All comics by brycekain

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by brycekain
2-14-15
I want to talk to your supervisor right now!
You're talking on a phone in front of our corporate office. Why don't you come inside and talk face to face?
Or are you one of those pussies that can only be macho when they AREN'T face to face?

 

by brycekain
2-16-15
Jesus, you know I don't ask for much....
...but if you could see it in your heart...
...let me turnip pizza sausage the big boinky parade!
I'M THE IMAGINARY BUNNY FAIRY, TOO!

 

by brycekain
2-16-15
Honey, what are you doing in there?
Making comics!
Aren't you supposed to be working?
Don't bother me, woman! I paid good money for this shit!
This is what would happen every day if Strip Creator made a comic creating app for the iPhone...
***PFFFFT!*** OOOOOH YEAH....

 

by brycekain
2-16-15
Yes?
Hey, like, I was wikipedia-ing some stuff? And did you know that dark matter is a hypothetical kind of matter that cannot be seen with telescopes but accounts for most of the matter in the Universe?
Look, lady. For the last time: I'M GAY! Not some horny loser on the Big Bang Theory!
IT'S THE SAME FUCKING THING!

 

by brycekain
2-16-15
Merry Christmas, Mr. Towel-Head!
That is very offensive to me, my people, and my God in so many different ways that I can not be able to begin!
So what? You're like gunna blow me up or something?
Young man! You have much to learn about the people of the arabic culture. We have a rich and full history of...
Uh, TRANSLATE? I'm an American!
Oh, sorry. LALALALALA!

 

by brycekain
2-16-15
Ah, my little brown poopsie, you have nothing to worry about! Jacques will take uh good care of his little poop-poops.
Wait, what did you call me?
My eh Poops-poops! My eh Choco-LAT Delight. My Fudge Sick-el on a Ritz Crack-air! My WATERMEL...
I have a glock and I know where your balls are, motherfucker.
Quelqu'un est sur ​​leur cycle menstruel. Merde!

 

by brycekain
2-16-15
Remember back in the good ol' days when you weren't convicted for diddling?
Yeah........
You sick fuck.

 

by brycekain
2-16-15
*sniff sniff*
Yup, he bleached it.

 

by brycekain
2-16-15
*sniff sniff*
Yup, she bleached it!

 

by brycekain
2-16-15
Do you think he'll like it?
How do I know? I'm not God.
Hey! Remember back when we weren't dead?
You mean 6 minutes ago, right before you said "Hey! I'll pull on it, Santa!?"
I was not informed of his majesty's dietary intake this morning.
HE ONLY EATS TACO BELL!!

 

www.theuselessweb.com
Thank me later.
by brycekain, 2-16-15

 

by brycekain
2-17-15
I hear you're having a birthday soon! How old will the birthday boy be, hmm?
21 again this year? Oh my!
And I better not get any fucking Depends either.

 

by brycekain
2-17-15
The group has voted and you've been chosen to be sacrificed for the group's survival. We are not going to lie. The process will be painful...
...much like the upside down process of rendering pigs alive. We hate you. Choke on your blood. - The Group.
Aw you guys invited me to dinner! :)

 

by brycekain
2-17-15
Do I hear low prices?
How crazy are your low prices, Crazy Butch?
Did you just call me crazy?
Well, that's yer name, isn't it?

 

They're created by Bryce Kain.
by brycekain, 2-18-15

 

It's less work than Pandeism.
More farting for me!
by brycekain, 2-19-15

 

by brycekain
2-19-15
In the past several months I have been creating immature comic strips with an insane amount of jokes involving farts, racism, abortions, Hitler, and so on...
Over this course of time I have been high on medical marijuana which has effected my judgement. I have since then checked myself into rehab.
I also would like to note that I am lying and that I just farted. So this would also be a fart joke.
Dude! My mouth was open!

 

by brycekain
2-20-15
I've brought you here to show you the error of your ways. If you don't change soon, you will be dead in a year.
So you're the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come?
Do I LOOK LIKE like I'm the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come??
No, you look like a twink in a snuff film.

 

by brycekain
2-20-15
Let me just give it a little poke...
Looks like SOMEONE doesn't want his colonoscopy today!
I AM GOD'S HEMORRHOID!

 

by brycekain
2-20-15
Dear Americans, you are mean, cruel, heartless bastards with no regard for anyone else's feelings but your own! Signed, the Rest of the World.
Dear the Rest of the World: That's simply not true.
Some of us are secretly Canadian!

 

by brycekain
2-20-15
SPAAAAWN!!!!

 

by brycekain
2-20-15
My lad, do you know how to play "Oh Danny Boy?"
Ye sick fuck.

 

by brycekain
2-20-15
Ok, TOBOR model #D3D3D3... service my engine!
Oooh!
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww...
Well I meant my car, but FUCK JIFFY LUBE!

 

by brycekain
2-20-15
Sorry, but I'm gunna have to report this as a hate crime.
A HATE CRIME? But we're at WAR! HE WAS THE ENEMY!
Sir, you are clearly white and he is clearly asian.
But this guy's eyes are crossed out. It's SLANTY eyes that are asian.

 

by brycekain
2-20-15
You just wasted your time.
Oh, mighty Rockfish. Guide me as only your wisdom can!
No.
Did you know that your harsh words are making me horny?
I'm a rock PENIS, you cunt.
This would make more sense if I read this backwards.

 

by brycekain
2-20-15
Well this is it. I'm just going to leave you here by the doorstep and the nice lady inside will take care of you. Just ring the doorbell or something.
Why are you putting me up for adoption?
Oh, sweety...
If it were up to me you would have been an abortion.

 

by brycekain
2-21-15
He's a closeted homosexual with a pension for hate. His roommate is a gay bashing African American male.
He likes Beef Stroganoff and burning crosses on front lawns. His roommate is from Nigeria and likes to eat chitlins.
This fall on ABC Family, tune in to watch this year's funniest comedy: "The Wizard and the Nig-"
HEY!

 

by brycekain
2-21-15

 

by brycekain
2-21-15
*mumble* *mumble* ...color red and...
"What if the color red and "Shut Up" meant nothin"? Uh..... ok, I give up. You got any idea what that means?
No. I was busy painting the wall.
You're out of tampons.

 

by brycekain
2-21-15
mmph!
And in here we have a lovely kitchen set up...
OH GOD, WHY??? IT'S BURNING MY EYES! I CAN TASTE A LITTLE OF IT IN MY MOUTH! AND I JUST ATE BREAD SO IT'S LIKE A FART SANDWICH!
And then over here we have the living room...

 

by brycekain
2-21-15
Oh yes, Butch! I will marry you! But you must first locate the Hope Diamond. It's a beautiful, round gem and I would like you to gently place it into the palm of my hand.
That's a part of your vagina, right?

 

by brycekain
2-21-15
Up next on ABC's "The Wizard and the Nig"...
OH NO HE DIN'NT
He did! He said that you were a dirty porch monkey and that slavery would have been the best thing for you.
AW HELL NAH!
You have to understand, though. Not only is he a KKK Grand Wizard, but he also loves what he hates most. He trashes what he most desires. Jamiroquai, he wants to have your butt babies, dawg!
I'm so fucking confused...
It's simple. We're saying that ABC Family is racist and Mr. Kain is probably going to get sued by the NAACP over this comic. Want some chicken?

 

by brycekain
2-21-15
Hold it in... hold it in... hold it in... hold it..... ah shit!
*sniff sniff sniff* L'eau de Colon!
Groovy.

 

by brycekain
2-21-15
WELCOME TO [kwiky lube]. HOW MAY WE SERVICE YOUR [car or other small vehicle]?
I'll take the reach around service!
ERROR! WE DO NOT HAVE [reach around service]. PLEASE CLARIFY!
It's where you fuck me in the ass with the bill, but you jerk me off enough that I don't mind.
CUSTOMER HAS ORDERED THE [favorite politician special]. TAIL PIPE READJUSTMENT COMMENSING IN 5... 4... 3...
Now that's change I can believe in!

 

by brycekain
2-21-15
TOBOR-CAGE AN ABOMINATION! TOBOR-CAGE BEG GIRL TO KILL TOBOR-CAGE!
You have been created for my amusement and that is exactly what you will do!
*sigh* WHAT TOBOR-CAGE NEED TO DO?
Wow! Tonight's episode dealt with a lot of emotional topics, didn't it, George? What is the one thing you found to be the most important?
Probably that fisting a robot-cage with a Volkswagon tire can have dire consequences. And vice-versa.

 

by brycekain
2-21-15
I have brought shame to my family. Hari krishna is probably the only way I can bring honor back to my loved ones!
Hari kari.
Yes, hari kari. What did I say?
Hari krishna.
I'm sorry. I'm just mesmerized by the quality of your shoes. Where did you get such a lovely pair?
Your daughter's sweatshop.

 

by brycekain
2-21-15
He's a single, middle aged, lonely guy who's dedicated to his work. She's a sassy, no-nonsense park appliance.
He likes masturbating all day in peace and quiet. She loves to talk about pigeon shit from sun up to sun down.
Catch the brand new quirky comedy on ABC Family: Woody and the Bench!
CRACKA, I CAN STILL SEE YOU!

 

by brycekain
2-21-15
In a couple of previous comics, some jokes were made about the tv network ABC Family and how they may be racist.
Truth is: it was a random tv network pulled out of thin air to complete the first joke and then it just went on from there.
Mr. Kain felt regret about the jokes and decided to peruse a list of their fine quality programming.
He read one title on the ABC Family website, stopped browsing, and came here to Strip Creator to create this comic. What was that title again?
Baby Daddy.
Mr. Kain has released a statement and I'm quoting here.......... "Fuck all you racist motherfuckers."

 

by brycekain
2-21-15
I must pass so that I may do my firemanly duty!
YOU SHALL NOT PASS....
...WITHOUT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF A SPECIAL WE ARE HAVING ON MY VAGINA! IT'S A TWO FOR ONE DEAL!
How... um... how does... does that even... wait, what?
ROADHOUSE!

 

by brycekain
2-22-15
On a totally unrelated topic, I think Crabby should get a new character pic.
Indeed. I wonder if InJokester would be up for it? It's only fair.
Hey, remember back when we didn't know about sick fucks like Chubby and Kaenash?
Why couldn't he have just made an abortion joke like a normal person?

 

by brycekain
2-23-15
Be sure to tune in on Friday for the hilarious new ABC Family comedy: Froggy and the Stump!
Froggy, why did God let me live and kill mommy instead?
And why did Jesus take my arms and leave me down here all alone to fend for myself in the most agnonizing ways imaginable?
Join us Friday for more HILARIOUS QUIPS, CREPES, AND CARTONS OF CIGARETTES on Froggy and the Stump.
Ho Ho! Je vous ai attrapé en utilisant un programme de traduction, Chris Hansen!

 

by brycekain
2-23-15
(also known as "What if a bunch of Ragu-Clones® could pull the train?")
He better have done this out of love :(
♫♫ When I think aboout you I touch myself... Whoooooah ♫♫

 

by brycekain
2-23-15
Take a look at this random comic layout. I know what you might be thinking. It's going to be a fart joke, right? Or a big penis in anus joke. But I'd like to offer you a better punchline: Awareness.
You see, this is Maura. Age 22. Works hard, pays her rent on time. Has lots of friends. But Maura also has ulcerative colitis, which, if left untreated, could turn into stage 4 bowel cancer.
So when you start to make a fart joke using Maura, please remember: She's a huge slut, too.

 

by brycekain
2-26-15
So what are you in for?
I wrote a term paper on World War II.
That's not illegal.
It was on the origins of Hitler's anti-semetic views and the roots of his possible homosexuality.
But how...
I mean, you ask ONE kike to fuck you in the ass with a copy of Mein Kampf and oooooh noooo! Someone started World War III!

 

Jimmy Hoffa??
by brycekain, 3-06-15

 

by brycekain
3-06-15
Now that we have built a solid shelter, we'll continue forming our Utopia in the morning. I must say it has been a pleasure serving with all of you fine gentlemen here on the big red planet.
Yes, ma'am.
A pleasure, ma'am.
I'm the token black guy!
PSST! Is rape still legal here?
It won't be once I'm elected President of Mars. So I call dibs on the brown eye.

 

by brycekain
3-17-15
This particular comic has been created for the sole purpose of starting yet another comic set in dedication to Planet WTF.
Wow. That was a mouthful.
Like my dad.

 

by brycekain
3-25-15
You haven't been doing any comics lately. What gives?
Look, I've been busy with a lot of stuff, but come on. We both know that nobody on Strip Creator gives that much of a crap about where I've been or what I have been doing.
You're deflecting.
Fine. I'm gay and came out of the closet.
PLANETWTF???

 

by brycekain
3-27-15
Did you really come out of the closet? I mean, ok maybe it's not totally amazing since you're always talking about buttsex and Roadhouse all the time. Still, though...
Your silence is making me uneasy, sir.
If that's making you uneasy, grab your barf bucket. I'm about to fart a load of sea men.

 

by brycekain
3-28-15
Ok look, folks. It doesn't matter if I'm gay or not. What matters is Bush lied, people died. End of story.
You weren't supposed to say that line.
Oh suck my dick.

Showing page 18.

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