All comics by descolada99

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by descolada99
7-13-01
Wonder Dong, activate!

 

by descolada99
7-19-01
I AM SIR MIX ALOT!!
What?!
I like big butts and I can not lie. You other brothers can't deny..
You're not a 'brother'...
that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung!
Umm.. you can't get 'sprung' either. Dumbass.

 

by descolada99
7-19-01
I AM SIR MIX A LOT!
What?! I told you not to smoke the whole bag! Now there's none for me...
I like big butts and I can not lie. You other brothers can't deny..
Ummm you are not a brother..
that when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung!
You can't get sprung either. I'm outta here... URP!! What is that in my ass?!

 

by descolada99
7-22-01
All right.. take it from the top!
Ohhhh.. the world loves beef jerkyyyy!! Chewy and tangy and ohh soo goood!!!
Ohhhh.. the world loves beef jerkyyyy!! Chewy and tangy and ohh soo goood!!!
Ohhhh.. the world loves beef jerkyyyy!! Chewy and tangy and ohh soo goood!!!
Thohhhh.. the thorld thoves theef therkyyyy!! Thewy thand thangy thand thohh thoo thoood!!!
CUT!! CUT!! Damnit Roger, you're fired! You just won't work in my production of A Beef Jerky Chorus Line!
Ohhhh.. the world loves beef jerkyyyy!! Chewy and tangy and ohh soo goood!!!
Ohhhh.. the world loves beef jerkyyyy!! Chewy and tangy and ohh soo goood!!!

 

by descolada99
7-23-01
Me love you long time...
FINALLY!! I can now seek my revenge on that slut, Asian Girl On The Left!
Sucky sucky, fi' dolla..
Fuck... lots good that did..

 

by descolada99
7-23-01
We're introducing a new cheap comic series - Knock Knock Jokes! Welcome Johnny for our first episode!
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Katmandu
Katmandu who?
Katmandu what Catwoman wants!

 

by descolada99
7-23-01
Hey there! For Knock Knock #2 we have a special guest today - Captain Lowpass!
Knock knock
Who's there?
Little Boy Blue!
Little Boy Blue who?
Michael Jackson!

 

by descolada99
7-23-01
Hey there.. ith that beef jerky in your panth or are you jutht happy to thee me?
I'm sorry miss, but it is just my package. I've been told it tastes remarkable like beef jerky though!
We regret to inform you this panel has been censored due to explicit content.
It seems Captain Lowpass' package fills the panel and the things Sicko Bunny attempted with it were.. objectionable.
That'll be twelve dollarth pluth an extra ten becauthe I thwallowed.
I was right about the taste wasn't I? I should get a discount for that!

 

by descolada99
7-24-01
Mr. Ewing.. I have a special proposition for you. If you go into the back room, one of our best dancers will do anythign you want!
ANYTHING! And just because I'm a famous pro athelete?
That's right. Anything your heart desires. Just down that hall, second door on the right!
Sweet! Being famous rules!
Please sit down Mr. Ewing. This will only hurt for a minute.
EEEEEEEEK!!!

 

by descolada99
7-30-01
January: www.stripcreator.com
So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA!
April: www.stripcreator.com
So I says, "How did that nudibranch get interlarded into my anus?!"
Ha.. ha....
July: www.stripcreator.com
So I says, "TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!"
For the love of all that is Holy, what have I done?!

 

by descolada99
7-31-01
So I says, "Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!"
"How did that nudibranch get interlarded into my anus?!"
"Ha ha u sux Je5u5 I haxor u!"
"Donkey sodomy is always funny!"
"TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!"
"I DO NOT SUCK DICK!

 

by descolada99
8-01-01
Hey.. didja hear about this girl in Italy that's being a total whore in Italy and spewing hot ass all over the place? I think her name's Edna.
Ummm.. it's a volcano geezer-man.
I mean, not only is it bad she's acting cheap and stuff but spewing hot ass? That's just gross!
Earth to Helmut - it's a volcano!
I mean, when I was growing up the only way to see spewing hot ass was to rent German porn. Now this chick Edna gives it away for free!
IT'S A VOLCANO YOU STUPID SICK FUCK!!!

 

by descolada99
8-02-01
I'm Bartleby. We're angels banished from Heaven to Wisconsin, but we're gonna sneak back in.
I'm Loki. I used to be the Angel of Death. I like shooting people.
snootchie bootchies! You can't do that! You'll like, fuck everything up! Right lunchbox?
...
This is God. If she were to speak your head would explode, but trust us, she made everything better.

 

by descolada99
8-03-01
I create you, for I love you.
But don't do ANYTHING even resembling fun. that includes pork, dancing, cards, sex.....
Sorry son, you gotta go. It was the wine trick. Next they'll be asking you to turn the river into Guinness. Gotta make up a cover story though.
Let me guess, I'm going to die for their sins? Great... and I was just about to ask that Mary Magdaline chick out!
Dude.. what the hell just happened? It's like.. the world ended or something.
Good call, dipshit. I'm outta here.

 

by descolada99
8-06-01
I wonder if this is # 30,000...
I doubt it. We're probably way too late.
At least we have each other and the men who pay $5 a blow.
That's not us, that's *you*, slut!
Bitch!! Whore!! Cunt!! I'll stick your 'fi dolla' where the sun don't fucking shine!!

 

by descolada99
8-06-01
My name's Dubya and I'm your President. I'm here today to pitch to you my idea to solve world hunger.
Ya see, I was munching down a burrito from Taco Bell when I realized that because Taco Bell is so cheap, it could solve world hunger.
By building these everywhere in the world, poor people could have jobs and cheap food to eat.
But since we can't have poor people running around everywhere with jobs...
...let''s fix world hunger through mass sterilization of the poor and the destruction of Taco Bell!
Yeee-hawww!

 

by descolada99
8-06-01
Helmut speaks to his campaign supporters.
In my bid for President, I know many of you are not receptive to my Cornhole The Nation 2004 campaign slogan.
Now while controversial, I think once my pick for VP has been heard, you'll all see the genius in my plan.
I think through agressive repayment of the debt and a morally conscious domestic policy plan...
*crickets chirping*
ummmm...... RARRR! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE AMERICA!!!
**applause.. standing ovation**! TO-BOR! TO-BOR! TO-BOR!

 

by descolada99
8-07-01

 

by descolada99
8-09-01
Descolada seeks the Comic Gurus for advice.
First, you must purge your mind of all thoughts and help me with regular expressions!
Gi me fi dolla an I tell you wha to do...
Well, a successful comic involves kangaroos, a rubber glove and some high quality lubricant.
Mayeb you should find a job before thinking about comic strips, dipshit.
You need a vision maaaan. Smoke some fine herb and you'll make comics everyone will dig.
RARRRRRRRR!

 

by descolada99
8-16-01
True Story: My brother and I go out drinking
Mmmmm good beer and hot waitresses. This is nice.
Amen! I think I'll droll over that waitress some more while I drink my gin & tonic!
*hack hack cough sputter hack*
Yes, that is an actual quote.
What was that?!
Arghhh the gin & tonic went up my nose.. it burns! I JUST DOUCHED MY NOSE!

 

by descolada99
8-16-01
Welcome to tonight's movie - Supergirl
*cheesy music* *cheesy dialog*
Supergirl? She can super do my laundry!
*cheesy music* *cheesy dialog*
Or super make my babies!

 

by descolada99
8-16-01
Oh no some one is trying to get rid of all Pokemon that sucks poke-ass what will I do?
Use your strong Pokemon to defeat them you are a great trainer you have many great strong Pokemon!
But which to choose I have so many I usually use Pikafuck but that thing got annoying a long time ago who should I choose?
Use your newest Pokemon the one you captured yesterday it is not fully trained but very strong I have faith in you!
Wirthling! I choose you!
Wirth. Wirth. Ling!! Wirth!! Ling!!

 

by descolada99
8-31-01
Today on Little Known Facts, we'll introduce you to the lost Eighth Dwarf, Lispy.
Withle while you work.. thh thh thhhhh thhhh thhhhh thhhhh thhhhhhhhhhh
Knowyou know why he was lost.

 

by descolada99
9-05-01
Bet you I can make you make a sound like a train whistle.
Can't.
Can to.
Can't
Woo woo woo woo wooooooooooo

 

by descolada99
9-07-01
Hey Kaufman, pull my nipple ring.
Oh GOD no... Spankling, you are one wierd dude.
Then let your cat pull my nipple ring.
My cat?
Yeah, your cat. He's dead sexy.
Why, oh, why did I ever let DexX draw me for this site?

 

by descolada99
9-07-01
Get if OFF!! Please.. someone... get it offffff!!!!
It's on my face!! Sweet JESUS it burns!! Ohhhhh mercy it's on my lip.. someone PLEASE help meeee!!!
AIEEEEEEEEEE!

 

by descolada99
11-05-01
One copy of "Buying A Dog For Dummies".. that'll be $19.20.
All I have to pay with are these muffins..
Well.. that's 235 muffins..
You're the dummy you're buying a dog for aren't you?

 

by descolada99
11-06-01
Kung Fu powers activate!!! Form of - Tentacle Sex Monster!!!
What if transmissions of bad anime are effecting the evolution of space robots light years away?
Ummm aren't you supposed to be the schoolgirl this time?
No way! I was last time!
Nija Powers go!!! Form of - Tentacle Sex Monster!!!

 

by descolada99
11-09-01
You solved world hunger. Through the gates and to the left.
Let's see... you wrote inspiring novels that uplifted millions. Through the gates, to the right.
You know all those jokes at my expense? They weren't funny. But you made damn good garlic bread. Come on in.

 

by descolada99
11-10-01
Okay.. umm.. I guess we'll take the fat kid.
Ha ha!! I am king of the dogeball losers once again!!!
Someday your villainy will be defeated, Fat Kid!!
You mean we're stuck with the redhead again?

 

by descolada99
11-10-01
Well, a fine mess you've gotten us into this time!! Everything you do ends up this way.
But you've got to admit that trying to cross the ocean on a giant inflatable Britney Spears was a hell of an idea!
Yeah, until the sharks attacked.
It's not my fault they thought Britney's inflated ass looked like a yummy morsel.
If we get out of this, you're getting all your "experiements" out of my kitchen - especially the Chia Pussy. It's starting to creep out my wife.
But I had to sink my life savings into that! It's almost ready to show to investors!

 

by descolada99
11-11-01
BUMP!
BUMP BUMP!!!
BUMP BUMP BUMP!!!!
Give it to me Tobor!!!

 

by descolada99
11-11-01
BUMP!
BUMP BUMP!!
BUMP BUMP BUMP!!!
What?! A girl can't have a little fun?

 

by descolada99
11-11-01
BUMP!
BUMP BUMP!!
Ohhh Bill.... it's been soooo long!!
Hillary?!?! I thought you were in New York or something?!

 

by descolada99
11-11-01
BUMP!
BUMP BUMP!!
Oh yeah!! Take it bitch!!

 

by descolada99
11-11-01
Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala
Wang Zhizhi
Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala!!!!
Wang Zhizhi!!!!!!!
CHRIS FUAMATU-MA'AFALA!!!!!!!!!!
WANG ZHIZHI!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by descolada99
11-13-01
This is a story....
...of a man named Crabby...
Congrats Crabby.
AIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
...who somehow was allowed to reproduce...

 

by descolada99
11-13-01
Hey there Lady J. Wanna hear one of my incredibly bad jokes?
No, but I'm stuck here so I have to.
What do you call a dog that sneezes everytime a person does?
I really don't want to know...
A Golden Resneezer
Someone please kill him...

 

by descolada99
11-13-01
'Sup Dan? Want to hear one of my world famous bad jokes?
Sure. I'm feeling masochistic today.
How do you make a baby float?
I have no idea...
Add some ice cream and root beer!
I now feel dumber.

 

by descolada99
11-13-01
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Tobor.
Tobor who?
....
AIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

 

by descolada99
11-13-01
Having money troubles? Need some quick cash? Call Cheap Ass Mortgages today!!! Use the money for ANYTHING!
Later
Hello, Cheap Ass Mortgages?
Even Later
Hellow, Underage Asian Hookers?

 

by descolada99
11-15-01
The Bin Man...
I have no heart!
The Scary Ho...
I have no mind!
And The Cowardly Scion
Hold me....

 

by descolada99
11-19-01
My girlfriend told me her maternal clock was ticking.
And me with no wang....

 

by descolada99
11-19-01
Hey!! It worked!!
Now this is a story all about how...
my life got flipped turned upside down...
and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there, I'll tell you how I become the prince of a town called Bel-Air!

 

by descolada99
11-19-01
My girlfriend told me her maternal clock was ticking.
Ooops. Guess it was just that bomb in her purse.

 

by descolada99
11-20-01
If you're Jesus and you know it clap your hands!
...
...
Damn

 

by descolada99
11-20-01
My girlfriend told me her maternal clock was ticking.
I told her my daddy could fix up a secret abortion right quick.

 

by descolada99
11-20-01
My girlfriend told me her maternal clock was ticking.
I told her only after dodgeball and when she's done grading my test.

 

by descolada99
11-20-01
Heave... Ho!
Wheeeeeeee....
...eeeeeeeeeeee....
...eeeeeeeeeeee....
...eeeeeeeeeeee....
...eeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

 

by descolada99
12-03-01
Hey Liz...
Hey Jason.
Damn I wanna kiss her.
hehehe he wants to kiss me.
...
CHICKEN!!!!

Showing page 3.

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