All comics by Hari_Nezumi

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has won the election!
by Hari_Nezumi, 1-02-06

 

by Hari_Nezumi
1-02-06
Lolz!!!!! This stripcreator thing is great! I've made 32 comics day!!! OK, in this next one, the blonde in her underwear will f*ck some guy's c*ck!!! Lolz!!! Then she'll burst into flames!!!
Hmm...should the guy hammer a nail into his forehead after she dies???
Nah.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
1-02-06
Hello doctor. I was wondering if they make special packaged breast milk. My breats are a little sore from Jimmy nursing all the time.
Well bring the lad in and let me run some tests to see if he has any allergies.
Jimmy! Come here!

 

by Hari_Nezumi
1-03-06
Pikachu! Team Rocket has stolen the pricelss gem that controls all the Legendaries in the world! They'll destroy the entire planet!
Pikachu!
You know what? I'm fuckin' tired of your attitude! You've always gotta make it all about YOU, don'tcha? Well fine then, jackass!
Pika?

 

by Hari_Nezumi
1-08-06
I'm sorry Father, but I can't join the Catholic faith.
Well can I ask why, my son?
Because I don't want God to be a burden instead of a blessing.
Well then I hope you enjoy your eternity burning in the everlasting fires of Hell.
Hey Father, take out a Bible and turn to the Book of Hari, Chapter: Shove it up your, Verse: Ass.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
1-18-06
OK, freak, what stupid pick-up line will you try on me today?
I was beat up in school, my parents never loved me, and my dog was shot by my own father in front of my very eyes.
I honestly don't know how to respond to that.
So you'll blow me?

 

by Hari_Nezumi
1-21-06
To both Jack's surprise and disappointment, the first meeting of the "Anti-Homosexual Club of San Fransico" was a complete flop.
Is this where The Knitting Bregade is meeting tonight?

 

by Hari_Nezumi
1-27-06
Be you angels?
Nay!
We are butt men!
We are butt men!

 

by Hari_Nezumi
1-28-06
Hello there, human. What are these "hamburgers" things you hairless apes keep talking about?
Um...they're the ground up and processed meat of slaughtered cows.
You're shittin' me, right?

 

by Hari_Nezumi
1-28-06
Oh man...I can't believe I got Angela and Candy to play strip poker with me. This is gonna rock out loud.
OK, let's get this over with, perv.
I'll shuffle.
Really, does God just hate me?
Wow, look at that! ANOTHER Full House!
I think I actually grew another pair of pants.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
2-03-06
Sir, are you a terrorist?
Um...no...
Then why the FUCK don't you have one of these Grade A Cheese Graters? Don't know when you don't have one of these, Osama Bin Laden eats another handful of babies?
Oh God! I'm sorry! I'll take ten! Just please...save the babies!
Bada-bing.

 

Sorry, but I don't date guys who are on pot.
by Hari_Nezumi, 2-13-06

 

by Hari_Nezumi
2-28-06
Tip #328: Always be honest
Women love it when you're honest, so never hide anything from them.
...so yeah, I've pretty much got a fetish for cars. Do you like cars?
I just masturbated to the thought of you blowing me in the bathroom.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
3-18-06
Ah...ah...AH--
False alarm.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
4-08-06
Not now, Hari, I'm sleeping.
Come on! I swear, this is the best joke you'll ever hear!
Fine. Make it quick.
OKOKOK...why did Hitler's troops fail when they invaded Russia? Because they kept Stalin! LOL

 

by Hari_Nezumi
4-17-06
OK, I'm conducting an expieriment. When I say a word, I want you to say the first thing that comes to mind.
OK shoot.
Hamburgers.
Pedophilia.
Next?

 

by Hari_Nezumi
4-17-06
Are you a virgin, Mr. Pink?
Of course not.
CONSCIOUS women.
Damn.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
5-15-06
PULL!
*BAM*
Sir, are you sure this is how you go "fly fishing"?
Shut up and reload.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
5-26-06
Captain Turns-Into-A-Chair! Pirate cyrborgs are gonna blow up the moon!
Don't worry! I'm on it!
SHAZAM!!!!!
*BOOM!*

 

by Hari_Nezumi
6-26-06
Assanine: I'll give her face a two, and her assanine.
Ha ha ha! Oh man, these Redneck vocabulary words are great! OK, my turn.
Butt rape: I'd like to butt rape that little girl over there.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-16-06
Is it crunchy? It's it juicy?
Nope and nope.
Then what is it?
It's a Vlasic pickle! It's both crunchy AND juicy!
God, you're such a fucking cunt sometimes.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-16-06
Yeah, but I reallu like that band.
You just misspelled "really".
What?
You just misspelled "really". You put a "u" instead of "y". How fucking could you? You're dead to me.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
11-05-07
Um, yes, tech support? There's something wrong with my computer. It won't start.
Well sir, this may seem like a silly question but I'm required to ask this; is the computer plugged in?
Nope. That must be the problem. I feel so silly. Thanks.
Heh, no problem sir.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
11-05-07
Yeah, I'll just have a coke to drink.
Sir, is Pepsi OK?
What? No. No! Why the FUCK would Pepsi be OK? How small is your brain, really, to have received "I would like a Pepsi" from "I'll have a coke?"
Oh geez he's crying.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-30-08
Oh my god, that's DISGUSTING.
Those drapes are awful!
Well maybe next time YOU can do the shopping.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-30-08
Yes?
Hello, Kevin.
Oh my god...Death! No, please! Not yet!
It's too late Kevin. It's time.
But...I'm only on the second disc!
Dammit Kevin, you've had my Gray's Anatomy DVD's for like, two weeks, man!

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-30-08
Are you expecting me to shake your hand or...what?
Pickle Juice.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
9-30-08
Hey man.
What's going on, dude?
Not much. You check out Spore yet?
Nah man, I ain't got the money for that. It any good?
Eh. It's OK.
Methane.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
3-02-09
Maybe I'll check Facebook again...
No! I have a report to write! No more time wasting on this infernal machine! I will not let my mind wander any more! I am in control of my own destiny!
Oh! Bill's commented on my status!

 

by Hari_Nezumi
3-02-09
...and he really wanted me to buy him this car, but I told him the cost was just too big and we couldn't fit it in.
That's what SHE said!
...but the whole situation got a little sticky in the end, so we just decided to call it a night.
That's what SHE said!
...so I began to scream for him to stop as blood sprayed everywhere, but he just kept going with this crazed look on his face.
That's what SHE...uh...

 

by Hari_Nezumi
3-10-09
..and thats when the officer pulled up and tackled my ass!
So what did YOU do to get in here?
Pretty much the same thing as you if you meant "robbing a 711" in a "sacrificial murder" kind of way.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
3-10-09
I'm afraid to say that you've got cancer of the body. It's terminal.
:(
How long do I have?

 

by Hari_Nezumi
3-23-09
Ma'am, I terribly sorry about your parents. You have my sympathies.
Thank you officer. I still cannot...fathom who would be able to do this...
Well, maybe you can help us find that out. I know it's hard, but can you make out what's carved into their chests?
That handwriting...it looks so familiar...I think it says "Will...you..."
Yes!!

 

by Hari_Nezumi
3-24-09
...so then we decided to try slathering it in maple syrup and wouldn't you know it, it worked like a charm!

 

by Hari_Nezumi
4-12-09
You know, we eat here all the time, but have you ever wondered why there aren't any chairs?
Well, shit.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
4-24-09
Up on the hill to the east, there lives a great and powerful wolf god known to my people as "Lug'hoon". He has watched over our village for many a generation with kindness and benevolence.
Ah, so you want me to bring him an offering to appease him? Or perhaps ask for his thousand year old advice?
I want you to kill him and bring me back his pelt so I may use it as a tea cosy.
What? Didn't you just say this Lugnut character has been a kind and benevolent god to your people for thousands of years?
Since when do you faggots actually read what I'm saying to you? I'm offering a new bow for this, man. Just blindly accept the quest and quit your bitching.
How good a bow?

 

by Hari_Nezumi
4-24-09
Welcome aboard the Ministry of Defence mister, er, Zorg. Turn up at the security desk monday and we'll get you your uniform.
Any questions?
Gleek org makka ung.
So I tell him, "Look pal, if you're gonna be coming into a country and stealing jobs away from hard-working citizens, then at least learn the fucking language!"
Damn right! Fucking aliens...

 

Edward was a dear friend and a loving father, and he will be --
Muffdongler!
by Hari_Nezumi, 4-24-09

 

And if we take a look at the yearly revenue, we can see a clear--
Spanklespunk!
by Hari_Nezumi, 4-24-09

 

Are you guys ready to ROCK?
Fartzilla!
by Hari_Nezumi, 4-24-09

 

by Hari_Nezumi
4-30-09
Yeah, I'm pretty happy with the shuttlecock I'm using. Some people say it's too large, but the way I use it, it's just right.
A lot of people are clumsy with a large shuttlecock, but they just don't know how to use it. I've practiced with this shuttlecock for years so I know what I'm doing.
I had no idea you played badminton.
What the hell is badminton?

 

by Hari_Nezumi
5-07-09
Ann, I'm starting to get sick of this job.
Me too.
I came here thinking praising God would have its positives but I was completely wrong
...Well, there is one positive.
Ann, for the last time, celibacy does not let you get discounts on porn.
Well dammit, why not. The pictures of Adam in the childrens' bibles can only get a girl so far.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
5-08-09
Yo mamma's so fat that her belly button gets home fifteen minutes before she does!
Yo mamma's so stupid she missed the forty four bus so she took the twenty two bus twice!
Yo mamma's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, her reflection ducks!
Yo mamma witnessed me preform an unspeakable crime, so I murdered her in cold blood to keep my dark secret safe!
...what?
She has two zip codes!

 

by Hari_Nezumi
5-11-09
I can't wait to tell the jerks from high school about my CEO position and show them my hot wife.
I'll go get us some punch, honey.
Josh McJockenstien! Remember when you used to beat me up daily? Well, I just wanted to let you--
Hey, jackass, give me a minute, would you? I've got to tell Tom Cruise to stop begging me to be in my next movie.
...what? Well, well, I see no wedding ring on your finger! I guess you're not--
Of course I'm not married, dipshit. Then I wouldn't be able to bang chicks left and right, like I just did with that skank in the red dress under the punch table.

 

by Hari_Nezumi
5-11-09
Happy Mother's Day, ma.
Oh thank you, dearie!
I mean, Mother's Day was yesterday, but I--

 

by Hari_Nezumi
5-11-09
Man these personal sites are creeptacular.
Listen to this one: "Single female, 6'2". Seeks similarly shaven-headed partner. Unibrows a plus. Must not mind involvement of sheep or extreme anal play".
So would I need to register to this site or...?

 

by Hari_Nezumi
5-15-09
You ever think about quitting drinking?
Nope.
Really? You haven't even considered it?

 

by Hari_Nezumi
6-08-09
Phew! Carrying this crucifix is hard under this hot sun. I'll just rest it here for now. Although these boards are pretty flammable, I hope the heat doesn't...
Oh no! It caught fire! Good thing I have my special flame-resistant hood and suit with me!
Oh is this your yard?

 
by Hari_Nezumi, 6-15-09

 

by Hari_Nezumi
6-17-09
About 87% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
That is very interesting.

Showing page 3.

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