All comics by Bargaintuan

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by Bargaintuan
2-20-03
I heard the steak here is pretty good! I'll have the serloin, well done.
OK, sir. It'll be ready in a few minutes.
A few minutes later...
Are you sure this steak is well done?
That's what the chef said. What's wrong with it?
My Angus is bleeding.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-20-03
Damn! That's f@^ked up!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-22-03
Woo hoo! I ROCK!
I've got a cool sword, and I can fly SUPER fast!
I am so awesome, I can do anything I want!
Dammit. I've been banned... but I've got a COOL GOATIE and a PITCHFORK NOW! WOO HOO!!! LOOK AT MY SUIT! I'M SMOKIN'!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-22-03
You are getting very sleepy...
You will use the asian girls in all your comics...
Yes. You will use them constantly. Clicking the drop-down boxes will cause you GREAT PAIN!
Me love you long time.
Sorry. Force of habit.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-22-03
Ooh! Some guy's trolling in the forums again... BANNED!
Calling me names, eh? BANNED! Haha!
Posting about cheese in the "Everything but Cheese" forum? BANNED! YES!!!
Banning people all the friggin' time? BANNED!
S#*t!

 

by Bargaintuan
2-22-03
Hey, dude.
Wallace, I can't be your friend anymore.
Why not?
Well, I wanted to do something really unique with my life, to stand out in the crowd. I thought of getting some piercings, but everybody's getting those nowadays.
So what?
So I joined the KKK.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-22-03
Why did you join the KKK? You're the least racist person I know!
DON'T TRY TO ARGUE WITH ME, MISTER BLACK MAN! YOU'RE BLACK A-AND STUPID! AND YOU LIKE TO EAT TREE BARK!
Sorry. I'm still working on the racism bit.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-22-03
Long time no see. Are you still in the KKK?
Nah. I had to give it up.
Did you know you have to buy your own robe and hood and stuff? The whole thing's one big marketing scam.
I wouldn't know about that.
I've become a neo-Nazi now. The armbands are cheaper.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-22-03
We bring you an exclusive interview with Professor Pumpkin-Eater, famed astronomer and noted magazine reader...
My, you have big ears.
Professor, tell us about your amazing discovery.
Yes! My observations prove beyond a doubt that our solar system was bombarded by meteors!
Fascinating! Is there any danger to Earth?
Not to Earth, but Neptune is bruised and Uranus is bleeding!
I should have seen that coming.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-22-03
Nocturnal by nature, owls prey on small animals after dusk.
THAT'S "PREY ON", NOT "PRAY FOR", YOU IDIOT!
No wonder I'm so hungry...

 

by Bargaintuan
2-24-03
Sir, you were jaywalking just now. I'm gonna have to give you a ticket.
This can't be right.
Sir?
MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE, GOD, MAKE IT STOP!!!
YOO ARR GOWING TOO HAF TOO PEY AY FIEN!
That's better.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-26-03
Bargaintuan has run out of ideas for comics.
Yes. It's really sad.
This comic isn't even going to have a joke in it.
So instead, here's a clown.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-26-03
Bargaintuan hat keine mehr Ideen für komische Streifen.
Ja. Er ist wirklich traurig.
Dieser komische Streifen nicht sogar hat einen Witz in ihm.
Stattdessen ist hier ein clown.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-26-03
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by Bargaintuan
2-26-03
Gee, the Japanese looked right in the preview...

 

by Bargaintuan
2-27-03
Well, the terror threat level has been lowered back down to Elevated.
Yep, I guess we can all breate a little easier.
Hey, guys.
Hey, Al-Milowaqu. How's it going?

 

by Bargaintuan
2-27-03
I'm a man.
I'm a man, too.

 

by Bargaintuan
2-27-03
What a gay costume! Who are you supposed to be? Ballet Man? "Homo Powers, activate!" HAHAHAHA--
ERK!
You were saying?

 

by Bargaintuan
3-01-03
How's the heck are we supposed to destroy these missiles?
Maybe if I...
WRONG!!!

 

by Bargaintuan
3-01-03
Mr. President, we've just received a report that Iraq has started destroying its Al-Samoud missiles.
Good!
But, Sir? We were counting on them to refuse to help drum up support in the U.N.!
Yeah, but it's about time somebody destroyed something!

 

by Bargaintuan
3-02-03
Optimism.
The glass is half full.
Pessimism.
The glass is half empty.
Paranoia.
WHO'S BEEN DRINKING MY SODA?!?

 

by Bargaintuan
3-03-03
Hi. I am a weapon of mass destruction, but I've been misplaced. Please put me with your other weapons of mass destruction.
You're not fooling anyone.
Damn.

 

by Bargaintuan
3-03-03
Hey, I'm hungry. How about going out and getting me a burger?
I'm not your servant. Get it yourself.
I mean, I really don't know where you come off ordering me around. I have better things to do than to go get your freakin' burger! WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL?!?
I have a vagina.
Just a burger, or do you want the combo meal?

 

by Bargaintuan
3-04-03
Hey, check out that chick! She's wearing next to nothing, and she's almost attractive enough to pull it off!
Dude, that's a man!
Uh, yeah. But if he were a chick, he'd be hot!

 

by Bargaintuan
3-04-03
Hark, Mother! Thou lookest upon me with a troubled brow. What be the source of thy consternation?
I just got your report card...
You're failing Ebonics!

 

by Bargaintuan
3-05-03
I was writing this comic on StripCreator.com, and it was like "beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep..."
.... and then, like, half my comic was gone.
And I was, like, "huh?"
It devoured my comic.
And it was a good comic, too.
Not crappy like this one.

 

by Bargaintuan
3-06-03
So I said "Those rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
Sucky sucky, five dolla. Me love you long time.
No, I don't think that's gonna generate gravitons, either.

 

by Bargaintuan
3-06-03
Hey, Mr. Buttons!
I'm hungry. You look like a good snack.
Tee hee! You can't get to me in here!
That's not entirely true. I have a straw.
!

 

by Bargaintuan
3-06-03
Oh, yes! Yes! YES!!!
What ya got, baby?
Yes! It's coming! It's coming!
GIVE IT TO ME!
BUY NEW SCRABBLE®: GLOW-IN-THE-DARK EDITION TODAY!
CONUNDRUM! Triple word score, plus I used all my letters!!!
That's 92 points! Hell if I can beat you now!

 

by Bargaintuan
3-07-03
See, we have no weapons of mass destruction here.
What's that God-awful smell?!?
Sorry, I farted.
UGH! SOMEBODY OPEN A WINDOW! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU HAVE FOR LUNCH?!?
I said I was sorry.
If that isn't a material breach, I don't know what is!

 

by Bargaintuan
3-08-03
Hi. My name's Power-Man, and I'd like to be a member of the Justice League.
Let's see... I've been a superhero for a couple of months now, ever since that strange meteor landed in my back yard.
Superpowers? Well, I can disintegrate people by thought alone. That's about it.
No. Not inanimate objects or anything. Just people.
Well, I know the Justice League doesn't go around disintegrating people, but that's my special power. It's not like the meteor gave me a choice!
Jerk.

 

by Bargaintuan
3-09-03
Pointless, isn't it?

 

by Bargaintuan
3-11-03
Gotta keep my balance! The rescue plane will be here any minute..
Yo! I noticed your ship breaking up. Say, that's a neat trick!
You couldn't, like, help me to walk on water or something until I get rescued? I can't swim, you see.
I would, but that ball thing is just too damn cool!

 

by Bargaintuan
3-11-03
Jesus #2, you're a carpenter, right? So, you know about woods? OK, then. What kind of wood was the cross made of?

 

by Bargaintuan
3-11-03
y0 d0gz! im the l33t3st b4dd3st m0f0 j00v3 3v3r s33n!
i g0tz m3 a d00l p4 w1d 2 gb of r4m 4nd a gf0rc3 fx. n0w wh4t d0 j00 h4v 2 s4y 2 th4t, b1tch?
<Grover42> Hello? Are you talking to your computer again? You know, you actually have to type something for us to communicate...

 

by Bargaintuan
3-13-03
What people are saying about Bargaintuan's comics: "....wicked funny stuff..." -- smilekt14 "....doesn't suck..." -- not_Scyess "Brilliant." -- Chaly
And now, our feature presentation: A brand new, original comic from the mind of Bargaintuan!
Sucky Sucky, five dolla!
Me love you long time!

 

by Bargaintuan
3-14-03
___________________________________ ___________JUST SAY NO!___________ ___________________________________
___________________________________ ___________JUST SAY NO!___________ ___________________________________
___________________________________ ___________JUST SAY NO!___________ ___________________________________

 

by Bargaintuan
3-15-03
Hey kids! It's your old pal, Pablo!
You're just a stupid finger puppet.
Am not!
Are, too!
I am not a finger puppet!
MOMMY!!!

 

by Bargaintuan
3-15-03
I AM A BANANA!

 

by Bargaintuan
3-16-03
Think anyone will notice?
Nah.

 

by Bargaintuan
3-16-03
With our clown disguises, nobody will figure out that we're not really twins.
Besides, even if they did find out, what's the worst they could do to us?
Minutes later...
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

 

by Bargaintuan
3-17-03
Are you watching the last episode of Farscape this Friday?
Farscape? What's that?
It's a show on the Sci-Fi Channel. In fact, it's the only show worth watching on the Sci-Fi Channel, and they pulled the rug out from under it, those corporate mother fu--
Wait a minute... The Sci-Fi Channel? Don't you mean the "John Edward Channel"?

 

by Bargaintuan
3-17-03
Hello, Abu-AinotifaAxu, my brother!
Have you not heard? Our country of Iraq will soon be attacked by the Americans!
Allah, help us! Do you know when the attack is to come?

 

by Bargaintuan
4-02-03
I am so lost!
Hi. I'm the Blair Witch
Woah! You're not very scary. Aren't you supposed to chase me around in the dark make a bunch of noises till I go insane or something?
Well, I tried that for a while, but now I'm into this beating-people-to-death-with-my-broom phase.
Ready?

 

by Bargaintuan
4-02-03
F@^k!

 

by Bargaintuan
4-04-03

 

by Bargaintuan
4-06-03
Oh, no! Everquest is down! Whatever shall I do?!?
Hey, what's this StripCreator thing?
Thus, another sad comic strip is born...
hey i found something to eat under this rock
im a dworf LOLOLOL!

 

by Bargaintuan
4-06-03
Mindy meldy, five dolla!
My mind to your mind, long time!
Note to Self: Don't write comics when you don't have anything resembling a humorous idea.
Affirmative.

 

by Bargaintuan
4-07-03
Theorizing that one could travel within his own subconcious, Dr. Ken Kaufman stepped into the Quantum Leap Accelerator... and vanished!
He awoke to find himself trapped in a small room, facing mirror images that were not his own, and driven by an unknown force to hurt himself.
His only guide on this journey is Wirthling, an observer from his own mind, who appears in the form of a floating, disembodied head that only Ken can see and hear.
Where's Scott Bakula when you need him?
Are you kidding? He doesn't need this crap. He's on the Star Trek Gravy Train to the Stars®!

 

by Bargaintuan
4-08-03
Please don't rape me with those penises coming out of your mouth!
Penises? No, these are feelers. I don't rape people, either.
Then what do you do?
I just consume human souls, rend flesh; you know, the usual bit.
That's a relief! I thought this was one of those hentai movies for a second...

Showing page 3.

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