All comics by 100Faces

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by 100Faces
1-03-09
Made any resolutions this year?
Sure.
Like what?
Like answering all stupid questions with "sure".
Does that mean that my second question was less stupid than the first.
What? ... Erm, i mean, sure!

 

by 100Faces
1-03-09
Canada's attack on Uruguay will be the start of the third world war, a new virus will eradicate half the population of Europe, but the polar bears will be saved from extinction.
Are you kidding? You can't do that, Lord.
Come on, why shouldn't I have a little bit of fun at last?
Well, it's your world. Do what you want.
Alright. Canada will start the third world war, half the population of Europe will die of a new virus, and Sarah Palin will be eaten by the very last polar bear.
It's so much better that way.

 

by 100Faces
1-03-09
What's wrong down there?
It's nothing. Just a few jerks arguing over some theological questions.
Like what?
Well, you know like the Divine Trinity and stuff. Talking about Trinity, where's that Holy Spirit guy again?
No space for a third character in a stripcreator panel, I guess.
Guess you're right. Your balloons are hiding the sun, by the way.

 

by 100Faces
1-03-09
So you're saying my balloons are hiding the sun. I guess we could change places then.
Mmmh, okay!
Don't think it helps, Dad.
Well, let me think of something else then ...
Aaaah!
Well, it's better at least. But if you could just shut up for a second, it would be perfect. So stop whining and let me get a bit of a tan, will you?

 

by 100Faces
1-03-09
How come you doubt the infallibility of the pope all of a sudden, Sister Agnes?
Well you know, I was ouside his residence this morning and ...
Damn it! I think I've put too much sugar in my coffee again!
See?

 

by 100Faces
1-03-09
What are they quarreling about down there?
The infallibility of the pope, Dad.
What do you mean?
Papal infallibility, Dad! You know, that the Pope is preserved from the possibility of error.
Pope?

 

by 100Faces
1-04-09
You really don't know the pope, Dad? He's your representative on Earth, my successor - virtuous and infallible just like myself!
Infallible just like you! Ha! And what about the water you were supposed to turn into blackberry syrup? And the cross you couldn't carry yourself!
And what about you, Dad? What about the dinosaurs that weren't on Noah's list? And the apple tree you said that Adam would never ever eat from?
Don't you dare talk to your father like that or ...
Oh, Dad. Please, I'm sorry! Now please let me down again!
Not before I've finished my glass of blackberry syrup.

 

by 100Faces
1-04-09
I said I'm sorry, Dad! Now please let me down or I'll tell Mum!
Just five days more.
What kind of father are you, you bastard? Nailing your own son onto the cross! If you don't let him down right now, I won't sleep with you for another century.
So what? We haven't had sex for more than 2000 years anyway, Mary!
Dad! Pleeeeeeeease!
The Greek gods have it so much better! Guess I'll go over to the Olymp and ask Zeus to show me that swan or that bull trick of his.

 

by 100Faces
1-04-09
You're not going to church again without a decent suit, are you?
But Mary, I'm the boss. they're worshipping me, for Christ's sake!
Not if you're not wearing something proper.
[sigh]
Dad, I don't want to go. Church is always so boring.
You know what your mum says. By the way, they might need you in case Parson Ridgeley runs out of hosts again.

 

by 100Faces
1-06-09
The trick with New Year's resolutions is to make both an easy and a difficult one. Keeping the easy one will give you enough self-confidence for the harder one.
That's what I did, but I broke the difficult one already.
What were your resolutions then?
Well, not to have sex with your ugly ex-wife who lives in the loony-bin and to make one comic on stripcreator a day.
So you're having a writer's block?
What do you mean "writer's block"?

 

by 100Faces
1-07-09
Last year I crashed down a gorge in my father's brandnew car. It was totally ruined of course.
I accidentally fried my aunt's cat when it hid in the oven.
I got expelled from school when I set fire on our science teacher.
I was so drunk at Uncle Mortimer's funeral that I stripped naked and started singing Marilyn Manson songs.
I hope next year will be just as great.
You bet!

 

by 100Faces
1-16-09
27 Wood Lane. Do you think it's a good idea? You never told your Mum about me!
I know. She's a bit prejudiced against Muslims since Daddy died on 9-11. But come on now, it won't give her a heart attack!
Excuse me, is this 27 Wood Lane? Gee, I hope I'm not late again.
Are you sure?

 

by 100Faces
1-16-09
I found out that my girlfriend reads my mails and checks my google searches. So I finally decided to have my own account.
Could you think of a good password she won't crack?
I could. It's the name and number of my favourite ice hockey player. Susan is such a sports illiterate.
Mmmh.
Dad, do you know any ice hockey player called Gazzby? ...Gretzky? Yes, that's it. And his number? ...99? Oh, thank you so much Daddy. Bye!

 

by 100Faces
1-19-09
What the ...?
Oh my God! I think I just saw a blue fish fly by.
Oh thank God! It is red. For one short moment I thought that I was losing my mind.

 

by 100Faces
1-20-09
See? That's my favourite fantasy about me and you. Don't you ever picture yourself on a beautiful island with me?
Occasionally.

 

by 100Faces
1-21-09
After 76 years as a maggot the giant desert bug, a species unknown to the academic world until very recently, digs its way through the hot desert sand. It is painstaking and hard work.
Uff!
It takes this interesting insect up to 20 hours from its birthplace 6 feet under the ground before it sees the sunshine for the first time in its life. In this inhospitable surrounding the giant ...
Aaah!
... desert bug has virtually no natural enemies, but ...
Yeeeeohh! Oops, what was that?
Nothing. Faster, faster!

 

by 100Faces
1-27-09
Mr. Faces, are your ideas for comic competitions generally perceived with great enthusiasm?
Yeah, of course. Take the one about lying, for example. It has more replies than any other WW competition ever before.
He's such a liar, but you have to feel sorry for him. Even the topic "What's the point of this forum?" has more views than his.
Erm ..., next question please.
How popular is your Captain Repeat series, Mr. 100Faces?
Extremely. You wouldn't believe how many ...

 

by 100Faces
2-03-09
Mr. 100Faces, didn't you say that you wanted to announce the winner of this competition on Sunday?
I know. It was a lie. Hehe!
But it's Tuesday already. People will be angry.
No, it's Monday.
It's Monday? Really?
Haha, gotcha! That was a lie again. What is true, however, is that I will soon announce the winner. I just want to make one more comic myself.

 

by 100Faces
2-03-09
The next sentence is a lie.
The previous sentence is true.
Oh my God! Why do I always have to interview this jerk? God, I hate my job and that's no lie!
Hahaha, hahaha!

 

by 100Faces
2-03-09
Is this one of your silly jokes again?
Stop it!
What's wrong with you?
Listen! Just because I sold my soul to you doesn't give you the right to play stupid tricks on me whenever you have a dayoff!

 

by 100Faces
2-03-09
Hey! What the hell ...!
Get the fuck outta here, you ugly creep! Messing around with my planet!
Hmmm. Let's see. Cancer, war in the Middle East, starvation, climate change. Seems like everything's fine. I'm sure glad that freak didn't have much time.
Phew! At least he could have let me build that orphanage in Congo.

 

by 100Faces
5-23-09
Now Rudolph, that's another fine mess you've got yourself into.

 

by 100Faces
10-26-09
Not me, sir! Please.
Hey, I did it last year!
No chance! I won't.
Why does anybody have to?
Come on. Someone's gotta be on duty at Halloween. What about you, Edward?
Alright, alright. As if one day without death would do any harm. [sigh]

 

by 100Faces
10-26-09
So what's so bad about Halloween duty?
It sucks.
Is it 'cause you're missing all the parties and stuff?
It's not missing the parties I mind, but not being taken seriously.
On the 31st ...
Excuse me, Mr. Osbourne, but I think it's time to ....
Time to take off that stupid fancy dress, you mean? You're way too old for going trick-or-treating, buddy.

 

by 100Faces
3-12-10
And you say they've been cloning humans for centuries?
Yep.
Do they all look the same as we do?
Yep.
Cool!
Yep.

 

by 100Faces
3-12-10
The world is not the same viewed from within a space suit.
It occurs to me that life is much too short. Yet it is long enough to give the impression of eternity. We are all destined to live with and within this contradiction.
Want a banana.

 

by 100Faces
4-01-10
Lisa can partially but only subconsciously visualize the near future.
Ugh, that guy looks horrible. I wonder what happened to him. Maybe he needs help.
Hmm, that girl looks amazing. Maybe I should ask her out.
Excuse me, but ...
Hi baby, I very much dig your ass. Wanna have sex with me?
Phew.
Ouch.

 

by 100Faces
9-02-10
Help! Help!
Coming!
Oh my God, it's you already, Mr. Reaper! Do you take bribes? I'll give you one million Dollars.
One million, you say? Okay, but don't tell the boss. He'll really get angry if he finds out I've given your boyfriend an extension.
What do you mean, extension? The million is for finishing him off right now.

 

by 100Faces
9-02-10
That fucking cat you gave my daughter for Christmas pissed on the living room floor. It smells like urine in the whole house, even the cookies do!
But, ma'am. It was just a toy cat.
It's actually the strongest about where you're standing now for Christ's s... Wait! What did you say?
Erm.
Santa?!
Sorry, ma'am. Where can I wash my hands?

 

You know what's ironic? I was always the one at school who they said wouldn't even hurt a fly.
by 100Faces, 9-02-10

 

by 100Faces
9-03-10
Boy, it's really hot in here. Maybe I can buy something to drink over there.
Have you got Diet Coke? I'll give you 100 Dollars.
Sorry, your money is no good in here.
Hmm. Are you saying this is Canada?
[sigh]

 

by 100Faces
9-03-10
Mhhh, this is our twenty-seventh day up in the clouds and still there is no sign of rescue.
Yes.
Would you believe it? This is the third time this has happened to me.
I would, you told me a hundred times I guess.
Boy, I really hate it when these near death experiences are taking so long.
Maybe you should stop eating my pasta arrabiata if you're allergic to onions.

 

by 100Faces
9-06-10
Yes?
Sorry me! Is it possible for you to do the kindness me to give your message where I have to switch money may be from Mars with earthly order to have at my disposal on your body of heaven?
Huh?
Now you please help me and finally told me where can replace the money I have I want to share it for the your here on the earth, right? I use to me there was nothing. Do not get me really not?
Fucking Google translator!
Fucking Google translator!

 

by 100Faces
9-09-10
And with just a little bit of mayonnaise, please.
Sorry, we don't have manburgers.
But I can see you.
I'm not a man-burger. I'm the man-ager.
Whatever you call it on this planet, but don't forget the mayonnaise. Just a little bit, remember?

 

Jesus Christ, how on earth did you end up on a Bruce Springsteen cover?
by 100Faces, 9-21-10

 

by 100Faces
9-22-10
So you're time travelling for the first time. Where would you like to go?
1985 please. I just love 80's rock music.
Mmmh. 1 - 9 - 8 - 5. Alright. Now what was it again? B.C. or A.D.? Mmmh, that's not even 4000 earth years, how much difference can that make?
Time travelling is so great. Maybe I will see Van Halen or Bon Jovi or Bryan Adams or ....
A little later ...
Mmmh. Are you ZZ Top?
?

 

by 100Faces
9-22-10
An interrogative pronoun and Soft Cell's follow-up single to "Torch".
What is "What"? 80's Pop for 400, please.
Another interrogative pronoun and an English rock band whose biggest hit in the 1980's was "You Better You Bet".
Who are "The Who"? 80's pop for 500.
Stupid quiz show where answers were in the form of questions and an American number 2 hit for the Greg Kihn Band.
Hmmm. Dunno. What is "The Price Is Right"???

 

by 100Faces
9-25-10
Shall I or shall I not?
Shall I or shall I not?
Are you still up here? How long have you been standing here? Just get it behind you and jump!
Well, I guess not today. I'll fix that broken railing tomorrow.
Aaaaaaah!

 

by 100Faces
9-26-10
They say the chances to win in the lottery are about one in a million. A million, imagine!
That means if you go from Los Angeles to Seattle and there's a quarter every fifth foot ...
... the chances to pick up the right one are about the same.
Mmh. I never go further than San Francisco anyway.

 

by 100Faces
9-26-10
They say the chances to win in the lottery are about one in a million. A million, imagine!
That means if you go from Los Angeles to Seattle and there's a quarter every fifth foot ...
... the chances to pick up the right one are about the same.
And just imagine the chances to get run over by a truck if you bend down to pick it up.

 

by 100Faces
9-26-10
They say the chances to win in the lottery are about one in a million. A million, imagine!
That means if you go from Los Angeles to Seattle and there's a quarter every fifth foot ...
... the chances to pick up the right one are about the same.
What's wrong with the others anyway?

 

by 100Faces
10-01-10
What do you want?
A little piece of heaven.
Well, don't we all? And what makes you think you could get it here?
Well, you're a second hand record shop, ain'tcha?
Have a look at the reduced 7" singles boxes in the basement then.
Thank you. I suppose they're not in alphabetical order, are they??

 

by 100Faces
10-02-10
They're absolutely dangerous and highly addictive. Repeated con-sumption leads to social isolation because children stop playing with the neighbour kids.
They shape our values in non-predictable ways and are a distraction to school and work making users retreat into an artificial world.
I'm glad that young people see the dangers of video games, too.
What do you mean? I'm talking about books for Christ's sake.

 

by 100Faces
10-13-10
Now wait, Faces! What are we doing here in the middle of the night in front of edoggydog's house? What do you mean we gotta re-programme his time machine?
Sssht, Doc! This way we can go back to Oct. 12th - one minute before he made his comic. The machine will never be made and he can't go back in time to kill you and annul my CC win.
But if we go back in time and destroy the time machine that took us to the past, we'll probably be trapped in an eternal time loop, Faces.
But that's the only thing we can do, Doc. Believe me! Maybe there will be a few explosions, but ...
Explosions, Faces? Then you will win your own CC by bonus points and this may affect the time and space continuum in even more unpredictable ways. Don't, Faces, d.... Uuuugggghhhh!
I will announce the winner yesterday, The winner is 100Faces. I will announce the winner yesterday. The winner is 100Faces. I will announce the winner yesterday and the winner is 100Faces. I ...

 

by 100Faces
1-16-11
This long distance dating is really getting me down.
But Susan lives just down the road.
I know, but whenever I say I wanna have sex, she says ...
That's still a long way to go until then.

 

by 100Faces
1-24-11
My new year's resolution is not to kill anybody unexpectedly.
Mine is not to give anybody stupid gifts they don't really need.
Mmmmh.
What the f***?
I know I broke mine, but this will certainly help him keep his.

 

by 100Faces
1-31-11
Hey, that's nine against three!

 

by 100Faces
4-02-12
What a stupid idea! Making four-panel-comics is like changing the Holy Trinity to a Holy Quatrinity, I say.
Oh, we've made arrangements to meet these new requirements. It's God the Father, ...
... the Son, ...

 

by 100Faces
4-02-12
... the Holy Spirit and ...
This is so not funny!
... Randomly Appearing Snowman! Tah-dah!

 

by 100Faces
6-03-12
Seventh row, grave 23, Butch. Now where are my nuts?
Left them on the kitchen table. I'll bring them next time, squirrel.
No nuts and there'll be no next time. I told you.
But ... but ... aaaaaaah!
Right in front of you. That'll be three packs of hazelnuts then.
Thank you, squirrel.

Showing page 5.

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