All comics by Shadore

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by Shadore
6-21-03
Hey
Hey
Hey
I said hey
Hey
Fucking Harlem

 

by Shadore
6-21-03
i just really hate everyone
hate. if you are reading this, i ,in fact, hate you
I hate using too many commas
I hate killing indians
Born to be Alive
Really? I don't
Me neither

 

by Shadore
6-22-03
Hey billy, when's the bus get here?
The same time it always does you diaphram dawg dildo
That was pretty fucking weak dude
I think we missed the bus

 

by Shadore
6-22-03

 

by Shadore
6-22-03
Reloaded on IMAX was scrumtrulescent
Well...the parts between the mindless babblin' sure looked better
What's the deal with movies now? The first one is cool like Matrix 1 or Fellowship Of the Ring, and then the sequel spends its entire time on stupid dialogue that is supposed to be "oh so deep"
Ex #2: Attack of the clones. Both it and reloaded spend like 29 minutes with "chancellors" and "emessaries" yammering away about stupid shit when we know itll all be decided by a guy with a sword
And I'd say at least we have Guy Ritchie movies but "Swept Away" was..yeah. And Tarantino..."Kill Bill"? Female ninjas? god
They are remaking the Punisher. Seriously. It's time for a trip down to Marvel hQ and stick both my fists in Stan Lee's old fucking senile ass

 

by Shadore
8-25-03
Oh man I just set up a date with a cute girl! Yessss!
I fucked her
But I haven't even told you her name
Fuck man, I don't remember their names, but I've fucked her
Well was the sex any good?
I fucked her

 

by Shadore
8-25-03
The first rule of Stripcreator Club is you do not talk about Stripcreator Club
Ever been to Stripcreator?
What did I just say?
The second rule of Stripcreator Club is you do not make inside jokes @ Stripcreator Club
Because Billy and Katie are ASSHOLES. HAHAHAHA
You are impotent and i want to eat your flesh
The third rule of Stripcreator Club is you do not talk about Stripcreator Club
Homestar runner is funny
Not really.

 

by Shadore
8-25-03
(coughs impatiently)
Oh am I supposeted to give you a tip because you carried my luggage out to my car?
uhhh
Because last I checked THAT"S WHAT FUCKING BELLBOYS DO YOU COCK SUCKER, GO WORK A RETAIL JOB WHERE YOU MAKE SHIT AND NO TIPS ASS FUCK
I'm a whore you moron, I'd waiting for the money before we fuck.
Cool, come on in.

 

by Shadore
8-25-03
Beyonce is like the sexiest black woman alive (Sorry Mariah)
I concur. That video of Crazy in Love gets me crazy in the mayo jar
Even when she's in that shirt and not wearing a bra it's all good.
I know! And chicks not wearing bras is as attractive as belly button piercings (ie not very)
I sometimes dream I'm cuddling in bed with Shakira
W3rd. if therre is hotter ass on teh planet than Shakira, FUCK IT. WE are talking break the laws, jump the gate, rock out w/ cock out here people. unf unf unf

 

by Shadore
8-26-03
I despise when women want to stay in bed after sex
I know, it's like laying down next to a used wet sponge.
Exactly! And the post-sex smell is rank
I know! And not to point fingers, but when i beat off it never smells that bad so....
This is how Sex Ed should really be taught in schools. Fuck the "Care Kit"

 

by Shadore
9-24-03
Riding the bus fucking sucks the big wet floppy distended labya
Sometime there's hot University chicks on it though
Maybe I can't see them because of the fat motherfucker sitting next to me who smells like Roseanne Barr's toilet bowl after a rousing game of "Taco Bell Frenzy"
University chicks suck anyways though. They don't do shit on weeknights because they might not get a 9.8 or whatever the fuck. So you graduate with honors and become a real estate agent, fuck off.
I can hear people fucking next door to me. The chick also drives a camaro
It's time for some bananna in the tailpipe action. In more ways than 3.

 

by Shadore
9-24-03
What do the ladies like to drink in this bar?
Body shots
Ok
Hey baby, can i get you a body shot?
Tee hee. Sure
THink porno
(Spurt)
NOT THE FACE!

 

by Shadore
9-24-03
I can't understand this phone bill @ all
Yeah, heh, me and the boys took round robins on "Dial a Porn Puffin Stuffin" a few weeks back
Why am I always the last to know these things?
Hey guys remember when Steve shoved the phone up his ass and got it to ring the Ghostbusters theme?
I am seriously reconsidering our living arrangements
By the way, the dog is now walking kinda bow legged. You know how it is. w3rd

 

by Shadore
9-24-03
Female Security Guards
That don't carry guns.
Why don't I just get Micheal Jackson to babysit my kids too?
Seriously, wtf.

 

by Shadore
9-24-03
I clicked "yes" to meet myself on HotOrNot
Did you get a reply?
Yeah, it said that i was "cute" and that they like bowling and Reese Witherspoon movies
LOL. Just meet and if they are ugly just say you are only looking for friends
What, no sportfucking?
Sorry, forgot about the sport fucking.

 

by Shadore
9-28-03
MAN I JUST READ SOME STRIPCREATORS WHERE THE GUY MAKES FUN OF EX GIRLFRIENDS AND THEY AREN'T FUNNY AT ALL
Seriously folks, I promise I will never do another of those, some of the guys here use this fucking shit as a blog.
No shit. HAY GUYS, insted of writing witty little comics about shit you DIDN'T say to your girlfriends but WANTED to but you couldn't speak cuz you watch too much Buffy The Vampire slayer != comics
The ironic thing is this is a post about posts we dislike.
I think that's how the Third Reich got started
Sauerkrauts

 

by Shadore
12-06-03
So..suicide?
My biggest fear of death is that you die right? And then a split second later you awake in some slave camp in the year 5000 where aliens raise the dead to work as..slaves
My fear is that Rosie O Donnell brings you back as some sex slave like she did to Dan Ackroid in "Exit to Eden"
I don't think he was dead in that movie
No, but I was
Seriously, i would give my left nut to see the Ghostbusters bust in on the set of Aliens Versus Predator and have Egon throw the trap out and snare an alien + predator. or a predalien!

 

by Shadore
12-06-03
Beer is a funny thing
Explain
No women looks good drinking the actual beer. They are a lot easier to with once the beer takes effect, but the physical act of seeing a woman drink beer does nothing me. At all.
I have to agree. To similar effect: Shots. They gulp it down and either A. make a face like they just got punched in the gut or B. Don't flinch at all which totally emsacualtes me on the spot
So we need some sort of bridge to overcome the bad to the good.
So I bought this bat.

 

by Shadore
12-06-03
If I had a gun, I'd shoot it
If I had a knife, I'd swing it
If I had a girl, I'd fuck her
If I had a dog, I'd beat it
don't copy me
sorry

 

by Shadore
12-06-03
There's been a lack of Avril comics + general funnies to this online comic in th last little bit
I'm going to come right out and say it. I've been depressed as fuck, haven't been laid in a year+ and bashin on Avril just isnt as funny as it used to be
jesus
yup
I'd still fuck her asshole till it bled over my face though
Was the bloody assfucking ever in question here? jesus

 

by Shadore
12-06-03
Let me indugle myself here for a second people
YOU ARE NOT A GAMER IF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND. KICKING MY ASS ONLINE AND THEN WATCHING A MOVIE SNUGGLING UP TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND DOES NOT MAKE YOU A GAMER
Jerking off to facial porno vids + lamenting Carriers rushes make you a gamer
I'm a gamer

 

by Shadore
12-06-03
I would like to date your daughter who goes to the University
Son, do you know how shitty it is to date a girl who is going through post secondary?
Uh well...I just thought we'd go eat some KFC, watch a movie, and she'd jerk me off in the back seat of my Jetta
Goddamn it son, University girls don't do that shit! You gotta listen to how tough but enjoyable all their education is! You gotta pretend like you give a fuck about their funny male friends
Yeeesh. Count me out
Good thinking boy. Say...do you like Gladiator movies?

 

by Shadore
12-06-03
Look at life as if it were a glass of water. That is: If you have your own car and drive around to places, your life is half full
If you take the bus
Your life is empty.

 

by Shadore
12-06-03
Ever had your heart broken by a girl?
Hard to say. I've spend way too much time thinking about them though thats for sure
Imagine if you'd spent all that timeat the gym
I'd definitly see more cocks that for sure
Not really, I've seen the girls you date.
This interview is over

 

by Shadore
12-06-03
Whats with chicks and not giving eye contact?
If you pretend their boobies are eyes, it's love at first sight
But I mean come on...you work at Famous Players. The least you could do is look me in the eye when you rip the ticket
You didn't have that prostehtic cock on your head again did you?
....no
you did, didnt you

 

by Shadore
12-06-03
so i did a search on my name and it turns out I am one sexy ass bitch
Whoa! COol!!
Yup
So...uh what exactly did you tpe in teh search field?
Shadore + Gillian Anderson circa X-Files season 1-5
Why must the truth always be dug up?

 

by Shadore
12-07-03
50 cent
In da club
unf unf
unf unf
unf unf
g unit

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