All comics by pslock

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by pslock
11-02-03
WOOHOO! YESS! I'm a Jedi now with my own lightsaver and everything!! *woosh!* *zap!* *rrrooww!*
YEAH!! Take that evil guys!! Time to whip some Sith butt!!
GRRR!! I am an extremely evil space wolf who is preventing you from getting through this forest!!
Phht...whatever. I'll take you out with my bitchin' Jedi powers! I'M INVINCIBLE!!
*miss* *miss* *miss* *5 dmg* *miss* *miss* *2 dmg* *miss*
What the hell? This sucks!!
Are you still here? I've been beating your friends here for awhile now.

 

by pslock
11-02-03
Whatever..I'll get my party to finish you off!! Ok, Carth!! Get 'em!!
Carth??? Dude, throw a grenade? Blast him? Punch him in the face....SOMETHING!!!
*sigh*
What the hell? He's not even facing this way...he's stuck in a rock or something over there..
Yeah, that happens around here a lot...look, I gotta get back to my pack and all...

 

by pslock
11-02-03
BILL GATES CIRCA 1980-SOMETHING
640k should be enough for everybody!!
Jesus, I am so tired of that quote...aren't you?
But it's TEH FUNNY!!!
No it isn't. It's dumb.
Wait..I think I have a book of SUPAR FUNNAY ironic quotes like that.. Here's one...Henry Ford saying "4 MPH should be enough for everyone!!" OMG!!

 

by pslock
11-02-03
I NEED SOME DOWNTIME. I THINK I'LL RELAX IN A VIRTUAL GARDEN *now generating*
YEAH, SINCE WE'RE WINNING THE WAR ON TERRORISM OR SERVICES AREN'T AS URGENT. I NEED A REST TOO. VACATION!
AHHH. THE OPEN SEA! ALTHOUGH THIS ISN'T GOOD FOR MY CIRCUITS.
MY FREAKISHLY MUTATED BODY (created in part by the US Military [tm]) DOES NOT REACT WELL TO THE OUTDOORS. PERHAPS WE SHOULD GO BACK.
WELP, THERE'S ALWAYS ALLCASELESSPCS.COM. OH YEAH, BABY...YOU'VE GOT A -BIG- SDRAM SLOT DON'T YOU??
MUST APPLY OINTMENT..

 

by pslock
11-03-03
GOD DAMN FAGGOTS!! NOW THERE'S A FAG PRIEST IN THE EPISCOPALIAN CHURCH! NOW THERE'S GOING TO BE FAG SEX ALL OVER MY CHURCH!! STUPID FAGS!!!
It's the first I've heard of it. What's the big deal? I mean, how is it that a gay priest is any more predisposed to having sex just cuz he's gay? What about priests who are attracted to women?
I mean, are straight priests having sex all over the altar with all sorts of women? Not that I've heard. Maybe the guy is a really nice priest? Do you even know him or have you met him?
........ FAG!
That was predictable.

 

by pslock
11-03-03
ALLI KNOW IS GOD SAYS HE HATES FAGS!!! ANY GOOD AMERICAN HATES FAGS!!
When was the last time you actually even went to church?
*mumble*...faglover...
That's what I thought.

 

by pslock
11-03-03
In the last two comics, the epithet "FAG" was used quite a bit to make a point. (albiet a point lost on most people). However, by no means should anyone be upset by this usage of a simple word.
In fact, for years, "fag" was common British slang for a cigarette, and "faggot" was once a traditional term for a bundle of kindling with which to start fires.
How it became a slur against gay people, I have no idea, but it probably has something to do with the fact that all homophobes are fucktards. Good evening, America.

 

by pslock
11-03-03
[on the phone to AOL] Duhhhrrr...*drool* ...uhh...umm. ...the thingy don't work..
[on the phone to AOL] me clicky...*droooool* ...colors? ...*groan*.. guhhhrrr...phha aaadd
[on the phone to AOL] the guy isn't running...ghhrr.. he standing... mmm...pornn. ..helppp me..
[on the phone to AOL] *strange gutteral noise for 25 seconds*
[on the phone to AOL] can I sleep? Gaarhhrrrr... modem fun...
Yes sir, but did you actually insert the disc?

 

by pslock
11-03-03
WTF?? You're cleaning a sink or something? This is worse than Burger Time!

 

by pslock
11-04-03
ARRR!! I think I'll be downloadin' me this new fangled CD album!!! Harrr...there me favorite artists!!
HALT!!! I've been on to you ever since we left Jamaica!!
HARRR!!! Foiled by me cursed pet squirrel! How can ye do this to me!! I took care of you after the brutal battle between here and Panama! Arr!!
I'm not a squirrel you fool! I'm actually Jack Valenti in a costume! Look off your port bow! See that fleet? It's the RIAA following closely behind! You're finished!
ARRRR! Ye not gettin' me without a fight!! Load the cannon Mr. Fuller!! We go to battle this eve!! ARRR!!
Fool! That's a galaxy class starship!! Your weapons are no match for them1

 

by pslock
11-04-03
What's this starship ye talkin' 'bout?? We're at sea!! FIRE THE CANNONS!!! ARRR..YE SCUM!!
You have no chance against that many Imperial Stormtroopers!!
Are ye retarded, squirrel?? This ain't be a space battle! 'Tis a sea batt...err... wait! What's going on?
I'm afraid you haven't been at sea for some time, my captain.
Huh?? What's going on...why do my eyes hurt??
Because you've never used them. Welcome...to the real world.

 

by pslock
11-04-03
ARRRR!! 'Tis the ARCHITECT!!
Correct, captain. And allow me to point out that all your questions are, at this point, irrelevant. Put simply, you've been part of an experiment.
Experiment?? YE SCUM!!!
We wanted to see if a haggard, old, sea-captain, if given the chance, would become an MP3 pirate. You proved our point quite eloquently I think. Observing your reactions is...interesting.
TO BE CONCLUDED...at some point.
HARR!! So this means the black-hearted beat that is Jack Valenti was just a figment of your twisted experiement??? ARR??
Oh no..he's definitely real. We're not THAT fucked up here.

 

by pslock
11-04-03
Bad news, I'm afraid. The execs turned down our fiercely original script for a Green Acres film with J Lo, Ben Affleck, and Carrot Top.
Bastards. We payed almost $5 octillion for that script!! Well...no matter..I have a new, better idea!
Oh, do tell!!
Well..first we dig up the corpse of Dr. Seuss, then we hire Mike Myers for $67 fazillion to fuck his dead body along with everyone who grew up on Seuss' books!
Brilliant, old bean!!
Yes!! We'll call it "The Cat In The Hat", and it'll be directed by someone who's NEVER made a film before!!! Oh, sometimes I scare MYSELF with my brilliant schemes!

 

by pslock
11-04-03
Dude...pass that bong back over here..I'm having an idea for a movie...
Right on, dude.....

 

by pslock
11-05-03
<--- NOTE THE HUGE FINDING NEMO DISPLAY TO THE REAR
Where's Finding Nemo?
It's right behind you, fucktard, in the giant display shaped like a shark that says "FINDING NEMO" in huge letters, you dipshit.
<--- NOTE THE HUGE FINDING NEMO DISPLAY TO THE REAR THAT INCLUDES *BOTH* VHS AND DVD
Oh...but that's just the VHS.
NOTE THE HUGE SHOTGUN HIDDEN BEHIND PSLOCK'S BACK---->
Well...??

 

by pslock
11-05-03
OMG!!! I LOST NEMO!!
*whew*

 

by pslock
11-05-03
THE EVIL ARCHITECT PLACES CAPT. SCURVY BACK INTO THE MATRIX!!
HAAARR! Back on the sea where me legs belong!!! Wait...huh? Where did you come from squirrel..I thought you were a figment of my badly experimented on mind.
Oh no, Mr. Scurvy. Quite the opposite. Welcome back. Like what I've done with the place?
Yes, welcome back, Mr. Scurvy.
We missed you.

 

by pslock
11-05-03
MASSIVE ACTION SEQUENCE TAKES PLACE IN WHICH CAPT. SCURVY BATTLES 100 SQUIRRELS!! (This comic took at least 4 months to put together)
ARRRR!!!! Time for some of me patented wooden-leg fu!!
It is inevitable.....
MUCH FIGHTING ENSUES
*punch* *kick* *slash* *nab* *thwap*
*swish* *dodge* *kick* *jump*
HAAARR!!! Only one of ye left!!!
Only one? Are you sure, Mr. Scurvy?

 

by pslock
11-05-03
Are you sayin' there's more of ye in here?
It works this way, Mr. Scurvy. For every illegal MP3 you downloaded, you created one of me. That's how this experiment works, only now -I- control the experiement.
There's no possible way I downloaded that many MP3s, though! Ye be lying!!
Oh, did I say MP3s? I also meant to include the number of pornographic pictures you've downloaded.
Good.....god.....
Yes, Mr. Scurvy......THAT many of us...

 

by pslock
11-05-03
Wow..the apocalypse sucks. Who would have thought the aliens would have toasted our asses so quickly? We're down to what...one ship now?
Yeah...we just call him the Defender.
....
So we just wait here, orrrr....?
Yeah..he'll do a fly-by in a minute here. Make sure the claws from his ship grab you in a good solid spot on your skull, or else your head is likely to come right off when he picks you up.

 

by pslock
11-05-03
I AM DA GOVERNATOR!! HERE TO TERMINATE ALL YOUR PROBLEMS!!! HAHAHAHA!! GET IT?? TERMINATE!!
Yay!!!
I WILL NOT TAKE ANY MONEY FROM SPECIAL INTERESTS!! THEY WILL NO LONGER OWN YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS!! IF THEY DO, I TERMINATE THEM!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!! GET IT??? IT WAS A MOVIE I WAS IN!! HA!
Yay!!! Votey time!!!
Fast Forward: December 4th 2003
Hi, Arnold..I'm a special interest. Can I donate money to you?
SURE!

 

by pslock
11-06-03
Ozzy Osbourne isn't Satanic, or even Anti-Christ. If you haven't noticed, he's always got a cross around his neck? Dark themes =/= evil.
currently worshipping : Hilary Duff
Most slutty singers are crap anyways...
And they have found evidence proving that Jesus did in fact walk the Earth.
I dress pretty normal. If not for all of my tats, I would look like anyone else.
today it was tight fittinf polo, dickies and and the force 1's

 

by pslock
11-06-03
Excuse me, I'm looking for Volume 3B-9 of New Girl Force Cyberpanty Super Plus Happiness Mega Force...where is it?
I have no clue. Look, why don't you just throw a wad of gum at this stack of anime DVDs and wherever it lands, just buy that. I'm sure it will provide ample whacking material just as good as another
Dude, that was pretty harsh.
Go dress as Goku or something and get the fuck out of here.

 

by pslock
11-06-03
Geez..you're extraordinarily mean. I just want the movies I like.
*sigh* Maybe you're right. I'm just burning out on stupid, rude, so-called otaku people coming in here.
*chuckle* Kinda like when all the guys dressed up as Bishiwishi-chan-ookii-san try to move in at the AnimeCons on all the girls dressed as Princess Vulva Insector Five!! *chuckle*
I'm going to have to kill you now.

 

by pslock
11-06-03
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS ICEBERG IS AN ADVENTURE WITH FUN!!!!
GOING IN THAT DIRECTION ONE COULD GET HURT..........ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT T>...
OVER THIS WAY! I SEE ANIMALS!
THEY LOOK UNFRIENDLY. GET A GUN.
YES.
I'VE HEARD STORIES ABOUT THESE ANIMALS.................NOT GOOD ONES EITHER....>>.. GET A GUN.

 

by pslock
11-06-03
Wow, it sucks being here in Iraq and losing...err..I mean not being able to fully win the war on stuff because we're short handed.
I agree. I think we need more help here...that way we can lose..er..I mean..win faster. After the people here love us and know that we're bringing them freedom.
Wait..I thought we were fighting to bring them really good deals on electronics.
Nope...read the pamphlets...it's all about freedom. Because in the Newspeak dictionary being conquered by a foreign power and forced to do everything their way is freedom.
Wait, I thought freedom was buying an SUV.
It's that too...it's a whole lot of things. Boy, you and I need to have a long discussion about this.

 

by pslock
11-06-03
THE E-BOMB IS COMPLETE!!!
WHAT ARE YOU ON ABOUT?
THE E-BOMB! IT'S LIKE A BOMB, ONLY IT DOESN'T HURT ANYONE, IT JUST DESTORYS ELECTRONIC EQUIPMENT!!!
DOESN'T HURT ANYONE????

 

by pslock
11-06-03
Due to the rampant, unintentional spelling errors in the comic, we who must star in them have decided to take the direct approach with the author.
Shape up or I shoot the puppy in the head.
..arf..

 

by pslock
11-07-03
I have been abandoned in favor of the Northern sensibilities.
These would seem to include creating insincere, repetitive, sitcoms and then broadcasting them to millions of people.
I prefer the Southern sensibilities. Like drinking. Oh..and slaves...those are pretty fun, too.

 

by pslock
11-07-03
When does Gigli come out?
Hehe...
Oh my god, you're fucking serious aren't you...

 

by pslock
11-07-03
I now present three ending panels from three entirely unrelated comics, all of which remain, as yet, unpublished.
Nope...
Aww..C'mon.. the snail liked you!!!
The experiment is complete!!
Oh no it isn't!! Look under your shoe!!
WHEE!! Back in time we go!!!
Up yours, you pretentious chicken.

 

by pslock
11-07-03
I'm ASIAN!!!! LOL!!! SUCKY!!
ME R LOVIN U 4 AWHILE NOW
SEE, THEY LOOK ASIAN SO ITS FUNNY. LOLOLOLOLROFL..BLAARRRGH!!
AHHHHH SOOOOOOOO!!!!

 

by pslock
11-07-03
UH OH. I THINK I AM INFECTED WITH A VIRUS THAT CAME STRAIGHT FROM THE SHADOWY WORLD OF TEENAGE HACKERS.
HOW WOULD YOU KNOW WHERE IT CAME FROM? IT COULD BE INDUSTRIAL SABOTAGE FOR ALL YOU KNOW!
I FIGURED THAT THE TXT FILE ATTACHMENT THAT READ "733T HAXX0RZ IZ US U WILL DYE!!" WAS A TIP OFF.
Oh..

 

by pslock
11-07-03
It is easier for a mixed(Saiyan and human) to achieve Saiyan stage than a full blooded Saiyan.
but goku is an idiot. even as an adult he is totaly obssesed with food.
It's the Kamekameha.
SSJ Goku would own Super Sonic
Vegeta has a flair for the melodramatic.
Hidden potential jumping you over to 10,000+ and after an hour or so to 23,000 while still keeping rising > training at 10X gravity.

 

by pslock
11-08-03
SOMEBODY NEEDS TO SHOW UP SOON AND FINISH WHAT THEY STARTED
IT MIGHT HELP IF YOU WASHED YOUR DICK ONCE AND AWHILE

 

by pslock
11-08-03
I FEEL ASLEEP
*whew* Thank god...now I can keep moving...
Ok..I should be able to hide in this truck for awhile... uh oh...wait.. THE TRUCK HAVE STARTED TO MOVE!
*vrrrroooommm*
Awesome! A cardboard box!

 

by pslock
11-08-03
*click...click...click*
.....
*click...click...click*
*kaff kaff*
*sounds of brain melting*
Jesus fucking Christ..how many dating and court shows does TV need during the day?? Oh wait...this is a good one...the judge called her "Stupid". tee-hee...

 

by pslock
11-09-03
DUHHRR!! I AM DUMB MUSLAM GUY WHO IS DUMB!
BOY AMERICANS SURE ARE STUPID!
*clackity clackity*
Yeah..that'll teach them foreigners. To mess with us! They weren't counting on Stripcreator!

 

by pslock
11-09-03
STARRING ADAM SANDLER!!!!
*insert fart noises* HEH...I FARTED!! DUDE, IT SMELLS!!! I SURE HOPE I DON'T SHIT ON SOMETHING TOO!!! ROFL!
CHAUNAKAH SONG!
*recycle shit from a 15 year-old skit that wasn't funny to begin with* HEH...NOW I'M THINKING ABOUT PISSING ON STUFF!!
END CREDITS!! REMEMBER, YOU CANNOT GET REFUNDS, SUCKERS!!
HAPPY XMAS PEOPLE!!!! *farrrrt*

 

by pslock
11-09-03
Oh, to be one with death....to summon the hand of Morpheus so that he may let me sleep in Earthly slumber and bleed upon my breast with his blood.
My soul is from the darkness and it will return to the darkness just as the ashes of my body will return to ashes. Oh, dark lords below you must hear my pleas for blackness to consume me...
*CLICK*
......
Grandma, what are you doing in my room with the lights out??

 

by pslock
11-09-03
THE JANE DOE STORY! A KIND OF COURAGE NOT EASILY FOUND!!
I'm brave and stuff in the face of battle and tremendous adversity.
Golly...you're right. Ooooh beauuutifulll for spaaacious skiiieess...
THE TEENAGE JANE DOE STORY! A KIND OF COURAGE NOT EASILY FOUND IN TEENS!!
I'm kidnapping you. Just accept it because I'm a total and complete bastard.
If I just wait here to get rescued, I'll be a national hero someday!
THE JANE DOE INTERVIEW!! A KIND OF COURAGE SEEN ONLY A FEW TIMES A WEEK ON NETWORK TV!
Are you afraid of prison?
Phhht..yeah right, like I'll ever see the inside of a prison, what with being a billionaire and all.

 

by pslock
11-09-03
As if your morning commute didn't suck enough...
Hey everybody!! It's time for me, Crazy Davey!!
And me! MR. INSAAAAANNE!! Say, Dave, you know that Monica Lewinsky chick?
Sure do, El Insano one!!! LOL! The one that likes cigars? LOL!
That's her, Dave! Say..know what? SHE'S FRIGGIN' FAT!!! ROFL!! *insert kooky stock sample noises form movies, music, etc..*
LOL!! That is SOOO true, man!! Well, we're gonna get CRAAAZY here now!!
That's right, Dave....we've got a 5 HOUR block of nothing but THE EAGLES!!! THAT'S RIGHT!!! YEAH!!

 

by pslock
11-10-03
.....
.....
.....
.....
C'mon, can't you lower the price, just for me??
Nope.

 

by pslock
11-10-03
Based 100% on a true story.
I need a refund on this CD. It's not the right one, someone got it for me by mistake. It's not opened or nothin' tho...
Ummm.....sir?
Yeah?
Based 100% on a true story.
The CD has been removed, the price tags are missing, and it looks like someone put saran wrap around it and melted it with a blow-dryer.
What's your point?

 

by pslock
11-11-03
Raising a child...the MODERN WAY!!!
Wow...this forest makes me feel insignificant in the grand scheme of things. That depresses me. I'm getting all emotional. Life sucks.
My god!!! DRUG HER, QUICK!!!
Later...in scientifically approved, offical (tm) therapy.
I haven't felt a geniune emotion in a long time. Therapy sucks.
Dear Christ in my pants!! NURSE, A LARGER SYRINGE, STAT*!!!!! (*STAT means "cool medical talk" in ER-speak)
Much later...in somewhere.
Hmmm..this forest reminds me of something. Hrrm..Oh well...
So, how much is it for half-an-hour?

 

by pslock
11-11-03
I think the game looks and plays great! One thing, though...why a character named Sodom?
I dunno. It just sounded cool. I mean...the best part is, it makes no sense! Matt just thought it up while he was high or something!
I still don't know.
Dude, in like 10 or 15 years it'll be some cult thing and gamers everywhere will REMEMBER Sodom!
You're probably right...heck, we're sold on it!!
COOL!

 

by pslock
11-11-03
Wow...is this game supposed to suck this bad? I mean, the controls are shit. I can't control the camera very well..where the hell am I??
Just keep playing...
Ooooh....I'm inside her -ass-, THAT'S why I couldn't see where I was going..
See? Isn't that cool? Up a woman's ASS, dude. In a GAME.

 

by pslock
11-11-03
*sniff sniff*
s'ok?
s'alright.

 

by pslock
11-13-03
At the death bed of Charles Foster Kane...
...*ROSEBUD!!!*...
What the hell is that supposed to mean?

 

by pslock
11-13-03
*sigh*
THE NOISE THINGY NO WORK!!! U SUCK! WAT IS TEH DEAL!! PORN NO LOADY
Sir, did you actually turn your computer on?
THIS HARD!!! HEAD PAIN!!! NOOOOO!!!
I think I can say your problems are resolved.
RESOUVELEDG?? HUH?? MAN NOT RUN!

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