All comics by benums

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by benums
6-12-03
You ever notice that all of your comics contain a gross sexual reference, some cussing, and some 1337 speak.
Yeah, I'm fully aware.
.........
........
Eat smelly donkey cum dogfart!
3y3 r0x0r j00r b0x0rz

 

by benums
6-12-03
So then Joey cheats on me with Pacey. That wicked fuck!
Haven't we already done this?
What do you mean?
You've already pretended to be Zack Morris off of Saved by the Bell, now you're pretending to be Dawson off of Dawson's Creek.
Who the hell are those people?
Why do I even bother? I mean lets take a look at the situation, I'm talking to a flying paper clip. Am I supposed to expect more?

 

by benums
6-12-03
Could you believe that? He's accusing me of pretending to be different tv stars
Look man, I don't know what to tell you, can I have your soul now?
Why?
You said you would sell your soul to talk to the devil. We've talked and now it's time for you to give me your soul.
I just don't get it.
You know what? Fuck it. I've sat here for 6 hours listening to you tell me about your adventures in Bayside. I don't care. Keep your fucking soul.

 

by benums
6-12-03
I've been thinking...How great would it be if you died?
Yeah can you imagine that? I'd be all like *gurk*
I'd be pretty excited. You know if you died. Maybe you shoul give it a try?
You know what? you're asking for an assssssss beeeaaaa**
I think he's having a heart attack. I guess that's what you get when you mix pain pills and draino...
Heellllp....me....I'm fuuucccking...dyyyiinnnggg...

 

by benums
6-17-03
So then Ms. Bliss was dating my dad, and I'm like "I could so get away with stuff" in class...
I saw an episode of Saved by the Bell like that. You know from the future. Zach Morris is like Martin Luther King Jr.
He was shot?
No. He's a symobol of hope.
20 years in the future
All of my faithful servants....eat my butt K? thx
K. LOL. OMG. THX. NP

 

by benums
6-19-03
Hmmmm.......where am I?
Welcome to Heaven, my son.
What? I'm fucking dead? How did this happen?
Well you're not really dead...I just kind of kidnapped you and brought you on this gay cruise ship.
Why are we on a gay cruise shi........ooohhhhh
You got it....I'm a pillow biter.

 

by benums
6-24-03
PICK?! Where the hell have you been? I haven't seen you in 5 days
Well, you wished I would die, but I really didn't die, Jesus wisked me away to a gay cruise ship. Then the ghost of Black Nipples showed up, and me and mystery inc. had to solve the mystery.
I've heard the legend of Black Nipples before. Spooky stuff. You know with the pillaging and murdering little kids...
You need to brush up on your piratology. That's Black Beard, Black Nipples was a barrelpheliac.
What's a barrelpheliac?
Somebody who humps barrels.

 

by benums
6-27-03
I can't stand the look of him, his face makes me so distraught with pain....
So you want to to the movies...we can go to China Buffet......
I love him so much...but he doesn't want me. He just wants my Burger King kids meal..
Chin..Bufff.....sooooo goood
It's like no matter what happens I will always love him...Even though all we've been through...I'll always love you Roger..
SOOOOO GOOOD....SOOOOO GOOOD

 

by benums
7-09-03
Willa...I miss your delightful comics, please make more
Well basically, I've been busy. Rumaging through garbage cans, stealing from the poor, giving to the rich
Stealing from the poor?
Those fuckers don't need it. They've got the money they should share it with the less unfortunate.
Aren't poor people the less fortunate?
Common misconception. Those bums you see with the shopping carts and stuff? Those guys are fake. They go home to their super model girlfriends and BMWs

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