All comics by brycekain

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by brycekain
10-13-16
I can't believe we have a baby!
This isn't a baby. I just took a shit, wrapped it in a towel, and am now testing it for herpes.
I can't believe we have a butt baby!

 

by brycekain
10-14-16
Do it! DO IT DO IT DO IT!
HOLY FUCK, I CAN SEE JESUS!!!

 

by brycekain
10-14-16
Why are you jamming that bottle into a blanket?
Jeffrey, your mother had an abortion last night, but it didn't take.
Ok! Food's in the fridge, feed your new brother twice a day, and don't wait up. Your mom and I have a hot date at the swingers club!

 

by brycekain
10-14-16
What are you doing?
Tryin' to grab dat pussy, but damn critter's squeamish!
I'm out.

 

by brycekain
10-14-16
Jesus of Nazareth, I see that you're trying to die for your sins. Would you like help with that?
No, Clippy! Go away!
Captain Smith, I see that you're trying to stear away from that iceberg. Would you like help with that?
What...? OH FUCK!!! YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL!!!
Donald Trump, I see that you're about to grope another unwilling human being of the female persuasion. Would you like help with that?
Dammit, Billy. How do you turn that fucking thing off??

 

by brycekain
10-16-16
5 dolla', please.
I love the fresh smell of Asian ass in the morning.

 

by brycekain
10-16-16
Why so glum, Jesus? It's your birthday!
Actually I was born sometime during the summer months, but my followers moved it to December so they could boink some Pagans.
You're a fucking buzz kill, ya know that?
Says the asshole who keeps drinking out of my wine toilet.

 

by brycekain
10-16-16
Says here you need to scrub with cleanser until fully moisturized.
Fuck! How often does he clean this thing??
'Bout once per flood.
So Earth is just God's giant bidet?
He uses GOP prayers for toilet paper.

 

by brycekain
10-16-16
See Dog on Ball playing in frigid snow.
See Narrator not give a fuck.
MOVING ON!
Did my asshole just fall off?

 

by brycekain
10-16-16
Yup, it's stuck way in there. I don't even think a crowbar can get it out.
*sigh* This is what I get for pissing off my girlfriend.
Even in the apocalypse women treat me like shit.
...and just how DID she manage to shove an entire stop sign up your dick hole anyway?

 

by brycekain
10-16-16
The housefly, or Musca domestica, is a fly of the suborder Cyclorrhapha. Their average life span can range from 14 to 90 days.
FUUUUUUCK!!!!!
Incredible! We just witnessed one of the fly's natural enemies: an asshole who bought a Google Car.

 

by brycekain
10-16-16
Hey, Sailboat? Whatcha doin?
Jerking off while the captain fucks a hooker inside of me.
How... in the fuck...?
ROADHOUSE!

 

by brycekain
10-16-16
Bryce has made 1312 comics.
Spooky. Wanna know what's even spookier?
A black man dressed as a Grand Dragon for Halloween?
um........
I was going to say this will be comic number 1313.... what the fuck is wrong with you?

 

by brycekain
10-16-16
How the hell did you get stuck to a doorknob?
MMFFF...DIS THIZ NEW TUM FUR KESTUNS! GIB BE DA THUPAGU THOLVENT!
Oh I dunnow... you laughed at my pig outfit...
THEW BUDDAVUKKER!
What's that? You want me to tea bag you with my taint?
GAAAAAAH!!!!!

 

by brycekain
10-18-16
Oh shirtless bearded man. Come hither and hear my tale!
I have a shirt on. The fuck?
SILENCE! FOR THE BEAST OF A THOUSAND PUNS SHALL SPEAK IN ONLY TONGUES THAT PIMPLE POPPERS MAY UNDERSTAND!
I gotta lay off the weed.
Seri
ously.

 

by brycekain
10-18-16
So I can't endorse the GOP this year.
What made you turn the other cheek? Was it the Mexican rapist thing? Or the cheating on taxes thing?
Nope.
This has something to do with Clinton, doesn't it?
Do you know how many years I listened to those assfucks complain about Bill? And now they ENDORSE THIS BULLSHIT??
Truly gay, are they all.

 

by brycekain
10-19-16
You ever have those weird thoughts run through your head? Like I was just thinking how horrible it would be if a bird pooped on me today. But something in me giggled anyway. Isn't that crazy?
Yeah, like this one time I thought of redoing The Human Centipede. Only in my version, the characters would be allergic to different things.
I would sew the mouth of the peanut allergy guy to the lady with a wheat allergy. Then I'd sew her mouth to the hermaphrodite with a milk allergy.
Then I would feed them a peanut butter bagel milkshake with whipped cream on top from one of their deceased grandmother's teat.....
....but instead I got a job as the new Sprint spokesman. Phsh!

 

by brycekain
10-19-16
Planet WTF: to some, a secluded region far outside the fringes of space and time. To others, simply a place that they can call home.
So what lies in the depths of this celestial body of mystery?
Mostly buttstuff.
BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY!
BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY! BOINGY!

 

by brycekain
10-19-16
This is a green screen challenge.
Make me look gayer.
I said GAYER, not RICHARD GERE!

 

by brycekain
10-28-16
Quietly............ 3...2...1...
OW! What was that for??
This is the knife I killed Hitler with in Florida.
Didn't he shoot himself in Europe?
Nope. By the way, you've got Aids.

 

by brycekain
10-28-16
Ready?
3...2...1...
HAPPY
BIRTHDAY!
Is he supposed to be convulsing like that?
Poor bastard has startle epilepsy. Guess he won't be needing that European vacation he had planned.

 

by brycekain
10-28-16
3... 2... 1...
DING!
Damn British pot pies.

 

by brycekain
10-28-16
Mike? Did you lock that puppeteer in the freezer?
Yeah, why?
Oh... no reason... it's just... his mangled penis is hanging out...
That sometimes happens when they die....
...and playing with puppets.

 

by brycekain
10-28-16
Alas! I have found thee, Office Santa!
Who are you and why are you stalking me?
Jeff...? From Accounting...?
Doesn't ring a bell.
My wife bakes cookies for our pot lucks?
YOU'RE MARRIED TO JANET THE JERK OFF QUEEN??

 

by brycekain
10-28-16
What's it like being the village lush?
It's not so bad. Except when I pass out in gay clubs.

 

by brycekain
10-30-16
CLEAR!
Fuck.
Hey, you knew I had a midget fetish.

 

by brycekain
10-30-16
Welcome to Arby's, would you like to try our new venison burger?
Rudolph?
No, sir. This is Arby's. They glow like that on their own.

 

AH AH AH AH
STAYIN ALIIIIIVE...
by brycekain, 10-30-16

 

by brycekain
10-30-16
That new boss better not hire no darkies! I won't stand for it!
Why are you always so angry, Gary?
Oh, I don't know... maybe... cause I have... a small penis...?
Let it out, dude.
*sob* AND MY BLACK DADDY FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY LAST YEAR!!!
That explains everything except the latent homosexuality.

 

ON DANCER! ON PRANCER! ON... OH GIVES A FUCK WHO YOU ARE! UNNNNGH!!!
by brycekain, 10-30-16

 

by brycekain
10-30-16

 

by brycekain
10-30-16
Take me out with a baaall gag...
...sod-o-mee with a trowel...
...burn me some albums...
...by Niiiickleback...
My wife is a Cubs fan.
...I don't smoke crack...
...cause crack is so wack...

 

by brycekain
10-30-16
Metallica just released a new album.
Please don't suck... please don't suck... please don't suck...
The Cubs are going to the world series!
Please don't suck... please don't suck... please don't suck...
But every time...
FUUUUUUUU
CCCCCKKK!!

 

by brycekain
11-02-16
Let's see............... 5... 4... 3... yup. That's all of 'em. IT'S THE FINAL MOOO COW!
It was then that Farmer Dan learned that he was bleeding from the dick.
ew

 

by brycekain
11-02-16
Careful. You'll poke someone's eye out.
It was then that the soldier discovered he was bleeding from the dick... and Officer O'Malley had schizophrenia...
ew

 

by brycekain
11-02-16
The south will rise again!
Is that what you call your penis?
um... that's a little... personal...
Dear god, man. Why would you name your penis "The South"?
...it's an innie...
The only way the south will rise again is with Viagra.

 

by brycekain
11-02-16
And in other news... blah blah blah... Trump was shocking... blah blah blah... Kardashians and/or Kanye West...
Blah blah blah... economic shit you don't understand... blah blah blah... twisted puns only serial killers would find funny... blah blah blah... weather then sports...
'MERICA!
zzzzzzzzzzzz..........

 

by brycekain
11-03-16
*sigh*
Well, at least it wasn't OUR religion this time.
You gotta stop eating Taco Bell before take off.

 

by brycekain
11-03-16
Duuude...
In hindsight, going for the balls might have been a bad idea.
This is fucking SHOT PUT!

 

Made ya look!
by brycekain, 11-03-16

 

by brycekain
11-03-16
We apologize for the previous comic.
You like doing this, don't you?
Immensely.

 

by brycekain
11-04-16
WHITE POWER!! WHITE POWER!!
BUTT RAPE!! BUTT RAPE!!
This game is pretty fucked up.
I know, right? American History X just isn't the same in 64 bit.

 

by brycekain
11-04-16
Do you like games that let you build a financial empire? Then try Industry Tycoon: H.G. Wells Edition. Travel through time and acquire wealth and fortune during famous moments in history!
Sell rocks to local cavemen! Own the weapon shop that forges King Henry's axes! Hell, you can even fund a private industry interment camp for the Japanese!
Speaking of which, reach level 1,939 and play a bonus round where you get to run the gas company in Germany.

 

by brycekain
11-05-16
Water Sports Editionâ„¢

 

by brycekain
11-15-16
This game sucks.
Why does it suck?
I mean the VR aspect is cool and all, but I'm a homeless dude getting run over by ambulances!
That's normal. Now head over to the VD clinic.
The hell you say.

 

by brycekain
11-15-16
Did we just get Donald Trump in Strip Creator?
I think we just did.
Where is this at?
Injokester2 / Potus
Why am I horny right now?
You can now fuck your conjoined twin.

 

by brycekain
11-15-16
Sir, now that you're president, what is your vision for America?
Well, I really want to encourage a kind of fantasy, a kind of magic. I love the term magic realism, whoever invented it.
Reality and fantasy, we need both of those to survive. If we don't have fantasy, dreams and all of those things, what's the point of carrying on?
Sir, you're just quoting Terry Gilliam! What are you going to say if there's another 9/11??
'Tis but a flesh wound!

 

by brycekain
11-17-16
Hey, guys! Ranger77 went away, but now he's back.
Ranger69 went today, but now he's back.
La Grange went gay, but now he's black.
ZZ Top fucked me while I was asleep and now I have blow back.
Isn't this how zika started?

 

by brycekain
11-19-16
I'm tellin' ya, Jimbo. This wall better be frickin' YUGE!
What if they try to climb over the wall?
We revamp the Star Wars program. Fry the little beaners where they stand.
Uh, sir? About the Star Wars program...
Call JJ Abrams. That matzah eater can polish any turd.

 

by brycekain
11-19-16
Honestly, Donald. I don't know why you insist on following me everywhere I go.
Sugar bear, you know it's for your own good.
But that's what we have the secret service for.
Now, my little honey blossom, you know that Trump security is the best security in the world. If anyone's gunna shield you with their body, it'll be the Don!
I'm trying to swallow some dick in here!
Wait, I thought you just signed a bill making that illegal, Mike?

Showing page 27.

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