All comics by heyrichey

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by heyrichey
2-08-03
Wandering in a field somewhere in Devon...
Hey, like, are you a bear? Or are you, like, Dennis The Menace? Dude, you're screwing with my head!
Fuuuccckkkk! You could at least answer me! It's really, like, messing with my head! DUDE!
Shut up will ya! I'm just a bear in a red and black striped sweater! Is that too much to understand? Now let me get back to meditating...

 

by heyrichey
2-09-03
After several nasty incidents in his life Hey Richey decided to take a few weeks out in the wilderness
It's, like, so calm and peaceful around here, with, like, no stupid people to piss me off and stuff
But then Hey Richey came across a strange creature
Ha, ur called SICKO bunny! The bunny's a SICKO!
Eh, watch it or I'll rip your puny little head off!
Oh shit!

 

by heyrichey
2-18-03
Sicko Bunny drags Hey Richey into a field to attack him
Right you little shit, I'm gonna sort you out once and for all!
No no, please don't hurt me, I don't want to have to kill a bunny! Let alone a girl bunny!
I'm no 'girl bunny', I just get off on wearing red kinky underwear, you cheeky little runt. I'm gonna have your guts for garters!
Never under-estimate the powers of Hey Richey!

 

by heyrichey
2-18-03
Hey Richey continues to wander round in the countryside
Oh how I love the tranquil, peaceful, innocent, calm air and silence of the country
Hello you pretty young boy you, do you think my tits are big? Would you like to squeeze them? Would you like to suck my hair whilst you squeeze my large tits??
Er... no!
Go on! I'm not diseased! You can fuck me afterwards! Please?

 

by heyrichey
2-18-03
She doesn't give up
Listen, lady, I just don't fancy you! I make it a point not to fuck ugly birds! OK?
Oh please, just one little fondle and a quick fuck, it won't take... 5 minutes?
I'd only screw you if you went and got a total full body facelift and plastic surgery or something, now bog off! you're annoying me now
Yeah? Cool, wait there, don't move an inch til I return...
Best do as the mingin' lady says

 

by heyrichey
2-18-03
10 hours later...
Wow! Ur hot, but sorry, I was waiting for some mingin' lady
Hey, silly, that's me! I'm the mingin' lady after some intensive surgery. Wanna make intensive love?
Ur well cute, ok, I'll do you now
YAY!
The two crazy kids get it on, but it'd be too much like pornography if we showed them actually doing the dirty, so here's a red screen instead.

 

by heyrichey
2-18-03
After their night of passion...
Well thanks for the brilliant sex, but I'm in a sleazy mood so I'm just gonna go and I never want to see you again.
Oh no! How can you do this to me? Ur so mean and evil! Using me like this! How could you? *sob sob*
Ah get over it you soppy cow!
*sob sob* but u seemed so sweet and nice before.
*sob sob sob* that's it, I'm becoming a lesbian!

 

by heyrichey
2-20-03
Hey Richey stumbles into some weird kind of portal
HELP! Like, where am I? What is this place?
You have accidentally wondered into another realm where people are food to be eaten by zombies
Ah shit! How'd I ever wonder into such a place???
It just happens sometimes. Remember that guy out of that band Manic Street Preachers? It happened to him.
And, errrr... need I ask where he is now??
IN MAH BELLY! HUR HUR HUR! Wasn't very filling though. He wouldn't eat any of the crap I tried to feed him to fatten him up. Bloody anorexics!

 

by heyrichey
2-20-03
Hey Richey prepares to fight for his life
Right you sicko Zombie you, I'm gonna destroy you!
Likely story! That's what that Edwards blokey said, then he just read me pages of depressing poetry. So I bit his head off!
Err... Yeah, well, I can't read! DIE SLIME!
No, YOU die! SLIME!
Shit, we got a live one here... maybe best I just send the poor loony back home. Even though his hair *does* look like candyfloss dammit.

 

by heyrichey
2-23-03
Hey Richey wakes up somewhere
Ugh! I feel drunk! Like, where am I?
Oh my god, I dunno where I am and I'm, like, talking to a pink donkey. This must be a new low for me!
You wouldn't say that if you remembered fucking me when you were drunk.
!
And it hurt! bastard!

 

by heyrichey
2-25-03
The Donkey gives Hey Richey bad news
erm... u do know u have to officially marry a Donkey if you've had sexual contact with it, it's the law!
Oh my god! I can't marry a Donkey! Especially not a pink Donkey! What would the neighbours say?
Are you saying u don't love me anymore? After all the things you said to me last night... *sobs*
?
*sobs*

 

by heyrichey
2-25-03
Hey Richey lets the Donkey down gently
Ah come off it, you'll find much better partner material than me! I promise! I'm gonna leave you now... errr... bye!
No, don't leave me here alone! I feel so fragile, so vulnerable, so alone!
Oh no, whatever will I do now? I've been abandoned by the love of my life, how will I ever get over this???
2 minutes later...
Hello. Could you tell me the way to the Newsagents?
*HUBBA HUBBA!*

 

by heyrichey
3-26-03
It's late at night, and Hey Richey's lost his mind
The duck's quacking really gets me going, a-shuddering, shudder, go, quack
How do you do? You old whore. How do you do? Whorebag. Dirty whorebag! Go put some knickers on! You whore. Go put some kinky knickers on. Whore.
Demon, Demon, smells of semen, masturbates all night and day, because he can't help but play with his weener!

 

by heyrichey
1-31-04
SimonDiamond meets heyrichey
I'm Simon Diamond
I'm Hey Richey
You paedo cunt I'm gonna fuck you up and cum in your ear

 

by heyrichey
1-31-04
Simon Diamond realises he made a mistake
Eh? You're Heyrichey?
Yes. Yes I am.
You sick fucking paedo, you ask for all the shit that sticks to you!
Eh?
You heard!

 

by heyrichey
1-31-04
They continue to talk...
Heyrichey! Or should I say GAYrichey! HAHAHA
I'm not gay though
That's not what you said when I spunked all over your ugly face
?

 

by heyrichey
1-31-04
And the conversation goes on...
So then you little faggot jail bait wuss bag of a cunt beating prat whore, how cool are you?
Well, one time I fucking spacked a bloke right in the mouth cos he was being a prick and all, I booted him right in the knob and he couldn't fuck any more, the fuck.
Hey man, you're kinda cool. Let's be mates.
Alright!

 

by heyrichey
1-31-04
They two plan their next move.
So then, now we're buddys and all, howsabout we go find some sexy little dirty sluts to fuck?
That's sounds cool, not had any in ages.
Oh. Watch out.
HAHAHAHAHA!

 

by heyrichey
1-31-04
Heyrichey feels a little guilty
Please understand, it was nothing personal, I just don't have room for a permanent character other than me here
Maybe when the fire's died down he'll be there looking like Brad Pitt?
Oh... no... Ah well, shit happens!

 

by heyrichey
1-31-04
Simon Diamond comes back looking like Brad Pitt and meets Jenniffer Elison
Hey Jenniffer Elison you sexy little bitch, you look like you enjoy a rough dirty fucking.
Yeah, I love it hard up my wet little cunt, but I cum better if I have it up my ass
mmmm yeah! Lets go to my place.
You dirty little slut, I'm gonna screw your pussy so hard you bleed!

 

by heyrichey
1-31-04
Simon Diamond is in Jenniffer Elison's bedroom
See this finger, I'm gonna stick it in your cunt and rub your clit with it, til you cum hard in my mouth
Oh yeah baby I'm so horny, you can do whatever you want to me so long as you fuck me over good and proper
Simon Diamond fucks Jenniffer Elison the hardest and best she's ever been and ever will be fucked in her life
Girl you're the dirtiest slag I've ever screwed. I'm gonna let my buddy Heyrichey cum in that whore little cunt of yours now.
Oh god, I'll take as many cocks as possible in me!

 

by heyrichey
9-30-06
What shall I do tonight?
Maybe repeat that tedious Doctor Leslie stuff that was fucking shit the first time round?
Goodnight everyone. Zzzzzzzzzzz

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