All comics by TheNewSoup

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by TheNewSoup
12-12-04
...and THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is why every ktten should own a scratching post!
*giggle*
in other news, a convention hall in boston was attacked and blown sky high by a terrorist today. the casualties have not been totaled yet, but officials estimate a total of 75 deaths from the-
hey, fuck this. let's tlak more about cats! MAN, do they love laser pointers! and tinfoil too!
*giggle*

 

by TheNewSoup
12-30-04
i love you, my dear.
al, this isn't working. we're breaking up.
why? WHY?!
there's another guy in my life now, al.
oh, *I* see how it is. what is it, is he richer than me? better looking? what is it, you shallow WHORE?!
could be that he's actually a PENGUIN, dipshit.

 

by TheNewSoup
1-01-05
so alan, where's this big shiny red million dollar fire truck i keep hearing so much about?
i dunno.
oink

 

by TheNewSoup
3-19-05
so i was sitting at home the other night, right?
yeah, yeah, then what?
no, really, i wanna know.
i'm really confused.

 

by TheNewSoup
3-19-05
are you lost, little deer? the desert's no place for a dee-
that's trippy shit.

 

by TheNewSoup
3-19-05

 

by TheNewSoup
3-19-05
JESUS CHRIST CHANGE YOUR NOSE AGAIN! I'VE SEEN YOU DO IT!
dear god that's fucking scary.

 

by TheNewSoup
3-26-05
hi there! i'm flint. flint lilywocket.
let's go on an adventure. you can be my sidekick. come on, let's go!

 

by TheNewSoup
3-26-05
dum dee dum da dum da whoopee bang yahoo da dum dee da doo...
well i'll be! a dumb guy! are you gonna help me fight the evil, mr. dumb guy?
i was going to, but you really offended me by calling me dumb. i'll have you know that i'm NOT dumb, i have dyslexia, a disease of the brain.
i'm sorry, i had no idea.

 

by TheNewSoup
3-26-05
hi there! flint's the name, lilywocket's the game! heh heh! what's new?
oh, you're one of those forest fires, huh?
my mom says i shouldn't talk to your kind, and that you should have to go to different schools than us white people.

 

by TheNewSoup
3-26-05
i've always wanted to be a newspaper reporter.

 

by TheNewSoup
3-26-05
i've been walking around lost in the wilderness for quite some time. can you tell me where i am?
no.

 

by TheNewSoup
3-26-05
hey friend, wanna come on a quest with me?
GET OUTTA MAH VALLEY!
sure showed him.

 

by TheNewSoup
3-26-05
hey you! what're you doing here? this is my turf!
i'm on a journey. a journey for JUSTICE!
really? i'll come with you and be your companion!
hey! come back!

 

by TheNewSoup
3-26-05
my feet are starting to hurt from all this walking.
i think i'll change my name to robert.
no, no.... gregory. okay, i'll settle for trevor.

 

by TheNewSoup
3-26-05
i made it! the big city! now i can finally start my career as an actor!
for a while, it seemed as though trevor lilywocket forgot all about his mission to stop the evil...
WOOHOO! I CAN SEE IT NOW! TREVOR LILYWOCKET: MOVIE STAR!

 

by TheNewSoup
3-26-05
so, do you think i've what it takes to be a star?
hmmm, let's find out. read these lines and i'll tell you what i think.
"mother, i know you've been lonely since father left for the war, but i'm your son! this has gone far enough!"
those aren't the lines i gave you.
it was on that day that trevor lilywocket learned the most important lesson of his life: creativity is a terrible thing.
goodbye, city! i doubt i'll ever return!

 

by TheNewSoup
3-26-05
man, i'm thirsty!
wow, the ocean! all right!
3 hours later...
man, i'm drowning!

 

by TheNewSoup
3-26-05
wow, check that out! i've never seen anything like it!
AMAZING.

 

by TheNewSoup
3-27-05
wow, i wonder what happened here!
probably got destroyed by something.

 

by TheNewSoup
3-28-05
someone's trapped in that burning building over there!
i'll save the day!
wait a second... there's no buildings in the desert!
IT'S A TRAAAAAAP!

 

by TheNewSoup
3-29-05
well, there he goes, sonny. one of the finest men i ever met. he sure cleaned up this town!
did you catch his name, pa?
you know, that's the funny thing. i never DID catch his name.
oh well. after all, what's in a name?
you've got a point, kaitlyn.
that's a girl's name.

 

by TheNewSoup
4-01-05
dun da dee da dun.... ga boo ba deedly la la da dee....
hey you! you dropped something!
I'M A MAN ON A MISSION, AND I COULDN'T POSSIBLY CARE LESS IF I DROP SOME USELESS EARTHLY POSESSION!
YOU'VE GOT AN IRON WILL, SIR!

 

by TheNewSoup
4-03-05
OH NO! I JUST HAD A PREMONITION! SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN 3 SECONDS!
huh, i guess it happened to somebody else.

 

by TheNewSoup
4-09-05
am i speaking to the man of the house?
yeah.
wanna go hunting or fishing?
no.

 

by TheNewSoup
4-09-05
wow, look at all this carnage.
it's disgusting how freely we can kill other human beings. why, i-
WHOA! A WEREWOLF!

 

by TheNewSoup
4-15-05
*sigh* what a horrible predicament i'm in! how will i ever get myself out of this mess! trapped on a desert island! how do i get myself into these things?
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!
it's hot.

 

by TheNewSoup
4-16-05
ARRRRRR!
I'm really sorry.

 

by TheNewSoup
4-22-05
ask me a question. anything. i'm a genius.
when will world war 3 start?
got any other questions?

 

by TheNewSoup
4-23-05
bartender, gimme a whiskey on the rocks.
lemme see yer license.
license? *chuckle* idiot, i'm not old enough for one of those!

 

by TheNewSoup
4-29-05
hi there, ya ugly chump! boston bob's my name! what's yours?
thomas egg.
cool fries! nice to meet ya, mr. egg!
want me to sing you a song, tommy old omelette?
he'll never know!

 

by TheNewSoup
5-14-05
hi there! i'm trevor lilywocket, and today i'm trying to convince my friend to jump off a building!
hey you! your new name is fern fisher!
yep. that did it.
AAAAAAAAH!

 

by TheNewSoup
5-21-05
thanks for inviting me over to your house, but is there anywhere i can sit down?
*snort* the floor's plenty clean!
no it isn't.
well of COURSE it isn't! i like to keep things nice and SCUMMY around here! this IS a pirate vessel, you know!

 

by TheNewSoup
5-29-05
ah, back in the slammer. back in the big house. i missed the familiar aroma this place emanates, it's very soothing.
i'm starting to think lighting off fireworks on that guy's door step was a bad idea.
what? that's crazy talk, you yellow bellied son of a yoga master! but let's not lose our tempers, we've gotta find a way to break out of this horrible place ASAP!
i've got it, let's try sawing through the bars on that window with my hacksaw! i knew it'd come in handy today!
what, you mean you wanna leave ALREADY?! we just GOT here!
okay, we can stay for lunch but that's it!

 

by TheNewSoup
6-03-05
okay, enough kit kat! er, i mean, chit chat! what shall we do now?
let's go to the bar and pick up some women!
women? WHAT?
you got it! i've been in sexual hibernation for 30 years! that's ONE world record i ain't proud of, if ya catch my drift!
31 for me!
dang! i better try harder!

 

by TheNewSoup
6-04-05
it was a tremendous idea of yours to get some thick n' pulpy pulpburgers at the store and roast them in my front yard! how're they comin'?
they're coming great! can't you smell 'em?
that's the burgers? i thought my sewage tank ruptured.
it did! no need to thank me!

 

by TheNewSoup
7-06-05
sorry i ruptured your sewage tank, it's just that my pool's gettin' repaired and the water looked so inviting!
what are you going to do to fix this problem?
nothin'! but i DID get you some air freshener!
wow, thanks! what's it smell like?
well, remember that sewage tank of yours?

 

by TheNewSoup
7-16-05
well, so long mister boston bob! the time has come for me to move on, and continue spreading my wisdom to mankind.
same goes for me too!
*chuckle* and by wisdom, i DON'T mean the popular brand of canned liquified sea urchin!
that makes one of us!

 

by TheNewSoup
7-17-05
why dontcha get the hell outta mah city, fag?!
you're not the boss of me, man! i do what i want! i'll kick your ass, prick!
y-yeah, you'd BETTER run! stupid!

 

by TheNewSoup
7-17-05
whoa! that guy over there looks exactly like me!
HEY MAN, WHAT'S UP?!
guess what, i got plastic surgery to make me look exactly like you, mr. lilywocket!
stupid fans.

 

by TheNewSoup
7-17-05
what seems to be the problem here, ma'am?
somebody's blocked off all access to our village's sewage system!
how terrible!
i know! where else will my people acquire food in the winter months?

 

by TheNewSoup
7-17-05
hey buddy, can you tell me what time it is?
let me check my watch.
no.

 

by TheNewSoup
7-17-05
hya! hwa!
HIYAH! HIA! HUUUWAH! HYA!
keep going! a little higher! you're so close to kicking this dead guy's hand!
RRGH! HWARGH! HIYAH! URGH!

 

by TheNewSoup
7-24-05
so how about it? want me to join you on your quest?
not really. this is a journey meant to be taken by me, and me alone!
oh really? well, can you and you alone do...THIS?! FWA!
i can damn well try!
5 DAYS LATER
when are you going to give that kick a try?
okay, fine. you can come with me.

 

by TheNewSoup
7-24-05
so, what's your name, anyway?
Tasty Skulls.
your name is tasty skulls? what the hell? are you messing with me?
oh, of course not! that's just my pro wrestling name!
oh, okay. makes sense. so what's your real name?
i dunno.

 

by TheNewSoup
7-24-05
i hate you!
i hate you!
i love you!
i love you!
THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER EXCITING EPISODE OF INUYASHA!

 

by TheNewSoup
8-03-05
okay, is this destroyed city YOUR fault?
no! i swear i didn't do it! it was the work of the devil!
well? WELL?!
dude, she's lying. i had nothing to do with it.
i...i don't know who to believe!
it was TOTALLY satan! really!

 

by TheNewSoup
8-06-05
you know, ever since you teamed up with me this quest has been a lot less enjoyable.
really?
what do you think you're doing differently?

 

by TheNewSoup
8-09-05
i have to admit, that was a tasty dinner! i'm impressed!
haha! well, i AM an excellent chef!
yeah, unlike SOME people i know!
who the hell are you?
i'm trevor lilywocket!

 

by TheNewSoup
8-09-05
tum te tum te tum... la la la de doo da dee...
why are you still following me?
what's your name?

Showing page 3.

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