All comics by 80_Million_Fleas

Profile

 

After seeing the e-mail that had came from god69@gmail.com...
Holy Goatfuck! The world IS going to end!!! Jack van PriestGuy was right!
Good evening. The world is gonna end. God sez. You don't think God's liar, do you?
Send us money or gold nuggets.
Good thing I sent my gold nuggets in! They can save me!
In other news: Jack and Lady van PriestGuy was busted for having 40 tons of cocaine and for running a sex dungeon full of Japanese children.

 

So our hero finds his sister...
Hey um... sis? Can I fuck your sweet ass?
Ewww! No! Never!
But the world is gonna end! Please? PRETTY PLEASE?!!
Alright fine! Geez. Let's just do some cosplay. That always gets my nerdie rocks off.
Then they move onto the bed room...
RAAR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!! ... am I doing this right?
Mmmm... Right enough for me, big red.

 

His plan to rape his mom was set. He developed a plan oh so cunning...
Hey Mom.
Hey nearly naked son.
Look over there.
Over where?
*click*
*Rape Rape Rape*
OWW! MY DIGNITY!

 

After the father, he started raping random black people.
You see that quarter glued to the ground? Could you pick it up for me?
I see no harm in it.
Then, for some unknown reason, He cloned myself.
Fuck?
Fuck.
While he was doing that, some one, some where was fretting.
I CAN'T THINK OF A PUNCHLINE OR ANYTHING FUNNY FOR THIS DAMN COMIC!
Bzzzort. Cuntzz.

 

In the science lab in the Joketana mountains...
Yess... Soon, my creation will be completed!
One man's quest to create the perfect lover goes too far...
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
This summer, America will experience the terror that is...

 

TOBOR.
RARR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!!
You bastard! You cornhole'd my grandmother!
You should have seen what he did to your son AND your siamese cat!
RARR!! BEND OVER MISTER PRESIDENT!!!
Can your trap, tin can! You seen what happen to Iraq, didn'tja?!

 

Say, how do you know dcom-- AHH! IT'S TOBOR!!!!
RARR! I'M IN THE MOOD FOR CHINESE!!
I did not have sexual relations with that robot.
Mr. President! Isn't it true that this joke has been dead since 1999?
Tobor: O-Ring Expanded. In theaters this... TOBOR! GET AWAY FROM ME!!
RARR!!!!

 

What's that you got in the mail?
Says here that ASWAN has nominated me to receive their highest award.
Wow, what an honor!
It also says I need to be at their downtown headquarters in 30 minutes to accept it. Could you give me a ride?
o/` Look at me, I'm MC HAMMA! Hammer time!! o/`
Gah!! You've ruin the comic! Now 80MF will never win!

 

What's that you got in the mail?
Says here that ASWAN has nominated me to receive their highest award.
Wow, what an honor!
It also says I need to be at their downtown headquarters in 30 minutes to accept it. Could you give me a ride?
No.
Fuck. Good thing I live in San Andreas! I'll just "borrow" a car.

 

What's that you got in the mail?
Says here that ASWAN has nominated me to receive their highest award.
Wow, what an honor!
It also says I need to be at their downtown headquarters in 30 minutes to accept it. Could you give me a ride?
Alright. Say, what does ASWAN stand for anyway?
Americans that Suck Wang, Ass and Nuts ... Quit looking at me like I'm a freak or something! I've been working hard for this award for years!

 

What's that you got in the mail?
Says here that ASWAN has nominated me to receive their highest award.
Wow, what an honor!
It also says I need to be at their downtown headquarters in 30 minutes to accept it. Could you give me a ride?
I don't think Egon will let us the Ecto-1.
Damn it! It is always you and those damn Ghostbusters! Have you ever thought about MY needs?!

 

High School English Class
Oh yeah? I know for a fact Shakespeare is a BITCH.
Contemporary, Minority Relations
Ha! YOU obviously never have been to Harlem!
...

 

Welcome to McStripCreator. How may further humiliate myself... I mean serve you?
I think I'll just have the JESUSSANDWICH sandwich, a Phryed PhreakyChinillia and the Kaufman cola.
The what?! That asshole! My lawyer is gonna HEAR about this.
Oi! YOUR likeness being used for a sandvich? I'll sue the pants OFF the schmucks!

 
I'm itchy.

 

Cylons! I knew this day would come!
What's wrong with you? Why do you keep on follow us?
You dropped your wallet.

 

Cylons! I knew this day would come!
What's wrong with you tincans?! Why do you keep on following me?
You're at a convention, you half-witt!

 

Cylons! I knew this day would come!
What's wrong with you? Why do you keep on killing us off?!
I CAN'T TAKE GODDAMN EMO CRAP ON THE RADIO!!!

 

Cylons! I knew this day would come!
What's wrong with you? Why do you keep on following us?!
Hey wait... You're Tobor! MY TOBOR! Where have you been, sweet love?
Tobor has search the endless stars for Timmy. Now that Tobor has found Tobor's love, Tobor wish to spread Timmy's cheeks twain and thrust deeply.

 

Say, did you catch the episode of Megas XLR last night?! It was a hoot!!
I didn't. At all. We're in purgatory. You're dead.
Oh... Is there any TV in purgatory?
All we can get down here is UPN. Sorry.

 

See look right there! They're humping the damn ground! With gusto, I might add.
Right there in Castlevania. Who woulda thunk it?
*eye scan, eye scan*
Blood thristy Cylons. Who woulda thunk it?

 

In other news, Jerry Farwell is in the hospital! Probably dying!
Booya! Score one for the Atheist!
In other news, Jerry Farwell is in the hospital! Probably dying!
Noooooo! My brother!!!

 

You don't know where we're going, do you?
Of course I know where we're going. I have nine eyes. I see everything.
Have you ever noticed how your mouth is perpetually opened even you don't talk?!
...
... or how we're both black and white contrasted against a green background?
Shut up! My glasses are at Lens-Crafters.

 

Man, working at his robot factory is a pain in the ass. I wish something would happen.
You know. Like... one of the robots would go array or something!
RRRAARR!!

 

Alright God, True or Dare?!
Oh! Um... Dare!
I dare you to... create a planet full of retarded ape spawn bent on destroying themselves and everything they hold dear!
...and that's the way the world came to be.

 

Myself Damnit! I'm tired of these Shitcoms!!
...I'm a gay! I have a lisp! [Can'd laugh track.]
You are the shittiest writer ever, Gabe. I want a new show on my TV by tomorrow morning or your ass is grass
Don't worry! I have a perfect idea for a reality TV show. You're gonna love it!
...and that's the way the world came to be.

 

Uggghhh....
Aunt Bea? From the Andy Griffit Show?
Uggh... I need... I need.... a Globe from a 4th Grade.... class room...
Oh.. I'll go get one right now!
...and that's the way the world came to Bea.
Cornball.

 
Put my cat down. There's no such thing as a pussy inspector.

 

So, let me get this straight. You used this time machine to pull me from my castle.. So you could spank me and then force me to give you a rimjob.
Yes.
...and that if you don't spank me and then force me to give you a rimjob, the space-time continium will colapse and all that will be left is Knight Rider reruns?
Correct as usual, King Friday.
Well, you can't argue with that logic!

 

Don't stare at the midget, Don't stare at the midget, Don't stare at the midget.
Excuse me. Do you have the time?
OH MY GOD, YOU'RE SO FUCKING SHORT!!! YOU'RE THE SHORTEST MAN I'VE EVER SEEN!!! I HAVE AN ERECTION NOW.

 

So I tell the guy, "I may be phone, but that doesn't mean you can push my buttons."
Then he asks, "Why not?"I answer, "Because I'm rotary dial!"

 

I dunno. I don't think this is what I had in mind when you was talking about Big Business.
Pfft! What are you talking about? This is great! Our CEO is the Jolly Green Giant.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 5-04-05

 

Brwahaha! Welcome to hell, Susie!
Hell? Why I am In hell?! I'm a hippie for God's Sake.
Because God hates whales.

 

Yee haw! The South will rise again!
My fashion is three years old and I live in poverty.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 5-04-05

 

Egad! You erased most of my teeth and some of my hair!
Sorry, I was actually going for your loud mouth.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 5-04-05

 

Oh shit... It's Piere.
Bonjour, Madame! Dis you chassh Jerry Louis on TV? Funny guy!
No. I didn't. Now could you go... be French somewhere else? I have a crime to solve with extreme CGI close-ups and mediocre acting.
Why bother? Let'z blame zee furrez a-gan!

 

Wow. You got a nice place here.
Yeah, I know.
...
...
You're holding up that wall, aren't you?
With every iota of muscle I can muster.

 

So a clown and a pirate walk into this bar...
by 80_Million_Fleas, 5-04-05

 

...and that's why I froze myself.
Wooah. I didn't say I wanted a Bradsikle! I wanted a Brad Suckle. Now, get on your knees.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 5-04-05

 

I'm sorry, Ms. Shannon Dority. I can't rebuild your carreer out of two-by-fours.
by 80_Million_Fleas, 5-04-05

 

ENIS ENIS, I HAVE A BIG PENIS.
I don't believe you.
You wanna prove it with a penis sword fight?
Sounds too painful for me.
Not really. We stiffen our penises and use them as fensing swords. Perry! Thrust!
I think this game would be played a lot better of you was bent over and facing away from me.

 

Psst.. I baked that cake with the chainsaw inside it. Just the way you ordered...
by 80_Million_Fleas, 5-04-05

 

You know what I can't get enough of, Roger?
What?
Sex with dead babies.
Holy hell.. How did you ever make it up here?

 

...So I tells the guy, "Mixing Chruch Berries and Peanut Butter Crunch does not mean you're having Peanut Butter and Jelly."
by 80_Million_Fleas, 5-04-05

 

Welcome to Taco Del Casa. I'm Senor Juan Twothreefour. What can I get you?
Is the food hear aw-thin-tick? Hispanically speaking.
What kind of retard are you?
The Prez-uh-dent.
Oh. I'll get you kid's meal.
Hello Kitty? Hells ya! It matches my panties!

 

Is there a need to have the bottle inside of the bag when you're at the bar?
by 80_Million_Fleas, 5-04-05

 

Here's your paper, M---Holy hell! You're my customer?!
You bet your balls, boy.
Eh. Another day, another dollar. Here's your paper.
Why don't you come inside? I have puppies.

 

Come, sir, just one after dinner mint. It's wafer thin!
I couldn't possibly eat another bite ... but OK. *munch* *munch* *munch*
Later...
The tests are conclusive, Bin Laden! Explosive Mints work!
Uhggoooood. Send one to every member of Congress, to all employed persons at the White House and one to Tony Danza.

 

Hey there! What do you need miss?
Zeus?! Woow! Well, um... I'm with the Door-to-Door Christian Foundation. Have you found Jesus in your life?
...
Have you?
Bolt'd!

 

Look, we've been walking this corridor for hours! I don't think we're going to run into Richard Dean Anderson.
Of course he's here! My box-dar has been picking him up for hours. He should be right down this hall.
Box-Dar?
I made it out of small dead rottens, a carrot, some thread and a game boy. Just like my hero.

 

Abu G. Prison meets John the Out of Touch Stand-Up Comic
Wa-ow. What a tough room. What will it take to make you soliders smile? Naked Human Jenga?!
by 80_Million_Fleas, 5-06-05

Showing page 3.

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