Epic Quest Redeux Chapter 3 (IX) by DragonXero12-31-04 And what of the friends our Heroes made on this quest? Um... I'm still herdin' cattle and bein' a cowboy. I'm still riding my cowboyfriend like a bucking bronc! I was never in this story to begin with, what the hell are you looking at me for?!
Epic Quest Redeux Chapter 3 (X) by DragonXero12-31-04 *sob* He was too young. Too great a squirrell to die like this. I promise, I won't let your love, or your life be in vain! The End (For Now) I will DESTROY AXION!!!
Epic Quest: To Be Continued? by DragonXero12-31-04 *ahem* On behalf of all involved with Epic Quest Redeux, I would like to offer this: *pffft* Hahahahaha, goddamn I fooled you all. No, no, seriously. Okay, someday in the future, maybe I'll write the finale. *pffft* Oh god. Gay squirrells. This is better than a digital Yoda.
I'm SO Sorry. by DragonXero1-01-05 Sorry for having feelings and emotions. Sorry for ruining your New Year's Eve, which you were spending with your boyfriend. Sorry for fucking existing. Cunt.
Dinosaur Love, Dinosaur Hate by DragonXero1-02-05 Hey Fred, what's up with John? John? I WILL KILL YOU FRED! Yeah, that John. He's just mad because his wife likes me more than him.
Confused Viking by DragonXero1-02-05 Time to go to Valhalla! But I don't want to go to Valhalla! I want to go to heaven! You can't go to heaven, you're a Viking, and you've died in battle! How about Hades then? I wouldn't mind hanging out with Hercules! Let me spell it out for you: Those places don't exist. You can't go there. You will go to Valhalla! Can I be reincarnated?
Product Placement by DragonXero1-02-05 What's in YOUR wallet?! AFLACK! Once again, it's GECKO, not Geico! ♫Meow meow meow meow....♫ I'm a happy cow, I make happy milk! And I'm from California. Suckers. Letting themselves be stuck to just one product! PLEASE, HIRE ME! I'll even sell Viagra!
Before the Battle by DragonXero1-02-05 Men! We go to battle today, not to win our land, but to win our freedom! We shall persevere! None shall conquer us! Now, go fight the good fight! YEAH! I'll be back at the heavily fortified castle if you need me! YEA- huh? I cannot believe him. He is supposed to lead us into battle! King Dave the French Surrender Monkey lives up to his name.
Viking vs. Knight by DragonXero1-02-05 England is the land of hope and advancements in technology! Norway is the land of great warriors and even greater women and feasts. England has conquered most of the known world! Norway did that years ago. And we don't get run off by pissy revolutionaries! We just got bored. Savage. Pussy.
Stupid Wimmin. by DragonXero1-03-05 So, you wanna go on a date? Erm, can we just be friends? Nah. I have plenty of friends. I don't need more. But... Especially ones who never call. I.. fuck.
Apathy > Rebellion by DragonXero1-03-05 I fucking hate Bush so much! Yeah, that's great. I hope you didn't vote for that warmongering pig! No, I didn't. But could you just shut the fuck up? Why? Don't you hate Bush?! Your pithy rebellion < My apathy.
GTA: Glutte County (Inspired by mmeyers) by DragonXero1-03-05 Duuuude, I am so high right now! It's not even really worth killing you. You have no money and no car. Pssst, you have to kill me, you can't win without it... Um... okay... you're a strange little avatar... So, how's the new GTA? I haven't gotten out of Chico yet, and I have a feeling I never will.
Dear CHUBBY: by DragonXero1-04-05 Yo, Chubby! I like your comics! Except for the majority of them, which are political. I mean, do you know how many people you're annoying with these political toons? Well you're annoying one. Knock it off. Please. Make more of your funny nonpartisan comics.
Animal Planet! by DragonXero1-04-05 'ello there! Oi'm Steve Irwin! Oi'm 'ere ta tell ya about this 'ere snake! This 'ere's the Australian Blastulack Snake! Deadliest in the word! Ain't she a beaut'? One boite from 'er venomous fangs an'- *nnnngg*
Animal Planet II by DragonXero1-04-05 Roight. Steve Irwin 'ere again. After three weeks in th' 'ospital, oi'm olroight again. Now, today, we 'ave the BEAU'IFUL Ozzie Croc, 'ose boite can crush a man's pelvis! Now, oi've got to be real care- AAAH!! OH GOD! OH LORD, MY PELVIS!! AAAARRRGGGH!!!! Not bad. Kinda gamey. Almost... cheesy.
Animal Planet III by DragonXero1-04-05 *nngh* Roight then. Steve Irwin 'ere again! Oftah' six months of ROIGHT PAINFUL surgery 'n a new 'ip replacement, oi'm back on the aih'! Today, we're.. oh 'ello there! My GOD you're a beaut! Just look at that proboscis! And that.. tentac- A MAYUN! OI! AAAARRRGGGH!! NOT AGAIN! ME ARSE!! MAKE IT STOP! DEAR GOD IN 'EAVEN MAKE IT STOP!!! Hmmm. Not bad. A little gamey. At least he's tight.
Animal Planet IV by DragonXero1-04-05 Nnngh... Olroight, Steve Irwin 'ere. After eight months of emergency proctology an' ten months of extreme counseling, oi'm back. Roit then, this toim, oi'm gonna workin' with Wollabees. Noice, safe, not venomous or ready to rape me with tentacles. 'ello Steve! GAH! IT'S GONNA EAT ME! Oi knew 'ed notice oi din't brush moi teeth t'day.
Animal Planet V by DragonXero1-04-05 ROIGHT! This toime, oi've goh' everythin' under control! Steve Irwin 'ere, takin' me meds on toime now, an.. uh.. 'ello there lil' red.. uh... RARRRR!!!!! AAAAAH!! ME BLEEDIN' ANUS IS BLEEDIN' BLEEDIN'! TOBOR NEEDS TO GET "DOWN UNDER" MORE OFTEN!
Jesus & Jesus by DragonXero1-04-05 So. What's up? Just hangin' around. I fucking hate you. But I AM you. Just.. shut up. Hey look, I can make my belly-button talk!
Jesus & His Dad by DragonXero1-04-05 Daaaaaad! My wrists and ankles are really hurting! That's nice, son. DAAAAD! I have an itch and I can't scratch it! Just ignore it. It'll go away. DAaaAAAaaAAd! I don't wanna die! FUCK, next time, I'm just gonna have you BURNED for humanity's sins.
Anatomy of Tobor by DragonXero1-04-05 First, you must remember that Tobor is always yelling: RARR!! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU! Secondly, always remember Tobor's telescoping penis. HOW COULD ANYONE FORGET? Finally, always remember that Tobor isn't really into women. It's not that he's gay, he just likes how men scream better. RAAAAR! TOBOR MANRAPE! GAH!
Easily Entertained (Props to Choadie) by DragonXero1-04-05 Poop. Gyah! HAHAH HAHAH HAHA HAHAHA!!! Wangs. HAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHA!! STOP!! God I love easily entertained people. HAHAHAHA OH GOD IT HURTS! HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA!
A World Without Death by DragonXero1-19-05 I'd like to discuss the recent depiction of me as a jerk. Come on people, do you know how bad life would be without me? A little something.. a-likea this. DUDE! You just fucking shot me! And I'm not dead... THAT WAS FUCKING COOL! DO IT AGAIN! Crazy cracka' ass cracka. I'm gonna go snort me $50,000 worth of blow in an hour! ... ... Fuck you! You just don't understand me!
More Reaper Follies by DragonXero1-19-05 Fine. You asses need another lesson in what life would be like without me. Death. Here we see a man about to make a very big mistake! You got any STDs? AIDS? That kinda stuff? I have 40 seperate STDs. All life-threatening. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT, NO! STOP! Sweet! I got Gonhorreah, wanna trade for Syphilis, then go jump off a couple cliffs? Sounds like fun. Let me grab my purse.
Life Without Death by DragonXero1-19-05 More Life Without Death Deep sea diving without scuba gear. This is awesome. Hey, let's trade more STDs. Gotta catch 'em all. Lessee, I have Bavarian Lute Syndrome and Arkansas Instant Death... Oh shit! I've been looking for Arkansas Instant Death for months! Gimmie! What'll you trade me for it? Fuck... well, let's see, I have African Monkey Flu and while it's not an STD, I have the ultra rare mad cow disease.
Jay and Silent Bob? by DragonXero1-22-05 No dude, seriously, you need to put on at least 50 more pounds before you can be Silent Bob. ... :(
Whiny Liberal Comic Creator Enabler by DragonXero1-28-05 Last November, the US saw a wonderous victory unfold, giving thousands a new opportunity! Liberal comic writers were given four more years of pathetic material and a chance to bitch about republicans even more annoyingly. So let's give it up for George W. Bush, whiny liberal comic creator enabler! HUZZAH!
Vomit is Funny by DragonXero1-30-05 Something's going to happen here. Can you guess what? Wait for it... waiiiit for it..... Hahahaha, vomit is funny. *blaaaaarrggghhh*
So Unpredictable by DragonXero1-31-05 Man, women are unpredictable! Oh they are not. Here, let's go prove it. I still don't see how this is going to prove- PULL! I told you. It was the wind! I'd have hit her in center mass if the wind hadn't pushed her out of the way!
We Talkin' Bout Women by DragonXero1-31-05 Okay, okay, you've proven your point. You don't have to gloat. I just can't believe it. I knew I was right, but jeez, this is amazing! Okay, could you just, I dunno, shut up about it now? I mean, it was just so perfect, I amaze myself! Jesus, would you just stop gloating? All twenty of them veered the same direction, center mass, EVERY TIME!
When Did I Become Such an Asshole?! by DragonXero2-01-05 Man, I'm beat today. Nate hitting you again? ... Yeah, battered women are funny. Asshole.
Ultra Offensive Comic by DragonXero2-07-05 Nigger nigger kike chink, beaner dago wop. Honkey cracker, nigger, spic, juden, WASP, queer! Sand nigger, sand nigger, dykey lesbo broad, fuck your PC and your mom, I just wanna screw.
Flaming Monkey Poo Stick! by DragonXero2-09-05 So, what are we going to do tonight? I was thinking we could go drinking. Dude, this isn't Scotland, you gotta be 21 to get in the bars. Well damn. How about we, um.. oh, you could buy me some beer! I am not buying you beer, dude. I still don't believe that your money is non-transferrable to american dollars. Flaming monkey poo stick!
Channeling by DragonXero2-20-05 Would you like a cookie? Sure! AuioAFlkj390fd#f. fdsaio40af90823fAfj #doiFFa3fg Hahaha I'm a pretty funny GUI! Okay, you can stop channeling Kaufman now.
Poor Timing by DragonXero2-20-05 September 12, 2001 You got burned like the people at the top of the world trade center! God you're a bitch. February 2, 2003 That blew like the Columbia! What the fuck is your issue? March 12, 2004 Your comedy routine bombed like the trains in Madrid! Jesus H Christ, you need to see a therapist.
Yeah, Too Soon by DragonXero2-20-05 December 27, 2004 Hey Carrot Top! You're more washed up than the Taiwanese! Okay, fuck you, I'm leaving. Too soon?
Communist Friends by DragonXero2-21-05 You should watch the Malcom X documentary on PBS tonight! Ummm, remind me why I should do that again? To cleanse yourself of the white deviltry! Actually, I'm quite happy with my white deviltry. WHITE DEVIL! Uh, dude, take a quick check in the mirror.
Communist Friends II by DragonXero2-21-05 All sex under the patriarchy is rape! That's not what your mom said. ALL CAPITALISTS SHALL DIE BY THE MIGHTY HAND OF COMMUNISM! Hey, remind me again of how well the people in the USSR dictated themselves freely. Well, they, uh, they had to have a leader because they were stupid people. I rest my case.
Slaves? by DragonXero2-24-05 Dude, that's, that's really cool! Yeah. Totally at my mercy. I mean, anything? Whatever you want? Completely. Where do I get a slave? Dude, I was talking about "Black & White", where the fuck were you?
Enter the Ninja! by DragonXero2-24-05 So, like I was saying, he totally went for it. My god, I can't belie- Suddenly... I AM A NINJA! So.. anyway, what were we talking about? The fiscal year.
Enter the Ninja II: Ninja Going Deep by DragonXero2-24-05 Oh god, oh that is so good.. yes, yes!!! MMMM, put it deeper in, p- *click* I AM A NINJA! *click* So, anyway, where were we? You were about to orgasm.
Enter the Ninja III: Moo Shu Ninja by DragonXero2-24-05 SUCKY SUCKY FI' DORRA! ME ROVE YOU RO- Inexplicably: I AM A NINJA! What we doing before? We whoring ourselves. For fi' dorra.
Enter the Ninja IV: He Naled Teh Ninja by DragonXero2-24-05 Life is horrible, life is bad. I want to end it. I will hammer this nail into my head with this hammer. Hey, you gotta do what you got- Redundantly: I AM A NINJA! What was I going to do again? I think you were going to build me a new desk.
Enter the Ninja V: Ninja on 32nd Street by DragonXero2-24-05 Ho ho ho! Prepare to eat hot lead, Christmas Zombie! Mrrr... mrrr... mr- Pointlessly: I AM A NINJA! Ho ho holy crap. I forgot what I was doing. Mrrrr?
Enter the Ninja VI: Fahrenheit Ninja Eleven by DragonXero2-24-05 So, here is what we do: We fly planes into the building, and they blow up! Achmed! That is bri- Allahly: I AM A NINJA! Shit. What was my plan again? We bake cakes and sell them for American money.
Enter the Ninja VII: Forrest Ninja by DragonXero2-24-05 So, anyway, I've been trying to figure out how to get her to take it in the butt. *squeak* *squeak squak squ-* Interruptingly: I AM A NINJA! Wait, who's butt what I wanting to put it in? *squeak* (translation: mine!)
Enter the Ninja VIII: Enter the Ninjas by DragonXero2-24-05 WE ARE NINJAS! WE ARE AWESOME NINJ- Endingly: I AM A NINJA! Wait, what were we saying we were? Accountants, I think.
The REAL Formula Here: by DragonXero2-24-05 Dick Joke/Fart Joke/Gay Joke Inside Joke Nail in the head and/or fire.