All comics by DMSO

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by DMSO
7-07-02
I'm so sorry, Red...
I'd forgotten you were the old, non- rustproof model...
I can give you the name of a good engineer....
Could you give him a ring for me? I seem to be unable to use the telephone for some reason...

 

by DMSO
7-07-02
At the RoboWorks
My word, you are in a state. How did you do this to yourself?
I took a bath.
I know, I'm a fucking idiot. Alright?

 

by DMSO
7-07-02
I see your arms are in working condition again.
Indeed.
Why are you doing that?
Your bloody engineer also fitted me with a shiny new sense of modesty.

 

by DMSO
7-16-02
Doctor, I think I'm losing my mind...
Tell me what you think is wrong.
Well, it seems to me that everyone is constantly changing between different animal forms...
But that's exactly what they are doing, DexX. It's become a fashion of late. You aren't insane, merely tragically unhip.
I'm not hallucinating? You mean....?
Yes, DexX. It's the Real Thing

 

by DMSO
7-16-02
Doctor, I've been having the most bizarre recurring dream recently, and I can't make any sense of it. Could You?
Ah, the Power of Dreams...Please, Mr. Billings, furnish me with the details.
I always start off as a fish. I swim around the endless sea, not knowing where it is I'm going....
Eventually, I reach the edge of a deep, dark chasm, into which I feel my self being irresistibly drawn...

 

by DMSO
7-16-02
No matter how hard I struggle, nor how desperately I swim, I cannot escape the pull as it sucks me in...
And it's then I always awake, just as I'm about to fall into the gap...
Can you help me, Doctor? Can you shed any light on what this means? I just want to be able to sleep in peace...

 

by DMSO
7-16-02
So can you shed any light on this dream that haunts my nights and is destroying my mental well-being?
Something about your mother.
Is that the best you can come up with? I can't believe I wasted my money on this "therapy"! I'm out of here!
Freudian Psychoanalysis: you either love it or hate it.

 

by DMSO
7-17-02
Jesus loves you.
Even though my eyeballs are about to fall out?

 

by DMSO
7-17-02
In today's news: The IRA have apologised for all killings of "non-combatants" over the years of their terror campaign
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!
Cunts.

 

by DMSO
7-18-02
My name is Sam and I have a problem...
My name is Butch and I have a problem...

 

by DMSO
7-18-02
Where's the cake?

 

by DMSO
7-18-02
What do you call a fish without an eye?
I don't know; what /do/ you call a fish without an eye?
*gouge*
Bill!

 

by DMSO
7-19-02
*bszt*Captain James T Kirk You Have Been Intercepted By An Agent Of The League Of Beautiful Alien Women*bzt*
What...do you want ... from me ... robot?
*bzt*You Must Return With Me To Headquarters To Answer For Your Crimes of Sexual Exploitation, Abuse Of Authority, And Dangerous Rishathra*bzt*
I ... don't think so... metal man...
*bzt*Alert! Target Is Equipped With Experimental "Dogonball" Phaser Setting! Requesting Immediate back-Up And Chew Toy!*bzt*

 

by DMSO
7-19-02

 

by DMSO
8-12-02
o/` o/` # o/"o/
o/` - o/"o/ o/`#
o/`
YOU ARE RIGHT, DR. P. HE DOES PLAY THE BEST HUMAN SOLO TOBOR HAS EVER HEARD!

 

by DMSO
8-14-02
Ladies and Gentlemen, there is nothing wrong with your computer...
Do not attempt to reboot...
We are in control of your browsing...

 

by DMSO
8-14-02
We control the horizontal...
And the vertical....
We decide what is funny...

 

by DMSO
8-14-02
We can bombard you with in-jokes...
Or expand a single pun to painful hilarity....
...and the other guy says "yes, it was a trifle bazaar"!
Ladies and Gentlemen, you have reached...The Outer Limits

 

by DMSO
8-15-02
We join Elizabeth, a woman whose romantic disasters have driven her to despair. Can technology find her love?
...I think we should stop seeing each other. Goodbye.
Well, that's another catastrophe of a relationship over. Time to visit my uncle, the mad inventor.

 

by DMSO
8-15-02
My dear, you need despair no longer!
I present to you the fulfilment of all your romantic needs, with none of the associated heartache. My latest invention...
..the AutoMate!

 

by DMSO
8-15-02
Hm. Well, he looks big and strong, at least. No more pickle-jar lid irritations.
He's not the big red one. The AutoMate is behind him.
Oh, he looks so sensitive! That's just the kind of man for me!
Keep looking...

 

by DMSO
8-15-02
Oh, he's just adorable!
I'll take him!
It's not him either...

 

by DMSO
8-15-02
Then where the hell is he?
He's there...
...Right at the back
JESUS FORNICATING CHRIST, UNCLE!

 

by DMSO
8-15-02
Uh, hi, I'm Elizabeth. My friends call me Betty. I guess you're my new guy. What do I call you, anyway?
Processing...
I can call you Betty. Betty when you call me, you can call me Al.
I think you look more like a "Bruce", actually.
Processing...

 

by DMSO
8-15-02
So Bruce, d'you fancy going out somewhere tonight?
My DATEabase suggests 'Dinner' as a suitable first date arena. It has also selected a delightful French restaurant.
...
Would you mind terribly dialing and making the booking? I'd do it myself, but unfortunately I have no arms.

 

by DMSO
8-15-02
As the perfect gentlemen I am programmed to be, it is unthinkable to expect a lady to get the door for herself.
Unfortunately, I have no arms.
After you, ma'am.

 

by DMSO
8-15-02
*NOIZE*
I thought you said this was a quiet little place! I can barely hear myself complain!
Do you not like the background music? I find it rather soothing.

 

by DMSO
8-15-02
_Background_ music? Soothing? that guy's less subtle than Manowar!
Well, if it displeases you, O-moon-of-my-delight...

 

by DMSO
8-15-02

 

by DMSO
8-15-02
What the in the name of Greek Buggery was that?
Laser vision. Your uncle fits it as standard to all his robots.

 

by DMSO
8-15-02
Even to _Love_ robots??
Which part of "Mad Inventor" is it you don't understand?
*Cough* Now that monsieur et madame 'ave annihilated la musique, would monsieur et madame care to order?

 

by DMSO
8-15-02
So that's how you go about getting served here...
For starters, we'll both have the soup of the day. And I'd like to see the wine list, if you would be so kind.
Very good, m'sieur. As I am in abject terror of your destructive powers, I shall ensure your food arrives promptly.

 

by DMSO
8-15-02
Outside...
Well, that was a lovely evening, my sparkling partridge in a pear tree.
I had fun too. Much as it amazes me.
Now, allow me to hail a cab for you.
Thanks, sweetie.
Unfortunately...
No arms. Whatever. Taxi!

 

by DMSO
8-28-02
Well, even though I was damn lucky to survive the explosion that annihilated the Earth, I am doomed to die of asphyxiation shortly...
Amazing! I was picked up by a passing spaceship, moments before death!
I must be the luckiest person alive!

 

by DMSO
9-10-02
Uncle, that robot you gave me was completely useless.
How so?
He had no arms! I had to keep doing everything for him! And I ended up paying for dinner too. Funnily enough, the restaurant wouldn't take the RoboCredit notes you printed.
So this has nothing to do with his laughably small RoboPenis?
Of course not...

 

by DMSO
9-10-02
So...do you have anything more...er...suitable to my needs?
I could offer you some sage advice; get a real boyfriend.
Or, if it will stop you glaring at me like that, you can take the red robot.

 

by DMSO
9-10-02
Is he, er...
"Fully functional"? Yes.
And he has arms?
Two, in fact.
I'll take him!
I must warn you, though; he has a bit of a one track mind.

 

by DMSO
9-10-02
Hi there, Red! I'm Betty, and...
RAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
"Raar?" That's no way to speak to a lady!
RAAR?
And you'll have to buy me dinner first.
RAAR! TOBOR WILL WINE AND DINE YOU!

 

by DMSO
9-17-02
Hey!! Welcome to my non-web-based event nerd!! I am 60-70% sure you have never been anywhere so cool!!
Nerd? Hey, I don't care how much jelly and ice-cream you have, I didn't come all the way to Austria to be insulted, you little shit!
HAHAHA! Your age group is 13-17, because otherwised you would have noticed the EXTREMELY FRIENDLY AND NON-AGGRESSIVE style I said that in.
You are such a loser.
loser [not equal to]: I'm having a party!

 

by DMSO
9-18-02
Look Horse, we know you were planning to stuff and cook him before eating the corpse. It's a classic cannibalistic homicide.
How can it be cannibalism? We're not even the same species.
Besides, I'm on a diet. Apart from the occasional salad, I've only been eating Slimfast milkshakes.
I thought the whole point of SlimFast was that you can eat whatever you like the rest of the time.
Do you have any idea how many calories there are in man-flesh? This figure does not maintain itself.

 

by DMSO
4-16-03
Harvey?
Harvey?
I'm over here, Elwood

 

by DMSO
4-16-03
Harvey?
Yes, Elwood?
What're you doing?
I'm getting changed...
Getting changed? What do you have to change...

 

by DMSO
4-16-03
...into?

 

by DMSO
4-16-03
Why're you wearing that?
Wearing what?
Never mind. Come on, we need to get going; it's therapy night.
I'll get my purse.

 

by DMSO
4-16-03
The office of Dr. Chumley
Good morning Elwood. What would you like to talk about today?
I'm a little worried, Dr. Chumley.
Worried? What is it that troubles you?
I'm worried about Harvey...
Harvey? You mean the 6' tall talking bunny rabbit that only you can see? He worries me too.
Yes, that Harvey. He's started wearing women's clothing.

 

by DMSO
4-16-03
So why do you think Harvey is doing this? And did your mother ever force you into dresses?
*whisper*

 

by DMSO
4-16-03
He says it's his superhero costume.
*BEEP* *BEEP*

 

by DMSO
4-16-03
What? Now? But we're in the middle of a session...
*whisper*

 

by DMSO
4-16-03
I'm sorry, Dr. Chumley, but Harvey had to leave. Superhero stuff.

 

by DMSO
4-16-03
One of these days I'm going to get a very interesting paper out of you, Elwood.

Showing page 2.

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