All comics by punkrockskaboy

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by punkrockskaboy
9-25-02
o/` When I think about you I touch myself...o/`
Christ, here we go again...
o/` Oh, oooohh, I don't want anybody else...o/`
o/` But I....Want nude...photos o/`
YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE PHOTOS NOW GIVE IT A REST!

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-25-02
Whatcha got there? Nails huh? Be right back.
There we go. Now what?
Maybe I'll nail your coffin shut...
OK OK...I'll leave you alone...sheesh

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-25-02
So he says "I'm leaving you. You have been nothing but a pain in my ass for months."
So I was like "FINE! I don't need you anyway!"
But now I am starting to miss him! So I am not sure if I should call and beg forgiveness or if I should just cry it off and move on with my life and...

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-25-02
Should I stay or should I go now?
Well, he's got a "Black coat, white shoes, black hat, cadillac"...
Should I stay or should I go now?
He does have a cadillac...
If I go there will be trouble, but if I stay it will be double. So come on and let me know, should I commit or should I blow?
What can I say boy; you're a time bomb! Take me!

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-26-02
Hiya buddy
Well, hey there little guy! Wow...a talking squirrel. Where'd you learn how to talk?
The same place I learned to kick your ass then go to your house and fuck your mom's sweet ass.
Hey now little guy, you know you can't kick my ass and your dick is waaaayyy to small to please my mom.
Dammit.

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-26-02
We seem to have a problem here Ervin.
Jesus H. Christ, Herb. What is it now?
Well, you see the sword I am carrying now? Yeah, thats because God thinks you are being too nice to the dead.
Ok...well, what does he want me to do? kill them by gutting them like a fish instead of just touching them?
No..umm, actually he wants you to slice off their genitals, THEN kill them with your touch.
Well, he's the boss. The sick fuck.

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-26-02
But wait a second...I have a sickle. Can't I just do the genital thing with that?
Thats what you ARE going to do...
So why the sword?
This goes up their ass first.
He doesn't get cable does He?

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-26-02
Have you ever thought about a change? Maybe killing everyone with an axe just isnt what you should be doing.
hmmm...maybe..
You should branch out, look into something different. Doesn't axe murdering get boring?
You know, he was right! I like knife murdering wayyy better than axe murdering!

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-27-02
What time is it? SHIT! I think it is time to sabotage V-Girl! I'm gonna be late!
MOM! I'll be in my room, please don't disturb me!
OK Honey. Just don't use the vacuum again! You know what happened last time!
In Sub's room, the battle ensues:
HAHAHA! My arch-rival V-girl. Finally we meet. Are you prepared to die?
OH NO!!! I am afraid I am no match for you!

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-28-02
Alright, we need to talk God. This whole "rip off their genitals while sticking a sword up their ass thing" is a little much for me.
So you are telling me I need to find a new Reaper, Ervin?
That isn't what I am saying. I am saying that I think you should reconsider.
Alright, alright. I won't make you do the sword enima/genital hacking thing, but only if you promise to give the sword back to Herb.
Ok, but why?
Because I am gonna make him become a blade swallower for my new circus: "cirque de Holei"

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-28-02
What!?!?
Yeah, I figure that it's time I let the people know I'm real. What better way to do it than with contortionists and fire eaters?
You've been drinking again havent you?
No.
Then where are your pants and how do you explain the bottle in your hand?
ok, ok. Maybe I've had two or twelve.

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-28-02
Besides, you can't let humans know you are real. You know that. It would be a breach of your Union contract.
Yeah, I guess you're right. Zues tried that once and they took away his lightening bolts. Damn Diety Union.
So this is all settled then?
Yeah, but I've REALLY gotta piss.
And now, on location in New York is John Beachman with the weather. John?
Thank you, Jim. The rain we are experiencing at the moment shows no sign of letting up for the next 24 hours...

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-28-02
Whats your favorite pet name for your penis little boys?
Mutton dagger, old blind bob, Hanging Johnny, Fishing rod, Tally whacker, pocket rocket, one eyed trouser trout
Ding-dong, Ankle spanker, Pork sword, Engine Cranker, Harry hotdog, Davey Crocket, let them all hang out.
Pet names for genatalia! You know the girls think of them and you gotta love 'em. Pet names for genatalia! There's always something silly about little willy!

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-28-02
Wang wazoo, Weiney whacker, Pecker peepee, Kidney cracker, Heat seeking moisture missile, Giggle stick, Love whistle
Tube steak, Uncle Dick, this is getting really sick! I'm not through there's one more PURPLE HELMET WARRIOR!
Pet names for genatalia! You know the girls think of them and you've gotta love 'em. Pet names for genatalia! There's always something silly about little willy! PET NAMES FOR GENATALIA!

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-29-02
George Dubya and wife In Washington:
Honey. Am I stupid?
No. no George. We have been through this. You are gifted remember?
It's just that the press is picking on me and saying I'm dumb, which is a gross misunderestimation. I'm not dumb, I just mix up my words. Tell me I'm smart baby.
Now honey, I can't say that. That would be a lie and lies are bad.
Lies are the basis of politics! You should know that.
and you should know how to form a sentence. You don't see me complaining.

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-29-02
You know what I need?
Not again George, we just did it three days ago.
Not that honey. I need a vacation.
Where are you gonna go? You have to lead the nation!
That's right...well, tell Dick he can hold the reigns for a while. He'll have a ball!
*sigh* Ok, you're the boss. I'll pack your bags.

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-29-02
So there Bush went. Trekking through unknown territories:
Say little girl, where am I?
You're in the backyard dad.
Oh! Hi honey. Here, take this hundred dollars and buy yourself something nice.
Discount liqour here I come!
I wonder how those folks are getting those yellow transportamobiles to stop?

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-29-02
Finally, after mastering public transportation, Bush was on his way:
I didn't know Montana was so big! Where are those transportamobiles?
George walked and walked, then finally found someone who could help him.
Why hello there, I am the president. I was wondering if you could tell me where I can find a good time?
Why sure brotha. Just come with me, I'll find you the finest action in Nevada!
LAURA!? How'd you get to Nevada?
My pimp, I mean, my friend flew me here for a week.

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-29-02
Bush got on a plane to Europe.
Excuse me, stewardess? Can I get one of those little bags of peanuts. I love those things. Air force 1 stocks 'em for me.
Sure thing Mr. Bush.
Spain:
No comprende Ingles
No problema. ¿Come usted los pies de chicas jóvenes cuando bailar el tango?
¡Enfermo jode!
¡Agradeza a amigo!

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-29-02
Then France
Votre roi en forme d'odeurs un bon marché et votre vin dégoûte!
Je vais dire les autorités de ceci, vous le diable étranger!
Vous remercier, j'aimerais que votre mère pour ait eu le sexe avec moi!
Je ne pense pas qu'il sait qu'il parle il de
*french accent* Ok, you are coming with me!
What did I do?

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-29-02
After getting out of French Prison
That was crazy! But where am I now?
Sie sind in Deutschland
Deutschland? I can't even pronounce that! I'm leavin
Of all places: (NOTE:actual language that asian girl is speaking is portuguese)
Excuse me, could you tell me where I am?
Estão em senhor de Iraque!

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-29-02
After all that travel, Dubya comes back to Washington
How was your trip honey?
It was great! Even the French prison! Meet my friend Jacques!
Bonjour mon amour. Laisse avoir le sexe passionné dans la chambre à coucher pendant que votre mari au travail
absolument!
I LIKE him!
I thought you would!

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-29-02
Now back to runnin the country!
Umm...that won't be necessary.
Why not?
Dick Cheney lost the country to cthulhu the intergalactic conqueror
Bow before me puny earthling and former ruler of this country.
How do you brush those things?

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-30-02
I guess God just has a little too much on his plate right now. Booze is his best friend lately.
Yeah I know. It seems like every other day I have to stop him from breaking his Union contract by doing something stupid.
Yeah, he needs to get things back in order. Or maybe he needs to get laid.
Well, it isnt that he doesn't get laid, he just doesn't wanna use condoms and now he has that little arrogant Jesus as an illigitimate son. Which reminds me...
Umm, Jesus...You're time has come. Your father wants you to come live with him. You have been hanging there for years now.
He hasn't been here for me my whole life and now he wants to be my "dad". Screw him.

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-30-02
Alright. I got him for you. But he is NOT happy.
I see. Well, send him in and we will talk
Five hours later.
FINE! Just for all this I am leaving you up there you ungrateful little bastard!
That's right. I AM a bastard thanks to you!
So, I guess now God is LEAVING Jesus on the cross because they got in this big fight.
I saw God storming around. He was mumbling and saying "that little son of a bitch. I make him the SON OF GOD and he whines. Then I had to stop him from destroying a small village.

 

by punkrockskaboy
9-30-02
What happened immediately after God and Jesus' fight:
Just calm down God.
That little son of a bitch! I make him the SON OF GOD and all he does is whine. "Where were you when I was being beaten and tacked to a cross for everyone's sins?"
Dammit God. Everytime you get pissed we start to float. Bring us back down. You have to learn to control that!
Sorry. I think I will just go destroy a small town. No one will miss it if I take it out of Rhode Island.
That is a BAD idea. The Diety Union will shit a brick. Remember what happened when Ra tried to flex his muscles over the Egyptians? He had to go to an Anger Management Seminar
Yeah. They temporarily suspended his Diety License and everything

 

by punkrockskaboy
10-02-02
God and Jesus hash things out:
I wish you'd known me when I was alive, I was a funny feller. Oh_yes_I_was_a_comical_priest. "With a joke for the flock and a hand up your fleece" Drooling the drink and the lipstick and greasepaint
Down the cardboard front of my dirty dog-collar .
You mean you didn't live a devout Holy life?
Nah, that sorta came after I arrived at the gates of heaven. You'd be amazed at what kind of BS you can make up to get into heaven. Ya see, I didn't create heaven. It was already there.
and all this time I thought you were Heaven's founder.

 

by punkrockskaboy
10-02-02
No, I created hell.
How did you become Supreme Deity then?
It was actually a drunken tyrannical rise to power. See, Lucifer was God. I came and decided it was a pretty sweet gig, so I kicked his ass and threw him in "Hell". My own brain child, thank you.
So, everything I read was a lie? You were actually just a drunk with a goal of taking over Heaven and Lucifer was GOOD?
Pretty much. Lucifer was a pussy. Little did I know, the Deity Union doesn't care about overthrowings. They accepted me as the new God of Heaven with open arms.
Interesting.

 

by punkrockskaboy
10-02-02
Meanwhile, In Hell:
Yeah, so God gave me horns and a pitchfork and sent me to hell. He reigns now in Heaven as the new God.
You were a big pussy then werent you?
I wasn't very strong. I never had to worry about being overthrown before that asshole, Sherman, showed up. I ruled with kindness and was loved by all.
I'm confused. Then why do you rule hell with an iron fist?
Because I am bitter.
God's real name is Sherman? hahahaha

 

by punkrockskaboy
10-02-02
So you see, it wasn't that I didn't WANT to be a part of your life. But the duties up here are difficult and many. Besides, you know about my drinking problem.
Yeah, I understand. Why Mary though? Why was SHE my mother?
I needed someone who wouldn't try to rip you out with a coathanger because she didn't want a baby.
Ohh, umm...too much information dad. Does this mean I can come down off the cross now?
No. Sorry. Look on the bright side. At least it doesnt hurt anymore.
Yeah, take what you can get I guess.

 

by punkrockskaboy
10-02-02
Note: Anyone reading this comic that does not use SC.COM, will not get this comic as it is a stripcreator political comment:
Dildo!
Dildo!
MEN SHOVING DILDO UP ASS OF THEIR!
MEN SHOVING DILDO UP ASS OF THEIR!
What did I tell you about yelling profane things into the mirror young man!
I'm so lonely...

 

by punkrockskaboy
10-02-02
I think I need a vacation.
Oh?
*Sticks foot out*
Ow!
Have a nice trip?
Fuck you.

 

by punkrockskaboy
10-02-02
Dildo!
Dildo!
DILDOS IN MENS' ASSES! DILDO DILDO DILDO!
DILDOS IN MENS' ASSES! DILDO DILDO DILDO!
Benny, get out of the bathroom this instant and stop saying those profane things into the mirror!
Ok mommy. I am just gonna go in my room and..um...vacuum.

 

by punkrockskaboy
10-08-02
Dadaism is a shitty Idea for a comic.
I think that this can of worms could have been avoided
Well, I think you are a jerkoff.
Since it is here, I sort of like the idea of a comic competition about things like dadaism
I refuse to agree that you exist WITH me, let alone that your parents existed BEFORE me to create you.
Well, I guess you are fucked then aren't you.

 

by punkrockskaboy
10-08-02
Well, I don't know about that. I do, however, think you are fucked.
Well, I think that the notion of being fucked, since it existed before us, is a notion we do not have to accept.
Interesting.
Think about it. People have been saying "you're fucked" for years before us. Therefore, since it existed before us, we don't have to acknowledge it's presence
Still think that?

 

by punkrockskaboy
10-09-02
Hey guys, I stopped using bad english and I started using proper punctuation! I'm "in" now! [dancing] [dancing]
We still all hate you.
Well in that case I am hating the you and being the stupid again
I'll be right back...
You fucking ass! [stabbing] [killing]

 

by punkrockskaboy
10-09-02
I showed them! I am the cool and the funny!
So long you fucking moron...
Yay!!! I am the cool! [dancing] [dancing]
[dancing]
[burning] [burning]
[pissing] [pissing]

 

by punkrockskaboy
10-31-02
Jesus man, what is that awful smell??
Oh, my roommate and I went to this huge party and all our clothes wreak like liquor and sluts.
Niether of you threw up?
Nah, we don't throw up. Only lightweights throw up when they drink
Then why does it smell like a dog died in your bathroom three weeks ago?
I plead the fifth.

 

by punkrockskaboy
10-31-02
It isn't this easy...not even for college students.
Hi, I'm Bobby.
Hi Bobby. I'm Cindy.
So whats up?
Not too much really. Wanna go fuck?
Lead the way!
Now we're talkin.

 

by punkrockskaboy
10-31-02
What are you doing?
Just gotta go take care of something. Be right back...
What did you do!?!
It's so sweet! If your roommate dies, you get an automatic 4.0!
Ok , first of all, it is just a myth. Second of all, the myth is if your roommate commits SUICIDE. You, my friend, are going to jail.
Do me a favor and hold my sickle while I go wash the blood off my shirt.

 

by punkrockskaboy
11-02-02
I'm sorry, the time has come.
Oh don't give me a sob story, just come on. Death isn't all that bad.
Seriously, it is like a party up there.
Don't make me stick this up your ass.
*Sniff* but I make children happy! I'm jolly ol' St. Nick.
Cry me a river fatty.

 

by punkrockskaboy
11-12-02
mmmhmmm
Yep
So then I says "that applet window isn't gonna generate gravitrons by itself".
Wow
I know, you hate me.
More than you know asshole.

 

by punkrockskaboy
11-17-02
*Zap*bang*slam*
I wish you would stop playing those damn games. You have been playing that one alone for over an hour!
*BANG!*POW*BOOM
You are going to ruin your eyes!
and due to YOUR excessive drinking, you have cirrosis of the liver at fifty.
Touchè.

 

by punkrockskaboy
11-17-02
49...FIFTY!
What are you doing?
Counting to make sure I have all my commerative quarters. See, I swallowed one, and it got caught in my intestines...I had a hell of a time getting it back..
Shouldn't you be out saving the princess?
fuck you.

 

by punkrockskaboy
12-17-02
You know something? I love you. I really love you
No, really...I do!
And not just because you look like a giant vibrator either...
Whatever gets me laid

 

by punkrockskaboy
12-17-02
Is that it?
No, no, that's not it...
How about now? Am I in?
No...have you ever done this before?
Amatuer
You try putting a fucking tape in the VCR when the lights out!

 

by punkrockskaboy
12-19-02
God! Do you hear that? My brother is playing his shitty disco music again. Oh! Guess who is in town tonight! *whisper*
Holy shit! NO WAY! In our little town!
Kelly heads down in anticipation...
Waitaminute...you aren't Helen Hunt! You're...
After the appearance
So, as it turns out...it wasn't Helen HUNT. It was Helen Keller.
YOU met Helen Keller!?!?!

 

by punkrockskaboy
12-19-02
I told you it wasn't a sham!! I won! I finally won!
Won what??
The Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes! Now where did I put that letter?
I'm telling you, it's a crock of shit, just like that fucking Best of Disco CD you bought last year.
Go ahead, open it...
"Dear Mr. Rockman, Congratulations! You have won the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes! However, due to the amount of winners this round, the check enclosed is only good for $1.50".....Ah dammit.

 

by punkrockskaboy
12-20-02
HAHAHA!!! This is the year I finally capture my arch-enemy!!
and who might that be?
SANTA CLAUS!!!
DUDE! Your arch-enemy is santa? That is fucked up.
We have been at war for years...every year he sneaks into my house, eats MY fucking cookies, wakes me up with his stupid reindeer, and I have to clean their shit off the lawn!
I don't even know where to begin telling you how stupid you are.

 

by punkrockskaboy
12-20-02
How can one little, fat, old man cause so much pain?
Santa is good and jolly, not evil.
That's what he WANTS you to think. You have shown your ignorance, my friend.
What about the presents?
A simple decoy. He is trying to turn the world against me!
Dude, don't YOU get presents?

Showing page 2.

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