All comics by 80_Million_Fleas

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TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
Hold it! You can't cornhole me! My hamster has an apartment there!
Oh.. Well, alright. Say, could you do me a favor and flick that light switch on the floor?
Sure, I don't see the harm in it.
THIS IS AN EVICTION NOTICE!
OW!!! MY DIGNITY!

 

INSIDE JOKE ALERT!
Bee!
Arr!
Bee!
Where the hell did Katie go?
Say, do you know where the punchline is? I don't see one... CUNTZ.

 

So I say, “Those proletarians ain’t going to generate social awareness and overthrow the bourgeoisie by themselves!”
Ha, ha!
I hate the Czar.
Me too.

 

Oh, Snap! If I'm to get at least third place, I must post every mediocre comic I've EVER MADE.
The Average Fleasan Comic.
POLITICS POLITICS POLITICS. SOCIOLOGY!
TYPOS TYPOS TYPOS. HIPPOCRASY!
"As of my posting this, the latest comic on the site was comic #268613, so all entries have to be higher numbered comics than that."
.... Just shoot me now.
That can be arranged, Floody McFloodPants.

 
Alright! If we run around naked, wear sunglasses and not smile, the enemy wouldn't see us in the dark!
... I don't think that works so well with us.

 

Alright! If we get naked, put our white undies on our head and not smile, they won't find us against this cold, snowy backdrop!
You go on without me. I'm pretty sure the Soviets aren't as bad as pneumonia.

 

Alright! If we get naked, huddle together and not smile... We can hide in that large vat of cappichino!
.. Abu Ghraib as really changed you. First human Jenga, now this?! C'mon. Admit it. The Americans turned you gay.

 

Maybe it we get na.. No. Maybe if we not smile? Not that...
Or.. turn off the lights? No.. Rub ourselves in butter? No.
Admit it, T'Gar! We're screwed! The Orcs are gonna find us!

 

Serious Sammy Hagar: I'm not David Lee Roth
Cronic the Hemphog: Light It Up
Mr. Mario: High School Drop Out
Halo Kitty: Combat Meowed
Bolshevik, Bolshevik Revoultion: Czarist/Communist Dance Off!
Rammenstein 3D

 

Poon Raider 2
Marble Sanity
Age of Umpires
Final Phallic-y: Testicular Chronicles
Alien Hemroid
The Burbz: Sims with Indigestion

 

Robble Robble Robble!
Robble Robble Robble!
Robble Robble Robble!
Robble Robble Robble!
McD's Con 05!
Robble Robble Robble!
Jesus Christ! We all can't be the Hamburglar! That'd just be weird.

 

.. and now, a live report with Clint!
...As you know, it's Black History month! (Ironically the coldest, shortest month of the year.)
There have been many great African Americans through out our history. Fredrick Douglas, George Carver, W. E. B. Du Bois...
... As well as scores of others. But not stand out in our mind like Dr. King. ..And I've scored an exclusive interview with him!
Clint, I don't think that possible. At all. He's dead.
He's not dead. He's right here!!! Dr. King is right beside me!

 

Dr. King, how many degrees to you have?
I have two! A BA in Theatre and a PhD in K-8 Education.
This is clearly madness, Clint! That's not King! He's not even black!
Of course he's a king! He rules Ketlansynastan!
Bupkis! Of course I'm black! My Great Grampa was full blooded!

 

Alright, whatever! That's not Martin Luther---
---Hold, Hiktor! Martin Luther?
That guy has been dead for years!
I would have killed him too, if he nailed anything to my churches!

 

Not him! Dr. King! The one that had a dream!!!
...
... I had this one dream where I was having sex with my sister, but then she turned into a dog, but still kept on having sex with her.
You're fucked up. I'm out of here! Back to you, Hiktor Viktor Hector Vector.
... You didn't hear the part where my brother came in and took me from behind!

 
Ahh! It's Goatzilla!

 

You know, it's times like this I miss my home, beautiful sweet Earth. We've been in space for so long, looking at all the planets in and out of our system. I think it's just time that we return.
... Holy Hell! You can talk!

 

Hey! That's a cool outfit... but Halloween is over, asshole.
*click*
*click*
My Beans! Dear God, why did you chop of my beans?!

 

Kaddar's Blue has 7+ Posses. Russ, Blonde, Gabe and others have 4.
I'm bored. I wish I could do something.
I wish I could skimp down to my skimpies.
Black Charaters: No Action Posses what so ever!
Damn! You got big boobs.
I have big boobs.
This March, vote YES on more posses.
I'se be's a stereotype.
... at least my beans won't get chopped off like that guy in that one strip.

 

Kaddar's Blue has 7+ posses. Evil, Blonde, Gabe, Russ and many others have 4.
You know what's weird? This little thing ----> | ... What the fuck is | used for anyway?
Would you like a glass of water \~/?
African Americans: NO ACTION POSSES.
Ha Ha! I can do THIS with my arm AND play computer AND skimp down to my skimpies.
I wish I could blink.
Vote "No" on giving more action posses to Blacks.
Sponsored by the Movement to Give the Only Two Asians Action Posses.
....and viewers like you!

 

Oh, Snap! I got the squirts!! I don't think I could make it in time...
What that?! Someone needs my help! Superbowl.... AWAY!!!
.... Gaddamnit. Who bolted me to the floor?

 

That's insane! I'm a babe magnet. The only way YOU'LL ever get laid is crawl back into that shell you hatched out of!
I maybe a virgin, but at least I don't have sex with kids!
I'm telling you! It was THIS BIG.
No... It was this big. I saw the same damn thing, Senor.
What? I though you into that safe sex crap.
Not THAT much Luke. If I wanted me on metal action, I'd fuck a toaster.

 

But ya. I was all like, "You better not do a damn thing to me, skumbag!" and before he could lay a finger on my udder, I kicked him in the head. I still hear he's in the hopsital! Pretty cool, huh?
Moo.
... You're no fun to talk to.

 

Hey! Aren't you that guy that used to be on Word?
Yes. Yes I am.
Aren't you the guy that shuts the fuck up and fills my fucking order?!
... No, but I did play a bit role in "10,000 Explostions and a Supernova".
.... God, you're annoying.

 

Cute. ... But you can't trick me. I can still see that you're human!
*click*
*click*
Oww! My Beans! My Robo... Wait. I have no beans. ...and where did you get all that blood?!

 

So, you've came back for me, eh? To finsh me off?! Not this time, asshole!
*click*
*click*
OWwww! Did you have to chop off my wing-dang-doodle too?

 

Hah! I found you! Looks like it's payback time, Senor El Bitchface!
*click*
*click*
.... Did you really think taking off my mask would do something?
I just lost my cock and balls!!! Do you EXPECT me to be thinking clearly?!

 

Am I doing this right, Mr. Hugginkiss?
I'm afraid not. You will not be allowed to join the Free Mason Society.
Do you think stem-cell research is moral? I think it isn't.
I dunno if you're a good judge of ethics. You're dating a pink donkey, after all.
Getting a little dry eyed, Hans?
Nien! I vill bet dur eyes are heavy dough, Kunta.

 

Circa 1987.
Quit eating that catus!
Circa 2000.
Studies show that eating a lot and not exercising makes you fat!
Bah. Whatever... It's gamin' time.
Circa 2005.
80MF! You have borderline high blood pressure.
What? I couldn't hear you through his scrumptious, salty Thickburger.

 

Circa 2007.
You have to get out of here! The Iranians and the North Koreans are raining hot atomic death all over America!
... Right after this meal.
Circa 2009.
Well... I could give you this rat for that Mason Jar of cockroaches.
I have a better idea. I'll kill you and eat you and your--- gah! My grease covered heart!
Circa 2010.
Do ya want this bowl of Chilli?! You can't have it! You want it now? You can have it! Maybe now? Nooope! Hahaha! I love doing that.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! YOU ASSHOLE.

 

Holy Hell! I can do two pannels now!
... Wooooo?
They're still gonna be completely retarded and miss spelt.

 
If somethingawful.com and Nazism was combined.
Alright! Du DnD Dorks, Ravers, Juggalos un Furries step indu the showers. Koreans vill form a seperate line du be shot in du face. Repeatedly.

 

So... How about those Iraqi Sunni? Not a very... Sunni depostion, eh?
*cricket, cricket*
This is an Artsy Pannel.
Why do you have so much cartoon porn on this computer?
Would you believe me if I told you that hentai is easier and safer to accumulate than regular porn?

 

Awright! We got erselves a dire sich'er'ation in Social Security. I've laid down my plan, but I still wanna har yer sug'jest'chuns.
CORNHOLE THE ELDERLY!!
Sucki Sucki?
Five dolla?
What?! Why the hell am I here? I have damn physics doctorine that I could be putting to good use. ...by themselves?
This doesn't involve insertion of anything into my ass! I'm leaving.

 

Hi! I'm Viktor Hiktor Hector Vector!
... and I'm his Clone. You're watching Pop TV's Coverage of the 2005 CC 275 Awards!
Tonight, we've already seen a few people win awards. Such as the Priest from "Love is in the Air". He won Best Boy Grip!
What can I say? He was a slippery little guy, but I held on!
I hate you.
Friendly also won "Best New Comedic Director"... Though, he was the only one in the category.
Then why in the hell did you make my throw a "BNCD" afterparty? I'll ask my roomate, the sociologist. He should know.
...You're STILL wearing that brown make-up?!

 

The Inflatable_Man won "Both Sides of the Coin" for Stereogripes and Ten Seconds!
Shut yo mudda fuhkin mouf an' hand me all yo mizz un-eh!
Here's 50 dollars. Buy yourself a dictionary.
kramer_vs_kramer might have won an award for his "Bob Marley" comic, but he didn't make it. Pop TV sent a hitman to chop off his beans for retribution.
... My What?!
Hold it! Looks like they're ready to give out the final award!

 

And the winners for "Best Comedic Strip or Strip Series Creators" are...
JESUSSANDWICH and Biped tie for third...
FPD and Kaufman are tied for Second...
And the winner.. of the CC 275 contest is.....
The Children of the World!
This is bullshit! Bumrush the Stage!!

 

Later...
Chaos. That's the one word that could describe the 2005 CC 275 Awards. After what appears to be a bad joke, millions of angry peeps bum-rushed the stage.
Come back here! You little cocksucker!
Damnit! How come I haven't Quantum Leap'd out of here?!
The true winner of the Contest was.. dcomposed! Many combolations! CC 276 is now in your power!
Cunts!

 

C'mon, you creepy ass pyscho clown! Where in the hell did your hide those kids' bodies?!
You'll never know, Lizardwitz! I'll never tell you!
Later...
Damnit! I've been badgering that fucking sicko circus reject for hours and I still don't have any leads!
Well.. Maybe you should try a plea-bargin. You know, appeal to his ... needs.
What are you hinting at, O'Connor?
Fuck IT.

 

Captain Ladies Man! Quit fucking around! There's a bomb inside of this novelty fake vagina! We have to disarm it!
Here's my number. Call my some time, sugar tits.
Captain!
Alright. I know how to disarm this poon bomb. You need to *ahem* with it repeatedly until you you *ahem* and the whole damn thing short circuts. After which, the bomb is harmless.
Slow down, what are you trying to say?!
Fuck it.

 

You know how women are like wine?
Not really. How are women like wine?
You need to lock them in a dark cellar until they're old enough to enjoy!
...

 

So.. You're the big J man himself.
Yep.
...
...
.. Eh.. You haven't heard me moaning your name while I beat off to Rescue Rangers porn, have you?
I'm going to be.... Over here. Away from you.

 

RARR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU.
Not so fast! I found a hole in your logic.
What do you mean?
You have no wang.
Woah.... You're the first that's ever noticed.
I know... (Where's the punchline? Maybe it's cunts.)

 

RARR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
Not so fast. I found a loophole in your logic.
What do you mean?
You have no wang.
Are you kidding me?! Here's Mai Wang.
Sucki Sucki?

 

RAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
Oh nos! Please don't cornhole me! Ahh!!!
Hold it.. I meant the game. You see, we play this game in Ohio where you throw sacks of dried corn into circular holes. Kinda like skeet ball.
Oh. Well, that sounds like fun. Where's these holes at?!
*click*
50 POINTS!
OWW! MY DIGNITY!

 

38 BC
I need you help, Ballsukidus. I've resenty started liking this girl named Chelo.. I have a good thing going with my peeps, but... what should I do with her?
Fuck 'er.
1964
Hey! Random honkey! I just went over to Mecca not to long ago... and there I saw the most beautiful thing: Equality. However, I don't know how the Nation's gonna take it. What should I do?
Fuck 'em.
2002-ish
I just got these papers that said "Iraq has nu-ca-lur weapons" written in yellow crayon. I don't trust these reports, but we needs a place for my daddy's oil company to expand. What should I do?
Fuck it.

 

What's that you got in the mail?
Says here that ASWAN has nominated me to receive their highest award.
Wow, what an honor!
It also says I need to be at their downtown headquarters in 30 minutes to accept it. Could you give me a ride?
Later...
I'm not for sure if this is a reliable mode of transportation.
Quit your bickering! The Japanese have been making fine cars for years.

 

MULTAN, Pakistan (AP) - A tribal council in Pakistan has ordered the betrothal of a 2-year-old girl to a man 40 years older to punish her uncle for an alleged affair with the man's wife...
I do...
Agobba Goblle gogg ru ru bealgra goo bop!
This is their strip.
Honey, I'm home!
Goo goo ga gibble grog!

 

First Year.
Wow... I feel like I can spend my whole life with you.
Twain..
Second Year.
Ahh... I had a rough day killing American infidels! Go make me a ham sandwich.
Gobata Twruck Yegaldt Doll Yuahatanhaungao pwain goes boom!
Third Year.
Honey! We haven't had sex in forever! My balls are turning blue... Please, let us make love.
Yur bad man. Go away!

 

Welcome to McStripCreator How may further humiliate myself... I mean serve you?
I think I'll just have the JESUSSANDWICH sandwich, a Phryed PhreakyChinillia and the Kaufman cola.
The what?! That asshole! My lawyer is gonna here about this.
Oi! You likeness being used for a sandvich? I'll sue the pants of the schmucks!

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