All comics by PhreakyChinchilla

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6:15pm.
PhreakyChinchilla: What?
andydougan: Umm.. I don't understand the question.
6:47pm
Phreakychinchilla: Get it now?
andydougan: No, I'm afraid not.
7:15pm
PhreakyChinchilla: NOW?
andydougan: I'd shoot myself just so I wouldn't have to ever meet you.

 

A tribute to the default twins.
Fabulous.
Marvelous.

 

It was inevitable.
So, we're going to be going to war.
Inevitable, I tell you.
Seems to me that war really isn't necessary, perhaps there is a way around it...
WE ARE GOING TO WAR. END OF SUBJECT.
What would you know about war, you big earred jackass..... wait..that sounds oddly familiar....

 

That's too bad about North Korea..
Yeah.. a real shame.
I can't believe that happens there every day...
Yeah... me too... wait.. we ARE talking about the shortage of egg noodles...aren't we?
Idiot.
wait, come back! You have to tell me what you were talking about!!

 

Hi, Santa! I have a big long list for you!
Ho ho ho.. I have something big and long for you too!
The masks revealed...
Busted, pal. I'm taking you in.
Ahhh... shit.

 

And now, joining us via satellite to accept the award for "Most Likely to be Nuked Soon"... SADDAM HUSSEIN!
.. I thank you very much for this award, yes. I would also like to thank the US for arming me 20 years ago and getting me off to a good start to take ove--
DIE!!!!!!!!!!
.... Well, sorry we had to cut that short. Network only allows so much graphic content... on to the next award.. "Most Likely To die alone" ... GEORGE CLOONEY!
You'd think with my good looks and cleft chin, I wouldn't be lonely. But I am. Oh, but I am.

 

You look a little peaked, almost yellow. Feeling okay?
Yeah..it's just a heart condition I have that makes my color like this.
Wow, is it serious?
Mmm... kinda. A yellowish color is just a symptom...
Maybe I should go see my doctor...
Yeah, maybe.

 

Heard on the phone:
Seriously, he is a total dirtbag. He likes anything with a hole.
Yeah..and like.. he asked if I wanted to come up for "egg sandwiches"... like what the fuck??
Girl, I'm telling you. Stay away from him.. he's like a blood-thirsty tick..
Like.. he has lyme disease or something?? Gross, I didn't know that!
...........No. I was thinking more like the "parasite" point of view...
..........Oh. Okay. Totally.

 

No, girls just don't make noises like that.
I've heard girls make those noises before....
Well... you haven't been around real girls. Your girls are all hairy and manly aren't they?
.....
Hello?
I think you are confused.

 

So, you have a good day then...So good you see you..
But...doctor.. you haven't even asked what I came in for? Don't you want to know??
Oh right..so let's look........Oh definitely..here is a prescription for that...Have a good day now..
But..what is this for? What's wrong with me?
I don't technically remember the name.. I just remember that that is what I use to treat it! have a good day!
Jesus, it's hard to find good healthcare.

 

Hi. I'm American! Can't you tell?
Aww shhh op ye dun wahn tae tawk tae meh....
What? What did you say?
Aww shhh op ye dun wahn tae tawk tae meh....
What?
I hate American broads.

 

At the wake.
So, are you enjoying your time off from work?
Um....what?!?
It must be nice to be away from home for awhile, huh.
Umm...it's not like I'm on vacation or something...

 

The Dawn of Office Politics
Could you make a copy of this for me?
Sorry, not my job.
Well...what exactly IS your job?
I'm not really sure, but I know it is definitely not making copies.
Oop, look at that, time for 2 o'clock break. I'll be back in 15, can you answer the phones for me? Thanks.

 

In lieu of harassment...
Hi.
Hi??
I've come to the conclusion that you smiling at me makes me uncomfortable. Can you please stop?

 

God Damn Lola: Hey, long time no see. How are you?
SiRLiOnFoInE: I'm great. You?
God Damn Lola: I'm good. What's up?
SiRLiOnFoInE: have you seen my latest pictures? *sends nudes*
God Damn Lola: OH MY GOD.
SiRLiOnFoInE: It's like GRANITE. You won't cry when it's Clown-punching the magic spot!

 

Sharing a bunk? Choose your bunkmate wisely.
Man, I am really tired. The hike in the woods wore me out. Good night.
G'night.
.... Hey?
Yeah?
What are scabies??
!!!

 

Doubtful, although they were fairly homosexual. So it is possible.
Yeah they dressed up in samurai outfits and hung about in sewers. Sounds like clandestine queer behaviour to me.
You call a swath of fabric across their eyes and a few tied around their arms dressed up like a Samurai?
Good point. Well they also had phallic weapons
I think you are taking this to a very bad place I'm not ready to go with you.

 

Excuse me....
I'm afraid you're fired. I've hired a trained monkey to do your job.
?

 

So, what are your qualifications?
How many words per minute can you type?
So, what are your qualifications?
How many words per minute can you type?
So, what are your qualifications?
There's no overtime and you'll make minimum wage. Welcome to the real world.

 

What does it say?
Bad News.

 

I know I am funnier than... asiangirl2
I know I am funnier than... asiangirl1
*Applause*
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
Where's my tractor??!

 

God Damn Lola (4:23:55 PM): I am sitting here trying to channel my creativity...
umbcref (4:24:09 PM): that means a male baby will be born with female genitals
God Damn Lola (4:24:15 PM): I have picked out the characters of Maura (me), boorite2, and an American flag background. This is where the magic happens..or in my case.. doesn't.
umbcref is away at 4:24:48 PM.
God Damn Lola (4:26:13 PM): ..
Auto response from umbcref (4:26:13 PM): I am away from my computer right now.

 

..You know how I hate stepping on toes around here. When is our next meeting?
Monday.
Hmm.. I'm just not sure I'm comfortable with the level of knowledge I have about your projects..Did you get my email?
"FYI - Need numbers analysis on ASN cust, dates, dollars, ASN only. SK."
Can we move it up? What day can you do next?
Tuesday.

 

So, Doug is going to handle all the shows and work with Krys to make sure all our samples orders are together.They will also be incommunicado with BWAsia to ensure samples are being directed...
Fabulous. Go over who is first, second, and third contacts for the office over there again. Don't skip out on spellings...
Something just isn't right about this meeting.
I'm so excited. Do you think she'll go over multi-samples again??

 

Did you get a wiff of my new plug in air freshner?? It is a CD. You play the CD and it plays a "scent story". It's great. Smell that?
Uhh..no.
Oh. Right. Robot thing.

 

Back at the ranch..
Hi! Glad you could make it. You're taller than I thought. Dinner is ready..so follow me.
Man, I am so going to HIT that...ARF!!
We're having curried monkfish...
Not worth the bragging rights.
Hey!! Come back!!!

 
Eating disorders are like a big deal..
Yeah, kids, so like remember to eat and stuff!

 

Reading CHUBBY's comics is like eating shredded barbeque.
You never know whether it's going to stay down...
..or if you are going to be in the bathroom shitting and puking at the same time..

 

Day 14 - Message #? 26.
*Leave a message at the tone* "ERICAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, PUT DOWN THE CONTROLLER. PICK UP THE PHONEEEeeeEEE!!"
*clickclackclackclickity*
"....."
*clickclackclackclickity*
"Please? Honey, please?? *sigh* Alright...call me when you get this...No, wait. Call me TODAY, Erica. TODAY, Today is TUESDAY!..." *BEEEEEEP*
*clickclackclackclickity*

 

THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!! GET OUT!! GET OUT!!!!
*clickclackclackclickity*
HELLO? GET OUT. HOUSE.ON.FIRE!!
*clickclackclackclickity*
House..on...WHAT? OH MY GOD, SAVE THE XBOX!!!
Mommy?

 

*Email* what's my cell phone number?
....*reply* ###-#### *send*
*RINGRINGRING*
*cellphone display: Incoming call from FIL-Cell*..Hello???
what's my cell phone number?
Errr...I just emailed it to you......

 

And now a word from Kelly Ripa's husband...
Daddy?
....Daddddddyyy!
Trust me when I say, "Pull out." ... Pull out in so many ways, my friends.
Yo, Dad. I need to borrow the car..
Daddy, I stuck a spatula in my rear!
Ha ha ha! Regis is SUCH a riot..so funny. Honey, put down little Juan and come in here..

 

Supporting someone who rates themselves an "8" on the PC knowledge scale..
"Good Morning, this is Erica.."
"Hi..my computer won't turn on. No lights, no nothin'..heh heh.. Can you take a look?"
"Hmm..'no lights, no nothin'..' Is your battery dead?"
"Nope, I have it plugged into the powerstrip with all the other stuff..And my monitor won't work either. hmm..must be a VIRUS, RIGHT?"
"Monitor too, eh. Have you looked to make sure your powerstrip is even plugged in?"
"Oh..it's definitely plugged in. This morning when I came in I plugged it into the powerstri--....oh."

 
Ta da!
Bleeet?
NO! I said Abe *ViGODA*..

 

*click click click click click click*
*click click click click click click*
My GOD! That noise is driving me crazy. What is this place??
Level 3.4 of Hades, Insect and Rodent headquarters. 2-4pm is Carpenter Ant deterent hour.

 

Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm a bird...
...and I have feathers...
Mmm...a banana.
Eat up. Show time is in an hour.

 
I feel like carp today.

 

Lew is going to apply for a job as a District Manager at Hot Topic...
He needs help coming up with a title for his resume. They want something that "entices us to learn more about you".
DID YOU SAY LEW'S BEEN BRAINWASHED BY ANGRY GOTHS WAITING FOR THE MOTHERSHIP???
You're so dramatic.
THERE'S NO TIME, WE HAVE TO HELP HIM. QUICK, TO THE BAT CAVE!

 

.. Oh baby!! OH BABY!!!
.. OH MY GOD... HEY! GET OFF ME....
Suzy...What's the matter???
You just licked me in the EYE!! GROSS. I'm outta' here!
This has been a message from the American Association for Multiple Orgasms.
Regret - the anti-orgasm. *do doo do dooooooo!*

 

wait.. Don't open the door yet...I need a better weapon..
hey... there's a rocket launcher over here...by this table..
Oh... cool...hmmm..
wow, this rocket launcher that I got has a blade on it too.. *slicing noises*
*RETRY?*
hmm..does mine do.. *KABLAM*... oops..!
what happe-... you just fired that in the room, didn't you? you killed BOTH of us...

 

Nice "TOOL" shirt.
Thanks. They're my favorite band..their lyrics are awesome. Have you ever listened to them?
...I may have heard of them..
The lyrics are so deep and they can actually PLAY music..
Ahh, well. I just thought the shirt was some sort of self-promotion ploy. Silly me.
...

 

Did you hear that Christian Slater got attacked??
Whaaaat?
I guess the guy had a knife and Christian's bodyguard stepped in front of him to protect him. That's crazy!
...!
You haven't said anything. Are you shocked???!
Yes! I thought Christian Slater was dead!!

 

I had a dream about a burning bush last night, so I looked up what it meant online today..
Oh? What did you find out??
It said To see something burning, indicates that you are experiencing some intense emotions and/or passionate sexual feelings. There is some situation or issue that you can no longer avoid and ignore.
Wow, what about the bush part?
To see a bush in your dream, symbolizes feminine emotions and desires. It may also be a reference to the female genitalia.
Damn. When's your Brazilian scheduled for then??

 

I had a dream last night that you were gay..
Really....
So, I looked it up today online. It said, To dream that your boyfriend tells you that he is gay or that he doesn't love your anymore, represents your own insecurities with the relationship...
Interesting.
It may also mean that the relationship is moving to a new level to which you are expressing some anxiety and fears about the changing situation.
Or I could just be gay. Really.

 
..What?

 

OH EM GEE!
YOU ARE TEH BUSTED!! EL OH EL!
...
What the...

 

U R TEH SUCK, EMO FAGZ!
YAH, EL OH EL OH EL!!!!
There's a song in this somewhere..

 

oh..em..ge...El oh el???
YAH..el..oh.....that is ...Fuck. That suxx0rs!!

 

OH EM GEE, WE ARE TEH FUNNEH!
OH EM GEE..WHAT TEH FUCK IS THAT??
oh no! we have been teh Haxx0red.
pwned!

 
*slam!*
Owwww!!!!!!!

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