All comics by brycekain

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by brycekain
2-28-16
No, you can't do me.
Why not?
Because I don't believe in ghosts.
And I don't believe in your orgasms.

 

by brycekain
2-28-16
This is Bob. He works for tech support at a major company.
Hey, ya'll!
He feeds his family every night by faking an American accent just to please you.
I can do that for you very quickly, my friend!
Just don't make him say "Poodle."
Or "waterboarding."

 

by brycekain
2-28-16
I have come across many galaxies to meet you humans. I shake your hand in friendship.
Uh, no.
Why not?
I don't know where that thing has been.
I was just punching the thrusters while steering my rocket...?
Is that what they call a black hole on your planet?

 

by brycekain
2-28-16

 

Nope. Not doing the joke.
But I'm stuck!
by brycekain, 2-28-16

 

by brycekain
2-28-16
Sir, is this your dead cat?
It's my lady friend's, but I can explain.
30 minutes later...
...and so when she said to eat her pussy, I thought she meant something else.
And all the dead guys outside?
A hooker has to work, ya know!

 

by brycekain
2-28-16
It's a book called "Reality for Dummies."
Sweet! Maybe it can get us back to the real world!
I dunnow, every page just tells me to go fuck myself.

 

by brycekain
2-28-16
Alas! Our beloved Captain Kirk is dead!
Nope, he just turned into a Borg with tornado powers.
What the hell?
Now he's a spider shark.
I knew they shouldn't have sold the rights to the SyFy network.

 

by brycekain
2-28-16
All of this is cum.
Sorry I farted.

 

by brycekain
2-28-16
...so I'm here at the internet cafe trying to find an online date.
Groovy.
Why are you here?
Gay bathroom sex.
Oh, right. Bryce said he's waiting for you in stall #3.
"Glory, glory, hallelujah...."

 

by brycekain
3-01-16
He refuses to come out.
Why?
I don't know. Something about contests and being a loser.
*sigh*
Care to leave a message?
Yeah, tell the Id that Reality stopped by and he needs to suck it the fuck up.

 

by brycekain
3-01-16
At last we meet, my friend. You, the underwater park bench, are my greatest nemesis and I shall vanquish you!
PlanetWTF???
Oh no, you little bitch. I plan on making wooden dildos out of you.

 

by brycekain
3-05-16
Two jews walk into a bar.
iiiiieeee!!!
Ok, who the hell dipped pig tampons in my Bloody Mary??

 

by brycekain
3-05-16
Dude, you're an alcoholic. Why are you in a bar?
It's cool, man. I got a medical marijuana card.
Oh, man. I dunnow... isn't that just trading in one crutch for another?
Hypothetical scenario: Black guy gets drunk and beats the crap out of white dude for being a condescending asshole. Hypothetical Scenario #2: Black guy gets high and laughs and laughs......
...are you going to hurt me?
Only if you're not gay.

 

by brycekain
3-05-16
So there I was, coming up with an interesting concept called The Fail Chronicles.
It would show works in progress that I wanted to make funny, but ultimately I could not. It's so crappy (and I'm so stoned) that it's brilliant!
So what happened?
Internet connection failed. Lost the whole thing. My first fail comic was a double failure. I can't think of any better way to introduce TFC.

 

by brycekain
3-05-16
Ok, I know that when somebody introduces a new element, the premise seems to drag on in the very beginning.
But see, take for example this layout. It's funny to me. But this is a fail because I can only think of the following thing...
Ghost farts!

 

by brycekain
3-05-16
I am Bacon, the Herd Master General of the Great and Powerful Watercooler! State your purpose!
I'm an arm, but look, man. I'm stuck here. I think something is under my elbow if you could just give me...
Silence! Your plight makes me chuckle! And you have pleased the All Knowing, Ever Horny Watercooler! You may continue to pay homage to our beloved bubbler.
...um
This isn't Super Glue, is it?

 

I can see my house from here!
All I see is the same thing I see every night when I'm about to cum.
by brycekain, 3-05-16

 

by brycekain
3-05-16
I'll take a Chicken Teriyaki Fetus Melt with extra cheese. Hold the onions.
Yes, ma'am. One moment, please.
HEY, CLEETUS!! YOU WANT THEM STEM CELLS THEY BEEN ADVERTISIN' ON THE TELLER TUBE??
YOU BET YER SWEET ASS, I DO!
Ok, and we'll also take some Hush Puppies to go.
That'll be three crack rocks and a dildo made of food stamps.

 

by brycekain
3-07-16
...and why should I give a fuck?

 

by brycekain
3-09-16
Why do you always refer to yourself as a pencil in your comics?
Because the closest resemblance on Strip Creator to my real self looks kinda gay.
Oh, come on. Let me see.
HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA...!!!!!

 

by brycekain
3-09-16
GIT DOWN THAR N BEN DOVER!
*RAWK!*
GIT DOWN THAR N BEN DOVER, BESSIE!
*RAWK!*
What's going on here?
Just playing Duck, Duck, Loose.

 

by brycekain
3-09-16
I must confess, I've always wanted to use your character. But I could never think of anything funny.
Because you're not funny?
Way to ruin a fucking comic, asshole.

 

by brycekain
3-09-16
STOP! I have the answers to all your problems! Just put down the hammer! I'm a doctor...
IS THIS MOTHERFUCKER SO STONED THAT HE THINKS I LOOK LIKE A DOCTOR??
HURRY THE FUCK UP, THIS SHIT HURTS!

 

by brycekain
3-13-16
What the hell is this?
Bryce, this is an intervention. Everyone in this room loves you and would like to share their feelings.
When you first came to Strip Creator you were quirky. Upbeat. Almost awkward, but still just had a great sense of humor.
Now you're just a dick.
You need to stop being so autistic with your comics. Wait, are you autistic or artistic?
A LITTLE OF BOTH!

 

by brycekain
3-15-16
Are you gay?
Sure, I'll suck your dick if it'll piss you off, asshole.
Ew, angry bottom.
Fuckin' homophobe.

 

by brycekain
3-18-16
Um, I'm not sure if I can join. I just turned 18 today.
Sure ya can. Coaches scout for girls at high schools all the time to try out for the LFL.
And what does the LFL stand for again...?
Lingerie Football League
You can LEGALLY scout high schools for this shit??
As long as Tosh doesn't do another segment about us.

 

by brycekain
3-19-16
Come quickly, we need your help!
Fuck it.
Captain Fuck it? Channel Nine News. What will you do about the 3000 foot lesbo vagina currently rampaging through the city?
Fuck it.
Do you even have a punchline for this joke?
Double fuck you with a side of fuck it.

 

by brycekain
3-19-16
Captain Fuckit, a superstorm is rampaging through downtown Los Angeles! Earthquakes and raging fires are everywhere! Only your superpowers can save us all!
Fuck it.
NEXT!
But how can you SAY THAT?? There are innocent people out there dying in the streets as we speak! You could save them all!!
Fuck it.
I SAID NEXT!!!
So when a problem comes along, you just...
Whip it.

 

by brycekain
3-19-16
NEXT!
My sheep won't stay in the barn, what should I do?
Fuck it.
NEXT!
Now that I'm dead, what should my wife do with my remains?
Fuck it.
NEXT!
My girlfriend is boring in bed. What should I do to bring the thrill back into our relationship?
First, softly kiss her delicate parts. Whisper sweet words of love in her ear. Then gently roll her over. When the time is right, "accidentally slip" and fuck it.

 

by brycekain
3-21-16
You goin' out tonight, El Capitan?
Fuck it.
See, this is what I don't get. You don't drink, but your home base is a divebar in the middle of Vegas. What the hell?
Fuck it.
Oooooh, I get it. It's so you can get all the hot chicks drunk and then...?
I'm gay.

 

by brycekain
3-21-16
NEXT!
You never clean up after yourself, you snore like a train at night, and you never put the toilet seat up! Either change or we're through!
Fuck it.
NEXT!
If you don't believe in me, I will send you to a burning lake of fire where you will suffer eternal damnation for the rest of eternity.
Fuck it.
NEXT!
What do you call this bar anyway?
Roadhouse.

 

by brycekain
3-23-16
I don't like how your people do things. So instead of just snapping my fingers and changing everything myself, I blew it all up! What do you think of THAT?
Are you stuck on that cross?
Um, well, kind of...
Shit.

 

by brycekain
3-23-16
Jesus! You have to help! There's millions of eggs that need to be delivered near houses by tomorrow morning!
No, my son, I will not help you. For you see, you're not real. You were an idea stolen by my followers who were trying to convert people. You are nothing more than a symbol for boinking.
Wanna say that again?
Go ahead. I'm not real either.

 

by brycekain
3-29-16
So I heard you're autistic.
Officially, no. But it's a possibility. I'm still looking into it.
So, what...? More retard jokes now?
Depends on how "official" the diagnosis is.
You know they don't test you rectally for this, right?
YES... of course I know... now...

 

by brycekain
4-05-16
No worries, sir. I fished the cat out of your trunk. He did take a huge dump in the back, but you should be able to finish your trip now.
Was it a fresh shit?
Are you asking if you can fuck the cat?
Might as well. Not like I'm going to win this fucking contest.

 

by brycekain
4-09-16
My PTSD meds ran out and I have to wait until Monday to get them. So can you close doors quietly or whatever? Everything in my head seems loud right now.
What does it sound like?
Wish I could relate.

 

by brycekain
4-10-16
I want to make a comic, but I'm too depressed to bother.
Don't worry about it, sir. Your comics suck anyway.
I hate that I'm too sad to unfriend you.
Don't turn Brokeback Mountain on me, Jack.

 

by brycekain
4-12-16
I finished filling out the paperwork and have provided proof that I am certified in obstetrics and gynecology.
Great, now I warn you. We have to be sure that you have the stomach for providing all our clinic's services, including abortive procedures.
Go home and watch this DVD. Return to me tomorrow and tell me your thoughts.
The next day...
I just have one question: Why did they call it A Serbian Film?
You're hired.

 

by brycekain
4-14-16
Sorry, guys. Been really busy with things so haven't had a lot of time to post.
NO ONE GIVES A FUCK.
Don't make me unfriend you, Dad.

 

by brycekain
4-22-16

 

WTF???????
I farted.
by brycekain, 5-02-16

 

by brycekain
5-02-16
Still no donor status for PlanetWTF?
Nope.
So nobody is going to read this, right?
Actually, yes.
WTF?
Shut up and stop being a cunt.

 

by brycekain
5-02-16
So I heard there's a difference between you guys and some other guys.
?
Like some of you eat pork, but others drag around dead goats for sports...?
??
Or is that just Obama?
And they wonder why we hate them.

 

by brycekain
5-02-16
You have dishonored my family! You must now commit harikari!
I will and shall obey! Harikari coming up in 3... 2...
Well go on, ya pussy.
But it's soooo harrrrrd.....

 

by brycekain
5-07-16
Oh insomnia you suck balls.
Let me count the ways...
zzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

Aids
by brycekain, 6-09-16

 

Clown fucker.
by brycekain, 6-12-16

 

Today?
Fuck you, cunt!
by brycekain, 6-18-16

 

WTF?
*sigh*
by brycekain, 6-30-16

Showing page 24.

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