All comics by shrewdom

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by shrewdom
8-23-03
The applet uses the Riemann-Siegel formula for computing values of the zeta function.
http://www.math.ubc.ca/~pugh/RiemannZetaComplex/
lookit the blue dot go!!!

 

by shrewdom
8-25-03
Someone called me a cock sucking fag the other day.
Well, that wasn't very nice.
I know! Christ, you can't just randomly start sucking a strangers cock these days without childish name calling being thrust upon you like oh so many sweaty steel workers!
..that's gay.
STOP THE OPPRESSION!

 

by shrewdom
8-27-03
Lizard man, i'm sick of people wanting to make a pie outta me. Pumpkins have feelings too
That almost makes me feel bad about eating your entire family.
gasp!
::crying::
If it makes you feel better, I ate my entire family, too.

 

by shrewdom
8-27-03
what are you doing in there, maurice?
(fwap fwap fwap fwap fwap) NOTHING! Go away!!!!!
OH SWEET JESUS!!!
SHUT THE DOOR!!!!!
you've been playing with the adjusting tab again?!
it's my body, i can do what i want!

 

by shrewdom
8-30-03
Do you know how fast you were going back there?
Fast enough to know you're a faggot.
...That may be so, but it doesn't mean you can just stand there and...STOP TURNING ME ON, DAMNIT!

 

by shrewdom
9-01-03
LETS SAVE JESUS!!!!!
if you want to go back in time, you have to shimmy like you've never shimmied before!!
Both shimmy with much vigor
Shimmy shimmy shimmy Shimmy shimmy shimmy Shimmy shimmy shimmy Shimmy shimmy shimmy Shimmy shimmy shimmy Shimmy shimmy shimmy
Shimmy shimmy shimmy
well...here we are...
that made my sack feel funny!

 

by shrewdom
9-02-03
Scrotum boy! Fetch me my tweed hat!!!
I think you're drunk again, Mr. Cheney
You! You don't know anything about this country! I demand a recount! WHERE ARE MY FUCKING PANTS?! I thought I called you already.
Christ! When was the last time you shaved?
Let's have a sleep over, dubya.
Get out.

 

by shrewdom
10-10-03
Gotdang, floatin' arm. yous smell itchy!
look, maurice. i know it's been rough since your spoon passed away, but look at it this way: every time a bell rings, it annoys the hell out of at LEAST on person.
Jingle Bells plays soflty in the backround
Yous on some kind o'stupid drug, aintchee?
It's called MTV.

 

by shrewdom
11-07-03
Under the right circumstances, a producer could make more money with a flop than he could with a hit!
I'M WEARING A CARDBOARD BELT!
For a man with no pants, you're a genius!
I'm disturbed, amused, aroused, and a cattle guard all in one!
I'M IN PAIN! AND I'M WET! AND I'M STILL HYSTERICAL!
Epileptic keys remind me of butterflies
FLAP YOUR WAY TO GLORY!! (Not to be confused with fap your way to glory, we're out of kleenex!)

 

by shrewdom
11-07-03
Most Online Personals give you a picture and a paragraph and call it a match!
YOU'RE NOT CUTIEANGEL6969!!
You're not littleromeo14!!!
This is an awkward meeting indeed!
All those minutes of thinking you were a young tender boy thinking i was a young girl gone to waste!
Well, shall we hit the big, gay van anyway?!
*drops trousers* okee dokee then

 

by shrewdom
1-14-04
you know, i learned something today. Tainted meat and broken Lithuanian dreams make for a fantastic sitcom.
We can call it "Jurgis, Marija and a shit load of poor Lithuanians get tuberculosis from a shitty job that uses infested dead pregnant cattle to make Willys Consumption Sausage!!!!"
...You, my friend...are not wearing pants!
Oh dear god!

 

by shrewdom
1-24-04
I wonder if there's another dimension, and if so, I wonder what our evil doubles look like.
I've often wondered the same thing, only in place of the word dimension, the word muffin, and evil doubles, nut sacks.
Somewhere in another dimension, our heros doubles hold a conversaton.
Titties!
WOOOOOOOO!!
Wanna see my sperm juice hit that cat over there?
Ten bucks the cat explodes!

 

by shrewdom
2-11-04
Need a loan? Need a stiffy? Need bigger boobies? Need a bigger wee wee? Need money? Need underpants? Need a car? Need something? Need midgets dressed as cows wearing diapers spanking llamas?!
I'M THE INTERNET!! I RUN YOUR LIFE! ANYTHING YOU COULD EVER WANT OR THINK OF I CAN GIVE YOU!!!
....I....I could use some bunny slippers.
....don't have any. How about some porn? You like porn? I have porn that would make the midgey llama thing seem reasonable.

 

by shrewdom
2-11-04
Black cloud mascarade, puppy dogs in closing caves, bongo beats in my eggs, tomorow i may eat bacon bits off a dead mooses legs. under arm twilight massages.
...huh...well...
Death is like a dry sponge, in when you leave it in the sink, it soaks up last weeks cereal milk.
Damn, Staind is more uplifting than you are.
He looks like a fetus with it's whole head pierced.

 

by shrewdom
2-15-04
When I look at you, I'm reminded of the times we had together, the laughter, the tears..
...you using me as a runway for the late night strip teases for your girlfriend..who was in fact no more than a snowblower you stole from you neighbors tool shed on christmas morning....
Good times, good times.

 

by shrewdom
3-01-04
You know why I brought you to these woods, right?
Fuck, yo, I needs to get backs to my moms crib, wird. I need me a ride to da ICP concert tonite, dawg. Shyit, nigs, fuck....dawg
That's right! It's because little infectcious asshats like you are the booger on societys fingernail. Now, in the deepest, darkest regions of this forest there's a Kids Bop cd just waiting for you!
yaaaayyy!!!

 

by shrewdom
3-24-04
How's it goin?
YOU!!! YOUUUU!!!! You stand feeding that blanket while my bed dressings go hungry! See these legs? NO FEET! HOLY MOLY!!! NO FEETS!
um.. I'll have the grand slam.. with eggs over medium, and one hot cake.
.....you make me poop out roast beef sammiches with cheese. A pez on thee!

 

by shrewdom
5-24-04
Food court radio plays Nickelback on and on and on
Welcome to Taco McKingdy's, Our double Whopnugget value meal is on sale.
I don't want your nuggets of filth!! I want that freakish Jesus Cobain lookalike to stop singing!
I like your pants around your feet...I like blah blah blah *drones on*
Look, dude, we all do, but we all have to face the music, as it were, and accept that nickelback isn't going anywhere. Just like kids bop cds. Because they fuel eachother.
Do you think this song will make it on kids bop...what are we up to now...73?
I for one would love to hear young children singing this song.
You are a sick man, frylord.

 

by shrewdom
6-03-04
bradsucks.net
one step at a time don't be living on the line, i don't need a friend i got morbid on the mind, sunshine in my brain making everyone complain, radio in the heart don't be being so strange
The arm is suprised at the talent
::gasps::
i think i'm losing it baby where you been, everybody says that you're moving again, i don't wanna be right baby every single night
The arm begins dancing.
Dude, I would pay you $25 for a cd if I had a job.
i could tell you a thing about taking your time, it's making me nervous, yeah

 

by shrewdom
7-09-04
Did you ever think that God is time and patience?
pardon?
Well, I mean, if God heals all wounds, and time heals all wounds, what if they are one in the same?
What if God is a figment of his own imagination?
poof.

 

by shrewdom
7-14-04
I'm a manic depressive with suicidal tendencies, people try to help me, but they're all stupid. I wish people cared.
:cough:
I know it's time to hate this country when one wears ones own mental defects like a badge to display proudly.
Whatever. I'm going to go cry and yell at my mom for asking me what's wrong, and then I'm going to write in my blog how much she hates me.
...mmmyep.

 

by shrewdom
8-05-04
I finally got a date with that chick from the mail room!
Hunh... The one that takes the pills with lunch? How did that go?
Earlier that day.
So, I really like you and I think it'd be neat if we went out to dinner sometime
Matzos in my dorito lunch prod. Dinner is like supper but later in the day. Good. I'm there, while I'm here, drinking zoos.
I'm starting to think that we SHOULD discriminate against the criminally insane. Oh well, maybe I'll get some.
She's criminally insane, not a fucking moron.

 

by shrewdom
8-05-04
So, what do you think about the upcoming election?
I think that war is bad, but I also am pissed at bush for not doing anything about 9/11 sooner, but I'm really pissed about him invading countries, but I am upset because I don't feel protected.
Wow. Not only have you not showered for 3 weeks, you get all your political information from your bong! I'm glad you'll be too stoned to remember to vote.
...where the hell am I?

 

by shrewdom
10-18-04
Hi. Can I help you?
Do you have hot tea?
Yes, ma'am. Yes we do.
I'd like a cup of hot tea..and can you put that in a cup for me?
...no, ma'am, I'm afraid you'll have to put this tea bag in your mouth while I pour scalding hot water down your throat.

 

by shrewdom
10-27-04
Myeah, can I help you?
*sniff* Does anything have flour here? I'm allergic to flour.
...Um...Well, we happen to be a bakery, full of baked goods that have flour as a necessary ingredient. Because we're a fucking bakery, you see..
How about this fudge? Does it have chocolate in it? I'm allergic to chocolate. Also flour. Also egg and milk and sugar. I'm also allergic to oxygen. Is there oxygen in here?
...Sweet jesus. Hit it. Hit it with a hammer.
I'm now going to pay you in all pennies, and use the excuse that the only other form of change I have is a hundred, which you could easily break in less than the 15 hours it will take you now.

 

by shrewdom
1-14-05
This is a coupon. You use it like you would any other coupon. I don't give cash back, I don't give credit, and you have to use it RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!
No cash back?
No cash back.
But I want cash back.
Look, I'll give you cash back, if I can kill you with this fucking coupon right afterwards. Deal?
As long as I get cash back.

 

by shrewdom
3-24-05
Is there a reason for so much destruction and hate?
What does this conversation apply to?
Someone broke into my hut and stole my preserved fetus collection, and left a note saying to stay the hell out of their town.
Dear lord!
........
Now what will you eat?!

 

by shrewdom
3-24-05
You know, floating arm.. I just can't help but hate velvet revolver.
Hate a gimmick band?! I've never heard of such a thing
"I hate them. I hate their videos. Some strange man gyrates and molests himself while some poor washed up band from the early 90s plays in the background just to make a buck. It's sad, man. Just sad."
man, I don't even know anymore.
....and when you say "washed up band from the early 90s" do you mean STP or Guns 'n' Roses?

 

by shrewdom
3-27-05
The other day I went to the IHOP and notice what a limited selection of pancakes they have.
This is an outrage! What kind of times do we live in where the so called "House of Pancakes" sells more burgers and melts than they do pancakes!!!! PANCAAAAKKKESSS!
I'm sure they sell a lot of pancakes.
Probably.

 

by shrewdom
4-01-05
Floating arm, I think you may need to sit down for this one.
What could possibley be that bad?
Picture this: Someone who hasn't been popular since the mid 1980s is making music again, dancing on the grave of his once respectable career.
Woman! Woman!!!
That's right. Billy Idol is making music again.
Oh jesus...I don't like this new world. I don't like this new world at all.

 

by shrewdom
2-28-06
So what is the "normal" for kids these days? Is it all just "be as unorginal but still vaguely gothic as possible" or are you all just born with tribal tattoos and liprings?
muuurrrrrmychemicalromance chuck norris chuck norris, bush suxors, pants pants pants pants pants.
Fuck.

 

by shrewdom
4-26-06
Well, I've got good news and bad news
What's the bad news?
You're a choade!
The good news is you're dead, so it doesn't matter.
How bout that?

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