All comics by MatthewEastaugh

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by MatthewEastaugh
4-09-01
The final day of Mr. Docking at Costessey High..
Mr. Docking, hello..
Hello Matthew, how are ya?
Well, as you're leaving, just in time to muck up my Chemistry A Level revision, I thought I'd get you a present...
Oh.
Here ya go..
PUNK ROCK! LET'S GO!

 

by MatthewEastaugh
4-09-01
Day 1 of the holidays..
Sure was nice for Sam to agree to go to the cinema with me sometime in the hols. Guess I'll just wait for her to phone..
Day 8...
Day 15..
Next time, get me to specify a date? Ta.

 

by MatthewEastaugh
4-09-01
With apologies to Steven Spielberg. And Keef.
We are looking for Private Alan.
I am him.
Your brother is seriously injured...
NOO!
Wanna go help win the war with us?
Well, it was only Keef I spose. Okay then...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
4-09-01
It has come to our attention that some people think that the last comic, together with #50, show a dramatic downturn in comic quality.
Indeed.
To all of the people who have this opinion...
..we wish to say one thing.
FOR GOODNESS SAKES, HOW STUPID ARE YOU? THEY WERE ALL CRAP IN THE FIRST PLACE!
And they all have me in somehow. Noticed that?

 

by MatthewEastaugh
4-09-01
What's it about? Ask Keef.. I dunno.
..hmm...
I'm better than him...
I'm better than him...
..twiddles thumbs..

 

by MatthewEastaugh
4-09-01
Keef and Laura arrive at the AOL building..
Well Keef, here we are at AOLs headquarters. Shall we complain about the porn?
Nope. Let's just use the secret weapon we brought along instead...
TAKE THAT...
...FOUL AOL DEMONSPAWN!! LOL!
Ha!
Muhahahahahahaha!

 

by MatthewEastaugh
4-10-01
Hi Matthew, it's the Comic Government here. We regret to have to tell you this, but you can't use this hell in your strips anymore...
Eh? Why on earth not?
Overbooked, y'see. We're all booked out now until 2036. Still, we have come up with a suitable replacement...
Where?
Here. Great Yarmouth.
Oh, that'll do then.

 

by MatthewEastaugh
4-10-01
Tuesday, 8:32pm..
Sam, you're back. What was that, the fifth disconnection in 10mins or so?
Yep. Actually, hang on a sec.. I'm off again..
What, already? Why?
You'll see.... [sam has logged off]
A few hours later.. - "This is a newsflash.. there has been an explosion at the NTL building in London. CCTV has picked up these pictures..."
Bye NTL. Hehehehe...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
4-25-01
Hello. I'm here, with Robot #1, to bring you a special announcement.
Yes.
Cause of A Level revision and stuff, Matthew's comics have been suspended for a while..
..however, we'll all be back with a comic a day as of late June! Yay!
Duckpond Comics returns late June. Jokes from the Apocalypse? Eh? Pardon?
Well, I will anyway. Not sure about you, mate.
Eh?

 

by MatthewEastaugh
4-26-01
Damn. Two comic strips and that's it. Even Jason lasted longer than that..
..and i'd already been fired once too. i hate life..
If they don't keep the comics, I show my panties again. So, basically, everyone's a winner. LOL!..
Naii-im...
SAVE OUR COMICS - Sign the petition here, form a queue back there..
Hang on, I thought only you robots were in trouble?
Well, yes.. but the more names the better, see. Plus, the rest of you pathetic humans were too stupid to notice. Muhahaha.

 

by MatthewEastaugh
5-02-01
The sixteenth annual 'Random Word Quoting' contest...
Toothpaste.
Confetti.
Interstice.
Damn, you win. That French / Women's Studies major you got has been put to good use, I see. (sarcasm)
Unfortunately, as is normal for me, it all goes to pieces in panel 3...
Erm... Wirthling is a donkey fucker.
TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!! RAR!!

 

by MatthewEastaugh
5-15-01
..like jazz music. Hard to do properly, lots of twiddly bits, and never ends up going anywhere.
..difficult in this position.
..an unforgettable experience when I'm around... BABY.
..quite a good source of income at this time of year, thanks very much.
..quite hard for us homosexual robots. Dammit.
RAAAAARRR!!

 

by MatthewEastaugh
7-01-01
Hello there. Well, exams are over, and hence I'm back making comics. Woo hoo.
..oh crap..
Erm, Sam, are you okay over there?
Leave me alone.. you.. you... SADIST!
My comics will return.. as soon as I have a site to put them on..
Erm.. was it something I said?
...whoosh...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-07-01
This is a Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the Asian Girl Alliance..
Hello. We're the two Asian girls.
Some of you may be wondering quite where Matthew has been lately...
Others of you, to be frank, may not have cared less.
The answer is quite simple..
The apocalypse is coming! ARGHH!
Nah. Just A Level results on the 16th August. Gulp. He has returned now tho. YAY!

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-07-01
Following his return to comic making, Matthew is asked about the future by Sam..
So now the comics are back, does that mean I'm employed again?
Of course it does, sweetie pie...
YAAAY!!
I wouldn't celebrate just yet, though..
Erm.. dare I ask.. why?
You haven't my scripts yet. I've got worse. If that was possible...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-08-01
Introducing.. erm.. six people / things..
Hi. We're the new characters that popped up while Matthew was away...
Unfortunately, he hasn't got a clue how to use us all yet. Oh well.
It's understandable really, though, isn't it?
I mean, what possible use could there be for a psycho bunny type thing, huh?
Still, I suppose I could be used to actually make Gretchen look normal. There's an idea....
Nah, there'd be no fun in that, would there?

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-08-01
Beryl. Always making trouble..
OH NO!
What now, Keef?
We added a new member to Beryl! And Matthew hasn't assigned Justin a character yet. Argh.
Ah.. don't worry! I'm sure he'll think of something..
After all.. he was looking for a use for this little fella..
Okay, now making me a squirrel is entirely unfair. Midgets! Wet ones! Yay!

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-08-01
This is what happens when you lose a bet....
Yes, you do have to do this. Now get on with it, Duck! Or else.
Sigh. Oh, okay then. Ladies and gentlemen, you asked for it, so heeeeeerre's MARTHA...
Erm.. hi. I'm Martha. I like dogs, and people (particularly Matthew) say I'm really nice and kind and stuff. Bless em. I like dogs, and...
Argh! Okay, that wasn't very nice...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-08-01
Thurs 9 August - The Dentist's surgery...
So Mr. Dentist sir, are you sure this tooth removal isn't gonna hurt at all?
Not one bit, boy! See, we make your mouth go all numb first, so it can't hurt one bit! Okay?
Sure! I'll go sit down over here then. Be gentle!
Don't worry, I will! Muhahahahaha!...
Did that tooth removal hurt, then, Math?
Noh. Wah farwe painleh actualleh. Beh yuh couhnt eveh notice, couh yuh?

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-08-01
In this episode, the part of Pikachu will be played by Bunimon...
Bunimon, I CHOOSE YOU!
BUNIMON!
SQUIROMON!
Squiromon, I CHOOSE YOU!
Some large amount of dodgy animation later..
Yay! Bunimon, you did it! How unexpected!
BUNIMON!

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-08-01
Summer holiday - week one...
I'm bored.
Summer holiday - week five..
I'm really bored.
Summer holiday - week nine..
Well, at least we redecorated. I'm bored.

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-08-01
It took time, but finally he summoned up the courage..
Erm.. this is kinda difficult for me to say to you, but I just felt that now was the time..
Basically, I've been friends with you for a really long time now, and I think you're a great person..
..but lately I've been finding myself feeling more than just friendship-type feelings towards you. In other words..
..I.. I.. I love you. Wanna go out some time? PLEASE?
..to practice. Lots. Give him a few years, he might actually say it..
So Sam, d'ya think that'd work?
Erm.. maybe. One thing though - next time, try actually telling her instead of me, okay?

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-09-01
Matthew goes to the dentists...
Right, now we shall lower the chair, so the removal may take place. Don't worry, it won't take too long, and it won't hurt..
Okie dokie.
20 minutes later...
Ah. Well, see, this tooth is a bit problematic. I'm afraid we're gonna need to pull a bit more. Please excuse the blood..
AAAAAAAHHH!!
Another 20 minutes later..
Well.. erm.. that'll have to do I'm afraid. I've stiched your gum up again, and wiped all the blood off.. hope it doesn't hurt anymore..
...you have put me through hell.. for that you must die...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-09-01
And now, in a change to the advertised 'Jokes From The Apocalypse'...
Welcome to Amateur Comedy Hour!
Up first tonight for your amusement.. Robot #1!
What do you call a robot that always takes the longest route to get somewhere?
R2 detour!
BOOO! YOU SUCK! GET OFF!

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-09-01
This is the world's first psychic comic! Think really hard, and this comic will reflect your thoughts...
Right, you're doing great.. keep thinking! HARDER!
YES! Got it! And the results are...
Blimey, this is a bit crap, isn't it? I'm gonna go look at someone else's comics. See ya...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-10-01
After three days of nothing, Matthew and Sam finally talk again..
So, how was your day yesterday then?
Fan-bloody-tastic. Had a great time. We went on escalators, and went to..
Stop. You know what this means, don't you?
Erm.. what?
Divorce time! Excuse me, I'm off to become free and single. See ya!
Oh.

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-10-01
Matthew realises his holiday is half gone..
Well, I'd best make the most of the remaining few weeks. Let's see what's on TV...
'..and now, Carol Vorderman presents Britain's Brainiest Gardeners!...'
Okay, stuff that. Any one online?
..nope..
Well, we were gonna go out tonight, but some people are ill.. so we've cancelled it.. sorry! Bye!
...erm.. bye Marth. Well, that's that then...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-10-01
Re-introducing.. Laura!
So, Laura, nice to see you again. Why you so happy?
Well, duck.. I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST! YAY!
Ooh.. congratulations! Erm.. one thing though..
What?
How'd you manage to do that with your hand stuck to your chin like that?
With great difficulty...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-13-01
So, you're Toria, Laura's sister. The one who drew the.. ahem.. 'pink bunny slippers spider'?
Yep.
Right, hold on.. I have a surprise for you... back in a sec..
Ooh.. I like surprises! Gimme!
And Toria never used real bunnies in her pictures again, for fear of the evil rabbit returning...
RAAARGH!
ARGH! Laura! The nasty man is scaring me...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-20-01
Bet you can't do anything that'll impress me, Matthew...
Okay Laura, you're on. Spontaneous human combustion good enough? Here goes...
...ARGH!..
There. What d'ya think now? Impressed? Erm.. Laura? HELLO?
DUDE! A floating head! Woah!

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-20-01
Hello. We're the two Asian girls.
We're here to inform you of a very unfortunate occurance...
It appears that due to a quirk in the StripCreator.com system, it refuses to display the latest comic here.
Before this, it was displaying that awful psychic comic one. I mean.. sheesh!
Anyway, we're sure you'll agree this is a much better temporary solution.
Ahem.

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-20-01
You know, I really hate this StripCreator making application thingy.
I mean, it's now two weeks until Rach leaves for Japan. I wanna make a comic to commemorate that fact.
And the only character left for her I can use? Well...
Let's just pretend we speak on the phone a lot, shall we?

 

by MatthewEastaugh
8-20-01
Matthew sees the psychiatrist...
So basically, I don't ever want to leave her, and I think she's great, and the best person I've ever met in my life..
..and I don't know what I'd do without her, and I think she's perfect in every way..
..but I still don't feel anything sexual at all towards her, and I could never imagine marriage..
..or any stuff like that, but she's still so overwhelmingly amazing and stuff...
..do you understand what I mean, doc?
Erm.. to be frank? No. I haven't got a blooming clue. Good luck!

 

by MatthewEastaugh
9-10-01
You take a short absence..
Hi there. I'll be playing the part of the scary drunk people who come into Roys.
Hi. Due to my uncanny resemblance to him, I shall be David, who is Matthew's brother.
You come back...
In preparation for next week, I shall be Matthew's Uni Lecturer. Howdy.
Hmm.. my StripCreator name is BigEvilDan. Guess I'll be Daniel then.
And the scary people have invaded. Argh.
As I am wearing purple, I guess I should turn out to be Rachel. Grr!
And that would make me.... very scary indeed.

 

by MatthewEastaugh
9-10-01
Hello, Rachel. Welcome to Japan. Any questions?
Yes.. is there any way I can make myself more understandable to you, despite the language differences?
...
...
Pardon?

 

by MatthewEastaugh
9-10-01
Rachel's great! We've admitted our feelings, and now I'm gonna wait till March, so we can be together. Erm.. Martha? Who's she?
Daniel's great! No bloke has ever been as nice to me as him.. we really like each other. He's so funny! Erm.. Matthew? Who's he?
Ever felt a bit.. well.. left out?
Yeah, funny that, isn't it?

 

by MatthewEastaugh
9-10-01
The strange...
...bzzzzzttt....
RIGHT. That's IT. Take this, you...
The necessary..
Well, let's face it, we were needed. Otherwise this background would've been a complete waste of time..
..yup!
And the incredibly scary...
AAAAAAHH!!!!
Stroke the pussy. Feeeeed the pussy.

 

by MatthewEastaugh
9-18-01
War.
What is it good for?

 

by MatthewEastaugh
9-18-01
About 10am, Tuesday morning...
Hey there Duck! Fancy going out in a mo and taking the dogs for a walk?
Yeah, sure! Just come round about half ten. We could sort out all the stuff about Uni for Thursday too..
Good idea! Right, I'll be there shortly. See ya soon, mate!
Bye! See ya! (click) Aww.. that's nice. And no one can misinterpret any of that either....
Later on...
Oooh! You and Martha walked the dogs! You obviously fancy each other. Bet that's not all you got up to, is it? Ooh!
On second thoughts, Daniel always proves me wrong. Sigh.

 

by MatthewEastaugh
9-22-01
And now, Maura from DieselSweeties will say a few words..
Hi. On September the.. September..
Sh*t. Autocues bust. Erm.. help! Think up heartfelt speech... think up hearfelt speech...
ARGH!
Well, that WAS a lucky escape, wasn't it?

 

by MatthewEastaugh
10-02-01
Hey Bob, how was that computer lab earlier?
Hey! It was alright.. there was this one guy tho, he tried to start conversation with me, and I didn't even know the geezer!
Sheesh. That's rather strange'n'all. Still, fancy going for some food?
Yeah, that'd be a good id.. S**T! Quick, he's coming up behind me...
Hey Bob! Fancy bumping into.. Bob? Where'd ya go? BOB?

 

by MatthewEastaugh
10-04-01
One of these things is not like the others...
..help!...
One of these things just doesn't belong..
Hello.
Yup.
Hmm.. I wonder which one?
AAARRGH! MY BODY!

 

by MatthewEastaugh
10-04-01
If this is bad, blame Laura...
Hmm.. I'm hungry. There's always that unopened can of soup.. spose I could have that..
Argh.. but the damn cat is on my arm. My other arm, obviously, the one you can't see... hmm.. AH! IDEA!
Soup, here I come!
Nice pussy.. good pussy... stroke the pussy...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
10-04-01
Damn writers block...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
10-04-01
Ooh.. big scary black thing.
Indeed.

 

by MatthewEastaugh
10-04-01
*DING DONG!* Erm.. who is it?
Come and see!
Erm.. hi. Who are you?
Hi, I'm Matthew. I know you've just arrived at the UEA and all.. and it can get a bit lonely.. fancy being my friend?
*SLAM* Bob, there's a strange guy at the door..
...erm.. right. Best be off...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
10-04-01
And now on CBBC,, Miami 7!
YAY! S CLUB 7! WOO!
# Don't stop.. never give up.. let the world see what you have got... #
Ooh.. I like Jon. And Bradley. And Rachel. Ooh. They're GREAT!! YAY!
ARGH!
What? Look, I did it for her own good...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
11-22-01
Hey Dexx! I worked out an easier way of me being in a strip, rather than you drawing me!
What do you think?
....
Can someone turn the lights on please?
Whooo... my eyes feel all funny...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
11-24-01
La la laaa laaa... life is great. Oh, hang on..
Matthew! It's an emergency! Listen!
What now..?
According to this, in strip #100, they're going to replace you with.. a NEW MATTHEW!
..we're all going to hell...

 

by MatthewEastaugh
11-30-01
Well, guess it's time for the changeover then. So, i just step in here? And there'll be no hitches or problems?
Yep. Then I just close the door, and press the switch...
...like this..
Did it work then?
Erm.. well, there appears to have been an unpleasant side effect. A Union Jack coloured one....

Showing page 2.

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