All comics by Buttonman

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by Buttonman
7-10-06
Pigs now attacking fans. Just what Wrestling needs.
Oink! Onnk! Oink OINK!
?
Oink! Onnk! Oink OINK! Spit. Sput.
Just ignore them, What do pigs know anyhow?

 

by Buttonman
7-10-06
Backstage at XWE, formerly known as XW-2000...
I don't understand son, you got scrubbed off the main event? It was supposed to be you against Fabian "Bulldozer Graham."
I know, dad and I'm sorry you drove such a long way for nothing.
How did this HAPPEN, son?
Just before the doors opened, Riki Idol and Rainbow Warrior plugged my USB port into an X-Box and downloaded me into Grand Theft Auto.
The CADS! How Horrible!
I spent the entire night trying to get away from "The Man."

 

by Buttonman
7-10-06
Chuck Thunder seeks an avatar change.
Ok, Cartoon boy. I asked you to meet me here before this nice high-contrast background to discuss the whole "Penguin as Dominatrix" thing.
So what's the problem?
The problem is that I am CHUCK THUNDER, an old school, conventional technical wrestler...
...in an evening dress and carrying a whip. I fail to grasp the difficulty.
I AM NOT A PENGUIN DOMINATRIX YOU INSUFFERABLE COMPUTER GEEK! REDRAW ME IMMEDIATELY OR WE SHALL TUSSLE!
OK now. That was good. Just let those feelings out now. See how easy it is?

 

by Buttonman
7-10-06
Chuck's campaign for a new avatar intensifies...
Look Bob. I am a patient wrestler. I live an orderly life in and out of the ring. This simply is not an appropriate gimmick for me.
Dude. If I change yours, I'll have to change everyone's
I am telling you for the last time I am NOT a PENGUIN with a WHIP!
I am beginning to see your perspective, Mr. Thunder.
Now was that so difficult? What? Wait. An AMISH guy? An AMISH Pro Wrestler? Listen, English a rib's a rib, but I will get thee for this.
Try it for a while, thou mightest enjoyeth the change of pace.

 

by Buttonman
7-12-06
Sean, the Grandson of my friend is visiting from Savannah, Ga...
So, Sean. How did you like the SPW show you saw over the weekend?
It was a lot of fun. We don't have anybody like Miss Fire back home in Georgia.
Does anything else stand out in your mind about that show?
Yeah. Chuck Thunder doesn't look ANYTHING like a penguin with a Whip.
And...
That guy MILO fought like Rey Mysterio only without a mask. I thought he'd been killed a couple of times...

 

by Buttonman
7-12-06
Sean's adventures on the Gulf Coast continue...
Wrestling here is a little different from what we have back home in Savannah.
In what way?
Well, we have The Martin Luthor King Arena Seating capacity: 6,100 - 9,600, with Rick Stiener and Lex Luger...
So?
So here we have The Defuniak Springs Fairgrounds, seats 100 to 325, Dan Delicious, The Executive and The Man In Black...
You're closer to the action though.

 

by Buttonman
7-12-06
Erick xxplores comparisons...
Why are people always comparing Percy Pringle and Cousin Cledus?
Probably for the same reason they compare me and Kevin Nash. Pure jealousy
Why are people always comparing Percy Pringle and Cousin Cledus?
Probably for the same reason they compare me and Vince McMahon. Pure jealousy
Why are people always comparing Percy Pringle and Cousin Cledus?
Probably for the same reason they compare me and Creighton Hobbes. Pure jealousy

 

by Buttonman
7-12-06
On a typical Tuesday night, the Zombie Family discusses TV on the Sci-Fi Channel...
ECW Rules.
Violence?
Rick Flair wrestled Big Show for the ECW title and got anahiliated. More blood than a Red Cross donation drive.
Violence! Yes. ECW rules.
Your husband is a BIG ECW fan, Sis.
I could just KILL him for it too.

 

by Buttonman
7-13-06
Pink Donkeyis studying to be a commentator...
This is comic # 100 and you are the lead panel. How does that make you feel?
I am not supposed to know that, but OK I guess.
These cartoons are making you famous. How does that make you feel?
Crap I am a Penguin again. I will get you for suggesting this Medic!
You know that people are having trouble telling a penguin from a duck. How does that make you feel?
I am ambivalent.

 

by Buttonman
7-14-06
Ever the curious Viking, Fabian poses a question...
Say, you know, I always wondered, whatever happened to Johnny Hollywood?
He was about 5 feet 6 inches tall, long blonde hair, and was wearing leather pants and jacket, officer...
Trust me Fabian. Nobody wants to know

 

by Buttonman
7-15-06
You know, Pappa McCoy, I've been wondering for the longestr time just who that Pink Donkey is.
Yeah I know what you mean. Our avatars don't always look exactly like us. I am much more handsome than The Medic.
So, Donkey. Who are you supposed o be anyhow?
I thought it was obvious. Wrestler, announcer, manager... I am The Executive!
What about the Pirate?
I don't even know Tom Carter.

 

by Buttonman
7-15-06
Ok Mr. Executive, I want you to take off all your clothes...
Woo Hoo!
... so that we can properly prepare you for your surgery.
Umm, what kind of thermometer is that?
What kind do you think? You're a donkey!
Woo Hoo!

 

by Buttonman
7-15-06
Hi. I will be your Doctor today. This bill for $100,000 is for services you've received so far this morning.
But all she did was take my temperature...
It doesn't matter, does it? I mean you do have insurance, right?
Umm. No.
I'm late for my golf game.
Where is The Medic when you need him?

 

by Buttonman
7-15-06
I spoke with your strangely dressed associate, a Mr.Thunder, who convinced me that your operation should be free.
He says to tell you that he wants your knee to be 100% fixed when he breaks it again.
I will be back in a little while to prep you for surgery. Just sign ths consent form that gives me power of attorney...

 

by Buttonman
7-15-06
Operation day, 9AM..
I hope you like the decorations here in the surgical waiting room. We just sedated the Executive and have prepared all the instruments.
2 hours later...
We are having some small complications. Everything is fine.
8 Hours later...
We've had to make some cosmetic alterations to your friend. It's only temporary. We're going to let him rest a day and then try again.

 

by Buttonman
7-15-06
Exexutive's knee operation takes an unexpected twist...
I don't think it looks all that bad.
You did this didn't you, you whippersnapper!
What?
You paid that doctor to ruin my perfect pink complexion. I will get you for this PENGUIN!
That's MR. Penguin to you, Feet For Ears!

 

by Buttonman
7-17-06
Why doesn't this cartoon strip give more push to DUCKS?
Um... I'm not sure. Perhaps because there are no DUCKS in Wrestling?
Pigs got a push. PENGUINS got a push. I think the cartoonist that writes this the cartoon strip is a DUCK bigot.
I wouyldn't say that too loud, Duckie...
Why not?
Because you never know who's listening.

 

by Buttonman
7-17-06
Well, Mr. Executive. I am so embarassed. Apparently your paperwork got mixed up and received cosmetic surgery instead of knee surgery.
I am really, really angry about this.
If you will just sign this release form we will have you back to your old self in no time.
I'm not so sure. Why should I let you off the hook so easily?
The hospital will sponsor a wrestling show featuring The Armstrongs and Jesse Dalton.
Got Pen?

 

by Buttonman
7-18-06
Later at Pappa McCoy's farm
And that's when you got restored to your original self?
Yep. And he even fixed my knee while he was at it...
Meanwhile at Cutter Hospital...
We dodged a MAJOR bullet, you know.
You're telling me.
Coincidentally, in Pensacola...
The Jackson thinks this lame cartoon isn't paying enough attention to HIM!
Tell me about it. The cartoonist is prejudiced against ducks.

 

by Buttonman
7-18-06
Every female in Semmes, Alabama loves Cowboy Billy Wade.
They giggle and scream and faint whenever he comes out of the locker room before his wrestling match.
I wonder how I would look in chaps and a cowboy hat?

 

by Buttonman
7-18-06
Wrestlers seem to be getting younger all the time.
Are you wearing clean underwear?
Yes Mom.
Now remember, no flaming tables, falling 35 feet of the top of a steel cage, being body slammed on thumbtacks or head blows with brass knuckles...
Awe Mommm.
And don't get blood on your new gimmick, OK?
Gotta go. That's my entrance music.

 

by Buttonman
7-18-06
A chance encounter leads to a frank discussion...
Aren't you Riki Idol, the world's sexiest man?
Why yes. Indeed I am. Thank you for noticing.
Take THAT Riki Idol!
And That! And THAT!
JEEZE! Lady, what the hell was THAT all about?
You're wrestling my SON next match. Send him home safe and a winner or ELSE.

 

by Buttonman
7-19-06
A phone call to GAWF... Could opportunity be knocking?
***Ring*** Ring***
Great American Wrestling Federation, Skip Skipperman, Pro Wrestling Mogul Speaking..
Da BOSS wants to talk to youse right away, Skipperman. He wants to make youse an offer that youse can't refuse.
I would be DELIGHTED. Wehere shall we meet?
Da BOSS will arrange Da transportation. Just be ready, OK?
Let me just straighten my tie and I'm ready to go.

 

by Buttonman
7-19-06
Where you goin Daddy?
Daddy has a business meeting to go to. Any minute now a limo will...
Bye bye.
Welcome to HELL. I hope youse had a pleasant journey. Da BOSS will be wit youse shortly. Make youself comfy. Would youse like some water?
Bad 60's flashback. just stay calm.

 

by Buttonman
7-21-06
GAWF Promoter Skipperman meets with a BIG client in Hell...
Abe Vagoda? You are Satan, Big Kahuna of the Underworld?
Nah. Not really. The cartoonist just went for a cheap sight gag to see how many people he could catch off guard.
Whew. That's a relief. Abe Vagoda would have been TOUGH to negotiate with.
Ok. Well. What I want to do is sponsor a wrestling show on Earth.
Why not use Vince Mcmahon?
I already OWN his soul.

 

by Buttonman
7-21-06
What about Buttonman, Bobby Wilson or Cousin Cledus?
Nah. They all live too far away from the building I want to use. $3.00 gasoline is hell.
So where do you want to run this show?
Hossford, Florida. Right up the road from you.
But, uhh, I already run a show in Hossford. Sweet building. Could use a bigger air conditioner.
I know. The owner of that building owes me a soul but he reneged.

 

by Buttonman
7-21-06
Ok. Let me understand this. Satan, Prince of Darkness, wants to sponsor a wrestling show to collect on a renegged soul...
You got it Bunky. You get the gate. I get the building owner.
Just out of curiosity, what if i don't need another sponsor?
There's no such thing as a wrestling promoter who doesn't need sponsors.
So when do you want to have this show?
A week ago.

 

by Buttonman
7-21-06
The GAWF Promoter has discovered The Twilight Zone of Wrestling...
A week ago? You want to sponsor a wrestling show a week in the past?
I don't really live in your space-time continuum. I get to bounce around whenever I like.
But... that show has already happened. How can I do a show I've already done?
According to your message board, you do it all the time.
But...
*Sigh* Ever heard of Groundhog Day, the movie? You're living it right now.

 

by Buttonman
7-23-06
Buttonman visits a friend...
Whatcha Doin?
I have been reading Spiderman's blog. He really writes very very well, you know. Better even than you...
That wounds me and hurts my feelings., although it is true. Look at how well he organizes the match information. He was born to be a journalist.
And I was born to be a DIVA!
I will speak to him about it immediately.
I've got film and a camera.

 

by Buttonman
7-23-06
The Executive has recovered from his operation, but now appears to be one wheel short of a wagon...
I am going to destroy THE ARMSTRONGS!
How are you going to do that?
I'm going to make it rain for 40 days and 40 nights and drown everybody out!
You've been listening to Bill Cosby, RIGHT?
Flounder in WETNESS, Armstrongs!
Man, Executive... lots of penut butter inside your head, but you seem to have lost your crackers!

 

by Buttonman
7-23-06
AWF's business consultant askes the tough questions...
Well, Doink. TWO "no-shows" on a single card to a sell-out crowd. What do you have to say for yourself?
Ummm... Rick Steiner and Wade Garrett Rocked the world?
You seem to be having trouble making people stay home whenever you have a show. You keep selling out to the walls. What should you do?
Umm... Have ONIONS for the hot dogs and ENERGY DRINKS for people who aren't hyper enough?
How can you make the show better and cut down on expenses, both at the same time?
Um... have Little Shooter wrestle himself in a "Special Handicap Brass Knuckle, Winner Wears a Dress, Loser Faces Wade Garrett match?

 

by Buttonman
7-25-06
Negotiations completed, Skip heads for home.
Mom... Daddy's home.
Wow. That was a strang experience.
Daddy, how come you smell like brimstone?
Well, Junior, that's a question best answered at the ice cream store.
Bribery... my favorite flavor.

 

by Buttonman
7-25-06
So Skip is seriously going to bring GAWF back to HOSSFORD after the previous um... setbacks?
Looks like it. Says he has a brand new sponsor with boocoo bux and he is going to bring in no less a personality than SCOTT STEINER!
Well, that's bound to be a draw, for sure, but those Steiner boys are shooters. Were I Skip, I believe I would have everybody's pay ahead of the gate.
He says he has it handled. Hossford is not a bad ride from Chipley, but *WOOF* from Pensacola...
Whatsay we get away from this highway background. I read these comics regularly and...
My middle name is now "Road Kill."

 

by Buttonman
7-27-06
Billy Rayz falls in love...
Say it ain't true, Billy Rayz!
Say what ain't true?
That you are giving up wrestling for a woman...
It's a thing no virgin would ever understand, my boy.

 

by Buttonman
7-27-06
Rumors about new wrestling organizations in Mobile seldom stand up to scrutiny...
Hey Babe. Can Iinterest you in a used car? I got a sweet little Miata that would work really nice for you.
Actually, my little brother is into wrestling and I hear you might start running shows.
Joey Barrett, Professional Wrestler, at your service.
So when are you going to run wrestling shows and where, and who's going to be on the card?
Listen... About that Miata...
Thought so.

 

by Buttonman
7-28-06
Female fans have brains and opinions...
I think it's romantic that Billy Rayz gave up Pro Wrestling for the love of a lady.
I agree with you but where does that leave SCOTTY Rayz. He kicked the Bombzaloco gimmick to the curb to be a Rayz Brother and now he's a Rayz Solo.
I think he should re-establish Bombzaloco. Same style, and he could recapture the bookings he lost when he went to tag team.
Well, SPW has that new kid, Milo, who would benefit enormously by wrestling fast flyers like Scotty.
Why are we standing and talking like this when we should both be pregnant and in the kitchen?
Oh crap! MEDIC just hacked the cartoon software. Now we're in for it.

 

by Buttonman
7-29-06
Unrequited ambitions of a wrestling fan...
Sometimes I wish I didn't live at the dawn of time.
I have dreams and aspirations just like anyone. Having a brain the size of a walnut is no impediment..
I really want to wrestle Joey Barrett in a Hardcore, Falls Count Anywhere Match, but he won't be born for another 1,000,000 years

 

by Buttonman
7-29-06
Rex explores an idea...
Have you ever thought about becoming a Professional Wrestling Manager?
What's Professional Wrestling?
It's an exhibitional sports contest where two atheletes struggle in behalf of good or evil to prevail over one another.
What's good and evil?
Some days being a dinosaur has its drawbacks.

 

by Buttonman
7-29-06
Professsor Lenasaur happens by...
I hear you want to get into Professional Wrestling.
Yeah. But it looks like a no-sale though. The first match is like a million years in the future.
I might have a solution for you. Why not come over to the lab and check out my newest invention?
Ok. Sure. Anything to chase the blues away.
This is a Mark VII Positronic Flow, Quantum Leap Time Machine, Model B.
I'm aghast. Er ah.. What's a time machine?

 

by Buttonman
7-29-06
The professor completes a detailed explanation of the quuantum physics and string theory principles involved in time travel...
So just push the green button and say "Joey Barrett" three times??
You got it perfect.
We don't have a very large special effects budget...
Mobile, Alabama, 2006
I'm looking for Joey Barrett...
Now what?

 

by Buttonman
7-30-06
Rex encounters Doink The Clown, prestegious owner of the Alabama Wrestling Federation...
I've traveled all the way from 1,000,000 BC to wrestle Joey Barrett in a Hardcore Match. When can you set it up?
Hold on just a second, Bucko. You can't just wander in here out of the tar pits and get a match with a top player.
Why not?
Because there are PROCEDURES! For example, you are from 1,000,000 BC. Who trained you?
DR. X, Medic and Jerry B.
Well, WHY didn't you say so. Step into my office.

 

by Buttonman
7-31-06
Doink gave Joey a call. Thrilled at the prospect of someone actually brave enough to wrestle him, he rushed right over.
So. You're the Reptillian mope who's been stalking me for a match, eh?
Wow. Joey Barrett. My life's dream come true! I've always wanted to wrestle you in a Hard Core Match>
Heh. You don't look that tough,
Don't let the toon frame size purportion fool you. I am actually 68 feet tall.
I'll take you out with ONE open handed chop to the chest!
Oh GREAT! Hardcore AND stepladders! When and where can we have our match?

 

by Buttonman
7-31-06
Rex's first interview in the AWF...
Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in Alabama Wrestling Federation history, from 1,000,000 BC, T-Rex!
Thanks, Mr. Announcer. It's a pleasure to be here with all these insane wrestling fans tonight to talk about AWF and wrestling Joey Barrett.
Rex, I understand that you came all the way from prehistory just to wrestle Joey, is that correct?
That's correct. I just stepped into the time machine and **whoosh** Instant AWF.
1,000,000 BC that's pretty far back in time. How did you find out about Joey Barrett?
My Cousin Vinny bought a 1961 Nash Metropolitan from him.

 

by Buttonman
8-01-06
AWF Semmes hosts the very first dinosaur VS Joey Barrett match in US history...
Joey wasts no time getting into the ring. He immediately grabs T-Rex by the arm and whips him into the rope.
T-Rex comes off the rope with a hard clothesline that catches Joey in mid-chest with such power that he is catapulted over the top rope and into the first row of chairs.
It's UNBELIEVABLE, Folks. Joey Barrett is back on his feet with a chair in his hands and heading back for the ring. He climbs into the ring and bounces the chair off T-Rex's skull!
The DINOSAUR is JUST LAUGHING at Joey. But wait! Joey has gone to the tights for a foreign OBJECT! It's really getting HARD CORE! I'm coming in for a closer look...
The match has now COMPLETELY turned in favor of JOEY BARRETT. All he did was SHOW the object to T-Rex and the huge dinosaur just FAINTED!
Joey COVERS. There's the COUNT. 1- 2- 3. It's OVER. It's OVER. Joey Barrett has won a hardcore match with a 14 ton 68 foot tall Dinosaur! Joey RULES!!!

 

by Buttonman
8-03-06
The roar of the crowd fades as T-Rex is transported backward in time to his starting point...
Joey Barrett, you've won a great victory! What did you show T-Rex that made him faint?
That's simple. I showed him a can of motor oil and told him that his entire civilization was inside my car engine.
So. I hear you're into engineering now. What's up with that?
I'm thinking we need a starship and pretty quick, but I can't say why without creating a time paradox. Once I finish that, I want a rematch!

 

by Buttonman
8-06-06
Pigs promote politics...
We think that Percy Pringle has insulted you. He used the WWE to plug his show and said "We don't 'clown around' " isn't that insulting?
We think that you should begin insulting him back immediately! We think that you should make crude remarks and start a war with him.
We pigs get off on stupid crap like that. It's what we live for. We don't give a #### about wrestling.

 

by Buttonman
8-06-06
I have a certified letter here for a Mr. Commando.
There's no Commando here in the GAWF any more. He has reinvented himself. He's now known as "Pretty Boy."
Nevertheless, I have a certified letter for him. Will you sign for it?
Who's it from?
It's from the Iraqi Draft Board in Baghdad. It starts off, "You may already have been drafted into the Iraqi National Guard...
Oh my. That's not going to go over well at all.

 

by Buttonman
8-07-06
Pig Promises
We're coming for you.
That's a flaccid threat.
No. Really. We're going to physically attack you and damage your stuff and beat you up.
Nah. That's not how cowardly pigs operate. Pigs hide behind AOL IP #s and fling monkey S##t. Pigs are cowards all.
You'll see. We're going to "get" you
The only thing you pigs are going to "get" is the weapon of my choice. What do you think - shot pig, stuck pig or bitch slapped pig?

 

by Buttonman
8-07-06
Pretty Boy has a way with the women that some women appreciate more than others...
My sister has a crush on you, Pretty Boy.
You better treat her right or I will wind you up like a timex and twist you into a pretzel.
What is your sister's name?
I'm going to let you figure that one out all on your own.
Oh God...

 

That last episode of RAW really ran overtime!
by Buttonman, 8-07-06

Showing page 5.

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