All comics by not_Scyess

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by not_Scyess
10-15-02
I've noticed that I usually have some brain pain before positive permanent mental growth.
I guess you can't force this kind of thing.

 

by not_Scyess
10-18-02
BOO! BOO! BOOOOOO! BOO!
BOOOO!! BOO! BOOOOO! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO!!!!!
BOO! WOOOOOOO!! BOOOO! BOO BOO BOO! BOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOO BOO BOO! BOO! BOO!

 

by not_Scyess
10-19-02
When I look up, there'd better be a ghost there.
This copy of "Exorcism through Reverse Psychology" is wrorth every penny I paid for it.

 

by not_Scyess
10-19-02
...wha... where am I?
You're at the North Pole, Clementine.
Why did you bring me here?
You've been chosen of all the chickens in the world to be this year's "Chicken of Christmas."
If we're at the North Pole, why didn't you use the "snowscape" background?
Sorry, question time is over. Into the oven with you.

 

by not_Scyess
10-19-02
Hi! I'm a dog who can balance on a ball and talk! What's your schtick?
Uh, I'm the poorly-drawn from the online comic "Exploding Dog."
Well, you ain't Charlie Brown, that's for sure. Why is it called "Exploding Dog?"
Haven't the foggiest.
OW!
Oh.

 

by not_Scyess
10-22-02
Hi! I'd like a Whopper with motor oil and a Super Size glass of WD-40.
What? Forget it.
But I thought I could have it "My Way."
Nope. I'm sick of taking wierd orders. I'm paid minimum wage; why should *I* have to deal with *your* stupid preferences?
My hand-claw can crush bone like it was a hollow piece of chalk.
Would you like fries with that?

 

by not_Scyess
11-10-02
Doc... how is my son? What's the diagnosis?
Well, the symptoms are clear -- blindness, excessive hair growth on the palms, chaffing around the penis. It can only mean one thing.
I knew it! I knew this would happen if he kept this up.
Well, you've got to make sure he stops.
That's it, young man! Don't ever let me catch you rubbing your eyes and groin with Rogaine again!
Aw, Mom!

 

by not_Scyess
11-10-02
BOO! BOO! BOOOOOO! BOO!
BOOOO!! BOO! BOOOOO! BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO!!!!!
BOO! WOOOOOOO!! BOOOO! BOO BOO BOO! BOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOO BOO BOO! BOO! BOO!

 

by not_Scyess
11-14-02
Eek! A monster!
A ha ha! I vant to suck...
Go on.
That's all.

 

by not_Scyess
11-24-02
If the criminals make a break for it, don't worry! I've checked the tire pressure on all the police cars.
Uh... thanks.
You needn't worry about the hostages inside, Captain. When you get them released, I have tuna and watercress sandwiches for them to eat!
Yeah. Great.
Well, Mr. I-Want-to-Be-a-Superhero, did you accomplish anything today?
Nothing important! Yet another string of victories for Super Flewis!

 

by not_Scyess
12-18-02
Yep... 2am. I should be sleepy. But I can't stop thinking about it...
3am and still no sign of sleep. I guess I might as well just give up. At least I tried!
*click*
After all, I have a comic contest to win!
Welcome to sc.com... again, you fucking loser.

 

by not_Scyess
12-18-02
Hey, Zip...
What?
Er, nothing... nevermind.
*sigh* did my man-meat slip out again?
Kinda.
Dammit, that's it. I'm going to invent something to fix this problem once and for all.

 

by not_Scyess
1-15-03
Dammit, Igor, Granpa's will said we had to donate this $5,000,000 to a "donation" web site by midnight! Haven't you found one YET?
I'm looking. Hey, what do you think of this comic strip creator? It's kind of cool.
"ok bitch ive not rapped you for a long time now, its time to make up for lost tmie!!"
"yes you fuckin bitch of a hoar!! its unconsenshial sex time"
Jesus, that's awful, but I just can't bring myself to send 5000 g's to the Brittney Spears fan site.
How about this one? Do you think the "UNICEF Dyslexic Midgets Whose Eyes Don't Match Fund" counts as a "donation web site?"

 

by not_Scyess
1-21-03
Hey there! Rub me to get three wishes! I'll grand you anything you want.
You want me to touch you?
I may look disgusting, but I am really an all powerful genie. I am your key to wealth, women, and power!
...or maybe you're a lying sack of shit.
Hey! Do you see a sack? I sure don't. So I must be telling the truth.

 

by not_Scyess
1-27-03
My anus is bleeding.
You're new to this whole "job interview" thing, aren't you?
Well, if that doesn't set me apart from the other candidates, I'm not sure I want to work here, anyway.

 

by not_Scyess
1-27-03
My anus is bleeding.
Read my lips: PAPER OR PLASTIC?
Read my lips! MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!

 

by not_Scyess
1-27-03
My anus is bleeding.
Um, are you SURE Dr. Nicolson wanted you to accept his Nobel Prize for chemistry in his place?
MY... ANUS... IS... BLEEDING!!!!!

 

by not_Scyess
1-27-03
If myanusisbleeding and you know it clap your hands!
*CLAP! CLAP!*
If myanusisbleeding and you know it clap your hands!
*CLAP! CLAP!*
...all I'm saying is you could've picked someone better to lead the camp sing-along.
If myanusisbleeding and you know it, and the blood is really flowin', if myanusisbleeding and you know it clap your hands! *CLAP! CLAP!*

 

by not_Scyess
1-27-03
We have cloned an army of hyperintelligent kangaroos to invade the earth! All humans will dispair when they hear their terrible battle cry!
MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!!!
What? That's the battle cry?
Dammit, that's not right. When I find out who's responsible for this...
Heh heh...

 

by not_Scyess
1-27-03
Okay, next up we have Saturday Night Live Auditioner #42, "Anally Bleeding Guy." So, what's your schtick?
My anus is bleeding.
Um, all right...
MY ANUS IS BLEEDING!!!
Stop everything, Bob! Set this guy up with a "Roxbury Special," NOW!
Right. I'll get him a dressing room, make sure we use him every week for at least three months after his one-horse act is no longer funny, then I'll call Hollywood and set up a movie deal. I'm on it.

 

by not_Scyess
1-27-03
My anus is bleeding. My anus is bleeding. My anus is bleeding. My anus is bleeding. My anus is bleeding. My anus is bleeding. My anus is bleeding.
My anus is bleeding. My anus is bleeding. My anus is bleeding. My anus is bleeding. My anus is bleeding. My anus is bleeding. My anus is bleeding.
So, how did you enjoy your tour of our School for the Deaf?
I had a great time, thanks.

 

by not_Scyess
1-27-03
I don't even know how you can do that... I mean, do you only bleed in certain places? Can you control your blood pressure?
Do you know how to bleed in certain patterns? You you bleed at precisely the same time every day?
No, I meant that blood is actually coming out of my anus, not that I'm anal about the way I bleed.
Ah.

 

by not_Scyess
1-27-03
My anus is bleeding.
Whadda ya want, sympathy? I'M NAILED TO A FUCKING PIECE OF WOOD, HERE!!
No, I just thought I'd mention it.

 

by not_Scyess
1-27-03
Damn. What's all that red stuff you're sitting in?
I spilled some ketchup on my chair.
Okay, I'll just go get something to wipe that up.
Thanks!
I'm glad it's just ketchup. I could've sworn...
Oh, and also my anus is bleeding.

 

by not_Scyess
1-27-03
Hey... what are you doing with that! Oh my god! Aaahhh! Help! Oh, no! My pancreas is bleeding!
I done it, boss. We're sure to win the comic contest now.
No, you idiot, can't you even follow the most basic instructions? ANUS, not pancreas, you stupid, imbicilic, incompetent toad of a...
Sorry... allow me to correct my mistake...
Gah! My anus is bleeding!

 

by not_Scyess
1-27-03
Honey, I want to apologize for being such an asshole the other day.
That's okay, dear. You may be an asshole, but at least you're MY asshole. But I've got some news for you: I'm pregnant!
Oh, my gosh! You mean...!
Yes! My anus is breeding!
What? That's it? That's the joke? That's awful. Is the reader supposed to make the "asshole - anus" connection? Jesus! Who writes this shit?
I'm going to complain to Mr. Stevens. I don't think I can take much more of this.

 

by not_Scyess
1-28-03
For the last time, no I don't want to hear about your competative interest rates.
...but have you heard about our easy installment payment plan?

 

by not_Scyess
1-28-03
I heard that they're going to take away our comfy straw beds!
Oh, no! My hay-nest is leaving!
Look, if you want to be in this porno, you're going to have to make your small breasts look bigger by puffing your chest out more.
What? You don't like the way my A-cup is heaving?
Wow... I had no idea you could eat peanuts with your ass.
Sshhh... I need to use all my concentration when my anus is feeding.

 

by not_Scyess
1-29-03
o/` Don't cry for me Argentina... o/`
o/` Don't cry for me Argentina... o/`
o/` Don't cry for me Argentina... o/`
Somebody... shoot... me... NOW...
o/` Don't cry for me Argentina... o/`
o/` Don't cry for me Argentina... o/`

 

by not_Scyess
1-29-03
We've fallen! And we can't get up!

 

by not_Scyess
1-30-03
Don't worry, we'll get you access to your account soon.
I should've had it all along. Stupid UNIX admins.

 

by not_Scyess
2-06-03

 

by not_Scyess
2-07-03
Hi! I'm here to take you up on your offer!
Hey! Your ad said "more bang for my buck!" But that was definitely a "boom."
Musta been a typo.

 

by not_Scyess
2-17-03
Your move. Let's see you get out of my little trap now.
Easy enough. My rook takes your king with its special Rook Conflagration Attack.
Where did a duck learn a word like "conflagration?"
You get the right to criticize my vocabulary after you finally beat me in a game of chess, Mr. Darwin-Was-a-Member-of-My-Species.

 

by not_Scyess
2-26-03
1st beer...
3 beers later...
5 more beers...
Shit! I think I've been drinking non-alcoholic beer.
As soon as he heads for the men's room I'll make a break for it.

 

by not_Scyess
2-27-03
Hi. You don't know me, but you know of me. I'm a bit, the basic unit of information in computing.
I've been chosen to talk to you about the needless slaughter of our kind just so you can read pointless comics like this one.
Please do your part to save a bit. I mean, really. It's not even funny. To think... 5K of my friends and realtives died so you can read this tripe. Go read the Garfield site, at least. Damn.

 

by not_Scyess
2-27-03
♫ Thou giveth fever, when we kisseth. Fever with thy flaming youth. Fever! I'm a-fire! Fever, yea, I burn forsooth. ♫
Well? What do you think?
Well, you're no Peggy Lee.
No, I mean do you think there's any other comic on this site with a pimp and an Asian girl that doesn't involve sex for money?
What do you mean "other?"

 

by not_Scyess
2-27-03
Dude! This chick is totally going to cyber with me!
I'm gonna cyber too!
Oooohhh...
Yeaaaahhh...
Um, you wouldn't be cybering with some guy while pretending to be Ch1ckC00LCh1ck, would you?
Er, NO! Of course not! **REBOOT**

 

by not_Scyess
2-28-03
Hi, little girl! Free cigarettes?
Sure! Thanks, Karcenogen King!
Say, isn't it a tough lot to dress up like a cigarette and hand out smokes to kids?
Oh, sure, people complain, and can even get violent, but I'm okay with it because I'm bringing the joys of nicotine to the masses.
Maybe you should take a job at a tabacco company.
Nah. Work is work, hobbies are hobbies.

 

by not_Scyess
3-04-03
Ha! Is that the best you can do, lightweight?
Curses!

 

by not_Scyess
3-06-03
Come see it, folks! You won't believe your eyes!
Every single inhabitant here wanders around stark naked in full daylight!
Watch out-of-wedlock sex, and the occasional round of unconsentual sex!
If you're really lucky, you'll get to see an orgy, or rampant poop-flinging!
So what are you waiting for! You know you want the be a part of the hedonistic delights! Come visit the zoo today!
No one under 18 admitted.

 

by not_Scyess
3-07-03
Hi, mister. Want to subscribe to Popular Mechanics?
No. Why would I?
'cause I'm authorized to fuck your brains out if you do.
I'll take 5 subscriptions! Let's go!
Tonight on health news: A new study finds Popular Mechanics linked to syphilis.
Woah! Time to cancel my subscription.

 

by not_Scyess
3-09-03
*yawn*
Nazis rule! White power! / OMFG U SUXX0RZ!!!! / I like abortions. They're cool. / ADfdafadfADFadsfdafAFDSADFa / OMFG, this totally off-topic thing happened, let me explain it in several pages.
Hhmmm...
Koppelate: What's wrong with this forum? Everything here is off-topic, SPAM, offensive, or just gibberish! The moderator needs to learn how to do his job!
This is a violation if I ever saw one. {delete post} {user=Koppelate := BANNED}

 

by not_Scyess
3-10-03
CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP
CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP
CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP
(burp)

 

by not_Scyess
3-10-03
CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP
CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP
CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP
More firewood?
No, thanks. This is enough.

 

by not_Scyess
3-10-03
CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP
CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP
CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP
... sticks?
No, thanks. I'll use a fork.

 

by not_Scyess
3-10-03
Get that cigarette out of my face.
Bite me.
CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP
CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP
CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP CHOP
Okay, that was wierd.
You're telling me...

 

by not_Scyess
3-10-03
You're not going anywhere until you clean up this room, young lady. It's like a pigsty!
No, it's like a rabbit warren.
See?
'sup.
I always loved your sister best.
His name's Buford. We're engaged.

 

by not_Scyess
3-20-03
Class, who can tell me what 7 + 3 =? Steve Jr.?
ROIT!
WEWL THE SEVEN AND THE THOREE, ROIT, THEY'RE NATIVES TO MATHEMATICS! AND WHEN THEY MEET, THEY WONNA ADD UP, ROIT? THESE TWO SPECIMINS ARE BEAUTS! LOOK AT THE CURVES ON THAT THOREE!
*sigh* If you don't know the answer, please just sit down, Steve Jr.
NOW IN MATIN' SEASON, THEY CAN GET TOGETHA AND PRODUCE A SINGLE OFFSPRING. THESE ARE CUTE LI'L BUGGAS KNOWN AS... NOIN!

 

by not_Scyess
3-20-03
I heard you got engaged!
Yes! I'm going over to her house to make wedding plans after I eat some of these tasty orange melon chunks.
Cantaloupe?
Nah, she's always wanted a big wedding.
What?

Showing page 2.

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