All comics by DarkwingDuck

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AAAUUUUGGHH!!!! MY FOOT'S ASLEEP! HEEEEEELP!!!!!!
by DarkwingDuck, 8-24-06

 

by DarkwingDuck
8-24-06
Bunka Bunka bird, Greg the vampire, The Office Bee, Fuck Nuts the snowman, shitty pants Jim, I'm sorry but you're all fired.
Shit!

 

by DarkwingDuck
8-24-06
THIS IS BULLSHIT, MAN! YOU CAN'T FIRE US! I HAVE A FAMILY!
Hey! It's hard for me, too, but we don't have the budget!
I have payments for my emu farm to make, you jerk! You can't just fire us all on the spot like this!
Well, I only needed to fire one of you, but that would have been too difficult for me. So I fored all of you.
BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA!
Good point.

 

by DarkwingDuck
8-24-06
Just fire The Office Bee. He only has one joke, and it's not even funny!
That goes for everybody in this comic.
BUZZ! BUZZ! THE OFFICE BEE ACQUIRES A LARGE AMOUNT OF HONEY!
Listen, I know you're all upset, but I just can't choose. I love you all equally.
Even me?
NO!

 

by DarkwingDuck
8-24-06
I have an idea how to get rid of one of you! I'll let the viewing public decide!
That's right, America! YOU get to decide! Who do you want to go? The Bunka Bunka bird, Fucks Nuts the snowman, it's all up to YOU!
Just simply text message the numbers 6528376287365348 on your cell phone and choose who you want fired from this comic!
The person with the most votes will immediately be fired, then thrown into the pit of ultimate destruction, which is full of scorpians and rabid alpacas.
So choose now! Who stays and who goes? It's up to..........YOU!
Me?

 

by DarkwingDuck
8-24-06
You can't toy with our futures like that!
It seems to me that I already did.
This isn't right! Do you really think this is the proper way to fire somebody?
Listen, I already told you that I can't do it myself, so unless one of you DIES, this is the way I'm doing it!
Dies?....
BUNKA! BUNKA!

 

by DarkwingDuck
8-24-06
Are you serious?
Yes, we can make it look like an accident.
There is no way in hell that I'm killing the Bunka Bunka bird just for a job!
Well, what about The Office Bee?
Alright, sure.

 

by DarkwingDuck
8-24-06
BUZZ! BUZZ! THE OFFICE BEE DEMANDS TO KNOW WHY YOU BROUGHT ME TO THIS DAMP BASEMENT!
I brought you here to give you honey.
HOLY CRAP! GIVE IT TO ME THIS INSTANT!
In a mater of time. Just wait here while I fetch it for you.
Is the trap set?
Yes, the gorillas with father issues will be releashed in a matter of hours.

 

by DarkwingDuck
8-24-06
A matter of hours later....
Hey, you idiots! The results are in! And the one who is fired is.........................
THE BUNKA BUNKA BIRD! 100% of the voting public think you suck the most!
THIS IS HORSE SHIT!
Meanwhile, a few feet away....
What have we become? We murdered an innocent man! And for what? NOTHING!
OH, THE HUMANITY!!!!!!

 

by DarkwingDuck
8-24-06
Well, the Bunka Bunka bird is now dead. After receiving his pink slip, he was thrown into the pit of ultimate destruction. I'm happy to report that his death was quick and painless....
As we all know, alpacas always aim for the neck when attacking. The scorpians were unable to reach the body in time.
But let's not the Bunka Bunka bird's death bring us down, for he has enriched all of our lives for the better with his heart warming performances.
So here is a short tribute to the beloved Bunka Bunka bird....
BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA! BUNKA!

 

by DarkwingDuck
8-24-06
Well, that's that. Both The Bunka Bunka bird and The Office Bee are no longer with us. Two beloved characters from the smash hit comic series by Darkwing Duck.
But, please, dry those tears, dear viewer. We still have the memories. And don't forget that we will always be introducing new characters.
Like: Marvin, the constipated water buffalo who works at a dildo factory. We hope that he will be the new smash hit character in the series.
Well, now that all that business is taken care of, we now bring you back to your regularly scheduled comic....
I can't work today, boss! I'M TOO CONSTIPATED!
Heh, heh! That's our silly Marvin!

 

WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! I'M HAVING FUN!
by DarkwingDuck, 11-19-06

 

by DarkwingDuck
11-20-06
I wonder what kind of comics the other users make on this crazy website....
EAT BONERS U FUCKIN NIGGER!!!!1
LOL

 

by DarkwingDuck
11-20-06
I am so embarassed. I moaned during my prostate exam.
AAAUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
Wh....What's going on?
AAAUUGHH!!!! AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!!
A fortnight later...
And now that you know the full story, you can see why I had to kill him.
Hey, I'm not judging you.

 

by DarkwingDuck
11-20-06
HOW CAN YOU JUST SIT THERE PLAYING MONKEY ISLAND WHILE YOUR BROTHER IS FIGHTING IN IRAQ?
*sniff*

 

by DarkwingDuck
11-20-06
If I was a porn star, my name would be Creamy Goodness.
Well, mine would be Baron von Schlong.
THAT FUCKIN' SUCKS!
Meanwhile....
AIDS!

 

by DarkwingDuck
11-20-06
Wow! I just took the biggest dump ever!
Look at the size of that thing! I think it has its own vein!
I didn't flush it just incase you wanted to take a look for yourself!

 

by DarkwingDuck
12-05-06
Remember that show Project Geeker?
SHUT UP! WHY DON'T YOU GO SWALLOW A TURD?
Maybe you're the one who should swallow a turd!
NO! YOU!

 

by DarkwingDuck
12-08-06
One time I was in the park and I yawned. Then a guy threw his chewed gum into my mouth.
EWWW! GROSS! WHAT DID YOU DO?
I swallowed the gum like it was nothing! That's how I roll!
Man, I bet that guy was shocked! What did his face look like?
Like this....

 

by DarkwingDuck
12-08-06
I am famished! Do you serve eggs benedict?
Of course we don't, you stupid idiot!
Well, I never expected such service at a fine eatery like Dairy Queen!
Excuse me a second, sir....
HEY, YOU! GET YOUR DICK OUT OF THE SOFT SERVE ICE CREAM MACHINE!

 

by DarkwingDuck
12-09-06
After Muppet Babies was cancelled, I lost my faith in God.

 

by DarkwingDuck
12-12-06
I'm waiting for my ham sandwich!
37 years later....
HERE IT IS!
I hope you like your sandwiches green and in a bowl.

 

by DarkwingDuck
2-19-07
I wish I was a robot. THAT WOULD ROCK!
You know, it is possible that we not to realize it.all could be robots, but are programed
DUDE!
YOU JUST TOTALLY BLEW MY MIND!

 

by DarkwingDuck
2-19-07
I'm so hardcore, I ate a whole jar of peanut butter, and I wasn't even that hungry!
I'm so hardcore, I once wrote a rock opera about a specific episode of Nash Bridges!
Well, I'm so hardcore, when I eat Cheestrings, I just take whole bites instead of peeling it!
UGH! THAT'S FUCKING DISGUSTING!

 

by DarkwingDuck
2-21-07
I wish I was a robot. THAT WOULD ROCK!
You know, it is possible that we are already robots, but we have been programed not to realize it.
DUDE!
YOU JUST TOTALLY BLEW MY MIND!

 

by DarkwingDuck
2-21-07
Everyone dies.
EVERYONE!

 

by DarkwingDuck
4-01-07
Remember that show Eerie Indiana?
Yes.
Remember that show Clarissa Explains It All?
Yes.
Remember in 3rd grade when we saw that kid with down syndrome get beat by his dad in the school parking lot?
No.

 

by DarkwingDuck
4-11-07
I always bring along my iPod on business trips and things of that nature.
Will you quit going on about your iPod? Besides, I've seen your playlist, and the only song you have on there is Too Bad by Doug And The Slugs.
That is the only thing worth listening to!

 

by DarkwingDuck
10-03-08
Who are you voting for president?
I'm sorry, but I choose not to discuss politics with friends or family, because I find it to be a personal decision.
I'M VOTING FOR THE NIGGER!

 

by DarkwingDuck
10-04-08
So, how did your vaginal rejuvenation surgery go?
HAAAAARRWWFFFF!!!!!!
And then something funny happened.

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