All comics by boorite

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by boorite
8-18-06
Google's deal with Red China probably won't make any difference.
Oh, yeah? Type in "Asian teens."
Here's one. "Ping. Age: 18. Turn-ons: Studying hard to repay the motherland. Turn-offs: Individualism."
And look. Someone photoshopped a red kerchief over her snatch.
This is an outrage against free speech!
Fucking yellow menace!

 

by boorite
8-18-06
Hard-working, austere, good at math... who will stop the Chinese from conquering the world as they have Google?
Wait, it says here that the new "me" generation of Chinese makes loads of money and blows it all on flashy American crap.
Looks like a victory for freedom.
Google "Chinese schoolgirl ass gape."
Done.

 

by boorite
8-18-06
The advent of capitalism and the internet in Red China will one day afford my generation opportunities Chairman Mao only dreamed of.
Like the opportunity to splay our bazzers all over your computer screen.
Chairman Mao dreamed of bazzers.

 

Arrrr, I couldn't help noticin' yer door was ajarrrr.
by boorite, 9-19-06

 

by boorite
9-20-06
What's taking you so long in here?
ATTEMPTING TO DIVINE THE PURPOSE OF THIS MECHANISM!
"WIPE ON SEX APPEAL! INCREASE YOUR PULLING POWER!!"
Would you mind using your inside voice so the whole gas station won't think we're gaying each other?
"75 CENTS! INSERT, THRUST, PULL!!"

 

by boorite
9-20-06
WHERE IS THE GULP? THE BIG ONE! I WILL GULP THE BIG ONE!!
Sorry. He's from Nebraska.

 

by boorite
9-20-06
OK, first off, never yell "I GULP THE BIG ONE" at the help.
DOES THIS PHRASE CONNOTE ASS RODEO?
"Ass rodeo?" Where the hell did you pick that up?
FROM THE FRIENDLY COWBOY IN THE GAS STATION REST ROOM!
HE COVERED HIS SKIN WITH THE SKIN OF ANIMALS! SOMETIMES!!

 

by boorite
9-20-06
Where to now?
I SET A COURSE FOR THE GALAXY'S LARGEST BALL OF LEPTONS! THERE IS AN EXCELLENT GIFT SHOP!!
IT IS ONLY 27,000 LIGHT YEARS DISTANT!
WOULD YOU LIKE A SLIM JIM?

 

by boorite
9-20-06
So I mosey into the terlet, and I swear to Jesus, there's a guy in a fuckin' Gumby suit!
Jumpin' Jehovah on the air guitar! What'd you do?
Whaddya think? I been dreamin' of this moment all my life!
Oh, right...
WHAT ARE THE RULES OF THIS "ASS RODEO?"
If I stay on for 7 seconds, I win!

 

by boorite
9-21-06
What's the development platform around here?
ASP.
Very dangerous.
You go first.

 

by boorite
9-21-06
Make me an offer, Amazon.
Rousseau Saw Stand: $337. Buy this product and add any of the following...
Rousseau Saw Stand: $337.
Isn't that a tautology?
Click for larger picture, which is really the same size.

 

by boorite
10-02-06
Rep. Foley, how do you feel getting caught sending lewd messages to 16 year old boys?
Excuse me a moment.
I need help with my alcoholism.

 

by boorite
10-04-06
You see, my client himself was molested as a teenager.
So you're saying what? He felt that being molested was such a great experience, he had to pass it on?
Now I'm not sure what I was saying.
That's OK. Take your time. We'll be covering nothing but this for the next year.

 

by boorite
10-04-06
I have for some time been working with my family to overcome a personal identification situation.
Does "personal identification situation" mean "craving for teen cock?"
I am a religious person and have been for some months praying to God to help my family and me through this tragic and troubling episode in my life.
The "troubling" part being that you hate your own sexual orientation, and the "episode" being all your life?
Are you getting horny?
LOL

 

by boorite
10-05-06
"Mr. Foley's odd behavior toward young male pages may have been overlooked, fearing a backlash from the radical gay rights movement because of his sexual orientation."
"The integrity of the conservative majority has given way to political correctness, trading the virtues of decency and respect for that of tolerance and diversity."
That's the problem! Conservatives have GOT to stop pandering to the queers!

 

by boorite
10-06-06
Hey, how's it going?
Uh, fine, I guess.
How was Spring Break in Cancun, dude?
I wouldn't know.
Hang on, some douche thinks I'm talking to him.
Ha ha, what an idiot.

 

by boorite
10-09-06
LET'S LOAD THE PRINTER TRAY WITH DELICIOUS FRITO'S CORN CHIPS!!
YES OK!!
THAT WAS THE ROCK AND ROLL!!
SEX.

 

by boorite
10-10-06
GARGLE IT ON THE WAY TO WHIRLED DOMINATRIX!!
FOOL! THE TUBE IS YOU!!
ONE POINT SIX BAZILLION BALLERS!
SOLD!!

 

by boorite
10-12-06
*STOMP STOMP STOMP*
What th--
DAMN KIDS!!
I wish this costume had a bottom half.

 

by boorite
10-12-06
I should sign up for some business courses.

 

by boorite
10-12-06
Hee, hee--with my new time machine, I'll be able to go back and fuck...I mean, MEET various historical figures! Oh boy, oh boy, oh--
What happens if I pull THIS switch, Daddy?
The Mexicans will come and take Daddy's job.
*click*
SUCK MY DICK, BITCH!

 

by boorite
10-13-06
...and then He rose from the grave!
Then what was the point of "giving His life" if He was just gonna get right back up again?
Oh, but he stayed dead for three days!
Ugh... this was before refrigeration?
Easter Sunday, 2006 years ago...
Y HALO THAR!
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

 

by boorite
10-31-06

 

by boorite
11-01-06
What a retard. How do you fuck up on something that easy?
I was drunk!
The how come you SAID you were sober?
...
I was drunk!

 

by boorite
11-16-06
Bet you wouldn't say that to someone's face.
OH YEAH?
...
YOU'RE A HOMO!

 

by boorite
1-24-07
This is a robbery. Hand over your laptop.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
It will be difficult indeed for you to type-- AFTER I HAVE CUT OFF YOUR DELICIOUS FINGERS AND EATEN THEM!
Perhaps I shall try committing crimes in a different location.
Mmmmm, penguin fingers.

 

by boorite
2-05-07
Hello, class. I'm here to give the talk on sexual harrassment in the workplace.
Ahem... "Watch your goddamn mouth, and keep your filthy meathooks to yourself."

 

by boorite
3-12-07
Here's where I found him.
What a mess!
And he looked so healthy, too.
For a corpse.
I mean before that.

 

tharr can only be 1!!1!one LOL
rofl :-(
by boorite, 3-13-07

 

by boorite
7-25-07
Fry me some chicken you ballsy old cunt.
Pardon me... I'm on my way to the Kentucky Derby.
Like fuck you are. Now drop a bird in that fryer before I shove your twat in it.
My word! May I bread it first?
The bird or your twat?
Never mind. I'll fry them both.

 

by boorite
7-25-07
OK honey, one, two, three... OPEN!
Surprise!
What's the name of this show again?
"This Crack House."

 

by boorite
7-25-07
Have you seen my new soldering iron?
Um, who the fuck are you?
A simple yes or no would suffice.

 

by boorite
7-25-07
Mr. Fagman?
It's about fucking time.
Oh, I'm not calling you for the doctor.
Fagman! Hahaha!

 

by boorite
7-25-07
Wow! So only a kid like me with the high score in Space Plinker can save the Galactic Council from the Grunk Empire?
That is correct. You are the Chosen One.
What a shit movie!

 

by boorite
7-25-07
We can hole up in here while the zombies tear each other to pieces.
And have tons of gay sex.
Us, I mean.
Not the zombies.

 

by boorite
7-26-07
Now the bran muffins are all mine, and I can launch my nefarious plan...
TO SHIT A RING AROUND THE MOON! MWAHAHAHAHAAA!
Ehh, not sho fasht, Doc.
CURSE YOU, RABBIT!

 

by boorite
7-26-07
Let's see... programming homework or porn surfing?
C'mon past self... do the right thing!
C'mon, c'mon, we don't wanna end up like this, do we?
Meh, programming homework.
FUCK!

 

by boorite
7-26-07
Our next slide depicts a groundbreaking installation of Marcel Duchamp, which he made from lumber and old mannequin parts.
In one fell stroke, it denounces bourgeois aesthetics, the mechanized barbarism of WWI, and humanity's imprisonment by the Ego.
HONK HONK

 

SPPPPPLLLLFFFFF
yeng yeng yeng
by boorite, 7-26-07

 

by boorite
7-26-07
If there's a Miss Florsheim here, good news! Your syphilis is in remission, and the fetus's brain damage is minimal!
So we can schedule that hemorrhoid surgery before you go into alcohol detox!
Is there a Miss Florsheim here? Miss Alma Florsheim? Hey, isn't that the mayor's last name?

 

by boorite
7-26-07
SIR YOU FORGOT TO SIGN FOR THE PACKAGE
Sign it yourself.
SIR YOU FORGOT TO SIGN FOR THE PACKAGE
Stop following me!
SIR YOU FORGOT TO SIGN FOR THE PACKAGE
AAAAAAAAGGHH!!

 

Hey kids, assrape!!
Drugs!
by boorite, 7-27-07

 

by boorite
7-27-07
I'll hang around you, so if I see you jump off the ship, I'll know it's sinking.
No, you're thinking of rats.
Oh.

 

by boorite
7-27-07
The smell of death was strong in this place.
I had seen morgues that were noisier than this.
It turned out someone had put my suspect on ice.

 

by boorite
7-27-07
Hi, Tommy! I'm Horny the Copyright Hornet! I saw you download the latest Slutney Hoarz video without paying!
But... I didn't rip it! It was posted on MuleTube!
Doesn't matter! If you clicked it, you're no better than a bank robber! I'm afraid I have to sting you in the balls!
Noooo!
Yes! 17 thousand times! One for each copy! Because Horny the Hornet has compound eyes!

 

by boorite
7-30-07
Hi, I'm the new CEO. How does your department load 5" hose?
Any special tips on how to keep the air out?
Um, this is Accounts Receivable.
I know, but over by the printer, I saw a load of hose on a pumper, but not connected to a pump outlet.
That was Yvonne.

 

by boorite
7-30-07
Boing boing term paper.
Ha ha ha.
Boing re-take Finals bing boing hippity hop.
Ha ha ha.
And that's when he threw his pants at me and jumped out the window.

 

I am distressed at having received another parking ticket.
Awww, you muthafuckas done jacked me up AGAIN!
by boorite, 8-03-07

 

by boorite
8-03-07
Hola! Soy El Rape-O!
Yah fer sure, howdy howdy howdy!
Hola! Soy El Rape-O!

 

by boorite
8-09-07
Ever get the feeling you're being watched?
No.
Listen, these owls are freaking me out.
They're my parents!

Showing page 20.

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