All comics by possums

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by possums
2-17-04
GORGOLATH WILL CONQUER THE PLANET!!!! GOOOOORG!!!!
o/ Gorgolath will conquer the planet ah-ah-ah-aaaah! o/
YES!!! GORGOLATH IS KIIING!!!! I AM THE MASTER!!!!
o/ Ava mater, esus crisus. Ava mater esus criiisus ooooooh oh oh o oh!!! o/
NO SINGING THE OMEN.
o/ Sorry boss! o/

 

by possums
2-18-04
Hey, I got a secret.
WHAT ARE IT, FABIO?!?
Horse.

 

by possums
2-18-04
Wow! I'm so glad I'm going to be deciding the show to be the replacement for Angel!
Yeah, you just need a show.
Any suggestions?
Try a reality T.V. show!
...welcome back to "Necrophiliac," the reality t.v. show for the WHOLE family!

 

by possums
2-19-04
GROOOT!!! I AM THE PHALLUS OF SATAN!!!! WORSHIP MEE!!!!
Not so fast! I challenge you to a Religimon duel!!!
HITLERSQUE, GO!!!
JESUSCHU, GO!!!
Hitler, Hitler.
Jeeesus! Jeeeeeesus!!

 

by possums
2-20-04
IS YOU BE A SERIAL KILLER?
Yep.
EEEP!!!

 

by possums
2-20-04
GHOOOOT!!! I IS HOBEAST MALLOY!!!!!! I IS TERRORIZE A MANY CHILDREN!!!!
SKEEEEEET!!!!!
I WILL EAT YOU SOUL!!!!
No! Please! Not my soul! I've only got six payments left on it!!!
And so HoBeast Malloy stole little Jimmy's soul. Awwwwww.
GHOOOOOOT!!!!!
I IS BE A ZOMBEE!!!

 

by possums
2-20-04
HELLO, MANY CHILDERN. I IS BE THE EQUUS. SOMETIMES WHEN I IS THE CHEW OF FAT, I ARE GAIN WEIGHT.
SO MAYBE YOU IS JOIN THE CHRISTIAN COALITION FUND? LOOK AT THIS DYING BABY.
What did you say?
SAVE A MANY DYING BABY TODAY. CALL A CHRISTIAN COALITION FUND, TWO DAY!!!

 

by possums
2-20-04
Use your imagination. He's a herion needle, okay?
A-hoy hoy, childrens! I'm Herry the heroin needle! I'll give you gold!
Many people will tell you to shoot me up. Like this young chap!
SKKEEEEEEET!!!!
Don't listen to him. He's a christmass tree!
DAMM HOOTIN' I AM!!!!

 

by possums
2-20-04
Once upon a time in Veii....
Giggletinks! It's me, Cooglescoot!
You're fat and ugly.
Giggletinks! It's me, Cooglescoot!
You're fat and ugly.
Giggletinks! It's me, Cooglescoot!
You're fat and ugly.

 

by possums
2-20-04
I'm Dolly the dolphin! I'm gonna eat your kids!
As a matter of fact, I just ate one right now!
Toot!

 

by possums
2-21-04
Hello there, young lass! If you engage in sexual intercourse with me, I will give you 500 dollars!
Ying! I'm up for that!
Later...
Hoo hoo! You wet my whistle!
I'm rich!
Wait a second... this is Monopoly money!!

 

by possums
2-21-04
reet da deet da deet da deet da deet da deet da deet da deee! WAAAH.
Here I go driving my Jalopy!
reet da deet da deet da deet da deet da deet da deet da deee! WAAAH.
You will be a Christmass tree....
SNORK.
reet da deet da deet da deet da deet da deet da deet da deee! WAAAH.
I'll trade you a trick for a magic vase!
What's in it for me?

 

by possums
2-21-04
I am the director of "Jalopy Man," Possums A. Sinderbvght. I'm here to explain it.
I thought of it when I heard the music to "Les Yeux Sans Visage," and I thought that the shitty music was better suited for a movie about a man who drives a jalopy and hypnoitzes trees.
As for the dolphin.... go fuck yourself.

 

by possums
2-21-04
Mummy, can I have some pancakes?
We have to wait for Daddy sweetheart. He will be home any minute.
3 Hours Later
Where's Daddy? I want pancakes!
Where the hell is he?
Finally...
OJ, where the fuck have you been?
Findin' the real killer!

 

by possums
2-21-04
Mummy, can I have some pancakes?
We have to wait for Daddy sweetheart. He will be home any minute.
3 Hours Later
Where's Daddy? I want pancakes!
Where the hell is he?
OJ, where the fuck have you been?
I IS MAKE YOU A MANY PANCAKE!!!!

 

by possums
2-21-04
Mummy, can I have some pancakes?
We have to wait for Daddy sweetheart. He will be home any minute.
3 Hours Later
Where's Daddy? I want pancakes!
Where the hell is he?
Meanwhile...
All your pancakes are belong to me!

 

by possums
2-21-04
1. The baby's Jack-In-the-Box no longer plays "Pop Goes the Weasel" and instead plays the score from Rosemary's Baby.
La la la laaaa la la la la laa la la laa laaaa....
2. The microwave has a new setting: "Hell's Inferno."
I think I overcooked it...
3. You found boinky33 in your closet.
What the hell?!
*boink!*

 

by possums
2-21-04
4. Your spouse took all those "Help from Jesus" tapes away and replaced them with copies of "The Omen," and "Funny Girl."
Honey! Look what I brought home!
5. You could swear that you saw Tom Araya in your son's room.
Uh.... boy?
RAINING BLOOD!!! FROM A LACERATED SKY!!!!
6. Your dog isn't so friendly any more.
Grrr.....

 

by possums
2-21-04
7. You've been getting odd telemarketer calls.
BAHHH!!! BUY THE SPAWN OF SATAN TODAY FOR JUST 19.95!!! GHOARGHH!!!!
8. Remember those copies of "Funny Girl" your spouse bought? You were compelled to watch one!
Hello, gorgeous.
9. That donkey you were keeping in the back has taken a turn for the weird.
GNEHEHE!!! HAS YOU A MANY CORBIUS??

 

by possums
2-21-04
Oh my god do you have a dollar I think you're a hick mabye you should talk to me about my clothes I have nice clothes where are your dollars huh what huh?
Yeew tawkin ta me, son?

 

by possums
2-22-04
Hmmm.... I gotta think of a new show...
Maybe you should try the polar opposite of Angel.
Introducing DEVIL. Weeknights on the WB.
I SHALL FEAST ON YOU ENTRAILS.
GHOARAGHAGOH ARAGHAORAGHO ARAGOAHG AORHGA!!!!

 

by possums
2-22-04
Hey, Mark, do you think you could think of an idea that would be both practical and popular?
Hmmm.....
I got it!
And now back to Frogger with that annoying WB Frog.
The dub dub dub dub dubbaya AAAUAGGH!!!!

 

by possums
2-22-04
Well, folks, my dog died yesterday.
I'm so grief-stricken... *sob*...... *sob*...
Any money you want to send to "Buddy's Funeral Fund" would be mighty helpful. Thanks, god bless, 9/11, terrorist, Al Qaeda.

 

by possums
2-22-04
Battle One: V.S. Green Slime on the Airplane
HYOOOOOO!!!!
WAAAAGAAN!!!!
*consternation* *fighting* *penguins*
Excuse me young ruffians, but do you have...
DIE NAZI SCUM!!!!
SCOON!!!!

 

by possums
2-22-04
Baby.
wah wah wah woooo....
I have a son! 28 Skidoo!!!
Adult.
28 skidoo!
28 skidee!
Old man.
Sleep with mee.....
Go to hell, ya old coot.

 

by possums
2-22-04
Oooh... ahhh....
Oooooh... Hey! What the-
EEEEEEEK!!!!
EEEEEEEEK!!!!!

 

by possums
2-22-04
Meth
Hey man you wanna go snort some snort some snort some OOOH baby you better believe it do you like my hair I think I'm Robert Evans ahoy ahoy!
Pot
Dude.
Ecstasy
He's pretty cute...

 

by possums
2-22-04
A la "Rambo"
AAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!
EAT BULLETS NAZI SCUM!!!!!

 

by possums
2-22-04
Confound it, Jezebel! Yeew done ate my bean curd, hasnt ya?
Wuz it ta yeew?
I'z gon cut tcha!
Naw y'aint.
DIEEE!!!!11!!!!

 

by possums
2-23-04
BUY MY HAAAAAAM!!!
Never. Satan is on my side.
WHAAAAAT?!?!? BUY MY HAAAAAAM!!!
Cluttopret!
I WILL KEEL YOU!!!
*ghasp!*

 

by possums
2-24-04
Garfield, you are too fat. Go lose some weight.
Fuck you man.
That's it! In to the ocean you go!
No wait!!!
Soon...
What brings you down here, Nermal?
Some guy named Everyone on the Planet wanted to drown me.

 

by possums
2-25-04
He's pretty hot...

 

by possums
2-25-04
YOU, sir, are an antelope.
What's your problem, man?
My fingers are tingling, that's what!
Jeez. You should go to a clinic.
You should go to a clinic... a clinic for IDIOTS!
You're a jerk.

 

by possums
2-26-04
GIMMA NUTS.
No.
PLEEZ?
No.
HOBO.

 

by possums
2-26-04
You lousy dissenter! You teeth-dangling sack of stuff! I'll give you what's for!
Never, you cruddy behind intercoursee! I have the final say in this predicament!
Ow! My area of reproductive organs! You stuff-eater!
Hah! I shall kick you in the rear! You shall feel my wrath!
What's the deal with all this cleaned up dialogue?
Go to heck, you fool!

 

by possums
2-26-04
You dog fucking asswad! Go shit on my ass, you fucknut!
Assmaggot! Fucker of spelenos! I shall attack you with my ass of death!
Fucknugget Mc Assdoozle! Your ass can shave my nutsack with its pubescent shitfuck! FUCKER!!
Fuck off, you assmachine nut suckerfuck!
Shitheaded assmagoo! I'll fuck your cat!
Penis.

 

by possums
2-26-04
Well, isn't this a nice cute! Your head a splode!
What?
Ho! This isn't what the plan is! Status is clitical!
You racist hobag!
I am not lacist! How dale you!
Bastard.

 

by possums
2-26-04
Any time is a fine day! I never thought I'd be frying over a jungre!
What's your fucking problem, man! So I'm asian. Big deal!
Posture: be that as it may!
I hate you!
Swarms of winter gnats are still around!
RRGH!!!

 

by possums
2-27-04
Theme Song: "Fighting the evil engolish demons today! Somebody knows that his dog is exploding away!
Has a hug!
"Finding yourself and paying the government cash!"
I shall dry you like a prune!
"Don't forget to wash your doggy's face."
Tissues Time!

 

by possums
2-27-04
ENGRISH MAN... A WAY!!!!!
You do not rule this planet, English robot!
O, hest, Mortigo! Thou shalt take damage to your anus!
Blow superior! Danger sign twelve!

 

by possums
2-27-04
Listen you sack of shit. I'm telling you one more time. GIVE ME MY BONE.
It would be great if you could talk, Buffo! Then I could understand everything you say!
That's it. You're going down, man.

 

by possums
2-27-04
Another day... another hit. Life drags on.
Please! Please! I'll pay you the money.
I don't even care if this fat schmuck lives or dies.
Please! PLEASE!!!

 

by possums
2-27-04
MOOOOOOOSKI!!!!
Kyzobich lyzonken, petsky nôz!
MOOOOOOSKI!!!!
Kylobint zakaria, nyzonden? Wodzie a kabazia.
MOOOOOOOSKI!!!!
Wodzie... kippabatae.

 

by possums
2-27-04
WOOOO!! DAY OFF!!!!
Yes. We shall have fun!
What the fuck is that?
Beats me.

 

by possums
3-01-04
Moderately
Ohh... Pie makes a man a man! Twice as much as barley or ham! Without his apple or peach, a man is just a leech!
Ohhhh... pie makes a man a man! More so than Miso or jam!
Without all his pastry treats, a man will fall from his feets.
Pie makes a man a man a man... A.... MAAAAAN!!!

 

by possums
3-01-04
HOLLA, MANY A DOG! WELCOME TO THE FIRST ANUSUAL POSSIE AWARDS!!! REEEEHOOOO!!!!
WHOOOOT!
THE FIRST AWARD ARE BEST SUPPORTING DONG IN A LOS COMIC. HERE TO PRESENT THE AWARD IS KONGUS MC CLOODERBEST.
WHOOOOT!
Uh... the Possie goes to... the red rocket for "The Phallus of Satan!"
RONGODESK!!!!!

 

by possums
3-01-04
WE IS BACK AFTER THAT MANY WOLKSVAGEN COMMERSHUL. HERE IS DINGOBABY A. CROOTNOOT
SLINGBLAADE!!!!!
Uh... And the Possie for Best Dingoette in a Comic goes to... Bornkens T. Fornkens!!
ROTK SUUUUUCKS!!!!!
Splbbbbtbtbt.......

 

by possums
3-02-04
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hahaha.
Hay! Shet up ya yankee fuckfayce.
Soldier! Is that man harassin' ya?
Yea. Ya'll'd best do sum'n about it.
DIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
To run or not to run... that is the question.

 

by possums
3-03-04
So I says to my lawyer, I says I says, hey, what's with the wrench? Thanks, I'll be here all week.
I don't know, Kangoot, it's really not that funny.
But...
Have you ever seen the King of Comedy?
Yeah, it's a great movie.
Your new name is Rupert Pupkin.

 

by possums
3-03-04
SCLOIK!!!!!!!
SCLOIK!!!!!!!!
SCLOIK!!!!!!!
SCLOIK!!!!!!!!
Yep, not much going on here.
SCLOIK!!!!!!!
SCLOIK!!!!!!!!

Showing page 4.

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