've ever heard!
Don't judge lest you yourself be judged, bucket-head!

 

by edoggydog
3-29-06
...then, I says, "Don't knock it until you've tried it!" To wit, Pete bent over and let me drill him in the ass with my curling iron. Hot.
Groovy!
Anyhooooooo... You said Jesus gave you a new Bible verse that is guaranteed to win CC: 316? Okay, lay it on me...
(whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper )
Uhhh...
What?

 

by edoggydog
3-29-06
...and, it was at that uncomfortable moment I found out that attitudechicka is really a MAN!
Groovy!
So, dude... You say you have the "winning" new Bible verse? Well, let's hear it...
(whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper )
That blows, dude! [CLICK!!]
UnknownEric..? Hello..?

 

by edoggydog
3-29-06
"Be sureth thoust drinketh thy Ovaltine"???
Ha, ha!

 

by edoggydog
3-30-06
The lesser-known "female" version of that old disco classic...
♫ It's fun to go to the... ♫
...Y...
...W...
...C...
...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
Groovy!

 

by edoggydog
4-04-06
"Stripcreator World" (Day One)
...so, I says, "What the fuck do I know?"
You should have given him the "finger"! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Very "bunny"! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Oy, my aching nuts!
Groovy!
Hey! Who invited this French-looking, fag-boy FREAK behind me?

 

by edoggydog
4-05-06
Sure. I'll tell you how my skin got blown clean off...
Groovy!
"I was in the restroom earlier, and after freshening up, I decided to use the hot-air dryer to dry my face."
*RRRRRRRRRRRRR*
♫ Do bee do bee dooooooo ♫
"Let's just say the need to lower the thrust-to-weight ratio on that fucking blower!"
*RRRRRRRRRRRRR*
HOLY SHIT!!

 

by edoggydog
4-05-06
Sure. I'll tell you how I my skin got blown clean off...
Groovy!
"I was in the restroom, waiting for Shaq to finish using the urinal. When, all of the sudden, he let one RIP!"
*BRAAAAAAAAP!*
♫ Doo bee doo bee dooooooooooo ♫
"Apparently, he had eaten five pounds worth of refried beans for lunch!"
HOLY SHIT!!

 

by edoggydog
4-06-06
One day, our hero goes to the doctor...
So, you say it hurts when you urinate? Well, drop your pants and let me take a look...
Groovy!
(scene blacked out due to F.C.C. restrictions)
OH MY GOD! Your dick is all twisted and bruised! No wonder it hurts when you pee!
What can you do for it?
Well, at this point, all I can recommend is AMPUTATION!
Uh... It doesn't hurt THAT bad when I pee! Late...

 

by edoggydog
4-06-06
Later, at the local bar...
...sho, you shay [hic] the doctor recommended [burp] ampu-tayshun? Why don't you show me [hic] your dick in the reshroom?
Groovy!
Oh, I shee... [burp] I had the shame problem my [hic] shelf! Try tapping your penish [burp] on the urinal three timesh when you're done peeing...
Coolio! May I put my pants back on?
Now, if you'll exshcuse me [BURP!], I think I'm going to be shick! BRAAAAAAAAAPP!!
FIRE IN THE HOLE!!

 

by edoggydog
4-06-06
Back at the doctor's office (one month later)...
Wow! Your penis is back to normal! Looks like you're cured!
Groovy!
And, you say that all you did was tap your penis on the urinal three times when you're done peeing? What were you doing before?
Ringing it out.
What?

 

by edoggydog
4-09-06
...and, that's how I knew I was putting WAY too much liver oil in Snookum's cat food!
Groovy!
Anyhoo... How's it going with your new girlfriend?
Pretty well, thank you very much! However, I think she was a little sad last night...
What makes you say that?
Well... When she was giving me a blowjob, she seemed "all choked up"! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [snort]

 

by edoggydog
4-11-06
...then, the mayor of L.A., pandering to a crowd of illegal wetbacks, said, "We clean your toilets." So, we're all going to send him toilet brushes!
Groovy!
Anyhoo... Did you hear about that male-ordered Russian wife that was abused by her fiancé when she arrived in America? I tell ya... I'd abuse my new ordered wife if she turned out to be MALE!
She was M-A-I-L ordered, you little twit!
Oh... Never mind!
I'm off to mail that fuck-face Villaraigosa a toilet brush! Late...

 

by edoggydog
4-13-06
I figure the fire department just has to hire me NOW!
Groovy!

 

by edoggydog
4-13-06
I figger the fire department has to hire me, too!
Daaaaamn, Shaq!
Groovy!

 

by edoggydog
4-13-06
Aaaaaaaaaah!
What the..?
Groovy!
Do you mind, Mr. Invisible Man? We be practicing here!

 

by edoggydog
4-13-06
Back to the news... Today, in Los Angeles, Mayor Villaraigosa pandered to a crowd of illegals. Let's go to the videotape...
Groovy!
"We clean your toilets! We clean your hotel rooms! We cook your food! We build your homes! We take care of your children! We..."
Hmmm...
"...we...we drive slow in the fast lane and clog up your freeways! We graffiti your walls! We steal your cars! We crowd your emergency rooms! We..."
...impact your schools! We breed like rabbits! We cost the State of California tens of billions of dollars! We take jobs from Americans and bring down pay scales! We...

 

by edoggydog
4-17-06
...and why is calling someone a "bird-brain" an insult? The way I see it... Uhhhh... I mean... Whacky!
Groovy!
Anyhoo... I hear the Dead Sea is "threatened" due to the lack of flowing fresh water! I mean, what's the WORST that can happen? It's already DEAD!!
I agree!
Wow! He actually agreed with me! Talk about a "bird-brain"!
Hmmm... I think the "anti-confrontational therapy" my psycho-hypnotist did on me is making me a little TOO nice!

 

by edoggydog
4-19-06
...so, I says, "Yeah, I like Judas- Judas Priest, that is! HAHAHAHAHAHA [*buuuuuuurrrp*]
Groovy!
Anyhoo... You say you have a question for moi?
Yes. Lately, scientists have been saying that when you walked on water, it most likely was frozen. Is that true?
Of course, it's true! Who do you think froze it in the first place? I mean, you can't walk on water when it's in its liquid state! DUH!!
I think that brings the score to God: 1,239,826; Scientists: 0!

 

by edoggydog
4-19-06
...and that's when I learned that a "stool pigeon" wasn't a bird who studies feces!
Groovy!
Anywayz... I read that the U.N. is upset over Iran wanting to "enrich Iranians". I mean, what's the big dealio? So, what if Iranians get wealthier! I guess I don't understand world politics...
They want to enrich uranium, feather-butt! So... Just where exactly did you read this?
In the newspaper at the bottom of my cage, fag-boy!
Either, we need to buy you glasses, or you got to stop believing your own SHIT!

 

by edoggydog
4-20-06
...side effects include crossed-eyeism, jock-itchism, orgasm-ism, rashism, and gout... We now return you to Lox Jews- er, News...
Groovy!
In Los Angeles today, there was a major earthquake measuring 7.5 on the richter scale...
Oh, my!
"...followed soon after by a 6.9 tremblor, which was caused by four million illegals running back to Mexico like rats deserting a sinking ship!"
AAAAYYYYYYYY!!!
AAAAYYYYYYYY!!!

 

by edoggydog
4-20-06
...side effects include malaprop-ism, hypnotism, prismism, and mild retardation. We now return you to Jox News...
Groovy!
In San Francisco today, there was a major earthquake measuring 8.0 on the richter scale. No known deaths were sustained...
Oh me oh my!
"...but tens of thousands of gay men had their dicks sheared off during the shaking!"
...so, just how did your penis get "accidently" sheared off?
Well... I had my member in Bruce's mouth when the big one hit, and...

 

by edoggydog
4-21-06
...side effects include death. But, at least you'llstill be able to cornhole your wife! We now return you to Blox News...
Groovy!
In Tijuana, Mexico today, there was a major earthquake measuring 8.3 on the richter scale...
"Fortunately, the tremblor happened during the afternoon siesta, and when the people awoke, they could not tell there had been a natural disater!"
Hey, Pablo! What's SHAKING?
Nada, amigo!

 

by edoggydog
4-23-06
BREAKIN' THE LAW! BREAKIN' THE LAW! BREAKIN' THE LAW! BREAKIN' THE LAW! BREAKIN' THE LAW! BREAKIN' THE...
What do you think of this new, Judas Priest cover band?
Groovy!
Can I get your drink order, sir?

 

by edoggydog
4-23-06
So there I was, alone in a dark alley, when out of nowhere appeared a six-foot, killer rabbit with an axe!
Groovy!
"So, using the karate I learned in the police academy, I reared back to give him a round-house kick to the face..."
Hiiiiiiiiiiii-YA!!
?!?
"...not realizing I was just starting a particularily heavy menstruation cycle!"
YECCCCHHH!!

 

by edoggydog
4-23-06
Hiiiiiiiiiii-YA!
YECCCCCHHH!!
That's just WRONG!
Groovy!
That must mean Holly's not pregnant! Whewwwwww!!

 

by edoggydog
4-26-06
...and that's when my manager suggested I change my name from "Barney Spoogestain" to "Will Smith".
Groovy!
So, now that we're in a very, private spot, like you requested... What was it you wanted to ask me?
Well, um... I was just wondering if you could show me how to get "niggy" with it....
The word is jiggy, bonehead!
Oh. Sorry! By the way... Your wife's vagina is HUUUUUUUUUUGE!!

 

by edoggydog
4-26-06
"And, I shall strike down upon thee with great vengence and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers..."
Groovy!
"...and you will know I am the LAW!"
Uh... Shouldn't that be "the LORD"?
Yes... I was just reminding that heretic, kramer_vs_kramer who's who, and what's what!
You might want to keep your eye on that Inkojester fellow. I think he's officially gone off the deep end with his "Bob's zombie diary" cartoon!

 

by edoggydog
4-27-06
Day 43
Well, we threw BigFrank105 to the zombies, and they threw him right back! So, we'll have to try using someone else as a diversion...
Groovy!
But, why do I have to go to the store and get coffee...AGAIN?
SHUT UP, GENE!
And, none of that freeze-dried shit!
Can a nigga get some waffles?

 

by edoggydog
4-27-06
(Actual news report)
...side effects include joining the Democratic Party... We now return you to Blocks News...
Groovy!
Today, a construction worker at LAX was killed when the cement roller he was driving, flipped on it's side and pinned his head between the cab and the ground...
Ouch!
...crushing his skull. Operations at the airport were not impacted.
Well... Thank God for THAT!

 

by edoggydog
4-27-06
Day 46
...then, after I "waffled" Bob, I pulled out and "dirty pancaked" his buddy, Gene!
Groovy!
Later... I ran into Bob's mother, and-
Dude. Hold on.
You MIND? We're having a private conversation here!
Sorry!

 

by edoggydog
4-28-06
...and that's why I decided to stop inserting light bulbs up my ass!
Groovy!
Anyhoo... Did you know that, in America, a woman gets raped every six seconds?
Really?
Her pussy must really be SORE!

 

by edoggydog
4-28-06
...and that's why I decided to resume inserting light bulbs up my ass!
Groovy!
Anywayz... Did you know that, in America, a car is stolen once every seven seconds?
Wow! I'll bet it has a really sore pussy!
What?

 

by edoggydog
5-01-06
Damn! Mrs. Penny-nipple seems to be re-enacting that erotic carwashing scene from "Cool Hand Luke"... Hubba, hubba!
Groovy!
Anyhoo... Did you know that today was the "Great Illegal Immigrant Walkout"?
Yes. I was really excited about the event at first. But, then I was VERY disappointed...
Why's that?
Because it turns out they were only walking out of their jobs, and not the UNITED STATES!!

 

by edoggydog
5-04-06
...then, I said, "It may please you to know, sir, that those rotar turbines, of which you speak, will not, themselves, generate gravitons unassistedly"
Ha, ha!
Wait a minute! What kind of "dead" language is THAT?
Proper English!
Oh, snap!

 

by edoggydog
5-04-06
...and, later, I was at the Cingular store, and some old lady was com-plaining that she couldn't hear her cell phone ring when it was in...
Goddamn! This jamoak has been prattling on for fifteen minutes and counting...
...her purse. So, I waited as the idiot behind the counter fiddled with the ring volume on the phone, but they still couldn't her the phone in her...
I'll bet even if one of those zombies outside came in here and ate me (one could only hope), he'd just keep on talking!
...purse. So, the old lady stormed out, blaming everything that sucked in her life on Cingular. Then, I thought, why keep it in your purse if you can't...
Groovy!

 

by edoggydog
5-04-06
...and, that's when I decided no more anal sex with beavers!
Groovy!
Anyhoo... Lately, my neck has been really sore, almost as if I had an acute case of whiplash. And, I can't figure out why...
Hmmm... When you see your reflection in the mirror, do yell, "GAH!" and snap your head back in terror?
Fuck you!
I'll put you down for a "yes"! Late...

 

by edoggydog
5-05-06
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
Groovy!
Tonight, mi amigos and I are going to celebrate by getting drunk, singing 'til all hours in the early morning, and urinating in public!
How's that different than any other weekend?
Uh...
Fire off an e-mail to me when you figure it out! Late...

 

by edoggydog
5-05-06
Happy Cinco de Mayo!
Groovy!
Mi amigos and I are going to celebrate by getting blind-stinking drunk, and peeing in public. How are you going to celebrate?
By shooting every Mexican ON SIGHT!
AAAAAAIIIEEEEE!!!
Wait here whilst I go get my "nine"...

 

by edoggydog
5-05-06
Hola, senor! Mi name es Juan! Yo was sent aqui by Homo Depot to build su shed!
Groovy!
Two days later...
[knock, knock]
Is that you, Juan? Did you finally finish building that shed?
No. Pero, necessito el doctoro!
Apparently, Homo Depot sent me a Mexi-can't!

 

by edoggydog
5-16-06
...so, then I says, "Just because we won't kick out twelve million illegals who won't leave all by themselves, it's not AMNESTY!"
What? No "groovy"?
When is your fucking term up?

 

by edoggydog
5-16-06
I think it's time for me to come clean as to why we REALLY went into Iraq...
Groovy!
"We interrupt this episode of 'Groovy!' for a news update..."
The cost of gasoline has risen today to over $5 per gallon!
BUTT-FUCK ME SIDEWAYS!!
"We now return you to your comic, already in progress..."
I hope that clears things up!
WOW! I can't wait to tell everyone down at the metrosexual bar! Later...

 

by edoggydog
5-16-06
Wanna know what God told me is the meaning of life?
Groovy!
What do you call a fast lesbian?
A "lickity split"!
And, here I thought it was a plate of WAFFLES!
What's 100% minus 71%? Dubya's latest poll rating! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [*burp*]

 

by edoggydog
5-17-06
Dude... Have you seen the latest comic contest hosted by fuzzyman? I think there's some REAL comic geniusness going on there!
Groovy!
Meahwhile, back at the ranch...
"Nnnfff!!! NNNFFF!!! There! How do you like that face full of my nauseating shit, Mom?"
Never have I been so tempted to delete a thread and start over.
I'll bet he's gonna have a hard time picking a winner!
Boy, I'd hate to be in his shoes!

Showing page 16.

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