All comics by Chuckaduck

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by Chuckaduck
3-28-05
Married Autobot Chuck: I'm about to leave.
Chester: Pussy.
Married Autobot Chuck: Why can't you just let me have my time in the spotlight and let me lead my life in peace you jackass?!
Chester: Your cunt just went dry in the sunlight and now you need a little grease in your stank ass? Awuh?
Married Autobot Chuck: Godamn you I didn't say that!
Chester: Funny, that blubbering vagina you call a mouth doesn't LOOK dry. Perhaps if you sucked on a sanitary napkin for a bit and put on a bib or something we'd have better communication here.

 

by Chuckaduck
3-28-05
Married Autobot Chuck: Nothing is gained by insulting me constantly.
Chester: Except the satisfaction of watching you get pissed off over words... .. ...... ...creampie eater.
Married Autobot Chuck: Fine. Fuck you! Fuck off. Fuck all! I'm out.
Chester: Watch your step! There appears to be a blubbering vagina preceeding every step you take! Slippery when wet man! Slippery when wet!
Chester: Well. What to do now?
Aiesha Danawala: Excuse me sir. Do you have a dollar?

 

by Chuckaduck
3-28-05
Married Autobot Chuck: This is just too much for one guy to take. Maybe I should just give this all a rest and go home to the kiddo and Mrs. and hope this just all takes care of itself.
Untainted Hooker: Robo Nerd! Ready for luvluvs?
Married Autobot Chuck: Go away.
Are you STILL feeling sorry for yourself that your past won't disappear in a puff of bong smoke, and further punishing yourself from consentual sex with a pro because of a stupid ring on your finger?
Married Autobot Chuck: How do thoughts like that come out as 'got much pow-pow in hips'?

 

by Chuckaduck
3-28-05
The Pubotic Nesticle: Num,um, hehe.
Hogl, *sluuurp*, *gobble*, *slob.slob,slob*
Chester: *Gasp* Nate's getting head!?!
!
Chester: Hey, everybody! Nate's getting head!
The Pubotic Nesticle: Numnumnumnumnumnumnumnum.

 

by Chuckaduck
3-28-05
Nate? Sexual contact? Is the head being performed by an animal? A blind animal?!?
Farmer Chuck: Whoa, okay. First, nu-uh. Second, why would you want everyone to see this?
Chester: Wouldn't YOU want to know what chick would not only lower themself to touch him, but to blow him?
He's got a point. NASA and several theological groups have been pondering over that one for a while now.
Farmer ChucK: I guess. But come on, who just showed up again and started blowing for practically nothin'.
Chester: Good point. I knew she'd suck a bone quicker than a toothless dog, lick a filthy ass for a value menu burger, but Nate?
Chester: I mean come on. It's NATE.
The Pubotic Nesticle: Numnumnumnumnumnum.

 

by Chuckaduck
3-28-05
Um, guys...
Aiesha Danawala: Fuck that! I'd never touch him. He asked and got turned down. I DO have STANDARDS you know.
Farmer Chuck: Like what; No cumshots in the left eye on the third Tuesday of the fifth month on leap year?
Aiesha Danawala: EXACTLY!
Farmer Chuck: ...
Fuck! I LOVE stripcreator!
Farmer Chuck: Okay, that's scary. I think I'm actually disgusted.
Chester: But... ...if she's not blowin' Nesticle... ...?

 

by Chuckaduck
3-28-05
...
Farmer Chuck: ...
Chester: ...
The Pubotic Nesticle: Numnumnumnumnum...
*shlooooooop*, *gurgle,gurlge*, ah!
Kickass! 200th strip!
The Pubotic Nesticle: Numnumnumnumnum...
Typical Catholic Priest: Hey thexy!

 

by Chuckaduck
3-29-05
Meanwhile, in the Mattcave!
MattMan: Dude, check this shit out. Says here Nate just got head from a Catholic Priest.
Richdawg: Wow, that's gay.
MattMan: Shouldn't Nate having sexual contact with anything but an animal unravel the fabric of the universe or something?
Richdawg: Cordless phone! Cordless phone!
MattMan: Here's an even better report. An Oscar Meyer Weiner mobile just rammed into a porn shop.
Richdawg: Neat! Read on little buddy!

 

by Chuckaduck
3-29-05
The following is a rendition of a true story. I shit you not.
So Matt's Dad, The Almighty Jim, was sitting at his computer, and in Matt's room a statement unlike any other was made... ...and it was a serious statement at that.
Richdawg: ...and dragons were real.
MattMan: ??? Um, Rich, dude, dragons were not real.
Richdawg: What?! You're nuts. Dragons were so real.
MattMan: Ha! Okay Rich.

 

by Chuckaduck
3-29-05
Continued. *Note: The Almighty Jim is/was often referred to by all as 'Dad'.
Richdawg: Fine, don't believe me? Let's go ask Dad*.
MattMan: Okay Rich, be my guest. *snicker*
Note the computer Jim is sitting at is off-panel ergo out of view.
The Almighty Jim: Godamn those sons-of-bitches! The programmers that made this fuckin' game should be beaten for the impossible bullshit they put in this godamn thing!
Richdawg: Dad, tell Matt dragons were real.
True story....
The Almighty Jim: What?
Richdawg: Matt doesn't believe dragons were real. Tell him dragons were real. They lived with the dinosaurs, right Dad?

 

by Chuckaduck
3-29-05
Continued...
The Almighty Jim: What Rich?
Richdawg: Tell Matt dragons were real!
The Almighty Jim: Matt, dragons were real.
MattMan: *snicker*
The Almighty Jim: Rich, why did I just tell Matt dragons were real?
Richdawg: Because they were! They lived back with the dinosaurs.

 

by Chuckaduck
3-29-05
The Almighty Jim: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
?
The Almighty Jim: HA, Rich, HAHA, I'd hate to be the one, HA, to break it to you, but dragons were not real. They are a mythical creature. HAHA!
Richdawg: .....
The Almighty Jim: HAHA! Thanks Rich! HA!
Richdawg: ...

 

by Chuckaduck
3-29-05
Later in Matt's room once more...
MattMan: *snicker*
Richdawg: ....
MattMan: *giggle*
Richdawg: ....
Rest In Peace Jim Velzy. You were truly the Jack Schitt.
MattMan: *about to burst laughing*
Richdawg: ...old man doesn't know what the fuck he's talkin' about.

 

by Chuckaduck
3-29-05
Aiesha Danawala: Hey! It's Tuesday and you still haven't paid me.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Oh, right. Let me get that dollar for you.
Aiesha Danawala: Five dollars! It was five dollers damnit!
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Really? Are you sure?
Aiesha Danawala: YES! PLEASE GIVE ME MONEY!

 

by Chuckaduck
3-29-05
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: How do I know it was really you that I owe bj money to?
Aiesha Danawala: BECAUSE I'M THE WHORE THAT WAS ON YOUR COCK! YOU KNOW THAT DAMNIT!
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Wow, you're being very loud and rude. Do you have a receipt or something else that might jog my memory and prove you are who you say you are?
Aiesha Danawala: ...
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: HA!
Aiesha Danawala: *sluuuurp*, hgl, *slob,slob,slob*, grg....

 

by Chuckaduck
3-29-05
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Will there be anything else?
Aiesha Danawala: No, thank you for FINALLY paying me. You were so much nicer back in the day.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Really? Did we actually talk or something? Could it be you tried to accuse me of you sucking my dick have something to do with it?
Aiesha Danawala: I know. I'm sorry.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: ....slowing accepting your apology... ...... ..... .. .....not really. HA!
Aiesha Danawala: *slurp* augl, lglgl, *gobble*

 

by Chuckaduck
3-29-05
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: That was quick.
Aiesha Danawala: I got mugged. Can you pretty please just give me enough to get back to my filthy shack?
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: .... ........... ...wait, are you serious?
Aiesha Danawala: *crying*

 

by Chuckaduck
3-29-05
Aiesha Danawala: Do you respect me?
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Keep that shit up and that nickel I was going to give you if you tongued my right testicle is out of the question.
Aiesha Danawala: A whole nickel!?

 

by Chuckaduck
3-29-05
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: I've just gone into disbelief at the level of slut she's acheived! It's awe-inspiring and revolting!
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: How could anyone live like that? The shame, the humility, the constant loads in your eyes and hair!
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Fuck! I'll be up all night laughing! I can't sleep knowing the whoreness of it all. What a degenerate.
Aiesha Danawala: I'm still standing here.

 

by Chuckaduck
3-29-05
Aiesha Danawala: What can I do to get a little more money?
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Sick my duck.

 

by Chuckaduck
3-29-05
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Why did the whore suck a dick?
Aiesha Danawala: To try and earn a little money to live shamefully on for the following hour while wallowing in pity over her sad existence.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: HAHAHAHA! I love that joke!
Aiesha Danawala: Haha! I'm a slut!

 

by Chuckaduck
3-29-05
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Hey, it's been fun but you need to leave. You don't have to go home but you got to get the fuck out of here.
Aiesha Danawala: But I WANT to go home. I just don't have money.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Hmm. You're not the most successful whore are you?
Aiesha Danawala: No.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: That's sad. Now leave.
Aiesha Danawala: Gangbang by street-corner-workin' hobos it is.

 

by Chuckaduck
3-30-05
Okay, here's what basically happened after 'Cocksucker' & I got busted behind our Jr. High years ago and were eventually questioned.
Aiesha Danawala: He forced himself on me!
Plot Progressing Cop: So, it was rape?
Note I'm incapable of what she claims. And provided the reason we were even busted is because an ENTIRE elementary located behind our Jr. High SAW what happened...
Aiesha Danawala: Yes!
Plot Progressing Cop: Reports state the gentleman was alone and you approached him with the proposition and that he merely accepted.
...and called our school proves she's as full of shit as she is cum. That was the best part though not the funniest. The funniest came from when she started blowing all the guys at Alt. School.
Aiesha Danawala: If I blow you will you just tell my dad I was raped?

 

by Chuckaduck
3-30-05
I was slapped with an accusation of 'Public Lewdness'. For the next six weeks I went to Alt. School for it. She remained for the remainder of the year.
Plot Progressing Cop: So you state she was the aggressor of this act?
You should have seen the black dudes perk up when I told them what me & her were in for.
Teenage Chuck: Yup.
Plot Progressing Cop: So it was entirely her idea to unzip your pants, pull out your cock and begin to perform oral pleasure?
She quickly earned the label of Johnson & Johnson. Cause well... ....the bitch just loved to suck johnsons man. What more can I say?
Teenage Chuck: Yup.
Plot Progressing Cop: And did she ever so slightly nibble the end... ..um, er.. ..*ahem*, forget that last one.

 

by Chuckaduck
3-30-05
Later, outside of the principal's office...
Aiesha Danawala: *Whew* That was close. What did you tell them?
Teenage Chuck: Do I know you?
Aiesha Danawala: Um, yes. I just got done sucking your dick.
Teenage Chuck: Actually we were interupted and you 'got done' with nothing.
Aiesha Danawala: Oh, right. Sorry. HEY! I still have a little KY Jelly in my ass from the tagteam the school staff just did on me. Wanna go at it?!

 

by Chuckaduck
3-30-05
*Lie
Teenage Chuck: Just for kicks, what did you tell them?
Aiesha Danawala: That they're crazy and nothing happened.* What did YOU tell them.
Teenage Chuck: You did it.
It's sad really. If this hadn't have happend she could have maintained her 'good-girl' facade for years to come maybe.
Teenage Chuck: I didn't get to finish my cigarette because of you.

 

by Chuckaduck
3-30-05
Years later, when I was still a semi-fresh face to MattMan's circle of friends she showed up as the friend of Matt's brother's girlfriend.
Teenage Chuck: So, why me?
Aiesha Danawala: I don't know, I've never done anything like that before!
I tapped Matt and said, "Dude that's cocksucker! That's the chick that sucked my dick behind my Jr. High!"
Teenage Chuck: A few other girls said you do shit like that all the time.
Aiesha Danawala: They're just mad cuz I did a mass bukkake with their boyfriends.
It was said in a loudish-whisper. Ergo, the entire room was immediately filled with laughter.
Teenage Chuck: You've got a cumstained future ahead of you.
Aiesha Danawala: THAT's where you're wrong.... ....I use OxyClean!

 

by Chuckaduck
3-30-05
That was a great flashback. I'm rather pleased.
Aiesha Danawala: Hey! That segment made me out to be some low-class, two-faced whore! How dare you insult me and make such false accusations!
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: I'll give you my three day old half-eaten tuna fish sandwich if you slob my knob.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: HAHAHAHAHA!
Aiesha Danawala: Hgk *slob, slob, slob* *munch* *slurp* mmmm *gobble, gobble*

 

by Chuckaduck
3-30-05
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Hey, got a joke for you.
Aiesha Danawala: *gobble, gobble* *sluuuurp* *slob, slob, slob*
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: What do you and the Bermuda triangle have in common?
Aiesha Danawala: *slob, slob, slob* hckl mofog logl*munch*?
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: No, you've both swallowed a lot of semen. HAHAHA!
Aiesha Danawala: ha, *gobble, gobble*, hagl, *slob, slob, slob* ha!

 

by Chuckaduck
3-30-05
Aiesha Danawala: *Slurp* Ah. That will be two dollars please.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT'S EVEN BETTER THAN MY BERMUDA TRIANGLE JOKE! HAHA! GOOD ONE!
Aiesha Danawala: *cries*

 

by Chuckaduck
3-30-05
The Chuck of Days Past: Hello. We wanted to take a sec and just apologize for the barrage of anti-Aiesha Danawala jokes you've been recently slammed with.
Chester: Right. Despite the indication that she's a giant whore, Chuck has lost communication with her for years now. The two did not part on good terms.
Teenage Chuck: It's merely a focus because it's based off of an actual event in Chuck's life where he did receive head from her in the manner explained and was later accused of being the 'aggressor'.
Married Autobot Chuck: Chuck did not, and still does not, appreciate being labeled as he was, even if absolutely no one bought into the idea. Regardless, Aiesha, we apologize in case you've read this.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: HAHAHAHAHAHA!! NOT!
Aiesha Danawala: *slurp* augl, lglgl, *gobble*, ohmmm...

 

by Chuckaduck
3-30-05
Depressed Stick Chuck: Hey, FYI, it says here you've been mispelling her name this entire time. It's 'Ayesha', not "Aiesha'.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Fantabulous.
Depressed Stick Chuck: She also got married, apparently, in '98 at the age of seventeen.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Hmm.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: That baby I saw you with that one day a few years ago had something to do with that, right?
'Ayesha' Danawala: If I blow you, do I still have to answer the question?

 

by Chuckaduck
3-30-05
Married Autobot Chuck: Hey Chuck, I want to talk to you. It seems you're getting a lot of striptime now and I'm being phased out.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: And?

 

by Chuckaduck
3-30-05
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Look, you have like under two hundred strips about you, your great life, your wife & kid, job, etc. We need to move on.
Married Autobot Chuck: But this strip is about me.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: No it's about Chuck. I'm Chuck, you're Chuck, we're all Chuck. There's plenty of others to provide material for The Inner Struggle strip.
Married Autobot Chuck: So what the hell am I supposed to do?!
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Go home and have sex with your wife. We'll call if we need you.
Married Autobot Chuck: ....very well. I'm going home and having sex with my wife.

 

by Chuckaduck
3-30-05
Chester: Am I correct in the understanding you just sent The Nutless Wonder home to his family, thereby negating all chances we had of free reign in Chuckdom?
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Sort of. He's gone, but with his chapter ended, we have a form of free reign with Chuck's mindscape... ...and blowjobs shall be galore.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Chester: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

 

by Chuckaduck
3-30-05
MattMan: NATE! Get your fag ass out of my room! No Catholic priest sexslaves allowed!
The Pubotic Nesticle: Numnumnumnum, it's not what you think. Hehe.
MattMan: Save it Nate. It's all over the internet now. Many people know.
The Pubotic Nesticle: !?! Numnumnum, does my family know?
MattMan: Hold on, *click*, yup, they do now. I just sent them an email under the false pretense I was you and claimed you can't wait for them to meet your boyfriend Father Nutsalot.
!!!

 

by Chuckaduck
3-31-05
MattMan: Nate, get your filthy ass the hell out of here. Remove yourself from my sight.
The Pubotic Nesticle: Um,num, why, so you guys can smoke all your weed without me? Hehe.
Richdawg: Nate! NAAAAATE! That's none of your godamn business. Now get the fuck out just like Matt asked before I set my massive nuts on your face and crush you to death.
Richdawg: Um, forget I said that... ........get away from me Nate.

 

by Chuckaduck
3-31-05
*slob,slob,slob* hogl *sluuuurp*
MattMan: Man, I STILL can't believe not only did you think dragons were real you ASKED DAD to prove it!
Richdawg: Shudup.
*gobble, gobble* *slob, slob, slob*
MattMan: Rich, I'm not doggin' on ya... ...okay I am. I mean, YOU WENT TO DAD!
Richdawg: Damnit, shudup!
*slurp* mmmm *gobble, gobble*
Richdawg: Dude, you HAVE to go. I'm getting way too much shit for this. No one believes you're real.
Behemoth: That hurts.

 

by Chuckaduck
3-31-05
Frivolous Knobslobbererer: Ow, my jaw hurts. Anything else I can do you for?
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Nah I'm good. Go hit up Chester. Give that monstrosity sloppy seconds.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: That was some awesome stuff by the way! You're going to go somewhat further than you are now in life!
Ayesha Danawala: *Ahem*
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: My ho sense is tingling.
Ayesha Danawala: I SAID *AHEM*

 

by Chuckaduck
3-31-05
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Oh, hey there. Look, you really need to stop coming by. Your story was an interesting and entertaining one. But it's done. Goodbye.
Ayesha Danawala: Don't you still want me to give you head? Aren't I good for that if nothing else?
Ayesha Danawala: *Gasp* NO! Please don't give me the cold-shoulder! I need money! BLOWJOBS FOR CASH! BLOWJOBS FOR CASH!

 

by Chuckaduck
3-31-05
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Why are you still here?
Ayesha Danawala: Please let me blow you for money! I'll do anything you want!
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: I know, isn't it great?
Ayesha Danawala: Look, I'm only doing things like this because a oral fetish I have turned into a lifestyle that led to nothing but pocketchange, cumstains, and loveless relationships.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: I know, isn't it great?
Ayesha Danawala: *cries*

 

by Chuckaduck
3-31-05
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Okay, fine. Make me laugh and I'll consider having stay on as a regular and work for week old pizza crusts and change from the sofa.
Ayesha Danawala: ........why are you so mean now? I just wanted to suck your cock and now I'm nothing, I'm scum, I'm just a lonely unsuccessful hooker that's alienated all people I know! *Cries*
Ayesha Danawala: *Crying*
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: AHAHAHAHAHA!! Yeah! That was great! You're hired!
Ayesha Danawala: *Sobs*

 

by Chuckaduck
4-01-05
'Are you depressed? Feeling let down?'
Farmer Chuck: With my opportunity for some front time as the main Chuck personality gone? You bet.
'If so, you may be suffering from clinical depression. Panaxilex VR can relieve your sadness and make your day bright once more.'
Farmer Chuck: Here it comes.
'Side effects include headache, abdominal cramps, diarrhea or constipation, repeated vomiting, sexual side-effects, loss of heartbeat, arthritis, turrets syndrome, internal bleeding and mild stroke.'
Farmer Chuck: But at least you won't be depressed about it, right?

 

by Chuckaduck
4-01-05
*knock knock*
Farmer Chuck: Luffa. Good to see you. What's up? You never stop by.
Chuckaluffa: It has come to my attention our only out for true domination of Chuckdom has been sent home to his family.
Transitional... ......?
Farmer Chuck: Yup, sucks don't it?
Chuckaluffa: Yes it does. I propose a plan of action to rectify this situation.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-01-05
Holy Nun: Father, I wanted to come back and attempt to ask forgiveness for posing in a porn magazine and having sex with Chester in your church.
Typical Catholic Priest: Forget it! Not a chance! You're gone! We don't take kindly to publicly displayed sexual acts in this denomination!
Typical Catholic Priest: We prefer behind closed doors with gallons of KY Jelly, right Nate?

 

by Chuckaduck
4-01-05
Too Much Acid Chuck: wHAT?
Chester: You better not be a regular.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-01-05
Too Much Acid Chuck: uM, hAhAhA. wHOA. dO YOU SEE THAT?
Chester: I don't like you.
Too Much Acid Chuck: tHEY'RE BREATHIN' MAN! tHEY'RE BREATHIN'! hAhAhA!
Chester: No. No, this won't do at all.
Too Much Acid Chuck: wHOA. yOU'RE BARELY MOVIN' AND i'M CATCHING MAJOR TRACERS OFF OF YOU!
Chester: Oh, got suck down a bottle of Vitamin C pills or something. Fuck off you freak.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-01-05
Chester: Chuck!
Chester: Dude, we've got to do something. This strip has no focus without Balless & Chained, and new Chucks are not the answer.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: What do you propose?
Chester: Hmm. Latina Porn Digest jokes seem to get good feedback.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: And there's always more semi-gratuitous & demeaning blowjob humor. People love that. Also, what do you think about more Nate jokes?

 

by Chuckaduck
4-01-05
Chester: Hmm, yes, Nate jokes get good favor. Not the best, but good. I don't find them all that funny myself.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: More bj jokes it is. It'll give you some time to work on some Latina Porn Digest bits. I'll go find Ayesha.
Chester: Um, no rush. She might be busy. I mean... ...you never know.
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: .................she's got her tongue in your ass right now, doesn't she.
Chester: It's the Boogey Buttplug Buckaroo special!
The Real Chuck or an Unreasonable Facsimile: Sicko.

 

by Chuckaduck
4-01-05
Ayesha Danawala: Mmm. *Ahem* Thanks for paying upfront. I'm not used to that.
Chester: You mean people usually pay you afterward?
Ayesha Danawala: People don't usually pay me at all.
Chester: .......
Ayesha Danawala: What?
Jackpot!

Showing page 5.

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