All comics by Bunkster

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by Bunkster
9-03-03
When the mic is turned off...
Hey Bunkster, what is the fricking deal...asking me which chick is hotter when one of them is right there, you cocksucker
I just wanted to put you on the spot and see how you handle pressure. You said you wanted to bang both of them?
Yeah, but that's not the point. I try to lie and come up with cool sounding answers if the questions aren't off-the-wall
You don't need to lie...I love it when my guests tell the truth. So, what's your views on gay cripple porn?
Oh yeah, that's real mature...fly that finger a little closer and see what happens buddy. Get back here, turd! My interview isn't over yet!

 

by Bunkster
9-06-03
Another all-to-typical night in #Spacehamsters
So, how is everyone this fine Saturday evening?
*cricket chirps*
On no, this is not good
I am so famished. I guess I could eat this bag of prunes *nrghf gulp gulp* Oh, hi there, Faye
You are weird, Bunkster
Not good at all...
Do you know what is going to happen when I pressurize this system with a few beers? C'mere and pull my finger, Faye
ZIIIIINNNNNNGGGGG

 

by Bunkster
9-08-03
Watching ICY get head from his new asian girlfriend: Free
Hey, you loosers go get your own biatches!
Mnnnff..slurp slurp
Watching ICY get busted for exposing himself in public: Free
Yep...
Sir, could I see some identifi.....nevermind. You left it in your pants, didn't you?
Watching ICY spin around rapidly, trying to fling his girl and her stuck lips off his frozen metal cock: Priceless
Thlow down, my lipth are hurthing

 

by Bunkster
9-11-03
Ahh, here we are in sunny Cancun. This will surely get me warmed up enough to get my new girlfriend unstuck
It better, or I'll thtart biting thoon
ICY flips the switch.
Oh, wait. What does this button do? ....auto defrost...wonder what that does?
sssss POP
Don't hurt me.
I'm not, I'm making you Bunkster's bitch.

 

by Bunkster
9-11-03
So Bunkster...I wanted to thank you for getting me stuck to a frozen metal robot.
No problem, baby. How did you get unstuck?
Well dumb-ass ICY found a defrost switch...
Oh yeah. I forgot to mention that after you got stuck to him, I had it installed
I'll fucking kill you, bastard...... Oh yeah, beat me, baby.

 

by Bunkster
9-11-03
Well thanks to you, my new girlfriend left me.
Bah, don't worry about it. This is Cancun ffs. This place is littered with fresh tail.
Well, now that you put it that way, I am known already for having a girl stuck on my dick. But what about those big beach muscle-heads?
No problem. I'll be your bodyguard until you can hook up.
Yeah right. YOU? You're a stumpy little runt. You think you can fight?
It's the advantage of having to stand on your hands...you can kick ass without ever loosing your balance.

 

by Bunkster
9-11-03
Hmm...I wonder if ICY knows I was watching him get his ass kicked when I told him I'd be his bodyguard...
Best part is, I don't think he even realizes that I ate his tacos, too.
Hey Bunkster. Got any food? I'm starving.
Well, I have this jar that I shat in and Lyam fucked to see if it would feel like anal sex.
Oh jeez, that thing's got to be a year old by now. Oh well...does it have any corn?

 

by Bunkster
9-11-03
Bunkster, this food tastes like shit.
That's because it IS shit, genius.
Bah frick this. Let's go hit that taco stand over there.
Well, I kinda already went to the taco stand. Had to have a snack while watching that cop kick your ass.
You watched me get my ass kicked?!? And why can't we go to the taco stand?
Well, some of your blood splattered on one of the tacos and I tried to return it for a free one.

 

by Bunkster
2-02-04
Another atypical night in #Spacehamsters on planetarion IRC
Let's see what Bunkster and t3h spacehamsters gang are doing tonight...
[19:34] * Bunkster has joined #spacehamsters
Damn, he's got his kid on his lap again... *sigh* more drool on my keyboard
Sup ICY? Jr's here on my lap. He's fjuckuing up muy tyuping.
Smart kid...
You should let him type. If he starts making sense, then we'll get scared.
;KJUYRTEDL MICYISGAY9 866SCMNJIUGJN

 

by Bunkster
2-02-04
I fucking miss Oye.
Why do you miss Oye? He's a little bitch.
DON'T CALL MY BITCH A BITCH, YOU BITCH!
RAAAR! Now you made me turn into Bad ICY!! Watch helplessly as I pillage this town and rape your women!!
Uhhh...I think they forgot to install your penis post-production here, buddy.
Oh shit! I didn't even realize!! I wonder if this is covered under my extended warranty?

 

by Bunkster
2-02-04
Soooo...you're going "pillaging," huh?
Yes! Watch me crush the puny humans under my superior hardened endoskelatal feet!
Ok there, buddy. You have fun out there. DON'T FORGET YOUR HAT!!
RAAAAAAR!!! Run away, pathetic mortals! There is no place to hide!!
Ahh...they grow up so fast. Next thing you know, they are out on their own.
MUAHAHAHA THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO!! MY WRATH WILL HAVE NO... Ok... Dammit!! Ok, who parked in my spot? Honestly!! You fucking people.

 

by Bunkster
2-02-04
Hey Bunkster! Check this shit out!
What?!? ICY, is that you?
Yeah, I had Oye make me an invisibility potion. I was getting too self-concious about my missing penis while in Bad ICY form.
You dumbass...why don't you just turn back into good ICY?
Well, he DID make me a really sweet offer on a protection from evil +2 spell, but you're the only guy who'll hang out with me, so I went for invisibility.
Wow, I'm touched. Hey, will you take this camcorder in the women's room at the YMCA for me?

 

by Bunkster
2-02-04
I'm sure you're wondering why I summoned you here, servant.
Well, erm...I was still kinda stuck on the whole "talking baby" thing...
SILENCE!! You are now in my underground evuhl genius command post. I brought you here to change my evil diaper.
*sniff sniff* Whew! That IS one evil diaper! Now uhhhh...where is the flush handle?
There is no flush handle, moron. You have to take my diaper off, wipe my ass with a thin paper tissue, then put a fresh diaper back on.
Heh...I must respectfully decline. You see...I have no ass, and therefore am unsuited due to the prerequisites of this particular job.

 

by Bunkster
2-02-04
That\'s it! GUARDS!!!!! Sieze ICY!!
Oh crap. A kid this little pushing me around? If Bad ICY were here, he wouldn\'t take this!
Take him away to the evil plastic surgeon. Give him an ass and make him pay for the disrespect he\'s shown to me!
Oh fuck, here we go...
Well, what do you have to say for yourself now, ICY?
You\'re a real fucking comic, aren\'t you?

 

by Bunkster
2-02-04
No no no...it's all wrong! Take him back and get it right this time!
This sucks on sooo many levels
Next!!
Dude, if you hook Bunkster up to my suit...I swear I will hang you with your own umbelical cord.
Holy crap! Who the hell is my plastic surgeon?!
I'm so fucked up right now, I don't know if I'm your plastic surgeon or the working end of a fat man's rectal thermometer...

 

by Bunkster
2-19-04
Wow, it's Janet Jackson! I never...
You want me to sing you a song, right? What have you done for me la...
No no, it's not that. I was wondering if you could...
Oh, show you the tit, right? I don't think so, you sick little man. I'm out of here!
I WAS WONDERING IF YOU'D ASK YOUR BROTHER TO STOP STALKING ME!!!
Hey there little fellow. Want to go have some candy at my Neverland Ranch? We could have a slumber party!

 

by Bunkster
11-15-05
DOB antics: Take 1
So um PK... what's this about you liking to shave your ass?
I don't really want to talk about it. I was pretty drunk last night...
Why not? I mean it's not like you're drunk and just saying stuff
I hope nobody remembers this in the morning...
You know this is probably going to burn your ass when you leave here next year right?
Good gawd, it burns NOW!

 

by Bunkster
11-15-05
DOB antics: Take 2
Wow - too much coffee...and I'm giggling about our chat.
Fuck that!
Earl and Deb are next door watching a movie. Earl keeps popping his head in to see what I'm giggling about.
If I were Earl I wouldn't be givin' a shit what u were doing - know what I mean?
b b bb b b bbb bb b b b b bb b bbb b bb bb b b b b b b
Screen clearing tactic?

 

by Bunkster
11-24-05
DOB Antics: Take 3
My dog scares herself when she farts...that makes her kick the door she lays by and it scares her even more
I know, right?
My dog lives outside, but when my cats fart, it stinks so bad!
Pussy farts are the worst...
HAHAHAHA I can't believe you just said that!
Yeah, it's like having sex doggy-style on the first date.

 

by Bunkster
11-24-05
DOB Antics: Take 4
So I spent two fricking days downloading that Bruce Lee flick, "Enter the Dragon"...
Uh-huh...
And I was all excited to watch it... but when I started it, it was a bi-sexual porno.
You mean the kind with like 2 chicks and a guy?
No... the kind with two guys and a chick and they were ALL doing stuff...TOGETHER.
Thank God you didn't download "Fists of Fury."

 

by Bunkster
11-26-05
DOB Antics: Take 5
Ok, I totally think this thing is done farting now.
Sweet! Now, get it out of here! Take it to Lary's house. He'll have a great time with it.
Can you leave it with his dog?
Whatever man. He's totally going to kick your ass when he finds out.
Maybe you could leave it on his chest while he's sleeping... you know... with its ass in his face?
Don't forget to bring a towel!!!

 

by Bunkster
1-09-06
DOB Antics: Take 6
So anyways, let's work this love tunnel slot machine for all she's got!
I know, right? Maybe she'll put out for us tonight!
Jorel, you're going to love hanging out with us here. We have such a great time in the slot room.
One time I shaved my ass, just to see what it would feel like...
Oh my gawd! That's like two in a row now... a totally un-prompted story of ass-shaving.
Fuckin-A right, doggy. This is now the ass-shaving-story-room!

 

by Bunkster
1-21-06
DOB Antics: Take 7
I just can't believe that YOU watch porn!...
Yep, well you know... It's like you're bored... and they are bored... and it looks like they're having fun, so what the hell?
...
Is there someone that can translate for you?... like english to trailer?
Just for the record... I hate all of my friends.

 

by Bunkster
2-24-06
MadwoG is arguing with his ex...
okay so what do you call a girl that tells everyone she meets.. that she gives good head.. and she's a nympho and that has 200 guys on her msn list?
...
and all the so called friends on your list wanna fuck ya. Pwned? I bet yer a virgin...
...
Damn, she put me on ignore after that virgin comment...
Volrath: where's this bitch that says she gives good head?

 

by Bunkster
2-27-06
Dammit Bunkster, get me the hell out of here! I need to get away from these people!
Just move out of your parent's house - you make decent enough money
You dont understand... I was raised old school. We're supposed to help our parents out - that was ingrained in us as kids.
So what? If you bail, will they like dis-own you or something?
Just get me out of here Bunky, I'm more than qualified to help you work at your job!
Well, I guess I could slather you with lard and whore you out to some fat, horny Korean men...

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