All comics by BigFrank105

 

by BigFrank105
7-21-03
I AM TOBOR! I KILL YOU ALL! I RAPE YOUR TOWNSFOLK! YOU DO WHATEVER I SAY!
Uh, Tobor, this is Hell. I am the Lord of Hatred and you will do as I say, dumbass.
Wait, you mean to say Tobor is in hell?
That's right...
What did I do to deserve this? The fact that I raped 1,359,492,034 people?
No! You took THREE little ketchup packets from McDonalds when you knew you only needed TWO!

 

by BigFrank105
7-21-03
How dare you send Tobor to Hell! Tobor rape Lord of Hatred!
Not so fast, I am the Lord of Destruction, Baal. You must have been talking to my brother Mephisto.
Tobor not care! Tobor rape all!
That is enough! It is time for you to undergo the worse torture you have ever seen!
Huh? Where is Tobor?
It looks like you're writing a letter. Would you like help?

 

by BigFrank105
7-21-03
Okay, here she comes. I have to ask her to the dance, but I can't say something stupid like I always do! Damn! I just gotta be myself! Agh here she is!
Hi Tim.
Hey baby! I'm gonna need a library card cuz I'm checkin you out!
Fuck!

 

by BigFrank105
7-21-03
Okay Tim, you really screwed up last time. Maybe the trick isn't to be yourself. Yeah... That's it.
Uh, hi Tim.
Hey, your freckles do a good job of covering up your pimples!
FUCK!!!

 

by BigFrank105
7-21-03
Okay, this is it. Michelle is always the first one out of Chemistry class. As soon as she comes out I'm gonna take a deep breath, close my eyes and ask her!
Will you go to the dance with me?
What the fuck did you just say?
Oh, didn't I tell you, Tim? Michelle is sick today.
...fuck......

 

by BigFrank105
8-09-03
File 93% Complete
Yessssssss! I can't wait to see the new Super Ninja Raiden Surfer IX video game trailer!
File Done!
Let's see... GamePro gives it thumbs up... Available on the PS2, Game Cube, and X-Box... Wait a minute? X-BOX???
No! The world is not coming to an end! Quit asking!
You sure? You might wanna check again. I hear there may be a Sega-Microsoft merger!

 

by BigFrank105
8-09-03
Eh? What's this?
...and only here on QVC can you get this AMAZING CRYSTAL JESUS HOOD ORNAMENT for thirteen payments of $19.95!
What blasphemy! I will banish you to hell!
Ah hell! Now I'm going to miss "Teen Titans"!

 

by BigFrank105
8-09-03
Guess his T-Shirt was right

 

by BigFrank105
8-10-03
Hi, welcome to "Cthulu Talk" The weekly celebrity interview show with me, Cthulu, a Zamorakian Vision of Terror! Today's guest is Brad Pitt! Welcome Brad!
Hey, thanks for having me Cthulu!
The "C" in Cthulu is silent, Brad.
Oh, sorry about that.
Think nothing of it, are you ready to be torn apart by invisible blades?
Sure am!

 

by BigFrank105
8-10-03
Dad, why do my older sisters and I have such weird names?
Well, it's our family's tradition to name our kin after the first thing we see after they're born.
Ah...
That's why your sisters' names are Morning Dew and Star Night.
Okay, thanks dad!
No problem Two Birds Fucking.

 

by BigFrank105
8-13-03
Okay, this is it. I'm just going replace the shingle. Nothing big. I'm not gonna pound a nail into my head. I'm DEFINITELY not going to pound a nail into my head.

 

by BigFrank105
8-14-03
Well, my doctor's diagnosis says that I have bugs in my brain.
And all I have to do to get em out is...
In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have done that...
Rarrr!

 

by BigFrank105
8-16-03
Have you lost weight?
Fuck off.

 

by BigFrank105
8-21-03
Jesus! I need your help! Everyone I meet is trying to kill me and I don't know why! I need your help!
Give me some sort of sign!
Aghhhhh!!!
Ha!

 

by BigFrank105
8-21-03
College is a big step for many of America's youth. No one really seems to know what it's like! Here's how nerds perceive college.
Oh how I love college! Nothing but Computer Labs, Atriums, and Libraries! Yale is a wonderful college!
I agree Matthew! Now let's study to inch our GPA even higher!
Or how how horny teen virgins see it:
Oh you're the hottest freshman on campus! Just how did a cheerleader senior like me ever meet you?
Don't you remember? We were both drunk at the nude co-ed basketball tournament!
And here's what just about everyone else is looking forward too:
Woooo!!! Yeah! This is the best frat party this weekend!
Has anyone seen my pants?

 

by BigFrank105
8-24-03
Hey Roger, what's going on?
I just got a letter from my girlfriend. She's breaking up with me, burning my clothes, and running away with my life savings to Tijuana.
Well, things could be worse.
HOW IN THE HELL COULD THINGS BE WORSE THEN THIS?
Do I really have to say?
Touché...

 

by BigFrank105
8-24-03
So, uh, do you wanna go out sometime?
Sure. But don't tell anyone.
Yeah, it'd be hard to understand because we work together and all...
No, it's not that.
The what?
I don't want anyone thinking that I'm hanging out with you on purpose.

 

by BigFrank105
8-24-03
Your horroscope says bad things are coming your way!
You actually believe that stuff?
Rarr! Tobor cornhole!

 

by BigFrank105
8-24-03
Hiya, folks. It's me, Roger. You may have known me from my various comics in which I pound nails into my head.
Although you may have though it was funny when I messed up on my house, was diagnosed with brain bugs, or was conned by my girlfriend, I was driven to despair.
I thought hammering a nail into my head could get me out, but all it did was bring me into a horrible slump which I now regret. So now I'm going to let my readers decide what I should do!
Adam from Kankakee, IL writes "It would be really funny if you pounded a small metal spike into your head"
See? Isn't this better than me driving a nail into my head?

 

by BigFrank105
8-26-03
Wahahahaha!!! I am Roger! I have killed once and I shall kill again!
Ack..
Honestly, who the hell didn't see that coming???

 

by BigFrank105
8-28-03
1953
Hey Lou, the boys need you in the mines right now.
Forget it! I'm on my coffee break!
1983
Can I have a cheeseburger and some jalapeno poppers?
Forget it! I'm on my coffee break!
Now
Medic! We need you! We got a man down!
Forget it! I'm on my coffee break!

 

by BigFrank105
8-28-03
We ask BigFrank105's characters what they were doing when BigFrank made his 75th comic!
Cornholing Hu-man in Prison!
Helping people write letters!
Plotting a scheme to blow up the White House and set off a nuke in DC! But I couldn't because it was a religious day. DEATH TO AMERICA!
I was busy shoving a pineapple up Hitler's ass.
Gettin wasted...
Does it take a fucking moron to guess what I was doing???

 

by BigFrank105
9-05-03
Sorry about that last comic! I accidently hit the save button! Anyway, we join Tim as he goes to an LSU Tigers game.
Wow! I can't believe I'm going to an actual LSU game! This is the greatest moment in my life!
Tickets please. Oh, and may I remind you about our Tiger Stadium alcohol policy?
It's okay dude, I don't have any liquor on me.
That's the point.
Lord, I thank thee...
Tell you what, I'll give you a bottle of Jack Daniels if you promise me you'll get drunk by kickoff.

 

by BigFrank105
9-18-03
What is this place?
Huh?
This huge gaping arena completely devoid of any human life!
Oh, this is Kent State Stadium. Today is their season opener.
Oh... Well where's the opposing team, then?
Dude, this is Kent State, we're lucky if the home team shows up.

 

by BigFrank105
9-24-03
Puppeto the Pokemon tries to find a new job
Man, where does a finger puppet find a job in this Godforsaken city?
Well, I imagine anything can be better than being a Pokemon... Hey, that place is hiring!
Guess he brings a new meaning to "Pokemon"!
So how was your first day working at the proctologist?
FUCK YOU!!!

 

by BigFrank105
9-24-03
I claim this land in the name of Jesus!
Screw that! We claim it in Jesus' name!
You have failed to cooperate! We will destroy you, for Jesus is on our side!
Fat chance! Jesus is with us! We will be victorious!
Hey Jesus, are you coming to watch the Season Premiere of "The Bachelor" or what?
Hang on a sec, I gotta see how this turns out.

 

by BigFrank105
9-25-03
...
...
...
...
HA! You blinked! I win the war!
Asswipe...

 

by BigFrank105
10-04-03
BOO! I AM A BLOODTHIRSTY GHOST!
You don't scare me.
I may not scare you, but I have access to something that will!
What?
Hello sir! I represent B&C Insurance Group!
AGH! IT BURNS!!!

 

by BigFrank105
10-06-03
AH! FRESH HUMAN BLOOD! BEWARE NEWBIE, FOR YOU WILL BECOME MY SLAVE!
Such a rude mentor! I simply cannot believe that Kaufman fellow put us together!
SILENCE! I WILL NOT HANDLE SUCH INSOLENCE! DO AS I SAY OR PREPARE FOR THE CONSEQUENCES!
I cannot deal with anyone more shouting! I'm going out to the grounds to play a game of croquet! I bid good day to you sir.
YOU INSANE FOOLISH... wait a minute... croquet? Wait for me!!!

 

by BigFrank105
10-06-03
Here we see two interesting specimens: A bully and a nerd. Watch as they intermingle.
Fag.
You wouldn't be saying that if I was wearing my Captain Kirk underpants.
Recently, we placed a bully and a nerd in an isolation chamber for a day. Let's see how they are now.
Things seem to be getting better!
I've got to admit, I've never crippled someone in a wedgie before. You're pretty brave, but you're still a fag.
Thanks, I'm wearing my Captain Kirk underpants.

 

by BigFrank105
10-06-03
Here are two more interesting specimens: A desparate virgin and the captain of the cheerleding team.
You smell beautiful today.
Freak.
Another simple 24-hour isolation chamber test will prove if these two creatures can coexist.
Ah, love is in the air!
Holy shit! I can't believe you slept with me!
Don't flatter yourself. YOU try going 24 hours without sex.

 

by BigFrank105
10-11-03
Well, Bob, now that we've lost our jobs as telemarketers, what are we to do?
I'm not sure Bill. The job market is already as tight as it is.
Well, there's gotta be SOME way that screw up dead beats like us can thrive in our economy!
Hmmm...
Our Top Story Tonight: Ballot Counting positions in California have all been filled by ex-telemarketers. All hell is surely to break loose.
That already happened. Have you seen how far the Cubs have made it in the playoffs?

 

by BigFrank105
10-13-03
Hey Tim, how are ya?
Pretty bad Trenchcoat Ted, Angie just sent me a nasty letter saying she's breaking up with me.
I don't mean to catch you off the rebound, but I'll bet I could find you a nice older girl.
REALLY? Awesome! What do I need?
"All you need is a shovel, Tim"... I swear to God I'm gonna kick that fucker's ass.

 

by BigFrank105
10-13-03
A stray cat! I will pet it.
One pat later..
Ah! I am in fact a fairy. And since you have rubbed me, I shall grant you one wish!
...Can I rub you again?
Look, just because you pet the pussy once doesn't mean you can pet it again!

 

by BigFrank105
10-15-03
Did you hear? Boss is making us increase our quota by making us pick over 300 kiwis a day with no raise in pay!
That's a lot of kiwis!
Yeah, and we need to x-ray each individual kiwi or else they will be deemed void and unsuitable for resale.
This job blows! I came to California looking for hopes and dreams! Not 14 hour days in the field!
Well, I suppose you could be an outfielder for the San Diego Padres. They stay out in the field only slightly less.
I'd rather take the place of the kid in the Mazda commercials who goes "Zoom Zoom!"

 

by BigFrank105
10-15-03
This is Death: Soul-Taker since 12,403,392 B.C.
Welcome to Hell. I am Death, I am here to take your soul.
No! No! You can't!
Recently the economic slump has caused his employer to replace him with someone more qualified, forcing Death to resign.
Well Death, recent polls show you aren't too evil anymore. And your pay of 300 Damned Souls a week is a bit too much. I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go.
No! No! You can't!
Fortunately, the undead adjust well.
Welcome to Burger Barn. I am Death, I am here to take your order.
Hey, you're the dude that took my Uncle away.

 

by BigFrank105
10-15-03
Damn! All these stupid n00bs keep irritating me! I think I'll vent my anger by drawing the most hideous, dispicable thing imaginable!
It looks like you're writing a letter! Would you like help?
On second thought...

 

by BigFrank105
10-16-03
I went to the Cubs Game last night at Wrigley Field.
You're a Marlins fan, huh?
Who told?

 

by BigFrank105
10-18-03
*click*
zzzzzzzzzzzz...
Hey, what were you doing sleeping in my room?
This is MY room. What are you doing in here?
Agh, jeeze. I'm sorry Joe, but this role playing isn't doing anything for me. Can't we stick to normal sex?
If you want, but I still think you should do it dressed as a garbage man and I should whip you with a sock full of chicken fat.

 

by BigFrank105
10-22-03
Hey look! It's Marceau the Mime!
Yo that G! Marceau I be!
Uh, dude? Mimes are supposed to be speachless, emotionless, and French. You're just a jive talkin wigger.
Oh yeah? Marceau gonna be right back with a few changes to my steeze!
Well, dressing up as George Bush makes you speachless and emotionless, but how are you French?
Doofus, look at my manicure!

 

by BigFrank105
10-22-03
Hey Jesus, did you go to that party last night?
Shut up...
What's wrong? And why are you on that cross?
...
This is the last time I believe Judas when he says he's going to get me nailed.

 

by BigFrank105
10-22-03
After reading my last three comics, I think everyone can come to two conclusions: my computer is slow and laggy, and my mouse button got stuck.

 

by BigFrank105
10-23-03
Boy, how much crap do you think gets thrown in here on a daily basis?
Hard to say...
Whoa, where am I? Last thing I remember I was being eaten by a giant then going through the intestines...
...but I'd say A LOT!

 

by BigFrank105
10-27-03
Welcome to the show! I'm Richard Head, and with me is BigFrank105! Recently, BigFrank105 has made his 100th comic. How does it feel?
Pretty good I guess, it took basically a whole year to do it, so I'm pretty impressed with myself and---
---Hey hey! That's great kid! Now do you have anyone you'd like to thank?
Actually, there IS one person who couldn't make it here tonight because of an *ahem* run in with the law...
HOW WAS TOBOR SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT CORNHOLING HU-MAN WOULD PUT ME IN PRI-SON?
Cornholing isn't the only sexual act that will put you in prison, big boy. Believe me, I know.

 

by BigFrank105
10-27-03
Great, Tim! We're lost! I don't even know what city we're in!
Excuse me sir, what city is this?
This city? Why, this is Jerk City!

 

by BigFrank105
10-30-03
Hm, Jason's house is the last one on the block. Well, since ROBOTNIK DIED, I'll ring the bell.
Trick or TreAIEEEEEE!!!
YOU'LL NEVER GET YOUR HANDS ON MY TWIZZLERS, KIT-KATS, AND TWIX!!!
Whoops, hehe. Sorry about that kid. I thought you were the IRS.

 

by BigFrank105
11-01-03
Welcome to BOREDOM! It's a new series of comics I'm making that are less coherent than my usual ones. They will rely on crude and stupid jokes. If anyone has suggestions, please feel free to tell me.
My house was TPed last night.
Dude, that sucks!
Actually, it's not as bad as you would think.
Why?
I have explosive diarrhea, and having all that extra toilet paper isn't exactly a burden.
Ah...

 

by BigFrank105
11-01-03
Hiya, Joe.
Howdy do, Ern.
Seen Ed around?
Not since sensitivity training.
So the plan is we hire some black people to fake kidnap Ed and take him around in the ghetto until he respects black people!
I like it!!!

 

by BigFrank105
11-04-03
Before "24"
Ford sucks! Who wants a Mustang? The Mazda RX-7 is the car to drive!
I hear that!
After "24"
Ford rules! They give us an hour of uninterrupted "24"! Who knew they made cars?
I hear that!

 

by BigFrank105
11-07-03
Well Kenny, we found your car and returned the continuum transfunctioner!
You're my boy, Blue!!!
I did the stuff, now SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!
Sorry, but I gave it to the Negro College Fund.
I hate you Kenny...
Don't be hatin!

Showing page 2.

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