All comics by crabby

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by crabby
7-20-01
You know lately I've been wondering if I'm a guy or just an ugly girl!
This guy is crazy, I just wanted to borrow a Sir Mix Alot CD.
I've been getting this bloody discharge once a month and I think it might be my period.
Hey your just takeing another step into womanhood thats all.
I have a really small penis but perhaps I also have a vagina.
Lets just say you have an outtie belly button, that explains the penis. As for the vagina we'll just say it's a mangina.

 

by crabby
7-20-01
WHO WATCHES THE WATCHMEN?
None of you understand. I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me.

 

by crabby
7-23-01
C-C-C-Captain J-J-J-Jerky how about giving me some J-J-J-Jerky.
Son, I'm Captain Uterus don't you see this emblem on my chest?
B-B-B-But I wanted some J-J-J-J-J-Jerky!
I can give you some uterus.
C-C-C-Can I get it in J-J-J-J-Jerky form?
NO!

 

by crabby
7-23-01
Oh no that jerky caused me to fart right through that panel I hope no one notices.
I am a juicy jerky fart! You can actually smell the moisture in the air.
You better believe I noticed girlfriend. You thought you could pull the wool out from under my eyes, you are the living end.
I think he's some sort of homosexual mind reader.
W-W-W-What did you just say?
Ok I guess he's a stuttering homosexual mind reader.

 

by crabby
7-25-01
Baby I love you your the only one for me. You know the only thing keeping me from you is this damn splitter.
I've heard this before you always use that damn splitter as an excuse.
Alright thats it I'm getting rid of it now. I hope your ready for daddy.
Bring it on skinny. I want some of your hot man sausage!

 

by crabby
7-25-01
That was amazing. That was tender and rough, it was like makeing love to a beautiful sex statue.
I'm pregnant!
Oh boy, I was just in it for the loving not for the long haul. I gotta think of a way outta this.
Your gonna be a Daddy!
What if it's not my kid. I don't know who else you've been sleeping with.
Well it was either you or one of the four other people I've been with recently.

 

by crabby
7-25-01
Well baby the rest of the guys are here.
I feel like a pice of meat in your twisted game of love.
Well it couldn't be me I'm Captain Impotence.
It couldn't have been me everyone knows Wilfred Brimley hasn't been able to get it up in years.
I hope it's me I've been looking for a nice gal to settle down with and start a family.
Yeah thats the ticket, he's the father.

 

by crabby
7-25-01
Well your not the father so you can get the hell out of here now.
Oh what a tangled web you weave. I feel like a piece of meat in your twisted game.
Well baby it looks like everythings gonna be all right.
Yeah I've got a great job as a real estate agent and we can all move into my house today.
Wow your perfect.
I'm also a strictly religious member of the Monkees fan club.

 

by crabby
7-27-01
Sir I think there might be something wrong with this package we just got in, I can't find the PO for it anywhere.
Perhaps thats cause your a dumbass. Let me take a look at it.
The PO is probably up your ass it's a bunch of dildo's and a dog just like I ordered.
Sorry sir I'll get these right into storage

 

by crabby
7-27-01
Sir I think there might be something wrong with this package we just got in, I can't find the PO for it anywhere.
Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that your a dumbass. Lets see what we got here.
It's exactly what I ordered one gay dog with a bone shaped dildo in it's mouth. Get that thing into storage.
Gabe is gonna be pissed!

 

by crabby
7-30-01
Oh man this cow doesn't even see this one coming man this is gonna ROCK!
Take that!
Now what?
MEDIC!

 

by crabby
8-02-01
As prseident of the gay and lesbian alien alliance I would like to ask you about the illegal campaign contributions you've recieved from Kraft foods, Pepsi Co. , and Shell oil how do you respond?
This country is blessed with a rich supply of coal. It is not the invention of any one man; it is God's gift to the people of America. : Fiorello H. Laguardia Mayor of New York 1934-45
As prseident of the gay and lesbian alien alliance I would have to say that your attempting to dodge the question Mr. President.
I am not a crook! Richard Nixon President of the United States 1969-74
As prseident of the gay and lesbian alien alliance do you have anything to say about your impeachment hearings?
Before you vote, Big Evil Daddy... please go look at my cleavage in the other threads. ladyjdotnet Strip Creator 2001

 

by crabby
8-06-01
Sorry Bush but it looks like the better man took Florida.
What happened I dozed off for a second there?
Ha Ha Ha!!! My fellow Americans now that it doesn't matter what I say since I'm president I hate Lieberman he's a dirty jew Clinton jizzed on my blue dress not Monica's and I love tweaking my nipples.
Al Gore baby you said you wouldn't tell them about our time in Paris.
My country tis of thee. Sweet land of liberty for thee I see....

 

by crabby
8-10-01
After being defeated in the last comic cup Crabby seeks advice from his comic stripping brothers.
I'll email some of the other strip creator regulars and see if they can give me some advice.
Drexle and skagg are the first to respond.
Every single one of your strips has to have a crabby reference man people love that.
You know what squeek you gotta start acting more like a little bitch before existence falls into nothing.
Gabe and NastyPope are the last people to offer advice.
Can't help you know crabby I'm reading renegade scripts to prepare myself for the big renegade marathon on USA.
You need to have alot of costume changes or something I'm not really sure.

 

by crabby
8-10-01
Finally I crabby have found the perfect way to beat the heat. I've just created a robo lincoln to help me pass the time.
Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth upon this continent a new nation: Conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Oh no! Someone created a robo John Wilkes Booth and he looks like he's up to no good.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war. . .testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated. . . can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war.
RAAAAAARRRRRR! ROBO JOHN WILKES BOOTH WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
Fuck! Not again!

 

by crabby
8-13-01
Tonights special guest on Unlucky Stiffs......Our savior Jesus Christ!
Hello I need an emergency funeral for my mother tonight, I can see your little funeral parlor is going out of buisness so I will pay one million dollars!
ONE MILLION DOLLARS! But we only get the day to prpare for the funeral! MAMA MIA!
Enbalm her I hardly knew her!
Just get it done Cyril this isn't time for one of your lame one liners! We hardly started and the funeral is only an hour away, MAMA MIA!
Hey Roger how do you like the make up job I did on the corpse for today's emergency funeral?
What did you do shes supposed to be a virgin not a whore! MAMA MIA!

 

by crabby
8-14-01
I'm so lonely I've been thinking about using one of these online dating services.
Oh my god! Don't do it! I told them I wanted a guy who was tall dark and handsome and they hooked me up with this guy Tobor who kept talking about cornholing me.
Cornholing eh? Do you ever get that not so fresh feeling afterwards.
My ass is still sore and then he never even called me.
Three weeks later.......
Your right that was a terrible idea they hooked me up with this guy named Dr. Pedantic and he was just correcting my grammar all night. He was a devil in the sack though.
I boinked him, he's all wam bam thank you ma'am! I was like where's the beef?

 

by crabby
8-16-01
I choose you KANGO.
I choose you HEADO.
Lets do this!
What the hell I got no body.
AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT......
FLAMING LEFT BOOB!
FLAMING RIGHT BOOB!

 

by crabby
8-28-01
Tobor I'm sorry but I'm going to have to disable you. You don't strike fear in the hearts of people anymore.
RAAARRRR!!!!!!! TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU!
Yes, yes very good. Let me go get your replacement.
RAAAAARRRR!!!!!!!
RAAAARRRRR!!!!!! GABE-BOT JERK YOU OFF!!!!!!!!
Damn.

 

by crabby
8-29-01
Little known fact trees are bi-polar.
I long for my boy hood days as a young sprout.
Little known fact there are no sprouts in this panel.
Well know fact this is easily one of the worst comics ever.
Great, now the GABE-BOT is jerking me off.
He better not spunk on my polo.

 

by crabby
8-29-01
Roger Moore?

 

by crabby
9-02-01
Maybe this whole savior thing isn't the way to go.

 

by crabby
9-04-01
Oh no, it's a bum. What should I do?
He saw me looking at him I can't just walk away now.
Here ya go buddy.
I'm not a bum I'm Corey Feldman.

 

by crabby
9-05-01
How are you gonna do that?
I intend to install an air conditioner!
It's not working.
Damn!
What the hell is wrong with you?
I thought I heard hell freezing over but looks like it was a false alarm.

 

by crabby
9-05-01
What did you have in mind?
I'm offering you money for sex.
Oh, I thought you were planning on paying me to kill your son.
Hey whatever gets you off.
I get to kill that bastard Gabe and hump his mom this is my lucky day.
You talk to much lets get down to buisness.

 

by crabby
9-06-01
DexX hold auditions for replacement TOBORS.......
Send in the people competing for the role of man raper in please.
Wirthling's severed head will cornhole you somehow!
AUSTRALIN PRIME MINISTER WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!!!!
Captain Uterus will cornhole you!
GABE-BOT CORNHOLE CAPTAIN UTERUS!!!!!! CAPTAIN UTERUS'S ASS IS SO TONY!!!!!!!!
RAAAAAAR!!!!! TOBOR CORNHOLE EVERYTHING!!!!!!

 

by crabby
9-07-01
Why hello there big bald and beautiful.
Are you some sort of genie.
Sure whatever. I'll give you one wish.
I wish I was big and powerful.
RAAAAAAR!!!!!! GABE MUST CORNHOLE

 

by crabby
9-09-01
I promised myself I'd stop after 300 comics so I guess I'll leave now. Maybe I'll be back one day after the operation.
WAAAAAAA!!!!!! Where did ObiJo go I miss him so bad.
With ObiJo gone I've lost all direction. I got rid of that damn polo and got a whole bunch of kick ass piercings.
What the hell ObiJo left and he took my body with him!
ObiJo was like a Grandfather to me. His love making was always nice and gentle not like that damn wirthling with his rough stuff.
Hey guys it's me ObiJo I finally got that sex change. Did I miss anything?

 

by crabby
9-09-01
I promised myself I'd stop after 300 comics so I guess I'll leave now. Maybe I'll be back one day after the operation.
WAAAAAAA!!!!!! Where did ObiJo go I miss him so bad.
With ObiJo gone I've lost all direction. I got rid of that damn polo and got a whole bunch of kick ass piercings.
What the hell ObiJo left and he took my body with him!
ObiJo was like a Grandfather to me. His love making was always nice and gentle not like that damn wirthling with his rough stuff.
Hey guys it's me ObiJo I finally got that sex change. Did I miss anything?

 

by crabby
9-12-01
Captain Uterus fears no shark.
What if I said I was a dolphin?
I'm not really sure what Captain Uterus's stance on dolphins is.
I'm a dolphin.
I'll just use my Uterus powers on you anyway. Now I have to find a way out of here.
CURSE YOU CAPTAIN UTERUS!

 

by crabby
9-13-01
My bald head is smooth care to touch it?
Sure.
What did you think?
Smooth.

 

by crabby
9-13-01
Open the door it's the police!
Whats the trouble officer?
Where's your body?
JAIL!
GOOD!

 

by crabby
9-13-01
Bro it's a land shark!
I'm gonna touch it.
I can't believe that worked.

 

by crabby
9-13-01
RAAAAAAR!!!!!!
What's the problem my child?
TOBOR TIRED OF BEING TYPECAST!!!!!!
Then stop cornholing.
NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by crabby
9-13-01
God I hate my boyfriend so much he's such an ass to me. He treats me bad and he doesn't deserve me. If only you liked me as more than a friend then I wouldn't need him anymore.
Who says I don't like you as more than a friend, I got like the biggest crush on you.
Oh really thats so cute. God your friend Bob is so cute you think he'd talk to me. Ask him what he thinks about me.
What about you and me though? I thought you wanted something to happen between us.
I did! I did! But your friend Bob I don't know him at all and I'm just wondering if anything could ever happen between me and him.
I'm confused.

 

by crabby
9-13-01
God I can't believe your friend Bob was such a jerk.He was just trying to get me into the sack he didn't care about me at all.I can't believe I had you set me up with him.You're the guy I want though.
Well good why don't we go out and do something this weekend.
Hmmm.... This weekend isn't good for me I have to go to my boyfriend's Grandparent's anniversary party this weekend.
Why are you doing this to me? If your not interested fine, but don't keep acting like you are when your not because I really like you.
I really like you too. You're like the perfect guy.
God I hate myself.

 

by crabby
9-13-01
Wow... That anniversary party really put everything in perspective. I never had any feelings for you at all.
Well... Thanks for telling me.
I'm serious. I'm in no way attracted to you. I can never see you as anything more than a friend but we'll never be friends now because I know that you have a crush on me.
OK, so now there's no chance of a relationship and we're not friends either.
Oh, we can be friends, I guess. I need someone to cry on when my boyfriend is a jerk and I know you'll be there for me. You're like a big sister!
God I hate myself!

 

by crabby
9-14-01
Dirty Beatnik get a job!
Chill.
When will you Beatniks learn.
Chill.
Chill.
Chill.

 

by crabby
9-15-01
Mista why you come here? You got no body for sucky sucky.
Hold on!
We only got 15 words Mista! Why you come here and ruin everything?
Can you give me a second!
You ruin everything! Why you do this?
I'm just trying to get aHEAD!

 

by crabby
9-15-01
Hello everyone. My name is habnem.
HUH! What the hell did you just say your name was MENBAH.
No actually it's habnem.
MENBAH.
Yikes what a weirdo.
MENBAH!!!!!!!

 

by crabby
9-16-01
Hey pal how bout we go caveing together? My friend Roy told me about a real deep dark one we could sink our teeth into.
Dude, what the hell are you talking about.
How about me and you go caveing. I'll carry your head around while were in there don't worry about it.
Hey I don't need your help to go caveing alright pal!
Come on lets go caveing. It'll be so much fun I bet I'll wet myself.
RAAAAAR!!!!! TOBOR WOULD LOVE TO GO CAVEING!!!! NOW TURN AROUND AND LETS GET STARTED!!!!!!

 

by crabby
9-16-01
Hey crabby what's a six letter word for Ass Muncher?
........
........
MENBAH!

 

by crabby
9-16-01

 

by crabby
9-16-01
****DING-DONG****
Oh no! It's flaming poo I better stomp it out.
Damn Him!

 

by crabby
9-16-01
Hey Mr. Kotter. What you doing with that there cat?
This is no time for games Vinny a mans life it at stake.
What?
I said a mans life is at stake!
Where?
I don't have time for this.

 

by crabby
9-16-01
Hi, I'd like to join your Church of Arse.
No problem pal! Your gonna have to be baptised though.
Alright no problem.
Good, You wait here while I get the priest!
RAAAAAR!!!!!!! FATHER TOBOR BAPTISE YOU REAL GOOD!!!!!!

 

by crabby
9-17-01
Awww man there are way to many newbies in here lately. I better call up Someone to handle this.
Brad I got you on speaker phone. I read through those newbie strips and I thought they were really TONY! But if you really want them gone I got a plan.
STRATEGERY!

 

by crabby
9-17-01
Hey lets play strip Yahtzee!
Alright let's go!
YAHTZEE!
Damn!

 

by crabby
9-17-01

 

by crabby
9-18-01

Showing page 2.

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