All comics by dommiel84

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by dommiel84
1-15-03
On the first leg of their journey our heroes encounter their first problem
Oh god... My stomach is killing me... OH NO! The end is coming!!! I'm going to die!
Did you remember to go to the toilet before you left?
Oh... no, I must have forgotten. My colon is probably just full of faeces. I'll have to relieve myself
You'd better not mean masturbation Barry... if that's what you mean I'm going to throw up. That's what you mean isn't it?
After Barry has soiled himself
Oh god.... I feel ill... I think I'm going blind too... My eyes are really stinging... Barry, can I go in front of you?
I'm afraid it may be worse in front, Ollie and Eddie just keeled over.

 

by dommiel84
1-15-03
Our heroes forced Barry to wash his underwear in a river they passed not considering the consequences
Wow, it sure does suck gonads having to walk 20 miles to get to the nearest source of water.
If we were smart we'd move our stupid village. But oh well, this river has supported our village for generations. Golly gee, I sure hope nothing ever polutes it *slurrrp*
Within seconds of drinking the water
Hello little girl. I will be your guide to the eternal hereafter. Weep not out of loneliness, your entire village will soon join you
Oh knickers

 

by dommiel84
1-15-03
Christ I'm thirsty. Why do we always have to walk through the fucking desert?
Oh stop whining. I'm thristy too. Shod, it looks like Barry's wandered off with that doctor
Meanwhile on Barry's route
Hmm, you know Doc, I think you're right. Eddie and Ollie probably didn't go past that "Bridge out" sign.
Well, we could have found our way out if you hadn't chased after that fucking cat fish Barry!
I knew I saw something up ahead, but it's not the way out...
Someone at last! I've been here 3 months! I hope they have oxygen

 

by dommiel84
1-17-03
WE DID IT! We found the way out! All we had to do was swim UP!
And I fucked some cat fish!
Please... I'm... I'm trying to forget
Well, you said you were hungry. I ate it too!
Meanwhile
Fuckers could have taken them with me

 

by dommiel84
1-17-03
Jeff and the Guy With No Pants are lost in the woods alone, well, together but alone... together
Don't worry Doc, I gathered some nice food together for a lovely tastey meal.
Umm, I hate to ask but after the catfish incident... Did you have sex with any of the food I'm about to eat?
Nope... I'm pretty sure I didn't
What's this green stuff?
Just plants. I dunno what they're called but Jeff eats a lot of them
Hurr hurr hurr. Cooool. My ass is bleeding again

 

by dommiel84
1-18-03
Ollie and Eddie finally run accross Barry sleeping on the grass
There's the cat fucker!
Wake up Barry, your mother's here to give you a sponge bath
I thought that would have woken him. Shake him awake
I'm not touching him! He's usually sticky! Barry! You're going to die tomorrow!
Oh look, a slutty cat!
WHERE??? I fuck cats!

 

by dommiel84
1-18-03
With Barry almost out of time, Eddie realises something
Umm, Barry, you're going to die tomorrow and we kind of went on this quest to cure it
We sure did. Wow, I've fucked quite a few cats haven't I?
Umm... yeah. Well, what I mean is, we've been walking for seven days and we've not even fucking done anything!
Hmm, that's true. But on the other hand, I've fucked some cats. I wonder where the doctor got to
The guy with no pants' current state of mind
Spare some change man?
OHMYGOD!!!! Stay away from me man, I'm coming down... God you're spikey. STAY BACK CUNT-FACE!

 

by dommiel84
1-18-03
Our heroes have ventured home, losing all hope in saving Barry from the curse of the Ring
Eddie? It's Ollie... are you in here man?
*sniff* Don't turn the light on!
Are you ok? You're not crying are you?
I... I just buried Barry... out in the garden. I know he'd have wanted to be close to his friends
Oh shit... I... I didn't realise that he'd kicked the hat
*sniff* Oh, he hadn't, but they forecast rain for tomorrow and I'll be fucked if I want to get soaked

 

by dommiel84
1-18-03
Umm, so you buried him alive?
What are you saying? I'm no fucking murderer! I told him there was a cat down there and he jumped straight in... *sniff* Gullable fool...
He didn't try and get out?
No... he was too busy looking for... *sob* for the cat!
Ok... umm, I'm going to go dig him out... you just stay here
I'm gonna miss him...

 

by dommiel84
1-18-03
Barry could die any second
Are you dead yet?
No
Barry could die any second
Are you dead yet?
Cut it out man! You're really depressing me
Barry could die any second
Are you dead yet?
I'm gonna go find a cat

 

by dommiel84
1-18-03
Father Derek has managed to stop Barry on his way to find a cat
Ah Barry, I know you don't really hold any faith in religion but seeing as you're about to die I thought maybe you might like me to read you the last rights or at least let me have a few words with...
Jesus butt-fucking Christ, I need a cat!
you about our Lord and Saviour. See, he created this world for all his creatures, including cats which you seem to love so much. You see, the world is such a beautiful place and we all play our part..
Why won't he get out of my way? I just want a cat! I really need a cat before I die...
Half an hour later
Are you crying Barry? I see my words must have really touched you. I'm sure you'll find peace in the next world...
I JUST WANT TO FUCK A CAT *sob*

 

by dommiel84
1-18-03
Before you die, you will see the Ring
Hello Citizen! You look troubled, how may my rippling muscles help you?
Oh wow! You're Penis Man! Umm, I could die any second, could you save me?
Haha! Well sir, would you like to see my ring?
You're gay aren't you?
Come over here citizen, look at my mighty ring-piece
At least Jeff offers sweets...

 

by dommiel84
1-18-03
The next day!
Hey everyone! I'm not dead!
Shod! How did you manage to survive?
Well... I had to extend my sexuality a tad with a camp super hero, but lets not get into that
You know the funny thing? While you were out we got an anonymous phone call saying that your life would be spared if you were willing to have sex with a house pet!
Well I'll fuck a cat! Hahahahahaha
I'll get you next time Barry... Next time... Oh sod it, I can't be bothered

 

by dommiel84
1-19-03
One day over coffee with my best friend's ex
Umm, you know, me and you get on pretty ok... I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go out with me? I mean, you're always saying I'm cute...
Oooh... Eddie, you know we're such great friends and I've only just broken up and I really don't know where I am with my ex right now...
Trying to put on a brave face
Oh, hey no problem... Yeah, I understand... Umm, you won't tell him will you? That I asked you out I mean? Please don't tell him... that would suck...
Oh, you know what? I'm running late, I have to go...
The day after they got back together
EDDIE! I know you're in there! COME OUT!
I'm really sorry man! Please don't hurt me...

 

by dommiel84
1-19-03
So I said to the guy, "Honestly, I'm not a violent person"
Well, little white lies make the world go round
So then he gets in my face, y'know? He's like "If you're not a violent person then why've you got all these scars, huh?"
Wow, you're scary when you do that
So before things got violent I smashed my bottle on the bar, stuck it in his face and kicked him in the head until he went limp
You should stop meeting your therapists in bars

 

by dommiel84
1-19-03
In Barry's Bed, late one night
Nnnngggg. Come on you bitch! Come on!
Err... Jeff? What are you doing in my bed?
Barry! Oh shit, sorry... I'm just masturbating. You know, I thought you were dead and your bed was free...
Umm, you know that's my penis you're holding...
OHHH thank fuck for that, I thought the drugs had desensitised me! Would you like me to let go?
Umm, I really think you should

 

by dommiel84
1-20-03
After a hard day of digging
Well Barry, I'm sure going to miss you... things won't be the same without all your humorous cat mollesting
Wish he hadn't struggled so much... He's been dead for a couple of days now and he just can't accept it
naye fug gats

 

by dommiel84
1-20-03
Eddie's house
Eddie? You in here? Why's it so dark?
That bastard Barry stole all my light bulbs to prove he wasn't dead
For hat's sake! I keep telling you, he's not dead!
Yeah... maybe you're right. I'm just sticking a new bulb in, then we can worry about Barry's death
*CLICK*
SHOD! Where's your house?
That bastard's tottally stolen everything I own!

 

by dommiel84
1-20-03
Eddie arrives at Barry's penthouse
Barry, what the hell have you done with my house? Where is it?
Umm... what house?
Eddie leaves in annoyance
God dammit! I hate dead people
I fuck cats
There's a familliar house in Barry's bedroom
Hurr hurr hurr

 

by dommiel84
1-20-03
Where Eddie's house used to be
I don't understand... how could barry steal your entire house?
Including Jeff, Derek, my Xbox and my basement/cult HQ
He stole the basement? Isn't there a hole left or anything?
Nope, not even a background!
Your place is easier to find now though! It's the place where there's no place. It stands out in stark contrast
Yeah... but I really miss the privacy that only walls or a crowd of fat people can proide

 

by dommiel84
1-20-03
BARRY! I went to pick your dirty underpants up off the floor of your room and I couldn't move in there! Where did that house come from?
I fuck cats
What did you say Barry???
Umm, I said I found it mum!
Well you can just go and put it back where you found it young man, or there'll me no Pot Noodle for dinner tonight! The bloody thing is crawling with weirdos!
*sigh* Yes mum... Meow

 

by dommiel84
1-20-03
Eddie is getting an estimate for repairing the rip in the scenery
We-ell... It's gonna cost ya son. If it was just the house that was missing I could knock one up in no time...
But the entire background going missing is quite another thing... Plus the whole thing gives me a headache! Hey... what's that noise?
Ohh cool. My house is back. You ok sir? Should your toes be curling like that?

 

by dommiel84
1-21-03
The guy with no pants has awoken from his drug induced haze
Huh? Where the hell am I? Hello? Is there anybody here?
Probe
WOAH! Hey buddy, who are you?
Anal Probe
Umm... I really hope that's your name

 

by dommiel84
1-21-03
RIIIIIIING, RING RING
Hello?
Hi, Waste Of Time temp agency here, I see you recently submitted your CV to us
Yes, that's right. How can I help you?
I was wondering if you could explain this three year gap where you didn't seem to do anything at all. You've put down "Wasn't in prison"...
Chhsssshhhhhh Sorry, you're chhhhsssshhhh ing up I cssssshhhhh camel *click*

 

by dommiel84
1-24-03
Party at Eddie's and Barry has rented Cat Fuckers 2003 for the Xbox
Dammit! This disc won't work! Fucking Blockbusters! I know, we'll spray it wit solvent
Barry, they're going to notice the smell...
Barry has found some industrial solvent on the disc
Do you see that? It's bringing the dirt to the surface! Now I have to wash it off in the bathroom!
Umm, should the disc be warping and bubbling like that?
Eddie comes back from relieving his beer piss
Umm Barry... I just went to the bathroom... was it necessary to shit in the sink?
Hahahahahahaha... I fuck cats

 

by dommiel84
1-24-03
Barry, we're getting tired of Cat Fuckers 2003 now, can't you stick MOH: Frontline in?
Yeah Barry, not everybody gets the same enjoyment from fucking cats on the Xbox as you do
NO!!!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!!! We must keep fucking cats! Drink more beer. I need to go to the bathroom again
Hurry up Barry, I've got more beer piss to get rid of
As Eddie comes back from the bathroom
Umm, I'm not one to point fingers Barry but STOP SHITTING IN MY SINK!
Hahaha, it's cat-fucking-great!

 

by dommiel84
1-26-03
During Eddie's party it's getting a bit cold so Eddie lights a fire
Hmm, the fire's not taking very well, maybe I should put some petrol on it
Do it Eddie, you're the man!
You know, I bet this would make a great comic based on a true story
You're weird Barry. Umm, I think that's enough Eddie... Umm, stop now... I think that's way too much! STOP!
ARGH!!! SHIT!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That's cat-fucking-funny!

 

by dommiel84
1-26-03
Eddie, that fire was great for a while but it's going out again, maybe you should put more petrol on it
Hahaha! That was funny, the flames came right at you! Wish we'd caught it on camera
Yeah, I bet it was real fucking funny... God, I hate you guys
Hahaha. Hey Ollie, get the camera
"ARGH!!!"
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahaha! Man, that's just cat-fucking brilliant
Hey, I think it's taken this time! Don't worry, hair grows back

 

by dommiel84
1-26-03
Eddie comes home from a hard day of being unemployed
Hey Eddie! I did you a favour today while you were out.
Oh hi Jeff. What did you do?
Well, I know you just got that new bunk, and you know they're hard to climb into when you're drunk
Yeah, that's true. And I love getting drunk
And you know how things are lighter in water? Like when you climb out of a swimming pool?
MY ROOM!

 

by dommiel84
1-26-03
Eddie looks to see what Jeff has done to his room
What the fuck is this? How does he stop the water gushing out when I open the door?
You're talking to a fish, you may be suffering from oxygen deprivation
Eddie has words with Jeff. Words like "fuck" and "Bollock-wagon"
So you don't want to stay in your lovely, new, sea-view room?
I'd rather be a pilot for Strip Creator airlines!
Err... this is your pilot speaking, we're now flying over NYC and towards some buildings and I was wondering if some of the fatter people could jump through the gaping holes in the plane
We at SC Air apologise for the uncomfortable trip but this is the only aeroplane we have
The exits are there, there, there, there, there's a huge one there...

 

by dommiel84
1-28-03
Barry's at home watching tv
Arr, ye powers be weak old man
Man I love this show. "Tales of the Jedi Pirates"
Arr, Jim Lad, we must fly to the spice mines of Kessel and find the dubloons. Pack ye some rum
It's so exciting! Man, I'm so hyper I could fuck a cat!
At the end of the show
Do you love the Tales of the Jedi Pirates? Want to watch them film an episode? Do you fuck cats? Then here's a competition for you!
Yes, yes and yes!

 

by dommiel84
1-28-03
Barry is trying to win the competition
Hmmm... "I want to watch a filming of a new cat-fucking episode of Tales of the Jedi Pirates because..."
Barry! What are you doing?
I'm trying to win this competition that was on tv Mum... but I'm stuck for a reason why I'd like to see them film an episode of my favourite program ever!
Well Barry, write from the heart dear, tap into your feelings and tell them why you have to be the one who wins this prize
Ok mum... "I want to watch a filming of a new cat-fucking episode of Tales of the Jedi Pirates because I fuck cats!"
BARRY! Be serious!

 

by dommiel84
1-28-03
Just where have you been?
I've been showing Zero_Entropy some hot man-lovin'.
Ah, to teach him to respect people who are different to him and not to be such a biggoted fucker?
Of course! Why else would I screw something that ugly
Have you been drinking floor polish?

 

by dommiel84
1-30-03
But I don't get how you got off with her... I bought her a drink and then you just swooped in!
It's called being thrifty. No woman is worth the price of a drink. Plus you were taking the wrong approach
But I was being charming! You called her a slut and told her she dressed like a whore!
Exactly, women like a man who treats them like the slappers they are. As I proved tonight. And she bought me a pint
Oh my god you guys!! I won! I fucking won! And you two are coming as my special guests to America to see a filming of Tales of the Jedi Pirates!
Wait... isn't that that cross between Star Wars, Treasure Island and some bizarre animal porn?

 

by dommiel84
1-31-03
Eddie has vowed that nothing on Earth will convince him to acompany Barry to America
Hey Jeff! Look at this picture I found online, is this not the sickest thing ever?
Hmm, yeah, that's quite sick... but I've seen worse. Come and look in my bedroom
I've been redecorating this end of the house
Yeah, I noticed... you've made the corridor look very spacious. I can't see what could be more sick and revolting than that picture
Shortly after
I fuck cats. I mean, hello?
Barry, I'm coming to America with you, I need to get out of this house. And I'm staying at your place until we leave

 

by dommiel84
1-31-03
Eddie's drinking to forget what he's seen
So, you can sleep out here on the couch, I'll be just next door
Ok, I'll be fine here *hic* I just hope I don't have nightmares. Jeff is...fuck man...
Ok then! Oh, and if you hear any noises during the night, as if a man was having sex with a cat, for example, just ignore it
Barry... it would be easier to ignore it if you stopped mentioning it all the time
So Eddie turned the background out and went to sleep
See Barry? I told you to listen to your dear old mum. This is what a real man's penis should be like!
Zzz... huh? Huh?? What the fuck's going on? Barry, if that's your hand I am going to kill you in a drunken rage unlike any other

 

by dommiel84
1-31-03
OLLIE! OLLIE! Let me in!
Huh? Eddie! What the fuck do you want!
I have to stay here. I can't stay at my house and I can't stay at Barry's
Why can't you stay at Barry's?
He mollested me during the night! He's like a cat-fucking version of Gary Glitter
That's so old... You could have said Pete Townsend or Matthew Kelly

 

by dommiel84
1-31-03
Good evening. I would like to take the time to apologise to Barry.
I would like to make it clear that at no point has he or his mother mollested me
Well... his mother hasn't. Come on Barry, be honest, you know you want me

 

by dommiel84
2-02-03
Our heroes are on their way to that big place run by a moron... America, that's it
God I hate SC Air! I'd have rather gone by Royal Mail
Where's my complimentary hat??
I think they're using them to plug holes in the fuel lines
Oh great! That's my entire holiday ruined! All I wanted was a free hat!
I'm so bored... What can we do to take our minds of the fact that we might die?
I've got a gay idea! Let's recount tales of our first kisses!

 

by dommiel84
2-02-03
Eddie: My first kiss was wonderful... I was in bed with this gorgeous woman...
Wow... Eddie, that was amazing! Umm, would it be too much to ask for a kiss?
Yeah, ok I guess. Can I finish my cigrette first?
Ollie: Mine was when I was on holiday in Portugal...
WOW! That was good! Boy, you sprang that on me! Bit of a surprise that was... Did I mention it was good?
Barry: Ah, mine was one of the most defining moments of my life...
?
hurr... wow, that was great...

 

by dommiel84
2-03-03
I don't get it! What did I say???
As you were walking through the airport you shouted "bomb" very loudly
Then you pulled out a box-cutter and said "Boy, you americans are pussies, who's afraid of a little blade?"
And also upon the search done by customs they found your pockets full of weed and condoms filled with white powder up your ass
Yeah, but the white powder was just flour. I just like sticking it up my ass, there's no law against it. And all that other stuff was circumstantial!
I want to be tried seperately

 

by dommiel84
2-03-03
I'm not quite sure how we managed to get out of jail scott-free
Well, I just explained that they were pussies, and there was nothing wrong with carrying a harmless box-cutter and shouting bomb
And what about the drug offences?
Well, like I said, the white powder was just flour and up my arse for enjoyment. And the weed in my pockets was just ground up weeds from the garden.
Wait, you wanted to be caught didn't you? This is just another one of those things that you get enjoyment out of
Hang on... that was just garden-variety weeds? You made me smoke that! It might have been toxic! Stop laughing!

 

by dommiel84
2-03-03
Xbox!
PS2!
Xbox!
PS fucking 2!
Xfucking box!
Fuck you!

 

by dommiel84
2-03-03
Xbox!
Play Station 2!
Xbox!
Play Station fucking 2!
When a debate gets heated ease tensions with a joke
Gamecube
Ahahaha! You crack me up!

 

by dommiel84
2-05-03
Oh my cat-fucking god... I've never been on a "sound stage" before
I would never have guessed, you seem so natural
OH FUCK MY CAT! There's one of the actors... I'm going over to talk to him!
That guy holding the boom mic? I think he's just a sound guy
How about that guy with the brush?
Look for some people dressed as pirates holding lightsabres Barry

 

by dommiel84
2-05-03
Oh wow... Mr. Fukovandi, you're my favourite fictional character
Well, actually, I'm real. The character I play is fictional
Wow, don't you ever get confused?
Umm, no... no I've never been even slightly confused between myself and the part I play
So, how long does it take you to get to Earth to do the filming? Do you stay here while you're working?
I think I'm being called...

 

by dommiel84
2-06-03
Arr, we be on Satsuma 12! X-MTS, prepare me some rum!
Beep beep whoodle
I sense something vaguely bad
Barry rushes the stage and tackles the cheap prop
Oh what are you doing you silly man?
Don't worry Mr. Fukovandi, I'll save you! I can't find any hole for my penis to go, I'll have to make my own

 

by dommiel84
2-06-03
Look Barry, the director has asked us very nicely to keep you away from where they're filming
Which is why we had to tie you to that chair. You're ruining the episode
Arr! X-MTS! There be a cat!
bloop beep blarp!
Wow! Fucking lucky we tied you up Ba- What the fuck?

 

by dommiel84
2-07-03
This is my 99th comic!
Hey Eddie! I found a box full of decorations for the celebration!
Erm, yeah... I was thinking less festive and more... just take them down and let's not mention this again
I bought a shit load of beer for the party!
Excellent! We should start drinking right away to get into the mood! Here, take some of these pills as well!
Eddie... I've killed again... I nailed the body up over the door of an orphanage... Then I set fire to the orphanage
Shut up! It's almost here! 3-2-1...

 

by dommiel84
2-07-03
YAY!
MAN! Those fucking pills were fucking great, fuck, this is cool!
Wow... I've never been invited to a party before... are they always so shit?
Right, party's over, fuck off out of my house. Leave your drinks where they are!
Hahaha, those violent mood-changes are hilarious man.
Don't worry Ollie, I know a great place we can go, the Animal Shelter. All the cats we can fuck!

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