All comics by seattlesque

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by seattlesque
11-20-04
I'm thinking of something red, with GREEN eyes, and small...
Me.
Lucky guess! This time I'm thinking of something small...and RED...with green eyes...!!
Me. Look, this game is boring. Let's see what those french lunar chickens are up to over there.
Live, from the moon.
Médaille en ce que je veux selon Scyess les jours !
Alors, si vous voulez remettre vos Scyess petits mots pour Milie ici, que je lui imprime la discute... merci !!!

 

by seattlesque
11-25-04
I read about this guy who spent thirty years of his life studying thermophilic bacteria.
These specialized micro-organisms can only be found near volcanic vents at the ocean floor.
So quit giving me a hard time. I've only been down here a month.
Move. You're blocking all the hot air.

 

by seattlesque
11-27-04
Old Yeller, despite being the best companion a young boy could have, I can no longer neglect the fact that you have gone rabid.
Growl. Foam. Snarl.
Au revoir, mon frere! [BANG]
With HBO and Skinimax password-locked, all that's left is the Childhood Trauma Network.
Aaaaah! Aaaaah! I missed! Now he's got my neck! Oh God, the blood! My jugular!
Although all things considered, I have to say this remake is hella better than the original.

 

by seattlesque
11-27-04
Biff, Dave didn't show up. You'll have to give Bob's eulogy.
But -- I didn't really like Bob very much. In fact, I hated his guts.
Well, just think of something.
"...and in closing, that's what I had to eat yesterday, and if Bob were still alive he'd probably have had eaten food of some kind as well."
Whoa. You really didn't win many friends in earthly life, did you Bob?
Hey Corpse boy! The sewage plant just called for you. It wants its smell back. Haw haw!

 

by seattlesque
11-29-04
So I figure I've made plenty of comics, and it's time to move on. Devote my life entirely to beer chasin' and skirt wearin'.
You might not have heard about this, but the government puts stripcreator regulars on their own ISP when they retire.
Our own ISP? You mean the kind with a customized portal-page every time you log in?
Worse. You'll also be used as a guinea pig for the next generation in 3-D rendered IM smileys.
Ouch. But my browser will still work, right?
Does the phrase "optimized device driver" mean anything to you?

 

by seattlesque
11-29-04
I can't believe it! I post the funniest comic ever, and no one acknowledges me! That's like, the three-thousandth time that's happened in a row.
What if this is like that story where the guy was invisible to everyone, but still going on with life as if he weren't, and only little boys could see him?
...but before going into the details, Mr. Jackson, I'd like to discuss my fee.

 

by seattlesque
12-02-04
I just don't know how we're ever going to get off this island of ex-Stripcreator regulars.
#2 won't let us leave. Seems like we've tried everything.
Remember the time I tried to win our freedom by challenging #2 to a math pun contest?
so...the HOLE is bigger than...the SUMMATION, oh, fuck, it's an infinite series with a discontinuity, so...
That was fun, but the Kaufmansion has much surface area for you to start cleaning with your tongue now.
Or what about the episode where we managed to radio for help, and dog-on-a-ball showed up?
Oh no! This is the end...we're surrounded!
What do you mean "WE", white man?

 

by seattlesque
12-05-04
Everyone says you're the best, but this is a different dynamic. You've got about 15 seconds to make each drink to keep up.
I can handle that kind of volume and STILL be the great advice-giving bartender I've always been.
Here's your beer. Dump her. Next!
Um, I'm gay...
Good to see you and glad you took my advice about going back to school. Next!
I was already in school when you told me that. Can I have my vodka tonic?

 

by seattlesque
12-05-04
Whoa! Sorry that happened, but I never got around to putting together a First-Aid kit. I was too lazy, and all I made is a Second-Aid kit.
Second-Aid kit?
There's an old mismatched sock. If it gets bled on I can throw it out. I've also got a half-full bottle of Campho-Phenique, which totally smells like medicine.
"Campho-Phenique?" The label is all greasy. I can't even tell what it's supposed to be for.
Also, there's some sugar and creamer packets. Not so useful now, but if there were a snowstorm, we could survive on sugar-cream powder.
In the future, I will avoid activities involving fireworks with stoners.

 

by seattlesque
12-07-04
Smoking is NOT Kool, unless you specifically smoke Kools(tm). A message brought to you by Americans for Trademark Law.
If someone tells you OR your friends that sex with people in furry costumes is a Crime, let me know and I'll Bite them.
So remember, advertisers: PSAs with anthropomorphism are 60% more distracting.
Dunno. All I really remember is meeting this giant, awesome Cigarette man.
Coyotes and crime... I still can't fathom the connection.

 

by seattlesque
12-07-04
This is DRUGS. This is your BRAIN on DRUGS. Any questions?
Umm...yes. Isn't that an EGG in a FRYING PAN?
Literalism is on the rise, and many of America's youth are unable to understand simple metaphors and abstractions.
While most high school students can't locate Europe on a map, half of those who CAN think Europe is two inches wide.

 

by seattlesque
12-08-04
Prophecy ordains that every century, the Shaman will find the One.
Destiny calls, Muffy. You and YOU ALONE can prevent forest fires!
The commercial said not to feed the bears...
I mentioned all this to the California wildfire crew, so they're taking the next hundred years off.
"...but Peyote isn't FOOD," he argued.

 

by seattlesque
12-09-04
Let me introduce myself. I'm Stew the Sewage Moose, here to remind you kids that you shouldn't Eat Raw Sewage!
Of course, unless you're in an isolation cell in a mental ward, and you haven't been fed for a week.
Take the pills or we'll torture you. A reminder from the Establishment.
Talking to yourself out loud. Imagining you're a moose. Anything to pass the time, really.

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