All comics by DragonXero

Profile

 

by DragonXero
3-30-05
I'm a clown!
And I'm a Cowboy!
Together, we are CLOWNBOY!
What?
I.. I thought that's what we agreed on for the name?
No.. god, what are you, fucking retarded?!

 

by DragonXero
4-01-05
Hey Fred, I got this new Ouija board, it lets you contact dead spirits in the afterlife!
Ha ha! That's great, ask it how we can get the rotor turbines to generate gravitons by themselves!
W-H-A-T-T-H-E-F-U-C-K-A-R-E-Y-O-U-T-A-L-K-I-N-G-A-B-O-U-T-?
See? I'm not the only one.

 

by DragonXero
4-04-05
Nice, nice.
How much longer?
Oh, just a few more seconds. Mmm, very nice.
What are you doing?
Ummm, this is oil. I need it to live. That's it.
You sicko. You're masturbating to my upskirt!

 

by DragonXero
4-04-05
Where the hell is he?
I don't know, but if he doesn't get here soon, I'm going to be pissed.
We start filming in ten minutes. If he's not out of his trailer by then, I'm firing his ass.
And to think, we'll have to deal with this crap every day.
God damn it, how the hell are we supposed to film "Patton" without our star?
GEORGE, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE, NOW!

 

by DragonXero
4-05-05
I have boobies!
That you do.
Ummm... I have a tongue ring.
I figured, what with the lack of enamel on your teeth.
Ummm, I am a nymphomaniac?
Psh. You'll have to do better than that to keep up with me.

 

by DragonXero
4-05-05
MOOOM! The Christmas tree is almost as short as I am!
What? I don't freaking care if we are out of money this christmas!
You better get me a fucking whore for Christmas or I'll tell CPS that you hit me!

 

by DragonXero
4-05-05
Ugh, I hate it when my neck goes out of place.
I hate it even more when it is snapped in half.

 

by DragonXero
4-05-05
Whew, thank God we're all going to die. No one will notice I shat in the aisle.

 

by DragonXero
4-05-05
Whee! It's fun being used once in a while, huh?
Mrrr.... yeah.
I mean, now people don't have to even have a joke in mind to come up with a comic, they can just randomize! No more asian girls!
Mrrrr... yeah.
So, what exactly happened to the asian girls anyway?
Mrrrr... raped.. mrrr... killed... mrrr... buried under coffee table..

 

by DragonXero
4-05-05
MUAHAHAHA! PREPARE TO DIE TOBOR!
RARR! TOBOR SCARED!
I SHALL HACK YOU INTO ITTY BITTY PIECES!
NO! DON'T HURT TOBOR, PLEASE!
Muahahahahaah! You are scrap, baby!
WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE. TOBOR GOING TO RAPE YOU NOW.

 

by DragonXero
4-05-05
First off, the clit doesn't lubricate itself. There's a little resivoir right below the clit. USE IT. Rubbing a dry clit hurts the ladies, guys.
Secondly, vaginal juices will not eat your face off. Don't be afraid to get a little messy down there. It IS fun!
Thirdly, the nipples are truly wonderous things. Even the most insensitive girl should be able to feel something. Sucking too hard HURTS. Morons.

 

by DragonXero
4-05-05
Anal sex is great for gay guys, but few girls truly get pleasure from it. See, girls have no prostate, and therefore, no sexual organ to feel pleasure from down there.
Shoving your head between a woman's legs and going at it like a wildman is rarely that great of an idea. Tease 'em a bit until they shove your head there. Fun for everyone!
If a girl doesn't want you to cum in her mouth, stop being fucking offended. Sure, it's messier, but JESUS. You ever taste your own? If not, don't bitch.
And on that note... if a girl is kind enough to blow your mind, so to speak, at least have the goddamn courtesy to kiss her afterwards.

 

by DragonXero
4-07-05
Laboratory of Dr. Weird, South Jersey Shore
GENTLEMEN! Behold! My latest invention!
Um.. what is it sir?
I'm not sure.

 

by DragonXero
4-08-05
An army of Soda guards my Ranch Dressing!
YE GODS! He's coming for us! FALL BACK TO THE CELERY, MEN!
It's no use! Not even the crisper drawer is safe!
God damn it! TO THE FREEZER MEN!
NO! We'll explode in there!
Damn it Private Sunkist! DO AS I SAY!
But General Coke! How will we get there?! This is an over-under fridge and we don't have climbing gear!

 

by DragonXero
4-08-05
Laboratory of Dr. Weird, South Jersey Shore
GENTLEMEN! BEHOLD! MY BEAUTIFUL FIANCE!
Uh, sir, that's a manraping robot.
BULLSHIT.

 

by DragonXero
4-08-05
The Laboratory of Dr. Weird, South Jersey Shore.
GENTLEMEN! Behold! THE NEW RABBOT!
Um, sir, that's...
Sir, I...
SHUT UP.

 

by DragonXero
4-11-05
Hrrrrr.
Squeak?
Hrrrrr!
This guy is nuts.
Hrrrr!!!!
THAT'S IT! I'M GONNA RIP YOUR FA- er, I mean, Squeak?

 

by DragonXero
4-18-05
So when we going to get together and do the do again?
I dunno. I'm busy this week.
Oh, how about next week then?
Oooh... um, I think I might be available on Monday, but I'm not sure.
...Y'know what? I give the fuck up.
...or maybe Friday if I can find a sitter.

 

by DragonXero
4-19-05
Billy, I'd like to talk to you about pubic lice!
Well, Golly Mr. Info! I already know everything about pubic lice!
Yes Billy, I figured you did. That's why I came to talk to you about them!
Oh? Why's that?
BECAUSE YOU GAVE THEM TO ME YOU LITTLE FUCKER.
YOINKS!

 

by DragonXero
4-19-05
Bobby, I'd like to talk to you about the Catholic Church.
But Mr. Info, I thought it was illegal to talk about religion in school!
Oh ho ho, Billy, I'm not talking about RELIGION. I'm talking about Father Doolan.
Oh, okay. Well that's different then. Tell me about Father Doolan!
That son of a bitch has been fondling you, and if he touches any of my bitches again he's going to lose a fucking arm. You tell him that.
Y-y-yes sir, Mr. Info sir!

 

by DragonXero
4-19-05
Hello Susie. I would like to talk to you about female hygiene.
Okay Mr. Info!
Sometimes, a woman's "hoo-ha" needs to be washed with special cleaning products just for girls!
Really? I didn't know that.
Of course you didn't, I could smell the fish from the hallway. CLEAN YOUR TWAT.
Yes sir, Mr. Info sir!

 

by DragonXero
4-19-05
Mi-Kwan, I'd like to talk to you about racism and slave labor!
Oooh, me rikey Mr. Info!
Haha, settle down Mi-Kwan. Now, sometimes, asians are used for forced labor because they have sturdy backs!
I have stlong back Mr. Info!
I know. That's why I'm putting you onto rock-moving duty Mi-Kwan!
But.. but.. I no rike rock moving!

 

by DragonXero
4-19-05
Penny, I'd like to talk to you about pornography.
Oooh, my daddy said pornography was BAD Mr. Info!
Well, for girls your age, pornography can ruin your mind and make you a sick, twisted pervert!
Oh my! What can I do to keep myself from being mutated?!
Well, you can lift your leg up and show me that prize pussy for starters!
Yes sir Mr. Info sir!

 

by DragonXero
4-19-05
Mr. Info, I'd like to talk to you about inappropriate conduct, child molestation and involunatry servitude.
Certainly Officer Dan! Let's learn with Officer Dan, kids!
You see Mr. Info, when you touch children under the age of 18, that is illegal. So is making sexual remarks to those children. As is forcing them to work.
Wow Officer Dan! I'm learning a lot today. I certainly didn't know all that stuff.
Ignorance of the law doesn't protect you from it Mr. Info.
Uh oh! Tune in next week to find out all about the criminal justice system, kids!

 

by DragonXero
4-19-05
Inmate 119342, I'd like to talk to you about AIDS!
's that right?
AIDS is a horrible disease that is completely incurable and transferred easily through anal intercourse!
Yeah. Knew that.
I have AIDS.
Me too. Bend over so I can "input" some more info. I'd like to talk to you about anal bleeding.

 

by DragonXero
4-19-05
Mr. Info, I'd like to talk to you about Prison Society!
Um.. sure Prisoner 449241! *gulp*
If someone steals from, murders, or beats an adult, that's his business. When someone rapes kids, it becomes ours.
*gulp* Uh, that's.. great.. information Prisoner 44924!
Another handy bit of information: You can make a shiv from almost anything.
Well kids, don't bother tuning in next week... I have a feeling I'm going to be replaced by Barney.

 

by DragonXero
4-21-05
Hi James, it's Savanah...
How are y-
GAH!
The hell is your problem?
KILL IT! KILL IT! IT'S ALREADY BRED ONCE!

 

So, three nuns walk into a bar...
Yeah, and? Hurry up! The comic is almost... oh hell. Too late.
by DragonXero, 4-21-05

 

by DragonXero
4-21-05
You suck.
No, you suck.
I guess I do.
I got fi' dolla.

 

by DragonXero
4-22-05
I AM BEING PERSECUTED! I was suspended for wearing this makeup, which is part of my wiccan belief!
Um, what exactly does wearing stupid clown makeup have to do with being wiccan?
We dress in certain colors to get in touch with our element!
Yeah. So, what the fuck does wearing clown makeup have to do with being wiccan?
You just don't understand me!
If you'd enunciate,you could fix that.

 

C'mon, duck l'orange! Think of it! The best way you could possibly go out.
Can I just think about this?...
by DragonXero, 4-26-05

 

by DragonXero
5-19-05
You ever feel down? Rejected and hurt by a girl? Constantly mising someone but never being able to have her?
No, not really. The ladies love my squirrel dick. Check this, yo.
YO BABY! WANNA COME STORE MY NUTS IN YOUR CHEEKS FOR THE WINTER?
I've got a better idea, how about I just kick you in the fucking head, and you die slowly?
... Chicks ain't nothin' but bitches and ho's.
I dunno, I'm starting to think there are some good ones out there.

 

by DragonXero
5-19-05
Wow, you wanna go out for some coffee or something?
No thanks, I need to go wash my hair or something. Later loser!
God, every fucking time. I swear, I wish I knew what the hell they really wanted.
Excuse me co-
GET THE FUCK AWAY, I DON'T LIKE YOU, YOU ARE A STUPID BITCH.
... Good god... FUCK ME NOW. PUT IT IN ME!

 

by DragonXero
5-19-05
Wrong bar again.
Shit.

 

by DragonXero
5-19-05
Bartender, I'd like to order a drink for the lady at the end of the bar there.
Sure thing sir.
Ma'am, the gentleman at the other end of the bar would like you to have this drink on him.
Can I get a refund?

 

So, when do you get off?
Right after you leave.
by DragonXero, 5-19-05

 

by DragonXero
5-19-05
Welcome to Starbucks! How may I help you?
Uh, yeah, I'd like a small coffee with cream and sugar.
I'm sorry, we don't have small here.
Hold on, I think I may have something in my ear. What did you just say?
We only have Tall, Venti and Grande.
Ohhh, I see. In that case, I'll go find a coffee place that DOES have small.

 

by DragonXero
5-19-05
Wow, this is a kinda cool place. What did you say it was called?
The Naked Lounge. It's where all the goths and punks come in and hang out all day while they read.
Couldn't they do that at Barnes & Noble/Starbucks?
Yeah, but that would be giving in to the man. Go ahead and order, I'm gonna go catch up with a friend or two.
Hi, I'd like to order a small coffee, black.
Coffee?

 

by DragonXero
5-19-05
Hi there, ho-
MOVE.
*grumble*
I.. I...
I must have him.

 

by DragonXero
5-19-05
So how are you doing to-
Go away. I'm not in the mood.
Fucking men.

 

Licky licky fi' dolla!
by DragonXero, 5-21-05

 

by DragonXero
5-21-05
Welcome to Metal 101 kids. Today's lesson is on modern metal. Yes, Timmy?
Mr. B, are we going to talk about Slipknot?
Ha ha ha ha, oh Timmy. No, we're not.
That was a stupid question, huh?
Ha ha ha, Timmy, there are no stupid questions. Except yours.

 

by DragonXero
5-21-05
Wrong bar again?
No, actually, this is just a Star Wars convention.

 

by DragonXero
5-21-05
Man, Janet Jackson's naked breast on the Superbowl was horrible!
What do you mean?
I mean, GOD, right during the superbowl! At the very least, they could have told people beforehand.
Oh God, you're not one of those purity bible-thumping jerkasses are you?
Dude, it was JANET JACKSON.
Point taken.

 

by DragonXero
5-23-05
*smiting*
Oooh, hey, look, Jerrry Falwell and Jack Chick hanging out together!
*smiting*

 

by DragonXero
5-23-05
Go forth and create many sects!
DAMMIT! I SAID SECTS, SECTS!!!

 

You rebel scum.
by DragonXero, 5-23-05

 

You rebel scum.
by DragonXero, 5-23-05

 

by DragonXero
5-24-05
What the hell do you mean I'm not going to be in Episode III?
I'm sorry Kenny, but we're doing R2-D2 in CGI this time around.
What? That's bullshit! You can't replace me with a damn computer!
Hrm... Something ironic about that. But nonetheless, you are not playing R2 this time.
This is crap. I'm calling up the union.
You rebel scum.

 

by DragonXero
5-24-05
Yo, did you hear what that Darth Vader dude did?
Yeah, they say he wiped out all the Gunguns or something.
Harsh huh? Jeez, only four years after getting into office, too.
I wonder what the Emperor thinks of all this?
I don't know, but he's thinking of wiping out all those teddy bears on the forrest moon of Endor.
Dude, there's only one moon, stop calling it the "FORREST MOON" of Endor.

Showing page 20.

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