All comics by Makin_d_bacon

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-23-16
Hey old dude, I'm here for the greased pig contest.
Greased pig contest?
Yeah...so where is the little greaser.
I only have one pig but I don't think he's greased. He's over yonder
Oh he's a greaser alright. He even smells of a WOP's kitchen.
Hey now...that's an insult to my Sicilian/Lithuanian heritage.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-23-16
Wow have ya heard? Yahoo has been hacked!
No kiddin? For real?
I'm positive! Every user of Yahoo needs to change their passwords or they'll have massive security issues.
I better call a company meeting and inform all 5000 of our workers.
Later, at the end of said meeting....
So in closing, get those Yahoo passwords changed A.S.A.P.!!!
What the hell is a "Yahoo" anyway?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-23-16
Oh well! Looks like "Once a pig, ALWAYS a pig"!
No dice on the comeback, huh?
Nope...the Bradmeister was, let's say, cool to the idea!
Don't worry. You're waaaay funnier than that Pasta Topper guy!
Ya think?
Absolutely....but, then again, even the Black Plague was funnier than THAT Bozo!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-24-16
Who do "I" think is the greatest actor?
Yes, enquiring minds want to know!
I'd have to say Max Von Sydow for his role in....
Any of his Bergman films...right? I agree.
..."Strange Brew".
Seriously? As "The Brewmeister", eh? You hoser!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-24-16
Damn...I can't have my old account back. I can't make comments. I can't make edits. I can't do ANYTHING worth a crap!
Just like old times, eh?
I do so hate you!
Maybe if you became a donor again, numb-nuts, things would change!
I would but, in my current state, breaking into my "piggy bank" E.G. might appear suicidal!
The only guy I know with a "Piggy Bank" named Ezra Goldenstern!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-24-16
So ragu4u, you've FINALLY turned to ME for advice!
Yeah...so what do ya think? If Prince could do it, why can't I?
So now you'll become "makin_d_bacon" (The Comic Stripper formerly known as ragu4u), eh?
Pretty much, yeah! Say...are you a Canadian like Brad?
NOBODY is a Canadian like Brad, eh?
Even the Lord stands in awe!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-24-16
Welcome to Bank One...I'm Barry! And you are....?
It's complicated! I'd like to open an account but I have no money. Now make it snappy!
So you won't tell me your name and you have no funds, yet you expect me to jump through hoops to serve you, eh?
Oh.....and I'm a Muslim!
Well then, why didn't you say so, sir? I'll rush through your paperwork immediately, eh?
These damn Canadians are push-overs!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-24-16
Welcome to the Burlington, Washington Macy's! May I help you?
This here camera won't take no pichers.
That's because it's a rifle not a camera you stupid, red necked, Neaderthal hill-billy!
Oh? Well what if....
THERE ya go!!! Damn...I fergot ta have her say "cheese"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-25-16
At home with Lester Holt & his dad!
So Lester, ya'll finally made the big time, huh?
Yes father! I'm doing the Trump/Clinton debate.
Ya make me proud, boy! Do a good job and don't forget to make sure they ain't no butts left in them urinals!
What? I'm not the JANITOR there father! I'm the debate's master of ceremonies!
So what yer sayin is a master-debater is better than a custodian, huh?
Yes! Wait....NO! I mean.....SHIT! Spell that "M" word for me!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-25-16
Going to see Brad......
One to Ontario, please!
Business or pleasure, sir?
Both! I'm gonna make a website guy an offer he can't refuse.
So you're going to Canada to commit a crime, I take it? SECURITY!!!
Thus... accomodations for Mr. d_bacon
Oh baby, the guys in here are gonna make him squeal like a .....
Guard, why are these guys drooling?

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-25-16
Offices at stripcreator.com......
S'up?
Mr. d_bacon has been jailed at the airport as a terrorist!
You mean that pasta sauce/ pork rind transvestite?
One and the same! He's begging for your mercy!
Brad don't do mercy! I'm off to "Burning Man". Have his body cremated and pulverized into maggot feed.
How very altuistic of you! As you wish, boss. Little maggots need food too.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-26-16
I wonder....?
What?
If I make a hilarious comic on stripcreator.com but nobody goes there any more to read it, is it STILL hilarious?
Well?
I think ya gotta first make a hilarious comic! Work on THAT!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-26-16
makin_d_bacon is A.K.A. Mr.Misquote
I wonder who THAT could be?
*knock, knock*
Who is it?
Pearl Bailey!
Get lost woman. The Bible clearly states that one should NEVER cast a Pearl before a swine.
Ya'll can kiss my black ass, porkchop!!!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-26-16
$10 for a BJ! Interested?
A BJ? Uh....I guess.
One Hour Passes.....
Look pal, I been sucking on that thing for an hour. What's the hold up with the sperm?
OH! That's what you wanted, huh? Ya gotta ask, cause I'm a gentleman and a gentleman nerver cums till called!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-26-16
Shall I stay doctor?
No. I just need to obtain several brain tissue samples from Mr. Jones!
A short time later.....
Geez doctor....what happened?
I'm not sure. It usually goes so smoothly. It's as if the man under the sheet wasn't even dead yet.
He WASN'T. The guy under the sheet was a napping Resident. Mr Jones was still in the cooler.
Damn...up go my rates, AGAIN!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-26-16
I hate these roadside beggars!
Anything will be appreciated, sir!
Take THAT, scumbag!
Hey! Why you spit in my box? Now I gotta get rough....
Now, now there...you got change for a hundred?
Butch no do "change"!

 

Being the "shit disturber" that I am....
Black Lives matter!
Smile, so's I kin see ya'll!
by Makin_d_bacon, 9-26-16

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-27-16
During the debate last night....
What the hell is with all that damned *sniffing* Trump's doing?
Sounds like a guy who has snorted waaaay to much ....
...stuff!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-27-16
Man oh man did Trump kick ass last night or what?
Under the circumstances, I'd have to agree!
Circumstances? What circumstances?
She out-numbered him!
How'd Hillary do THAT?
Not "Hillary", but "Hillary/Holt"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-27-16
Just prior to the debate last night...
Yes, Lester, it is true. My penis does drag the floor!
And how does that makes you better than Secretary Clinton, Mr. TrumP?
I don't think her penis does.
Don't bet on it!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-28-16
Hey Jamilia...what be you callin dat fella whats picken the polk for ya'lls polk salad?
Him? He be.....
...nuttin but a pig in de polk!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-28-16
I need a contract from the file cabinet NOW, Chen.
Chen go right away....get files chop chop!
Hurry up old hag and get me those files or else.
Or else? Or else WHAT, buster?
Well? Where are they?
Would you believe....

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-29-16
So...who ya gonna bother now, porkchop?
Contact "AtomicLunch"!
Can't! He's eating!
AtomicLunch is out to lunch, eh? I wonder where those "Atomic" types eat lunch, anyway?
Probably, right off of the "Lunch Pad"! *rimshot*
Pardon me whilst I go puke!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-29-16
Thanks for calling "Suicide Hotline".
It's me...makin_d_bacon, formerly known as ragu4u!
Oh?
I'm missing my old....
Hello? HELLO? DARN IT, she hung up..... AGAIN!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-29-16
Thanks for calling "Suicide Hotline".
You hung up on me.........AGAIN!
Because you can't be helped.
There must be somewhere you can suggest where I can get results.
I already told you 1000 times. It's in Oregon and called "Death Valley". They'll fix you right up but you gotta pay in advance and.....
I know, I know! I gotta be a resident for at least 30 days first.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-30-16
You is so boo-ti-ful!
You're the prettiest tree ever.
Friggin show-off!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
9-30-16
Hi there, boy! Do you belong here?
I think.
How do I know you're even a Catholic? Show me proof!
Ok, Ok....
Here ya go. One tenth of all my bones.
God does love dogs that tithe!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-01-16
Avast ye, matey and stow that jetsam till 8 bells.
Huh?
I'll have ye walkin the plank and ye'll be sleeepin with the fishes in Davey Jones Locker, bucco!
Ok, Ok! I'll do it later.
I just love to mess with him on "Talk Like a Pirate Day"!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-01-16
You got some balls, coming up here lookin like THAT!
I'ts still ME! Just the "new & improved" ME!
Improved? Improved how?
You gotta admit, ditching the tie and flat-top was a plus!
I don't "gotta admit" nuthin, loser!
Well then...back to my "Fortress of Solitude" in the cellar. The pasta sauce should be ready any minute.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-01-16
The kitchen of rag (oops)...Mr.d_bacon
You wanna tasta dis batcha de pasta sauce?
Why are you asking ME, fine sir?
Cause you de boss man, right? I'ma knowa dat B.O. anyplace.
Damn...this get-up doesn't fool anybody!
Whata get upa? You looka de same-a to me!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-01-16
You want to what...?
Ya know...
No! What?
...I was wondering if your team would like their balls kissed for good....
...and before you knew it......
But I never meant to imply....
So, what you're saying is that they misunderstood your intention, huh? I'm sure!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-01-16
Ok...what happened THIS time?
So...what's for dinner? Not the same old shit, I hope!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-02-16
Is there a problem?
Damn right, there's a problem. You were supposed to circumsize my baby boy but instead you castrated him!
Our circumsizer was a tad off, I admit.
Oh yeah? Well, get ready cuz I'm gonna sue his ass.
...and thus, the lawsuit began.
...and THEN you lopped off that little kid's junk....balls and all....didn't you mister, uh........?
Actually, it's Doctor. Dr. Scissorhands!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-02-16
Dr. Scissorhands, eh? How very appropriate.
Don't get "snippy" with ME, buster cuz I know "SNIPPY" when I hear it..
I'll bet. You kinda went overboard with that "snippy" business on the genitals of my client's son.
That little prick twitched at the last second...literally. It couldn't be helped.
Really? That's not what my nurse tells me. SHE says that you're deadly accurate with those things...even under pressure.
Damn women. Loose lips sink ships!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-02-16
Did you say "YOUR" nurse? I thought you were a lawyer?
I meant the nurse I hired to spy on you to learn your M.O. She claims you located her G spot in 3 seconds.
I was a tad off that day, I guess. I'm usually much quicker.
Aha...so in truth, you're a virtuoso with those claws, aren't you?
But like I said...the little prick was wiggling. Get that spy nurse in here. I want to confront my accuser!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-02-16
Please step in here Miss Hardnipple!
Oh NO...not HER!
I knew we'd meet again, stud-muffin. You're the only guy who rode me bareback, while I bucked like a bronco, and ya never missed a beat.
But that was surely an anomoly. A fluke. Nobody has THAT kind of control. Not even ME!
Thank you Miss Hardnipple! I've heard enough. Now, as for YOU! You castrate a baby that twitches but never miss a beat during HOT, rough sex, eh?
Sure it sounds bad if you say it like THAT!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-02-16

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-02-16
Bad? BAD? I'll see you do so much time that your asshole will rust!
Well then, as Monty Hall would say, "Let's Make a Deal"!
Confess and admit wrong doing and I'll see that you're allowed conjugal visits from hookers.
DEAL! But I'll need something else, too.
And what's THAT?
Shop towels and plenty of WD-40 between hooker visits.

 

Halftime at a "PONG" Tournament
by Makin_d_bacon, 10-02-16

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-02-16
Everybody needs "Home Owner's Insurance" cause ya just never know.
Yeah...right! Scram, junior!
Alrighty then, but I hope this decision doesn't turn around and bite you in the buns!
HEY! Leave my buns out of this. They'll be just fine!
But then you probably already guessed
"...or I'll huff & I'll puff & I'll blow your house down!"
...and here I COULDA been in those "Good Hands" right now.

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-03-16
An alley in an undiclosed location....
So Kain, it appears we are the last men standing!
True dat, Saucy-Chop boy!
I guess we've offended the rest of the tribes people here, somehow!
Are you saying "I'M" offensive?
Does the foo shit? Hey! Don't turn your back on ME!
*queeeef* Take THAT!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-03-16
*knock, Knock*
Who is it?
It's the red hot female escort you ordered from "Rear Entry Escorts"!
Yeah, baby, swing dat fine ass on in here!
Jimmy?
Ma? I thought you QUIT!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-04-16
Would ya just look at THAT...bigworm is BACK....
...making those comics he's so well known for...
...which the "old me" had a hard time understanding and the "new me" shouldn't even attempt to!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-04-16
Hey ma, dad forgot his lunch money!
He won't need it.
Why is that?
Long story!
I'll bet she knocked your teeth out this time...didn't she?
Uh huh!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-05-16
Look at this "DBoba" dude! He's on fire!
I know! I know! All my bytes are burning up!
He's kinda wordy, tho! I gotta head to a meeting.
Wordy? Ain't that like the pot calling the kettle BLACK?
Call me "BLACK" again and you'll find yourself in the compactor!
Have a nice meeting! DICK-WAD!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-05-16
LIke my extravagantly expensive church, Abe?
Eh...not bad for a Goy!
Don't Jews know God wants people to flaunt the wealth He's provided?
I thought you people believed in JESUS?
We do!
Sounds more like Joel Olsteen to me!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-05-16
*knock, knock* I've come for your father. Open up!
He's sleeping. Come back later!
Look kid, I'm real busy & I don't do "callbacks".
Too bad, buddy. He's napping & nobody wrecks his naps! Wait till he wakes up!
THAT ain't gonna be happening, kid. Trust me!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-06-16
Damn...the ad said this hotel was right ON Miami Beach. It's not even CLOSE!
They say Hurricane Mathew is coming anyway. Let's get inside before it hits!
Why? This damn hotel is three miles from the beach!
Better safe than sorry!
...but hours later....
Hey...where's the sidewalk?
You wanted beach. You GOT beach!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-06-16
Say...aren't you the comic stripper formerly known as rag....
SHHHHHHH!
What's wrong?
Lithuanian Sicarios are EVERYWHERE!
And I mean EVERYWHERE!!!
Ruoškitės mirti, kiaulių!

 

by Makin_d_bacon
10-06-16
In the home of ragu4u....
Ya know what I was thinking?
Is "comeback" any part of that thought?
Sometimes I think you're a mind reader, because that's JUST what...
*zzt zzzt zzzt zzzt*
...I was...WHOA! You just melted!
*zzzzzzzzzzzzzz*

Showing page 3.

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