All comics by KajunFirefly

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by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
HO HO HO!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS, TOBOR BRING PRESENT!!!
hmmm, I'm not sure if I can trust you Tobor, you've always been a right bastard to me in the past!
NO, TOBOR GOOD NOW, LOOK!
I promise you, no assraping for a month!
aww Tobor you big lug, come here and give me a hug!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
HAR HAR, TOBOR LIKE CHRISTMAS NOW!!
thank God I'm at the front!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
well Tobor, thanks for all your help, you saved Christmas!
NO PROBLEM, TOBOR GO NOW AND CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS WITH SPANKLING!
uh, Tobor, I'm afraid I have some bad news, Bill Gates, he, well, he killed Spankling!
NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
I'm sorry dude!
RRRRAAAAARRRRRR BILL GATES!!! RRRAAARRRR!!!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
this'll be sweet, lesbian baby wrestling rocks!
pssst, Bill, down here
Hello? who's there?
oh God no, NO, NOOOO!!! AAAAAHHHH AAARRRGGGHH AAAAHHH AAIAIIIIIIAAAEEEE!!!
HAR HAR HAR!!!! TOBOR CORNHOLE YOU GOOD!!!!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
WHAT HAPPEN?
YOU WERE CORNHOLED TO DEATH BY TOBOR THE GREAT, SIR!
what?? that's impossible, I'm Bill motherfuckin' Gates!!
YES, THE MASTER'S BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR SOME TIME!!
oh fuck!
SODOMISE!!! SODOMISE!!! SODOMISE!!!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
WELL, THAT TIE UP ALL LOOSE ENDS!!
um...not exactly, look!
*sniff* spankling, my dear boy!
TOBOR VERY UNHAPPY NOW!! *sniff*

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
Just then, as the spirit of Christmas filled Tobor's iron chest, a miracle began to happen, all around them there was light and a strange swirling sound, they all stood in awe!
AAARRRGGHHH, WHAT HAPPENING???
???????

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
Hey, what happened???
SPANKLING, YOU ALIVE!!
why yes, yes I am, good to see you Tobor, I've missed you these winter months!
TOBOR STILL HAVE WARM PLACE FOR SPANKLING!!
ooh goody!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
look Rudolph, I'm sorry that we used to laugh and call you names!
we never let poor Rudolph join in any raindeer games!
it's ok man, all is forgiven!
I love you Rudolph!
I love you Prancer!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
hey man, look, I'm sorry that I used to masturbate on you when you were sleeping just to watch your face melt!
it's ok, I'm sorry I used to sit on your testicles at night so that you were sterile!
it's alright, I was going to get the snip anyway, you saved me money, I get away with it scot free!!
um, not exactly!
what do you mean?
I'm pregnant!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
any jobs going for a very sorry Saint Nick?
aww come here ya big cuddly bear!
I'm sorry Rudolph, I should never have sold out and shat in your toaster!
THAT WAS YOU???
hey man, you think you got it bad, I didn't know there were Pop Tarts already in the damn thing, I've been shitting a hot Strawberry filling for weeks!
ho ho ho!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
Hey Bill, look, I'm sorry for all the ass-forkin', it is Christmas after all
yeah, I'm sorry for Windows 98!
No No, don't be, we were cursed with 3.1, Heaven got 98, their database crashed and half the new-guys got sent down here! Mother Theresa is still burning in the pit!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

 

by KajunFirefly
11-29-01
and so our Christmas tale comes to an end...
there's only one thing left to say...
God bless us, every-one!

 

by KajunFirefly
12-02-01
yeah so, Bill Gates has taken over from Santa, what are we gonna do?
wait a fucking minute, this all sounds horribly familiar! This already happened remember? Spankling came, died for our sins, then Tobor's Christmas spirit brought him back to life!
so, we just wait around for Tobor and Spankling to save us?
Pretty much!
Aqua Tobor and Wirthling?

 

by KajunFirefly
12-04-01
'Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back' Is the worst piece of shit I've seen in a long while. I expected more from Kevin Smith, despite his earlier triumphs, I now hate him!
don't you think that by now he's earned the right to go out and make a film purely for the money?
Chasing Amy, Clerks and Dogma were all artistic gambles that got ripped apart by critics, the only film that he made any money on was Mallrats which was moronic at best..
with films like American Pie and Road Trip making more than triple what he made on Dogma, I think it's about time Smith claimed a chunk of the money he's owed!
...
HA!

 

by KajunFirefly
12-04-01
Hi and welcome back to "Impaired Vision MatchMaker", I'm your host Cassandra Biggles and tonight we'll see how our love birds Spankling and Kelly got on last week!
So Spankling what did you think when you first saw Kelly?
At first I thought she was great, the hottest thing I'd ever seen, but the strange thing is, once CC81 was over, she seemed to change.
and what about the date itself?
It started out alright at first, but when we got to the meal, it started to get strange....

 

by KajunFirefly
12-04-01
shit, I fucked up the title of the comic...
I wish I wasn't so anal about this type of thing..
but here we go...I'll change it!

 

by KajunFirefly
12-04-01
Hi and welcome back to "Impaired Vision MatchMaker", I'm your host Cassandra Biggles and tonight we'll see how our love birds Spankling and Kelly got on last week!
So Spankling what did you think when you first saw Kelly?
At first I thought she was great, the hottest thing I'd ever seen, but the strange thing is, once CC81 was over, she seemed to change.
and what about the date itself?
It started out alright at first, but when we got to the meal, it started to get strange....

 

by KajunFirefly
12-04-01
Everyone in the restaurant was staring at us and making comments...
Hey look at that guy, his date looks like a man!
Yeah, you think "she" would at least shave "her" armpits!
so, uh, you come here often?
I don't get out much!
There's a horrible smell of sweat coming from that table!
Ha, thank fuck I didn't end up with that ugly bitch!

 

by KajunFirefly
12-04-01
I shouldn't have let her choose the film...
so, what film do you want to see?
I was thinking we could watch "Priscilla Queen of the Desert" then "Birdcage" or "In and Out"?
Every time Guy Pearce came on screen there was a noticable bulge in her trousers!
There's still some popcorn at the bottom if you want to reach down and get it!
I just kept my hands in my pants to make sure that nothing happened.

 

by KajunFirefly
12-04-01
I contemplated a goodnight kiss.
well, thank you for a good night, would you like to come in?
Um, no thanks, I'll just stay here!
Then I noticed the name on the door said "MR K Perm"
ok then, goodnight!
yes.....good night!
I had a lucky escape!
*phew*

 

by KajunFirefly
12-04-01
So, you don't think it'll work out then?
YOU SET ME UP WITH A MAN!!!
Ok, lets welcome our luvly lady, Kelly!!
Hi Cassandra!
Now Kelly, how did you think the date went?
Well, when I first saw Spankling I was a little nervous, but I liked him. The date however...

 

by KajunFirefly
12-04-01
Everyone in the restaurant made stupid little comments..
Hey look at that guy over there, hasn't he ever heard of wearing a sweater?
yeah, and why has he got his hand in his pants?
So...you come here often?
actually I don't get out much.
hasn't that guy heard of hygiene? There's a time and a place to play with your nipples.
can I play with YOUR nipples?

 

by KajunFirefly
12-04-01
He seemed a little gay, I tried to pick films I thought he'd like...
so, what film do you want to see?
I was thinking we could watch "Priscilla Queen of the Desert" then "Birdcage" or "In and Out"?
His hands were in his pants the whole time, he kept looking at me when Guy Pearce was on camera...
he didn't even take them out to eat some popcorn...
There's still some popcorn at the bottom if you want to reach down and get it!

 

by KajunFirefly
12-04-01
I stayed at my friend KK Perm's house so that he wouldn't find out where I lived...
well, thank you for a good night, would you like to come in?
Um, no thanks, I'll just stay here!
He rejected my offer of a night cap...
ok then, goodnight!
yes....good night!
despite his flaws, I felt rejected.
damn, I thought I was gonna get my nuts tonight.

 

by KajunFirefly
12-04-01
so Kelly, do you think there's a future in your relationship?
if he took his hands out of his pants long enough to pay for his meal, or the cinema, then maybe...
well there you have it folks, not everyone is lucky in love, tune in next week for another match-up!
I've got to go now, I have a hot date!
CASSANDRA, TOBOR GOT XMAS PRESENT FOR YOOOOUUU!!!

 

by KajunFirefly
12-05-01
hey Kevin, your latest movie was a piece of shit, having sat on my ass and watched your other films repeatedly, I now feel that YOU owe ME a good film, you haven't lived up to it, you fucking suck!
yeah, whatever, wanna be in my next film?
Since the Internet has given every moron an anonymous voice, I, "Andy" have to tell you that I now wish you dead and wish you had never been born you fucking retard!
wow, you really put a lot of thought into your opinion, you didn't just wait for me to fuck up so that you could distance yourself from all the other Smith fans out there did you? Wanna be in a movie?
on the set of Andy and Tinman's homoerotic mishaps:
woah dude, you like, smell of ass!
well, I did spend last night licking yours....... WOOPSIE!!!!!!

 

by KajunFirefly
12-07-01
???
hey man, how come you deleted the link to me from your profile?
because you made a strip I didn't like!
yeah so, lots of my strips suck, but surely I make up for ONE bad strip with about 10 good ones?
no, sorry, you have to be consistently great or I'll lose interest and move on to the next trend!

 

by KajunFirefly
12-07-01
Brad and Max
Hey Max, you know, your Cowboy Physics strip has caused quite a stir, everyone's going crazy for it!
What? Cowboy Physics?
Well, them rotor turbines ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!
What the fuck was I talking about?

 

by KajunFirefly
12-09-01
ARRRGGHH RELLIK WILL AMPUTATE YOU!!
man, you've changed, I remember when it used to be all about the nuts, now your into this whole world domination thing!
I just got my footsoldier training certificate, I'll hold classes at night for squirrels who want to join my army, the world will be mine, ha ha ha!!
you fucking ass, squirrels aren't nocturnal, your army will suck! That's as bad as your idea for "Earmuffs for the hard of Herring"
ha ha, but I've developed a new strain of squirrel DNA which will create a legion of Ãœber squirells!
yeah good luck

 

by KajunFirefly
12-14-01
RAAAAAR, TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU NOW!!
oh shit!
well? what are you waiting for?

 

by KajunFirefly
12-14-01
HO HO HO!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS BOYS AND GIRLS!!!

 

by KajunFirefly
12-15-01
someone's been accessing my e-mails, I tell you, it's a conspiracy, they're out to get me!
who are "they"?
Saxa!
the salt people?
They make SALT now?

 

by KajunFirefly
12-18-01
...I bent her over the table and I fucked her brains out, she was screaming my name!!
look Gareth, would you mind not telling me every detail of your sex life? it makes me uncomfortable!
why's that Oli? because your a virgin? eh? is that what it is? V_I_R_G_I_N??
no, I'm a homosexual Gareth...... I, uh, I_love_you!

 

by KajunFirefly
12-21-01
*fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap*
*fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap fap*
Hey, aren't you guys forgetting the biscuit?
eh?
biscuit?

 

by KajunFirefly
12-21-01
Kajun, take a seat, there's something I've just got to tell you, I'm...... YOUR_FATHER!!
no, that's not true, you're lying!
I'm sorry son, I should have told you earlier, your mother accidentally sat on one of my used biscuits, and, you were born!
wait, you mean all this time I've been having_sex_with GRAN?

 

by KajunFirefly
12-25-01
Merry
Mother
Fucking
Christmas
Every
One!!!

 

by KajunFirefly
12-25-01
what appears to be the problem officer?
you were doing 90mph in a 40 zone, I'm gonna need to take your name sir.
my name? Why, I'm Saint Nicholas don't you know? good-old Chris Cringle? Santa_Claus?
very amusing sir, if you'd like to just get into the back of the car, we can sort this out down at the station.
This is all my fault, I shouldn't have been giving him a festive blow-job!
save me Legolas!

 

by KajunFirefly
12-28-01
1967:
o/ A, B, C, it's easy as 1, 2, 3, oooh! o/
1982:
o/ I'm bad, I'm bad, you know it, c'mon, oooh! o/
2001:
o/ baby, be mine, everything is worth it baby, oh girl, ooooh! o/

 

by KajunFirefly
12-31-01
so, this is Kajun's 200th comic then?
yup, and it's his last one of 2001!
well at least it'll be remember for something.
it sure as hell isn't going to be remembered for the punchline!

 

by KajunFirefly
1-01-02
shit man, someone's burgled the flat, I woke up and everything was gone, the only thing here was a card that said "Mr_E_Perm"
"Mr E Perm?", hmm, this sounds like a job for.... CAPTAIN PALINDROME!
"Mr E Perm" eh? My arch nemesis, seems he's returned, I thought I destroyed him up on Mt. Nabban, I wonder what he's up to.
Uh, I don't really care, I just want my stuff back, I got a bunch of dealers after my blood, heroin doesn't grow on trees you know!
and so Captain Palidrome and his sidekick fuck set out to once again save the world from Mr E Perm!
aaaah, im flyeeing!

 

by KajunFirefly
1-01-02
waht ar we dooing in thsi cubpoard catpain palnidorme?
sssh fuck, I want to find out what Mr_E_Perm is up to, his gang are in the next room.
so, the plan is, we steal all of Tony Blair's underwear when he's at his 2:00pm meeting!
yes, and when Captain Palidrome comes to his aid, we kill him, ha ha ha ha ha!
so, it's a fight they want eh?
no, acshually I think it's patns they waant!

 

by KajunFirefly
1-01-02
Thank God you're here Captain Palidrome, all of my underwear has been stolen, I don't know what's going on!
Don't worry Mr Blair, I know who's behind it, but it's ok, I have a plan!
ah ha! just as I thought, Mr E Perm's henchmen!
come with us Captain Palidrome, Mr E Perm wants to see you!
and so, fuck and Captain Palidrome are held prisoner:
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog
you always say that!

 

by KajunFirefly
1-01-02
come with us Captain, Mr E Perm wants to see you now!
so, Mr E Perm, we meet again, what are you after this time?
nothing Captain, I just want you dead, and this time nothing will stop me!
?
nto so faast!

 

by KajunFirefly
1-01-02
in Mr E Perm's lair:
you canot kill catpan palnidrome, becouz, hee is yoor bruther!
WHAT??
27 yeers afgo, 2 bruthers wur bron, Kevin adn Eric, yoo wer spreted beecaus yoor mum was rayped and didnot watn to keep you!
all this time I've been fighting with my twin brother? I never knew!
neither did I, tell me fuck, how can you be sure of this information?
becauz Kevin, im yoor daad!

 

by KajunFirefly
1-01-02
wow Kevin, this has been an eye-opener, now that I know you're my brother, I feel I should lead a life of good, I'm sorry for trying to kill you!
that's ok Eric, I always knew there was some good in you, although, finding out fuck is my dad has left me feeling a bit weird!
if yoo thinkk thatz bad, Spankling's yuor mum!
WHAT???
THE END!
um.....where's my stuff?

 

by KajunFirefly
1-03-02
49950!
[refresh]
49951!
[refresh]
I have no idea how Andy and Gabe do this!

 

by KajunFirefly
1-03-02
hey, whattup dogg?
sssssshhhhhh, any minute now and we'll be legends....
why? what are we doing?
we're going to get comic 50,000 and be hailed as Kings among men!
don't you mean Queens?
oh, uh, yeah, "Queens", heh!

 

by KajunFirefly
1-03-02
so, what is it about comic 50,000 that's so great? surely it's the content that matters, not the number!
well, yes, but it's also the ability to gloat for about 3 or 4 months, that's pretty cool!
so, what are we gonna do when it arrives? jump out and shout hooray? do you have a joke planned?
um, no, I thought we could just stand here and say stuff like "so, this is comic 50,000 then?"
Kajun?
listen you, if I'm gonna get comic 50,000, you're damn right I'm gonna be in it, now, fuck off!

 

by KajunFirefly
1-03-02
well Andy, I'm gonna get comic 50,000! you will fail like you have done in the past!
you do realise that now that you've made comics promising to get 50k, you're gonna have to make sure you get it, or look like a moron to everyone else?
if I try and get 50k and fail, are you going to mock me?
of course I am, and there's no way you're going to get it, just give up and go home!
hey Brad, if I slip you a tenner, will you make sure I get comic 50,000
you'll have to do better than a tenner to beat Gabe's offer, donkeys don't come cheap these days you know!

Showing page 4.

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